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Amazing!

Simblreen Treats 2020 🎃

Here are all the treats I made for Simblreen this year! Because it’s a lot of sims and a ton of cc to list I won’t be posting them publicly so be sure to grab them while you can!

THURSDAY (oct. 22) - ELVIRA FRIDAY (oct. 23) - LYDIA DEETZ + SADAKO (horror tw)  SATURDAY (oct 24 ) - VAMPIRA + MARILYN MUNSTER  SUNDAY (oct. 25) - NANCY DOWNS + ANNIE WILKES

THURSDAY (oct. 29) - REGAN MACNEIL (horror tw) FRIDAY (oct. 30) - MORTICIA ADDAMS + RED HALLOWE’EN (oct. 31) - WEDNESDAY ADDAMS + WINIFRED SANDERSON + SALLY (bonus treat)

Enjoy & Happy Simming 🖤

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Life.

Can I just rant for a moment? I am Highly Emotional (due to a few Hormonal Imbalances and Mental Health issues) and considered by medical standards Obese. 

Now that this is established, why is it so difficult for doctors to understand that I am aware of what body I am living in, and I am not coming to them for an evaluation of weight loss or emotional stability. When I go into a OBGYN office and I request to be seen for dangerous and concerning issues they write me off as either mentally unstable, "Crazy" or just "fat"? 

I have developed over the years an eating disorder, emotional trauma, and an avoidance for getting medical treatment due to the constant theme of being told I'm crazy or just fat. While I am aware that being "obese" and "overweight" comes with it's own set of medical problems, is it not a doctor's responsibility and job to care for a patient without this lack of regard? I also am unable to see a therapist for my mental instability due to the lack of coverage from my medical and inability to pay out of pocket, so this makes it difficult to care for myself in this way as well.

I am at the point where I am so fearful of ever talking to a doctor, especially a specialist, about my health because of this constant brush off. I have been looking and recommended for weight loss surgery for my health, but due to my medical I currently have I am not considered Obese enough to have weight loss surgery or even start the process. I also can not afford to pay for the process out of pocket. I've lost a lot of respect and trust in doctors, especially doctors in Skagit County, WA as a whole. I am extremely tired emotionally, mentally, and physically. I am just done...

-Rant over

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I'm lost.

Recently, we were told we we're making too much to live in the apartment we have been in for 6 years. This is all fine and dandy but when it comes to finding a new place to live well we are kind of fucked. We have enough money to get into a place a much as $1,200.00 a month only issue is most rentals are through a rental agency and from the looks of it, we need at least a 600 credit score and no room to budge but when you are trying to repair your credit, this is impossible.

We have come to the conclusion we are living in our van or couch surfing until we can save enough for a down payment on a house or my credit gets better. I find it disturbing that when you try and improve your life its at the cost of something's else.

When does it ever get better? I am tired of feeling like I have to choose between my ability to survive and death. I just can't fathom the fact when you try and do better for yourself that it seems to be a step backwards not forwards. I am so lost it's not funny.

That being said any tips for being homeless in a van? Any help would be appreciated.

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Feeling this a bit too much

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I am outraged!

I am angry at the United States, the very country at one point said....

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

It’s on our statue of Liberty in New York....If you cant uphold this, why even have it standing? False advertisements.

I am angered by the fact that there are people who can watch others suffer and act like everything is okay. I am NOT okay with this monstrosity that is our president or anyone who agrees with how he is treating immigrants. 

I am also angry by the fact that I don’t know how to help/advocate for these families. I have been having anxiety attacks thinking about the mental torture these children and parents are having to endure. If you know anything about psychology, it is said that  “Separating a parent and child can also have profoundly negative effects. Even when it is necessary, research indicates that removing children from their homes interferes with their development. The more traumatic the separation, the more likely there will be significant negative developmental consequences.” 

this is been stated by many  according to Social workers and psychologist.

Set aside for a moment color of skin....

Close your eyes.

Imagine being in a big supermarket and your child wanders off from you, you look all over the store and you can’t find them. After a bit of searching, you panic and you begin to overthink and fear overcomes you.....

But it’s all okay because a friendly store employee has since found your child and a code Adam has been called, YOU have that luxury... 

