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It's pretty random but here's my headcanon about their bodies

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HORNY.

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warmup

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Unlike his granddaughter, Hashirama was an absolute demon that destroys every gamble he played , terrorized anyone who plays with him, and was - suprisingly unlike appearances, the richest man in the village aside from the most powerful.

Tobirama was hashiramas sugar baby, was the real village leader for years before he actually took the hat. They actually dont work like a "leader" and "advisor" or shadow hokage" , tobirama actually worked full time and Hashirama was a stay at home brotherhusband who pampered and ravished him. (And if those words mean anything, hashirama was the advisor and shadow hokage)

Hashirama stays home with his trees and bonsais, cooks big meals for his brother (which he SAD about bc tobirama only likes fish) , makes him mokuton bookshelves and gifts, buys him the best quality armors and outfits and steel happuris. The neck fluff that remain pristine even as edo tensei costs mountains and buildings.

At night he also provides the best sex

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Tobirama

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Belief

Just some old anthology illustrations

Betrayal

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i dont think tobirama ever conceptualized what Hashirama felt and what he himself did the way hashirama did even as edo,

but its aparrent that hashirama regards him as wife - a Japanese wife, as in one with him, and Tobirama acts like that without knowing. You can see it in text (not even subtext) in canon. Its both cute and sad. 'you kids learn the will of life lol' "kids that are like anija are good kids"

and Hashirama was weird himself…in which he doesnt conceptualize love the conventional way either

he shows it with actions and private gestures

even the "kids" act like that…hiruzen said "we follow shodai-sama's ideals and his village" "it was shodai's forbidden scroll"

when Hashirama said "my AND Madaras village" and then "my village", fans had said its weird that we would find out tobirama built that whole shit later . Why wasnt he included or credited. And misunderstood hashi as terrible brother

Me : bc Hashirama treated him…as a part of himself. He belongs to him already.

"My AND Madara's" bc Madara is bro/friend and is his own person

I don’t think Hashi…noticed he was doing that

Or better said he doesn’t realize how it appears to others because it’s such a fact of life for him

It was easier when they were just in their clan as eldest and younger brother. Theres a clearer … definition of superior and inferior, younger siblings might as well be elders subordinates, so what's difference to wife, which neither cared much anyway they were close and comfortable w each other.

So this tendency of tobirama just doing and saying what he wants and needs to in his self assigned mission for the village/people continues into his hokageship where theres no longer that distinction in real time. And whenever theres disagreement, hashi no longer realized how it would look to others if he showed his objection or said no with violence

he has control problems lol

all over the place

But the…public dismissal makes all sense from OLD SCHOOL cultural standpoint

wife should be seen and not heard, bound as one with hubby

this is a shifting era too

he might have resent that tobirama couldnt JUST be a good natured obedient brother if not wife

he couldnt…compute Tobirama being wife AND a new era leader, because and just like he couldnt lead the new era world he himself created

Theres also worrying his head off about Tobiramas disability and ,when he was alive, illness. and letting the messy feelings get over him

Whats more Tobirama too autistic to point out whats wrong about it and just resigned used to it. It continued for years straight into edo.

It came natural for him that tobirama is a part of himself, everything thats his is Tobiramas bc tobirama is his. nobody wants to think hes a bad brother to tobirama, bc its WEIRD the way he skewered or dismissed him only in public lol

Turns out he was technically one.

Hes a good husband lol

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Drunk

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Ok im bored and ran out of good content so fuck it lets do this. Decided not to publicize it for so long bc its difficult.

This is my boldest and most prized contribution to this cursed fandom, as well as my dearest tribute to Tobirama, the best political character ive ever read in fiction, and his anija.

warning - this might not be for people with too heavy leaning on anti-konoha, anti-Hashirama sentiments or ships that's not hashimito or tobirama/konoha, or take the timings and numbers of the databook too seriously.

Hashirama is vaguely hinted to canonically have retired as Shodai years earlier, then married Mito, then lived till 10-20 years after VOTE and died in or before the 2nd War.

Tobirama died first in the 1st War. The scene where he sacrificed himself for his squad happened before the VoTE fight, not after. It's his death that signaled the End.

Hashirama losing his power/ability to lead due to possible depression and keeping a low profile (no one could know how and when the Shinobi God died because village situations, and there were sensors and trackers who could find him) is the reason why he didnt know the motive of the Police Force that Tobirama created, and also struggled with Kurama to the point he needed Mito to LEND him power, when earlier he could beat both Kurama and Madara.

