battingchaos

[battingchaos]

Trailblazer + different paths

[battingchaos]

“Do you ship...” Buddy I will ship almost anything if I think about it too long. I love love and situations

[battingchaos]

on top of journaling (and fanfiction), stelle writes poetry and song lyrics. they're definitely not anything . . . of pure beauty or anything, but she will write them for partners, definitely. she'll even recite them or sing them to them. she gets very embarrassed about it, but it's her favorite way to express her feelings towards someone. aside from doing the metal work, jewelry crafting. it's just another little way she shows she cares about someone. she doesn't hide her notebooks on the express well either so odds are the crew members can find her work and snoop in it. luckily, it's not very often stelle gets shy, the writing though? she's new to it and it does make her blush when others see it!

[battingchaos]

"Truthfully? I find love confusing. Not just in theory, but in practice too. Whether it's someone I love as a friend, or a crush that drives me insane. I always feel like my emotions spill out onto the floor, and when I try to mop them up? They smear all over, and stain. I don't know how to handle it, I don't know if I'm really in love, and I never know if I'm even someone another human being could love. I hate thinking about it, and I hate having a crush on someone. I'd rather have my head cracked open like a walnut . . . Sorry what was your question?"

[battingchaos]

Gender of the day:

Insomnia

[battingchaos]

It's always quite hard for Stelle to discern how Dan Heng feels, with March, she often wore her emotions on her sleeve. Stelle? Well. She prefers to express herself when she's happy, but she knows she is guilty of repressing the negative ones. She wonders at times if his emotions bordered more negatively, more often, maybe it was why he kept to himself. The presentation of the stoic fellow that she's gotten to know, how much could she truly claim to know, now that she's thought about it?

Pondering expression comes to tug at her features now ━ while his offer is generous, and she's happy that he trusts her. She isn't sure how to navigate something that could bring about such a difficult conversation. Fingers tickled at her chin for a few moments, yellow orbs focusing on a very specific tile upon the floor for a long time before she meets his gaze, gathering her thoughts and knowing the most important thing she wants to know.

" . . . Is it ━ hard for you that I know about your past now?" Stelle couldn't quite grasp all of the details, but she states her question with genuine concern for him. Head tilting in curious manner. But it's also obvious to her that he wanted nothing more than to escape all of that, and she wonders if it'd be better if she didn't pry. "I just, I know you don't like being put on the spot." As much as Stelle would tease, and carry on along with March about silly matters? This isn't something she can laugh away.

His comfort and his happiness matter more to her. And she hopes he knows that even if he never spoke of these matters ever again, she'd care without bias.

Acknowledging his past had often felt like a demand, a legacy passed from one incarnation to the next without regard for its next vessel. Not all of them were loud, inherently violent by nature, some were quiet, not because they were reluctant but because they respected the person he had chosen to become. When Dan Heng regarded his past it had initially been cautiously, for the imbibitor lunae who came before him was both revered and formidable. Knowing that those who had held him captive acted with rectitude did not mitigate the years he had forfeited to the shackling prison. It wasn’t his comeuppance to pay, Dan Feng’s glacial apathy had stared back at him as he waded hopelessly through the depths of those fragmented memories. He wants to talk to her about it, that was the simplest form of that desire, not only to acknowledge them himself but have someone he felt close to also acknowledge it and not flinch. Dan Heng wonders how long he had thought this way, when things had begun to change for him. Eluding Dan Feng’s shadow had felt as difficult as circumventing collisions with the Stellaron Hunter Blade, now, he is no longer retreating from it.

“ I trust you.” It is an earnest response, his gaze however seems moored amongst the stars, staring out of one of the express’s large windows. “ It’s just not something that I could speak about before, not.” he hesitates, his gaze eventually returning to her. He wonders if she senses his reluctance, that after spending so much time dedicated to not speaking about it that saying it aloud required unyielding determination. “ It is.” Dan Heng chooses to confirm it rather than admitting his reasoning, because there is no exigent demand for it, no distance imposed between them out of an enduring respect. It is just the two of them and the quiet passage of time as it moves alongside the silver-rail. “ If you have questions, I’ll answer them.” he offers, before continuing. “... I believe that’s the easiest way to talk about it.” 

