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Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

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i

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Full song is out!! Support this mf!!!!!!

The rare actual post by me, did the visualizer art for blockbite here. Go check it out!

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The rare actual post by me, did the visualizer art for blockbite here. Go check it out!

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*bills out*

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For those of you who experience attraction: what does a crush feel like? Asking for a friend

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As a rule of thumb, don't reblog donation posts or people asking for donations unless they've been vetted and reblogged by Palestinian bloggers. We usually go to lengths to verify this shit because we know scammers have been faking to get people to send them money, using the urgency of our genocide as bait.

It's disgusting this is what we're dealing with, but people are losing money because of some truly evil people out there.

Accounts don't just randomly spring up on tumblr without gofundmes while asking for someone to help them create a campaign. Fuck out of here with that shit.

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Jax vs Sans. the war of the smiley trashbags.

Could not have asked for a better ask to start this blog.

Jax

“Ooh, violence.”

Jax is a humanoid jackrabbit trapped inside of The Amazing Digital Circus. Throughout the first 2 episodes of the show, he’s portrayed as a sadistic person who appears not to care about harming others (including his friends).

Pros:

Digital Body (can’t ‘die’, immune to almost all types of death inducing methods)

Sadistic Nature (won’t care that much if Sans starts showing weakness)

Cartoon Physics Apply to Him (can teleport/run absurdly fast, stretch limbs, etc.)

Cons:

Arrogant (might give Sans an opening to attack)

Impatient (gave up driving the rig in Candy Carrier Chaos because the horn sucked)

Quick to Anger/Recklessness (doesn’t really think things through, can be rash)

Sans

*Can’t doge forever. Keep attacking.

Sans is a monster sealed underneath Mt. Ebott. Through most of the game, he’s depicted as a smiling, pun-telling, fourth wall breaking funny bone man. However, if you kill everyone in the game, he turns into one of the hardest boss fights in the entire game.

Pros:

Wide Variety of Weaponry (gravity manipulation, bone summoning, gaster blasters, KR, etc.)

Able to Dodge (this is unique in the game, as monsters don’t usually dodge attacks)

Able to Break The Normal Fighting System (attacking you on your turn, not letting you even have your turn)

Cons:

Low Stamina (can only dodge a certain amount of times, grows tired as battle progresses)

Stats (1 HP, 1 ATK)

Lazy (needs a lot of motivation to even start a fight)

Fight Explanation

So the way this fight will go is that we’re gonna assume that both characters are somehow teleported to a giant floating slab in the middle of nowhere, exactly as they are right now. Alright, let’s do this.

FIGHT

“JAX!! WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING CENTIPEDES IN MY ROOM!!!”

Ragatha’s screams echoed all through the tent, causing the inhabitants to stir out of their sleep. They didn’t blame Ragatha though, they all knew how much of a jerk Jax is.

“Chillax dollface, they’re not even real. All digital, remember?”

”WELL THEY FEEL REAL TO ME!!”

Ragatha attempted to hurl a sewing needle at Jax’s eye. He dodged it easily, and turned to face Ragatha, eyebrows raised.

“Really, dollface? I thought you knew better than tha-“

Suddenly, a shadow set upon the tent. Before anyone knew what was happening, a giant black hand had grabbed Jax and dragged him through the nearest door. Jax caught a glimpse of a swirling golden tower before being dropped onto a giant, flat, gray landscape.

Groaning, Jax got to his feet.

“Hey, what’s the big idea!?”

After dusting himself off, Jax looked around. He saw nothing but flat gray ground as far as the eye could see. Suddenly, from behind, he heard a voice. A low, menacing voice that shook him to his core.

“don’t you know how to greet a new pal? turn around… and s h a k e m y h a n d.”

Instinctively, Jax spun around and threw a punch. When he withdrew his fist from the air (he seemed to have missed his intended target), he saw a skeleton standing a few inches away with his hand outstretched.