There are parents and children alike going through this suffering. The anxiety and fear. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?! Where has any sense of humanity gone? I Don’t see how anyone, especially somone with kids can just say it’s okay or even mock at the situation...….

I am so lost on what to do.....

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I love this song

It all makes too much sense.

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Trauma Art

I am starting a project that I am hoping will help me and maybe others heal from sexual abuse. I am sorry if these are sensitive to some this is how I am choosing to cope with what happened. 

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Another movie script dream.....

The night before last I had a dream that could be made into a movie. 

It started where Corporations had become like Mega Churches and then people who lives outside of the “Corporations” rules so essentially corporations vs. the little guy.

Well In this dream I was Will Smith and I was an ex employee of this corporation and living on the outskirts of this metropolis and I had to go into the city that was run by these corporations to meet with this guy about a plan to take them down but they had gotten to him and corrupted him. He had a giant Furless kangaroo rat with him; this is somthing they used on people who weren’t following their message and I, will smith, was chased through a field by this huge Kangaroo rat.

I escaped back to the out skirts of town where me and my best friend, My real life husband went and got Chinese food and the guy at the counter tried to charge us monthly for flattened out fortune cookies broken up onto a tortilla which tasted like desert pizza, and I said I wont be a slave to your money loitering, and we went back to our shack and ate what food we did barter for, bartering system in place, and he had no clue or recognition of any of these things happening due to medicines they were feeding all the outskirters’. I had never taken the meds because of being an ex employee of the corporation and then the dream was over. 

I have no idea where these generate from but kudos brain LOL

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Feel trapped....

I have been living in this nightmare where I feel trapped as a man in a females body. I know, I am crazy right? This is a very real thing for me. I have been feeling this way since I was in my early age and I am just now able to admit that I don’t “feel” like a woman and I never have. I want to be a guy, I want to identify as male. 

I will slowly be transferring my identity over in the next coming years to Dometri. I don’t want to be Stacy anymore, I haven't for sometime. I already know that some of my friends and family aren’t going to be as accepting of this or accepting at all and so be it but this is what I want and its either accept it or i continue to torment myself with an identity that only pleases everyone else.

This wont be an instant thing but I will eventually be migrating towards a more “masculine” identity. What I need in my life are people willing to support and honor this request as I become this “new” me.  I will start by changing how I dress and my appearance, I may not ever be able to afford a full transition but I will be doing what I can to be what every bit of my internal is telling me I want to be. 

I can only be so thankful my husband is willing to be so able to accept this change I am going through and no matter what still be my best friend. I hope people can be willing to look past that and just accept me.

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Smoke and Smolder

A very winter based piece. Gimp hand drawn, no reference pic.

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Sociopathic Tendencies

I made an art piece...it’s been a while.

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“you’ve changed”

I lost count on the people who have said this to me. Yes I decided to take control of my life and stop being what I think everyone else wants me to be. For the longest time I just did whatever anybody said I should, I didn’t know who I was and was still trying to figure that out. I found out that I never really knew who I was and I let people mold me into something I wasn’t because I was too scared to tell them to stop. I didn't want to lose the only people that were giving me attention. I craved attention because I felt so alone a good chunk of my life, and it left me a dry empty husk. I was raised as a Christian/Baptist and I NEVER felt normal In this in fact I felt more isolated. I have always walked on the darker side of life because I have found it’s 10 X more understanding and welcoming. I was raised illiterate, and on medications because no one really cared to bother. Now that I am 30 and just now in the last few years finding out who I am everyone is calling me fake and not willing to accept me. I don’t miss that old version of me, in fact I am Happier and feel free since I’ve been finding out who I am.  I am exploring religions and I border a few of them, and It hasn’t hurt me. I Am loving exploring Wicca. Why can’t people just accept this fact? I am bisexual, I have felt this way since I was 12 and I support LGBT to the fullest extent. This is something I could not really display before because I was to scared again of being tossed aside when I needed human contact most.  I have Trauma induced PTSDID ( Post traumatic Stress Dissociative Identity disorder) I have been sexually deviated and I am still trying to overcome all of these feelings from those events in my life. I can say I am proud. I have my own place, I am married, and I am a talented artist. Art which I've been told means I am possessed by Satan. It’s hard to be possessed by something you don't believe in.   I am a democrat and I am okay with this, I don’t care if you like this. I have been hiding this since before I can remember. I believe humans have a right to survive and provide for their families and do what they want in the privacy of their own lives as long as it’s not at the harm of another person. I voted for Hilary In the last election because I agreed with her policies and I don't care how you feel about that.  Has being all these things stopped my life? No, I graduated from college twice. I have held jobs, and still maintain some friends. I got my drivers license and I drive all the times. I am doing my Art more. I am working on getting a job in medical coding and billing, I married my best friend. I think I am doing good in my life. I gained a family (his) that actually supports me and what I want especially him, which I can say no EX has given me. I love him and no he hasn’t “brainwashed” me he’s just given me what no one else has.. freedom to be myself and heal from the trauma I have endured throughout my life and has helped me grow. So when you say I have changed, Yes I have changed..I’ve grown I have healed, I have improved and I did it because I wanted to find out who I was and know who I was. I have become someone who knows who they are ad want to strive for. Goals...I have those. I am so fucking proud of myself and back then I would of rather of died and I really felt like no one would of cared and now I realize how ignorant and oblivious I was. I can be happy now, just let me be happy and if you can’t support this, walk away. I will continue to heal and thrive, Never again will I let people rule me. I rule me. I fight for me and No one will have the control again.

