beansandbs

[beansandbs]

In Response to Cynthia Dill’s Column In The Portland Press Herald, 5-27-18

 By Erin Bruns

Full disclosure I pay for advertizing space in The Bollard where I write monthly editorials about restaurant life and current events.

 I have read Cynthia Dill’s column: More courage needed to advance from #metoo multiple times today because it absolutely puzzles me. “Publicizing sexual harassment isn’t enough to help many women confront abuses of power.” What would you have them do rather than publicize it? Being silent certainly doesn’t speak to power; neither does attacking the victims in the press.

 She begins her op-ed by writing about the horrors of living under a Trump presidency and the fact that 52 percent of white women voted for him. That we need to examine why and “scratch at the veneer”, ok I’m with you so far, why indeed did so many white women vote for a serial abuser and racist. One of the reasons why, I believe, is that many white women didn’t want to vote for another woman, that they have internalized misogyny. I also think a lot of white women are racist.

 Dill’s next paragraph, and her entire column certainly bear out my feelings on internalized misogyny. She immediately swings into Jessie Lacey, a woman who was sexually harassed at Maine Media Collective in 2009 and came forward with her story last month. Lacey released her story in a blog the night before The Bollard published an investigative piece by editor and journalist, Chris Busby, about the company.

 In her next paragraph, Dill, a lawyer, says that she “is not judging the merits of a legal claim” because Lacey never filed a lawsuit. Then Dill weighs in on the different possibilities that such a lawsuit might have revealed. Perhaps Lacey would have prevailed, but most likely the “toxic and intoxicating” environment was equal for all genders and she was just “drunk on a material lifestyle and too many drinks.” This narrative puts the onus on a young employee who was sexually assaulted by her employer because she had a few drinks at dinner. It is also probably a personal dig at Lacey’s current job of writing about cocktails in Maine Women Magazine. If Dill read the article by Busby then she would know that Lacey’s desk was moved to a hallway where she had to stare at her empty office and that she was given a salary reduction and reduced hours to make her ineligible for health insurance, both to force her out and to punish her for not acquiescing to her employer’s sexual advances.

 “In other words, a jury could find #Boohoo, and enter a judgment for the defendant” this is a very real fear for any woman who is pursuing a sexual harassment case, first you have to find a lawyer that will represent you and then convince a judge and jury that the casual sexual harassment that all women deal with is worthy of a judgment. Otherwise you can find yourself paying the perpetrator for the abuse that you have endured.

 Then Dill really digs in on Lacey, that we should expect more from her than just her story, that it is Lacey’s job to go deeper and truly examine the incident, that she didn’t write about it well enough, there was no point to any of it, no analysis.  It’s not enough to “document the sordid and intriguing details of what it was like to work in a palace” was palace the real word choice or is this a typo? I am sure that the offices were nice but a palace? Was Lacey supposed to play the part of the scullery maid and just take whatever scraps her Lord and Lady gave her? Why does Dill feel the need to dictate how another writer tells her story? Not only did Lacey write her piece, she also talked to Chris Busby whom did the investigative background work that made it more than just one woman’s story.

 Yet Dill finds Lacey lacking in courage and attacks her for her cowardice, it’s not like she has been a heroic pilot or an African woman that was kidnapped and escaped. Her “#metoo story dripping with privilege, lacking depth and heavy on the ‘me’ is not courageous. It’s boring.” Personally I have found Dill’s entire examination of this subject and her caustic words about Lacey to be dripping with privilege. Is there any personal motivation for Dill to continuously attack this woman time and again? Last week Dill felt the need to quote tweet Bill Nemitz’s article on this same subject with the title Hardworking Mainers try to keep going under (sort of fake) #metoo cloud.

 Nemitz questioned whether or not it is right for the people that currently work for Maine Media Collective to lose their employment due to the actions of the owners.

I disagreed with him heavily, I feel that in order for the culture to change there has to be consequences and as we so often see there have been few consequences in the past. The people in power retain their power and the people that have been abused have to cross their fingers and hope for the best. Lacey was lucky, and talented, and found a better job but not all sexual harassment victims are so lucky. In this case a company that is very reliant on advertising lost a lot of their clients. The market speaks and the market is sick and tired of abuse and misogyny.

 In her second to last paragraph Dill wants Lacey to change the world with her story. “Chin up, old girl. Use your mind. Go to a deeper place. Don’t write a flipping blog post until you have to something to say about why you and others were so enamored of a lifestyle that obviously was so dysfunctional.” Was it the lifestyle that was dysfunctional? Is there something about taking pretty pictures and writing glowing articles about upscale Maine experiences’ that screams dysfunction? Would Dill make the same assertion about a Town and Country writer? Or was the corporate culture what was dysfunctional in a State where there are few jobs in the magazine industry?