[battingchaos]

!

you startled her! she will now be smashing your face in with a baseball bat

[battingchaos]

@reallyrandomtj sent: 💟 Don't mind Meilu walking up behind Stelle and giving a 'motherly hug' from behind and a whisper of "You need rest. You are welcome to rest with me. I've heard my tail gives nice warm hugs." She giggles softly. / prompt / accepting.

Stelle relaxed almost immediately at Meilu's touch. The warmth, and comfort is much welcomed. It was quite hard to rest well on her own . . . though the Trailblazer did not like to admit it. She holds onto the other's arms and nods softly. "Hey, I'd never turn down someone to keep my company while I get some sleep. If it helps, I'm pretty warm." The Stellaron always kept Stelle feeling a bit warmer than most, the thought of adding to that with a warm tail to snuggle with? It was all the merrier! Calm smile rested upon her lips.

" . . . You sure I'm not taking you away from anything important?" Stelle couldn't bear to be a burden on her, after-all it always sounded so silly asking others to keep her company when she slept. But Aeons it helped with the nightmares, sometimes she couldn't even consider getting a good rest without someone there. Sometimes, she's afraid to even try.

[battingchaos]

What symbol would I assign you?

The sun

So bright, full of energy a mix of passion and the ever spilling energy. Although what lies beneath the surface is guilt, doubt, and many worries. But do not fret little sun, for each day is a new chance to shine

tagged by: @yuhyeol tagging: @poswiecenia , @altarfates , @kafkaisms , @foxlich , @talesforged + yoink this if you haven't done it yet and want to (but tag me so I can see? owo)

[battingchaos]

It's such a bizarre experience, in the best possible way! Being somewhere so fresh and new, Stelle'd be lying if she said she didn't miss a thing or two he said. Yellow orbs too busy scanning over her new surroundings, once her workload had been completed, Stelle was determined to explore Inazuma to it's fullest. A threat to the land itself, well . . . A mild one, she'd only been out of ━ oh? "Mondstadt's my home, raised there anyway. My pops took me in as a retired knight in Mondstadt, so I've never known anyplace different really.!~" Stated in a cheerful little quip.

Barely a second thought as she accepts the offered hand. Like a curious little kitten, Stelle would be far too tempted to wander off otherwise!

"I doubt too much has changed, but . . . Since you're going to show me around Inazuma, I'd be more than happy to return the favor one day." Pausing, attempt at keeping her focus upon the conversation rather than the scenery, maybe Tohma made it a little easier. She loves his energy, it makes her feel, welcome, relaxed. " . . . Well with Mondstadt and Liyue at least, I've trudged the roads between them more times than I can count." A flash of yellow to her companion.

"I like your home, by the way. From what I've seen, it might be different from what I'm used to . . . But to tell you the truth, it's part of why I volunteered to make such a long work-trip. Being in the knights, I don't usually get to go out this far, and I'm hoping to come back, so maybe you can help me find reasons to do so. I intend to make the best out of my few days here though, and you can guide me around as much as you like." Pausing she smiled once again, he made it too easy. Short squeeze of his hand now.

"A tour, and a bite to eat tonight? I wouldn't mind trying the local cuisine."

