becauseofcamp-blog

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S   T   N          M   T   N

K   A   U   A   I

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“nerdy ass black kid”, whatever man, i’m sick of him

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Tuesday afternoon, I ain't got shit to do

Childish Gambino, II. shadows-Because The Internet

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Goodnight my people 🙌🏻

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This is on a bus back from camp, I’m 13 and so are you. Before I left for camp I imagined it would be me and 3 or 4 other dudes I hadn’t met yet running around all summer getting into trouble. Turned out, it would be just me and 1 girl, that’s you. We’re still at camp as long as we’re on the bus and not at the pick-up point where our parents will be waiting for us. We’re still wearing our orange camp t-shirts, we still smell like pine needles. I like you and you like me and I more-than like you but I don’t know if you do or don’t more-than like me…you’ve never said. So I haven’t been saying anything all summer content to enjoy the small miracle of a girl choosing to talk to me, choosing to do so again the next day and so on. A girl who’s smart and funny and who, if I say something dumb for a laugh is willing to say something 2 or 3 times as dumb to make me laugh but who also gets weird and wise sometimes in a way I can never be, a girl who reads books that no-ones assigned to her, who’s curly brown hair has a line running through it, where she put a tie to hold it up while it was still wet. Back in the real world we don’t go to the same school and not unless one of our families moves to a dramatically different neighbourhood, we won’t go to the same high school. So…this is kind of it for us, unless I say something and it might especially be ‘it’ for us if I actually do say something. The sun’s gone down and the bus is quiet. A lot of kids are asleep. We’re talking in whispers about a tree we saw at a rest-stop that looks like a kid we know and then I’m like “Can I tell you something?” And all of a sudden I’m telling you and I keep telling you, it all comes out of me and it keeps coming, your face is there and gone and there and gone as we pass under the orange lamps that line the sides of the highway and there’s no expression on it and I think just after a point I’m just talking to lengthen the time where we live in a world where you haven’t said “yes” or “no” yet and regrettably I end up using the word “Destiny”, I don’t remember in what context…doesn’t really matter. Before long I’m out of stuff to say and you smile and say “Okay”. I don’t know exactly what you mean by it but it seems vaguely positive and I would leave in order not to spoil the moment but there’s nowhere to go because we’re on a bus. So I pretend I’m asleep and before long I really am. I wake up, the bus isn’t moving anymore, the domed lights that line the centre aisle are all on. I turn and you’re not there then again a lot of kids aren’t in their seats anymore. We’re parked at the pick-up point which is in the parking lot of a Methodist church. The bus is half empty. You might be in your dads car by now, your bags and things piled high in the trunk. The girls in the back of the bus are shrieking and laughing and taking their sweet time disembarking as I swing my legs out to the aisle to get up off the bus just as one of them reaches my row, it used to be our row on our way off. It’s Michelle, a girl who got suspended in third grade for a week after throwing rocks at my head. Adolescence is doing her a ton of favours body-wise. She stops and looks down at me and her head is blasted from behind by the dome lights so I can’t really see her face but I can see her smile, she says one word, “Destiny”. Then all of the girls clogging the aisle behind her all laugh and then she turns and leads them off the bus. I didn’t even know you were friends with them. I find my dad in the parking lot. He drives me back to our house and camp is over. So is Summer, even though it’s two weeks till school starts. This isn’t a story about how girls are evil or how love is bad, this is a story about how I learned something and I’m not saying this thing is true or not I’m just saying it’s what I learned. I told you something and it was just for you, you told everybody. So I learned to cut out the middle man, make it all for everybody, always. Everybody can’t turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows, I told them but this means there isn’t a place in my life for you or someone like you, is it sad? Sure but it’s a sadness I chose. I wish I could say this is a story about how I got on a bus a boy and got off a man, more cynical, hardened, mature and stuff but that’s not true. The truth is I got on the bus a boy and I never got off the bus, I still haven’t.

Childish Gambino, That Power (via hx-ss-xn)

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*(not mine)*

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🍑🙏🏼

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~ childish gambino : shadows ~

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Chance has a mind so creative, kinda looking like galaxy’s

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"You know it's fucking childish to write a song to get me! " I'm always fucking childish. You knew that when you met me.

Childish Gambino, Longest Text Message

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Holla, holla, holla, holla at yo boy Like yo dad when he's pissed off Got flow, I could make a cripple crip walk Niggas' breath stank, all they do is shit talk

Childish Gambino, That Power-Camp

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Couldn’t see me as Spider-Man, but now I’m spittin’ venom

Childish Gambino, Not Going Back-EP