beanythingbooks

[beanythingbooks]

Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?

The question wasn’t even on Hap’s mind as they worked in their lab on the gas giant of Toastopia. Hap was one of the foremost experts in gravity technology. They’d gone beyond detecting gravitons. Now, they were making them.

Then one day, everything got turned on its head.

It was a good thing the Toastacorns didn’t keep change keep change in their pockets, or it all would have fallen out the day Hap turned on their anti-gravity device. Rather than float a pad of butter in over the test-slice of bread, every Toastacorn felt their feet pulled up to the clouds. Fortunately, the device didn’t propel them out of the atmosphere, but the fact that it worked as well as it did gave Hap a new idea.

Space travel!

There was a planet Hap wanted to see. One where the toast always landed butter-side down. In the face of such amazing feats of engineering, such injustice could not be allowed to persist!

With the positive media spin firmly applied, the Toastacorns rallied behind Hap and the space engineers. Hap couldn’t figure out how to turn off the Toastacorn device, and the rockets kept going down instead of up. But soon, they blasted a hole through the stale crust of their planet a slipped free on a butter-coated rocket.

The donut hole had unfortunate side-effects for those left on the planet, but ship after ship followed the S.S. Breadbox into the stars, on a mission to defy gravity and save their toasted kin from gravity.

~FIN~

Special thanks to today’s contributing artist, Ines.

[beanythingbooks]

**** The Suntillian Occlusion ****

She’s got nerve… no wait! She is nerve!

She had a globe for seeing, three for hearing, two for smelling, and X-ray vision. All were vital to help this snowshoe cyclops survive on the ice planet of Suntilly. With a body made of neurons, she had a brain the size of… herself… and she used it to hunt wild mountain boars. For sport; not for eating. There was no globe for eating.

Mountain boars made decent pets and even better coats for this bag of neurons. The more she could tame, the fewer dropping there would be on her ski slopes and glacier trails.

Winter was coming, and Nelly wanted a new pet boar to keep her company through the cold months. Her X-ray vision helped her spot a bony creature trotting across the land. It was smaller than the normal boar and trotted on two legs instead of four. It had two globes set in bones, and a hunk of hot, metal melted the ice behind it a few paces back. These weren’t the first extra-terrestrials Nelly had encountered, and her incredibly large brain told her to drop to the ground and lay low until they disappeared.  Digging her snowshoes into the glacier, she sounded the alarm for the other Suntillians. When they put their globes together, they could hide themselves and their precious boars, making the planet look uninteresting and uninhabitable. Outsiders made Nelly nervous. She just wanted them to go away.

~FIN~

Special thanks to today’s contributing artist, Pete.

[beanythingbooks]

**** Tillandsian Spies ****

A good spy knows how to keep up with current events.

And on the gas giant Tillandsia, the currents were strong. The world had no water, but the air was so thick that their very thoughts caught the wind like dandelion seeds.

Elis worked in Tillandsian Intelligence, and he had a lot on his mind. In studying signals from outer space, he’d found some disturbing messages from one of the other planets in the inner solar system. The local science had come into conflict with religious symbology and internet memes, and Elis couldn’t tell if the six-pointed stars were being celebrated or used as variables in a math equation.

His trusty pet Flufferpup could sense the disturbance in Elis’s mind and she trotted over to cheer him up. Flufferpup was sort of a dog, cat, space-crab mix with five eyes, one of which helped her see Elis’s ongoing thoughts. Flufferpup didn’t seem to realize that thoughts weren’t edible, and the more she pounced at them, the more Elis laughed and let the currents carry his troubles away.

Pumping his four tentacle wings, Elis floated upward into the thick atmosphere. Sometimes, he likes to watch broadcasts about jellyfish, because only when humans learn how to talk to the tentacled Tillandsian spies and respect their intelligence, would they be ready for first contact.

~FIN~

Special thanks to today’s contributing artist, Jeanne Louise.

[beanythingbooks]

**** The Boxtopus Emergence ****

The Boxtopus race has gone postal!

There was a rumor that the Boxtopus was created by humans as the result of genetic experimentation in pursuit of a better postal worker. It first crawled out of an Amazon factory following the great bidet shipping crisis of 2035.

But then the Boxtopus began crawling out of rural mailboxes as well, leaving trails of slime and junk mail. Fortunately, the slime caused the junk mail to biodegrade at a higher rate, dissolving useless credit card offers into fertile garden soil.

Then there was that strange incident in 2037, when every human on Earth received a newspaper delivery (whether they had a mailbox or not). The headline of the inaugural Earth Times told of the glory of our new, benevolent alien overlords. With its ability to send tentacles through alternate dimensions, the Boxtopus resolved all issues with the global distribution, thus ending world hunger and food waste. Naturally, there were protests, but the hunger strikes of the elite 1 % were quickly overshadowed by the joy of over one billion people no longer suffering hunger and food insecurity.

As we approach 2040, we are well on our way to building a vast fleet of spaceships and exploring the stars with our new friends. And despite their intergalactic spaceship revelation, there are still conspiracy theorists who claim that our benevolent alien delivery-critters were grown in a lab right here on Earth!

~FIN~

Special thanks to today’s contributing artist Joseph B.

[beanythingbooks]

My gender caught the plague and died, luckily I survived.

[beanythingbooks]

I moved one of my books to kindle unlimited. More to follow!

[beanythingbooks]

My new book is almost here!

[beanythingbooks]

[beanythingbooks]

I swear, one day I will turn all these into a song

The CDC deemed my gender unhealthy and took it from me :(

[beanythingbooks]

It’s coming!

[beanythingbooks]

I knew I shouldn’t have cosplayed Vision before my surgery

Thanos snapped my gender away

[beanythingbooks]

Finished a new draft... It is beautiful.

[beanythingbooks]

My new book has hit the shelves. Grab your copy today. E-book and paperback available

[beanythingbooks]

THE CONFLUENCE

My book comes out tomorrow! I’m so excited! http://www.valeriebean.com

[beanythingbooks]

O’Neill: I love what they’ve done with the place.

[beanythingbooks]

When I got top surgery, people made me worry that I'd lose my femininity. Then one day at lunch, I saw this happy skeleton, and they didn’t need breasts to fill out a dress. Eleven weeks post-op. I made a dress.

[beanythingbooks]

Happy #asexualawarenessweek! http://www.valeriejmikles.com