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Where along the lines did we get lost?

           I am starting to realize the world that we live in is not safe. I, as an American citizen, have realized a trend in the last few years that makes my stomach wrench to the point of exhaustion. Watching our president tweet, insult, encourage; racism, fascism, self importance, hate among a few things. What has Mr. president done to combat these behaviors? 

        lets speak about how he picks and chooses who he attacks.

Psychologically, I don’t see how he is even eligible to runs as president let alone be president.

He calls people “sons of bitches” but people who are actually displaying behaviors fitting of that title to be “great”.

He makes disgusting comments about woman but claims to “respect them”.

He tweets ridiculous and dangerous tweets that can actually harm the American people.

He places blame on others, Obama and Hillary.

I think our president should be evaluated for, Narcissistic personality disorder, Symptoms which include;

Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance (daily he speaks of how great he is and how he is doing so well)

Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it (when people don’t recognize when he does something he gets angry and tweets about it)

Exaggerating your achievements and talents (he is constantly speaking about how he is making America great again and that he's a good business man)

Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate (he degrades woman and boast about how smart, rich, and great his success as a business man is)

Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people (he already has set a bar of who he thinks a person is, for example he does not think Mexicans and people of color are people)

Requiring constant admiration (he must have your attention constantly, example twitter)

Having a sense of entitlement (do I even need to comment here?)

Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations (mother Russia?)

Taking advantage of others to get what you want (or shifting blame onto others to make yourself look good)

Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others (he doesn’t care about people in crisis as long as he's not hurt)

Being envious of others and believing others envy you (he has spoken many times about how people wish they could be him)

Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner. (check twitter)

Do you really believe that You aren't just as mentally ill as he is if you continue to be an enabler? Stop assuming this man is great, he never will be. 

There is nothing GREAT about this man. Stop diluting your self worth and grow up, because we don’t need this if we ever want to be a united state ever again.

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Spring is the fucking greatest

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It's chronically frustrating.....

Today is a bad day. Its one of those days where you wish you could die rather than live. I wake up every morning wondering if i move just a little to far to the left if im not going to be able to even move after that, the pain to me feels like i'm drowing but in a vat of lava. I want to hurt anything and everything that makes me move. I constantly step a certain way, making sure every move is tactical. I have been to the doctors on multiple occasions and all they suggest is physical therapy I am at the point where physical therapy is saying dont refer her to us because we cant help her. I get told by the doctors to lose weight, i drop 17 lbs, but its not the 190 they want me to. The pain is affecting me mentally on top of dealing with not wanting to eat, well that might make me fat and im less close to a surgery they wont do. I exercise. I go to the gym, i am eating better than i have in years despite the days im too scared to eat. I cant drop the weight, i am pulling at psychological straws that arent doing anything but putting me in a bad place. Im angry. Im depressed. Ive contemplated suicide recently...and i hate pain meds all they do is make me ill and i dont take them hardly ever. I needed to vent because im losing it....MAYBE I can get some rest but chances are im fucked. Pissed.

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