Zetsu made up bullshit about Tobirama burying and letting Madara escape with a clone, based that assumption on Tobirama's reputation of creating weird jutsus involving sacrifices, most likely framing him for his surbodinates' doings, because Tobirama totally never knew Tsunade, possibly never even met Mito and dealt with a jinchuuriki, while Hashirama did both, comparing teenage Sakuras power to Tsunade's.

Zetsu also would not have been near there to know what the senju brothers did because they were both sensors that could detect him. Hashirama was the one who buried Madara.

As Onoki said this summit was to end minor conflicts, it happened right after Konoha was founded, not right before the WW. the 2nd kages looked much younger than in the VOTE/WW era. Hashirama likely had other means, more temporary and less effective, to restrain Kurama at this point (his mokuton and necklace) The databook also never said Hashirama died in which war.

Tsunade and Tobirama had no recollection of each other outside Tsunade only calling him distantly 'nidaime' since part 1 and only 'heard' about the ones who killed him.

meanwhile Hashirama was too familiar with tsunade as she with him, and familiar with the village and people, so that he could recall his memories with it despite just having seen it before he died like weve been told.

He talked like he's been through 2 wars with them.

Our second known grandkid of Hashirama was Nawaki, who was 11 years younger than Tsunade. Unless his first son has multiple children in short years which is pure fanfiction, how would he know Tsunade was his 'first' grandkid and how she would turn out 'in the end' if he died when she was this small.

Also the fact that Hashirama didnt wear Konoha headband in the VOTE fight.

But did wear it when he married Mito. Tsunade was not Mito's grand daughter.

As for how he died, its in battle, probably to a nobody mob while protecting his clan or Mitos clan (both conveniently destroyed or disappeared after hes dead). And by the time they killed him and he let them do that, i doubt they even realized or remembered they killed the First Hokage and God of Shinobi. I mean youd think whoever killed him should have been insanely famous, regardless of his power level at the time.

Tobirama said "my role as Second Hokage was to stand between and meditate between brother and Madara while protecting the village" this raised eyebrows because there would have been no one to stand between if he only became Second after Hashirama died and Madara left (forever). Meaning Hashirama was alive when Tobirama became Second, and it had been like that for a long time.

This is what a japanese fan thought of Tobirama's death

Between the two brothers, it makes more sense for the 'normal' one who invented jutsu that defied the law of nature, including

ninja nuclear bombs,

Summoning the dead and giving them infinite chakra

clones only reserved for monster chakra reserves like Naruto with Kurama in him

and a teleportation jutsu that required 5 people in place of an absolute genius like Minato to do- moderately,

rather than a powerful monster with the same annount of chakra as a bijuu AND sage mode that heals himself, to die earlier out of illness.

This is also why Hashirama would ban Tobiramas jutsu and compiled them into HIS scroll seen in the very first chapter - they literally shorten one's life.

Some more readings on which Japanese samurai characters that have been Kishimoto's references for the founders.

Oda Nobunaga - Hashirama's first concept when he was a scary rugged scarred and big nosed guy, the one who unified japan and died right after realizing the dream, but he died partly because of his brutality and crimes in life - he ACTUALLY killed his brother by blood among others of his family who betrayed him. His successor has nickname 'Saru'.

Ashikaga Takauji - Hashirama's later concept, first shogun of his era but softer big brother guy.

Ashikaga Tadayoshi - Takauji's younger brother who stepped up where he couldnt, disagreed with Takauji on politics and died 5 years before his brother did, in defeat but also there are sources that say he suffered some kind of illness before that.

Ko no Moronao - Takauji's close friend who Tadayoshi hated and was later exiled.

(Edit) More references in Japanese creation mythos involving Izanagi and Izanami, where Izanagi killed his Fire god son Kagutsuchi after Izanamis death.

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70kg is nothing to Hashirama

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....

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Au Naga🐍

Hashirama is the king and Tobirama is his secret lover

A gift for my friend

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Crossover 🌳🚪

Tobirama and Hashirama first designs look like Samurai

Sorry for some mistakes, I use Eng translator...

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My piece for @p4pzines calendar

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user @basingseee is correct and hilarious

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👅👅 turn from cute to hot really fast...