“woahhh there pal, it’s just the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick.”

Jax was seething. First the stupid ragdoll had tried to kill him, and now this skeleton was mocking him. He was sure that this was one of Caine’s tricks, trying to make him “behave better”. Well he wasn’t going to take this, not from that damn AI and certainly not from one of his stupid NPC’s. He drew his fist back again and started trying to hit the skeleton anywhere he could, but no matter where he tried to punch, the skeleton seemed to be a few inches away.

“man, you really like trying to kill people you first meet. reminds me of a friend of mine.”

Sans decided that it was time to see if this rabbit was worth messing around with. Casually, he lifted up his hand and held Jax in place. Jax, stunned at his inability to move, watched as the skeleton’s ‘eyes’ went dark leaving 2 empty eye sockets that seemed to stare into his soul.

*Jax, LV. 19 - 54 ATK 48 DEF

*Seems he can’t be reasoned with…

“huh, LV. 19… wonder how you managed that.”

“What the hell are you on about skeleton, lemme go!” Jax was struggling against the invisible force holding him up. Sans obliged, letting him drop to the ground with a sickening crunch.

“Not like that, dumbass! I meant gently!”

Sans didn’t respond. He noticed the uneasy aura around Jax that he had previously thought was the eerie environment. This rabbit had to be stopped, lest it bring more chaos and destruction to its home.

“let’s just get to the point” Sans said, snapping his fingers

Jax whirled around. He was now in a 2 dimensional white box, facing the skeleton.

“Oh so that’s how you wanna do it huh, funny man?!? Give yourself a smaller space for you to run!?” Jax was fuming. He’d never seen anything like this.

”welp, i guess you know what they say… you don’t carrot all until someone shows that your actions aren’t white as fur.”

“Jeez that was awfu-“ Jax didn’t get a chance to finish because before he knew it, he was being slammed against one of the boxes walls. He quickly bounced back to his feet and lunged at the skeleton, barely missing the bones that shot out of the wall behind him. He charged, pulling a flintlock from behind his ears. He dodged more bones, then punched at the skeleton. As he had expected, the skeleton had dodged out of the way, but now he took aim and fired the flintlock right at the smiling idiot.

Sans still managed to dodge, driving the rabbit further into anger. Suddenly, a dragon skull almost as big as the fudge monster in the candy kingdom appeared and hit him square in the torso. It hurt like hell, but it couldn’t kill Jax.

“Hey stupid! I’m a human, not an NPC like you! You can’t exactly kill me!”

Sans stopped for a second. The rabbit’s words had confused him. Human? But this… thing clearly wasn’t human… right? Before he could ponder this question too much, he saw the bunny take aim again and dodged the bullet. Jax, now going to desperate measures to get one hit on the skeleton, pulled out a minigun he stole from the rig and opened fire on Sans.

Sans dodged all the bullets, but the constant assault was wearing him down. Very early in the battle, he decided to use his pre-special attack. Jax dropped his minigun as he was slammed from wall to wall, but he knew now how to dodge to bones. After hitting all for walls, he had to dodge around a bunch of bones.

”Is that all you got?!?” taunted Jax.

Sans’ smile widened as he stretched the box and sent the rabbit flying down the hall. Jax, not expecting this, was forced to twist his digital body in a way no normal body could to avoid the stream of bones down the hall he now zoomed down. He collided sharply with a wall and had to jump as yet more bones came at him. After that, yet more dragon skulls tried to blast him, forcing him to run screaming in circles. Finally, the blasters stopped, but then the skeleton grabbed him again and started outright pounding him against the walls.

At long last, all was silent. Jax was sprawled on the floor, flat as a pancake, while Sans was nearby, gasping and wheezing after all the effort he had used. Jax peeled himself up off the ground.