 Her final paragraph was the most telling of all. “How did it feel to produce a glossy rag that made 99 percent of the people reading it feel inferior? And why did a majority of white women vote for Donald Trump?” I would say that 99 percent of magazines that depict fashion, home décor, travel and food make most people feel aspirational or inferior depending on their personality. If only magazines showed real life then white women wouldn’t have voted for Trump? Is that her takeaway? Or is it that Lacey not reporting an incident in 2009 caused a domino effect that has now brought us to this moment in history.

 The fact that Dill opened and closed her column speaking about Trump and then denigrating a young woman that works in the same industry tells me everything I need to know about why white women voted Trump.

  #metoo

[beansandbs]

Pod Save America

​​​ ​This is an advertorial that I wrote for The Bollard which is a free independent monthly newspaper in Maine. I own a small burrito restaurant in Yarmouth Maine. Each month I take out a half page ad and use it to talk about the restaurant, life, and politics. I pay to be published because 1 I've found it the only print advertising that works and 2 I like supporting independent news and having a place to make my voice heard. This advertorial will be coming out in the June issue of The Bollard. POD SAVE AMERICA I don’t know how many of you are breathlessly watching this bumbling excuse for an administration. I don’t know how informed people are, or even if they want to be more informed on the many issues that are plaguing our country. In some ways I wish I didn’t need to be in the know of what new cruel policy is being proposed by our House, Senate, Department of Justice, State Department and the President. I don’t watch the news. I read The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Guardian and Mother Jones. I also listen to podcasts. If you haven’t found the world of podcasting yet and you have an iPhone, check out the podcast app that comes with the phone or download Laughable. If you have an Android, download Google Play or Spotify. One podcast group that helps me appreciate the current political swirl is Crooked Media. Founded by Tommy Vietor, Jon Favreau, and Jon Lovett, all ex-speechwriters or spokespeople for President Barack Obama, it’s “a place to talk about politics the way actual human beings talk.” They have five core podcasts: Pod Save America, Pod Save The World, With Friends Like These, Pod Save The People, and Lovett of Leave It. Jon Favreau hosts Pod Save America, with Tommy and Lovett co-hosting. They discuss the politics of the week and help bring perspective to the political realm by comparing their experiences with what’s going on now. They also have guests, from Congressmen to activists, with whom they have long-form conversations about the state of the country. DeRay Mckesson — educator, Black Lives Matter activist and Bowdoin graduate — hosts Pod Save The People, which explores race, activism and social justice. He is thoughtful and candid, and an amazing interviewer. His talk with Edward Snowden was very eye-opening. Jon Lovett’s very funny Lovett or Leave It is a live show at a comedy club with comedians and journalists making light of the nutty things going on while still making interesting and important political points. The Dollop (not a part of Crooked Media) is another podcast I listen to for comedy and historical information. It’s a biweekly American History podcast in which Dave Anthony (comedian, writer, father, know-it-all …) reads a story from history to his friend Gareth Reynolds, improv comedian extraordinaire, who doesn’t know what the topic will be. Recent episodes #260 (The Welfare Queen) and #261 (Henry Ford’s Henchman) were not only hilarious; they weave a story about history and how it shapes the situation we find ourselves in today. Dave and Gareth also have a new book out, “The United States of Absurdity,” which I highly recommend. I believe a large part of comprehending the world we find thrust upon us is educating ourselves by reading, listening and opening up to new ideas. Corporate-controlled media does not allow for that. It is time to search out the truth in other forms — truth that’s just waiting for you to discover it.

[beansandbs]

Mindfulness at Christmas

“Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat, please put a penny in the old man’s hat.  If you haven’t got a penny then a ha’penny will do, if you haven’t got a ha’penny then God bless you”

The lyrics to this Christmas Carol, sung most memorably by Miss Piggy, always run through my head during the holiday season.  For most of us Christmas and Thanksgiving are joyous occasions filled with food and gifts.  For others it is an even more stressful time as they struggle to make ends meet and provide happy holidays for their families.

In Maine 1 in 4 children under the age of 5 are living in poverty, and 19.5% of children under the age of 18 fell into the same category.  These children for the most part will not be having Merry Christmases.  Beyond the fact that there will be little money for toys, the 2-week vacation from school will also mean that they go hungry more, as the subsided breakfast and lunch that they rely on will not be available.