     a slight intermission that follows the blink of hues:     once,     twice,     thrice     ——     the words momentarily fall on deaf ears,     facial expression vaguely taken aback.     ah     [   . . .   ]     hook,     line     &     sinker,     perhaps his charm had worked a bit too well,     enough for the suggestion of a detour to come to light.     any time else     &     he’d chalk it up to someone eager to dispose of formalities     &     impatient to stir up a relationship less professional in its approach     &     perhaps that is the case of such a desire to set afoot with him     &     take in the landmarks     ——     but he’s always been astute at reading people,     both in body language     &     picking up on implications between the lines of words spoken out loud     /     so he senses it,     picks up on something besides that,     that she has yet to convey via word of mouth.     (     she’s easy to read,     it’s hardly a difficult feat,     if he must be entirely honest.     )     ❝     your wish is my command,     i’d like to show you a place or two around here while i have you,     i’m all yours for today.     ❞     words punctuated with a dramatic bow,     a snicker of a laugh that falls freely from mouth     &     the ever pleased return of boyish grin.     truthfully,     he has not much else to do,     no other activities to partake in     &     he’d left the estate spotless before his eventful escape from his quarters     ——     when he utters that he belongs to her,     for the remainder of the sun’s time in the sky,     he means it.     &     what better way to use up the duration of his free time than to show a newcomer the wonders of the nation he’s called home?     (     perhaps he could coax her into taking a stray animal or two,     if he plays his cards right.     )

     with the exhale of a pleased sigh a hand is offered,     whether she decides to take it or not is a decision he has allowed her to make on her own.

     ❝     it’s easy to get lost,     it’d be best if you held my hand.     ❞     because even though it’s meant to be a cheeky performance there are still actual threats wandering the depths of the multitude of forests littering the expanse of the land     ——     from yokai to territorial animals,     to treasure hoarders,     samurai     &     the like:     menacing     &     vicious.     he can handle them on his own,     he’s well aware of his tact     &     ability to defend,     though he’d much rather they not be separated     ——     no knowledge of her abilities nor her prowess,     better to be safe than sorry,     even if she could hold her own ‘gainst an enemy.     (     it’s unlikely that she’s ever met opponents this prone to be on the offensive     ——     she had said it’s her first time stepping foot on the land,     after all.     he’d prefer not to take his chances.     )     ❝     this place has been my home just shy of fourteen years now.     ❞     nearly half his life     ——     a minute pause is taken in order to ponder such a concept now that it’s been spoken into existence     /     fourteen years that he has never set foot outside of inazuma.     over a decade.      ❝     i’m from mondstadt,     originally,     haven’t been there since i got here.     i can leave at any point now,     i’ve been given permission but     [   . . .   ]     there’s nothing to go back to anymore.     i like it here.     ❞     he’s already uprooted the entirety of his life     &     planted it here,     like the seed of a giant oak     ——     nurtured it with all the love     &     care in the world.     ❝     it’d be nice to visit one day,     just to see how different things are.     i’d like to see liyue too,     and maybe fontaine.     ❞    

[battingchaos]

@talesforged sent: “Stelle~” comes a cheerful drawl as March slips into her room. “Happy Valentine’s Day!” She all but pushes a photo album, accompanied by a small white box on top, into Stelle’s hands. The album is black with yellow accents to match the trailblazer’s signature colors. Personally, March thinks she could use some more color in her life, but she fixed that with her scrapbooking inside. “It's a photo album. I put together pictures of our best times together. Oh, and this is a fruit tart,” she taps the small box. “Hope you like it!”

Stelle's not 100% sure why, but she kind of wants to cry. In the happy way! Alas, she bites back any tears and meets March's glance with a wide smile instead. "You know me so well, Miss March.~" Stelle chuckled some, and gave a bow of her head in a silly manner. It filled her heart with so much joy, flipping the album open and reacting to the photos along-side her favorite pink haired companion. "You're really such a skilled photographer, you know? You just keep getting better. I'm never gonna lose this. Promise."

Hands carefully set the album upon her desk, and she reaches into it to pull something wrapped out. A cute little pink and white card attached by a ribbon to it. "Here, I uhm." A short flush to her cheeks. "It's not much, but I actually am making you something too ━ but afraid it'll need a little more time." In the box though is a cozy set of valentine themed pajamas, t shirt and fuzzy pants with hearts. The rose-gold locket Stelle wanted to give her for today would have to wait, it wasn't quite ready, and it needed to be absolutely perfect. "Happy Valentine's day, ice princess." She hopes the little soft peck to March's cheek would make up for the other half of her present being delayed.

[battingchaos]

"Ugh. I think I swung too hard today . . ." Sure the enemies had fallen, but catch Stelle rotating her arm in a slow circular motion and stretching it out with a wince. "Ow . . . This is Hell."