Holy shit, that hurt. This is the most brutal NPC that Caine’s ever made, thought Jax. He noticed the skeleton kneeling nearby. “Whassa matta with you bone man? All tuckered out?” Jax grinned malevolently, knowing his victory was within his grasp. Sans got to his feet.

“welp, guess it’s time for my special attack.” he said, grinning at the rabbitoid. Jax prepared himself, expecting bones, dragon skulls, or walls to rush him at any minute. But nothing came.

“So uhhh… wherezit at?” he asked.

Sans grin broadened. “this is my special attack. it’s nothing. and it ain’t gonna be anything either.”

Jax was puzzled. “You mean… you give up? Wow guess i’m better than even I thought.” He reached for one of his guns, but found there were none. No matter, he thought, i’ll just punch this guy into oblivion he stepped forward, and was instantly teleported back.

“nope. can’t attack yet. it’s not your turn.”

Jax narrowed his eyes. “You mean we’ve been fighting on the honor system this whole time?! That’s the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard!” He started running at the skeleton, but kept being teleported back.

Sans stared at him. “yep, common courtesy. i attack you, you attack me, so one so forth. an eye for an eye socket.”

“Quit… With… The… PUNS!!!” Jax yelled trying desperately to get at the skeleton, but no matter what he tried, he couldn’t get near him. This was too much for Jax. He wasn’t used to being unable to reach his goals, and now the ultimate NPC stood before him and he couldn’t kill him. Now laughing like a maniac, Jax started actually clawing at the invisible force driven between him and his adversary. Suddenly, black goop started running out of every orifice in his face. He doubled up, cackling, as the goop consumed him, sprouting multi-colored eyes all over his body. Jax had abstracted.

End of battle

Thoughts

This battle was hard to think about. As Jax technically can’t die, and Sans only dies if you don’t move during his final attack, this was tricky. Like I said, it all boils down to Sans’ final attack. In a battle of wills, who would win? Jax would have had to sit and do nothing for 5 minutes before getting the chance to strike at Sans, and I honestly couldn’t see him doing that (impatient bastard).

SANS WINS!

Do you agree with this? Lemme know in the comments how this would have gone in your mind. I read all comments and am really curious to hear your thoughts! :)

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This blog is now here

Welcome to this place I made out of sheer boredom. My friends told me I was pretty good at making character fight analyses so here I am. If you wanna submit characters to pit against each other to the death, here’s the guidelines.

No more then 2 characters at a time

Make sure it’s not ridiculously unbalanced

Any fandoms are fine - use anyone and have fun!

I specialize in a few fandoms, but literally any are fine (check tags for specialized fandoms).

Fair warning: these might spin on for a bit and turn into full on essays… you have been warned

Can’t wait to listen to your crazy ass fight ideas :)

#new to tumblr#new blog#first post#fight#fight analysis#wait isn’t this nerd stuff?

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Ykw. I havent posted about Homestuck enough this year. ima shill a fanventure ive been working on yet havent posted about here yet for some reason. Expect rants about the characters when i get the chance.

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happy pride month. I now have an aro-ace flag :)

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To celebrate pride month I've decided to make a part 2 of the killing transphobes post since it was given a community warning. (🚗🔨⚒️💥)

LIMITED TIME OFFER:

For every note this gets I will kill one (1) aphobe AND one (1) arophobe with my bare hands.

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I couldn't go without doing Dave and Terezi bc it's def them.

which two characters would this be

I’m assuming Homestuck considering hyperfixations bUT

Honestly I’m torn between it being Terezi and Vriska OR Dave and Terezi ngl?? It’s some stupid stuff they’d get into hehehh

Maybe Dave and June/John

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Actually ykw, currently booping anyone I see on my dash bc fuck it

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what

I'm sorry I didn't know they were Actually going to put a tumblrPet on my dashboard I thought it was a jokeohwaitright.

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REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR AROMANTIC PEOPLE AND IF YOU THINK THEY ARE VALID

I want to see how many people actually are willing to say this and not just act like it