There are a myriad of reasons why children live in poverty, each of them more sad than last.  One of the most difficult groups to reconcile is the children of working parents who live in poverty.  Just this last week a Wal-Mart in Ohio had a food drive, for their own workers!  Wal-Mart, whose owners in 2011 had the same net worth as the bottom 30% of American families combined, refuses to see the economic reality of their policies.  Each Supercenter costs the American taxpayers up to $900,000 a year in government subsidies: food stamps, subsidized housing and Medicare.

Can you imagine if Wal-Mart changed their policies and started paying a living wage to employees and for their health care?   Is it possible that any of the Walton family would ever have a Scrooge moment and realize that living with that much wealth and not sharing it is a terrible way to live?  Given the same wealth and position I would be like Oprah, going from store to store and personally giving raises and bonuses.

So many of us find it in our hearts to be extra charitable to others during the holiday season, whether it’s donations to Food Pantry’s or donating to Toys for Tots.  I do not buy these things from the big box stores as likely whatever you are buying could very well end up under the tree of the cashier that rang it up.  It is time for America to stand up for the working poor.  I, personally, have boycotted Wal-Mart for the last 3 years, and will continue to do so until their employment policies change.

Enjoy this holiday season, mindfully.  Your choices can change the world.  As for Bruce's Burritos, we will donate 10% of our gift card sales, up to a $1000, through December 20th to The Gray Food Pantry.

[beansandbs]

Meeting Doug Stanhope

This is an article that I wrote for The Bollard, a free newspaper out of Portland, Maine.  To be absolutely truthful I pay to publish there as I am a restaurant co-owner with a dream of being a writer.  So, I write what we call advertorials and over the years I have published pieces that some people would say are detrimental to my business, but there has never been problem even when I wrote about gay marriage.  A couple of days after I published this piece Stanhope's podcast about his tour came out, in which he really lambasted Maine.  I found it funny and hope that any of my customers that read the piece and then checked out the podcast did as well.  

The Tweet That Worked

I really enjoy Twitter. I get all my news and a lot of my chuckles from there. When someone I follow on Twitter is going to be in Maine, I will tweet at them and invite them to come in for a burrito. Sometimes they are famous and sometimes they are just random folk. It has never worked and barely ever gets a response, but optimistically I keep trying. When Mario Batali was in town this summer I tweeted at him. I’ve also tweeted at Andrew Zimmern when I know he’s in Maine. To no avail.

My efforts finally paid off this week and I learned from it that I’m a big dork when it comes to meeting famous folks. I’d recently started listening to Doug Stanhope’s podcast, amazing stories told by real people who have lived varied and interesting lives. When you listen to podcasts you are looking into a window of other people’s reality. You learn a lot about the host, as well as the guests. With Doug’s podcast I’ve learned about the bar staff at the most famous bar in Alaska, Chilkcoot Charlie’s, listened to a man confronting the pedophile that ruined his life, and to a single mom who had to sell pot to support her kids.     

Doug is a great comedian, podcaster and writer, with a dark sense of humor that I really appreciate. I knew he was performing in Portland on Monday night and headed to Bangor on Tuesday, so I tweeted at him, telling him I needed to feed him and to stop in at @BrucesBurritos1 in Yarmouth.

When he actually showed up I was shocked. I didn’t really believe it could be him. Even though he and his entourage of three — his wife Bingo, fellow comedian Junior Stopka and, I think, Brian Hennigan — look like Merry Pranksters, seeing someone in person is so different than seeing them on TV. I listened closely to his voice, which is quite distinctive on stage and on podcasts, and still wasn’t positive. I was totally flustered, torn about asking if it was really he, when he laid down his credit card and I could clearly see his name printed on it. I offered to buy his lunch as well his compatriots’, but he insisted that the offer was enough, and left a more than 50% tip. The recognition he was here set off a whole string of action, with people going to the car to get a poster and a shot glass, and posing for pictures. The entire time I was shaking with nerves.

They ate quickly (Bingo, who is a wonderfully beautiful and eccentric woman, declined to eat). They all seemed to enjoy their food and the kids’ art on the walls. I forced brownies upon them for their road trip and they tumbled out of the restaurant, leaving me with the reflected glow of having met someone I really admire. Doug even tweeted: “Great hangover burritos in Yarmouth Maine at @BrucesBurritos1 f’in awesome!”

There aren’t a lot of celebrities who would take the time in the middle of a stressful, tightly packed tour to go out of their way to meet a fan. It speaks volumes about his character that Doug did. As Doug said on his June 2nd podcast, “After 23 years of comedy I don’t remember a thing in my life other than constantly being in the circle of the road.” Hey, Doug, after seven-and-a-half years running a restaurant, there aren’t a lot of days that stand out, but Tuesday, October 22, 2013, will always be one of my favorites.