[battingchaos]

you should come within biting range. no reason

[battingchaos]

soft & warm, freshly bathed stelle. smelling like japanese cherry blossoms & vanilla-almond. silky smooth skin. perfect for holding in bed and falling asleep cuddled up with. just saying. a hot bath is the fastest way to calm stelle's nerves, and also get her into a cuddly, tired mood. particularly if she has a partner willing to gently wash her hair for her. nothing in the world could make her feel safer and more relaxed. it's the most comfort she can possibly ask for.

[battingchaos]

🐝  *  ―  𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 / 𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  i can't stop thinking about you even when i try.  ❜ ❛  every time i see you, it's like my heart skips a beat.  ❜ ❛  i never realized how much i needed you until you weren't there.  ❜ ❛  do you ever feel like there's something missing ... like a piece of your heart is somewhere else?  ❜ ❛  i wish i had the courage to tell you how i feel.  ❜ ❛  if only you knew how much you truly mean to me.  ❜ ❛  do you ever wonder what it would be like if things were different between us?  ❜ ❛  sometimes i wonder if you ever think about me the way i think about you.  ❜ ❛  i had a lot of dreams about you recently.  ❜ ❛  somehow, you're always on my mind.  ❜ ❛  i think i've been in love with you since the day we met - scratch that, i know i've been in love with you since the day we met.  ❜ ❛  my biggest wish is to hold you close and never let you go.  ❜ ❛  all my life i've felt like a part of me was missing, but with you i've finally found it.  ❜ ❛  you deserve better than who i am right now, but i'm gonna keep trying to become someone you do deserve.  ❜ ❛  every time you smile at me, i get this flutter in my chest.  ❜ ❛  do you think i'll ever be worthy of your love?  ❜ ❛  i want to be the person to make you happy. the one person you can always come to with whatever you need.  ❜ ❛  will we ever get another chance together?  ❜ ❛  you were the best thing that's ever happened to me.  ❜ ❛  my biggest regret is ever letting you go.  ❜ ❛  i'm still in love with you ... and i honestly never stopped.  ❜ ❛  when i wake up in the morning, you're the first person i want to see.  ❜ ❛  every time i wake up, i check if you wrote me another message.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could be as important to you as you are to me.  ❜ ❛  it hurts when you don't talk to me like you used to.  ❜ ❛  i miss everything about you, your touch, your laugh, your smile. i wish i could have that back.  ❜ ❛  i want to fall asleep wrapped in your arms.  ❜ ❛  hold me closer; i always feel safer when you're with me.  ❜ ❛  there's so much i wish i was able to tell you.  ❜ ❛  i know things aren't easy right now, but i want to remain a fixture in your life. after all, you're one in mine.  ❜ ❛  i miss the way you always made me smile.  ❜ ❛  you're the reason i keep holding on.  ❜ ❛  maybe we're supposed so to remain a case of 'right person, wrong time' forever.  ❜ ❛  if only you knew how i feel about you.  ❜ ❛  i'm yearning to hold your hand in mine.  ❜ ❛  i think you are the one for me, and i hope one day i'll be the one for you, too.  ❜ ❛  do you think i'll ever become more than a friend to you?  ❜ ❛  my heart belongs to you, always and forever.  ❜ ❛  my first instinct is to protect you, no matter the cost.  ❜ ❛  i've been thinking about us a lot lately.  ❜

[battingchaos]

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

[battingchaos]

"I know." A blunt, quick answer. Reckless. The word hurts her ━ because it is never intentional. But it's always inevitable. " . . . Can you do me a favor, and like, not tell the others about this?" Stelle sandwiches Spencer's hand between her own, yellow eyes pleading up to them this time. "I'll be fine by the time we get back, I can't have them worrying again."

❝ th' stellaron in ya' increases yer regeneration factor. ❞ deep & heavy sigh followed the matter of fact statement. no recoil from the touch, though slit pupils stare — calculating. ❝ i wish y' would stop bein' so damn reckless, darlin'. ❞