beesyrup

[beesyrup]

caught a trusted friend watching simpsons porn. called the bureau on him, they dragged him screaming into a van. I never saw him again

[beesyrup]

medieval backstreet boys: you are… my friar

[beesyrup]

[beesyrup]

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

[beesyrup]

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

[beesyrup]

they’re banning cis ppl from sports after an investigation revealed they were annoying

[beesyrup]

film bros are really watching “twin peaks” when they could be watching “twinks pee”

[beesyrup]

I love captions on nudey posts. "Do you like tight holes?" I mean I suppose I do. Never been displeased with one. Good track record with them as far as I'm concerned. All things considered I guess you could call me a fan.

[beesyrup]

lets cut the shit. i like your fucking shoelaces. and thats it

[beesyrup]

I'm bout to juggablow my juggaload

[beesyrup]

I genuinely think Philomena Cunk interview questions are academically valuable in that 1. They force experts to consider ridiculous scenarios they never would have thought of having to deal with and 2. They test the ability of academics to explain their fields to laypeople and challenge the idea that “everybody knows xyz.” I think part of all higher level degree programs should involve having to get interviewed by Philomena Cunk

[beesyrup]

Eat your shirt

confused bart^

[beesyrup]

throating it once or twice never hurt a friendship

[beesyrup]

it’s like 9 inches nothing can convince me otherwise

[beesyrup]

[beesyrup]

i have a favorite tweet of the year already

[beesyrup]