banrionchai

[banrionchai]

Ameen

Ya Allah let the death only reach me when you have forgiven my sins and are most pleased with me.

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you are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. you are here to create yourself, continuously.

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Learn the skill of delaying your response when faced with someone who is intentionally trying to provoke you. Refuse to let others dictate your mood. Take charge of your emotions. You decide when, how, and whether you want to to react. You control yourself, no one else does.

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Wow

Types of relationships that look like love but are not:

Infatuation: This is an intense emotional or sexual attraction to someone that can give the illusion of love. However, infatuation is often based on idealized perceptions rather than a deep emotional connection.

Codependency: Codependent relationships involve one person excessively relying on another for emotional or physical needs. This dependency can mimic love, but it is rooted in the need for validation, control, or a sense of purpose.

Unrequited love: This refers to a situation where one person has romantic feelings for another, but those feelings are not reciprocated. It may involve one-sided affection, longing, or an obsession with someone who does not feel the same way.

Limerence: Limerence is an intense and obsessive form of attraction characterized by intrusive thoughts, longing for reciprocation, and an idealized image of the other person. It can feel like love, but it often lacks a genuine emotional connection.

Conditional love: In relationships based on conditional love, affection and care are only given when certain conditions or expectations are met. This type of relationship lacks unconditional acceptance and can be manipulative or controlling.

Trauma bond: A trauma bond forms when two individuals share intense emotional experiences, often negative or abusive. Despite the harmful dynamics, there may be a strong attachment due to the shared trauma, leading to a mistaken perception of love.

Transactional relationships: These relationships are based on mutual benefit or convenience rather than genuine emotional connection. Partners may stay together for financial security, social status, or other practical reasons, rather than genuine love and affection.

Manipulative relationships: Manipulative relationships involve one person exerting control and power over the other through emotional manipulation, coercion, or gaslighting. The manipulator may feign love and affection to gain control or exploit their partner's vulnerabilities.

Fantasy relationships: In fantasy relationships, one or both partners create an idealized version of the other person, often based on unrealistic expectations or fantasies. The relationship may lack a true emotional connection, as it is based on the person's fantasy rather than the reality of who their partner is.

One-sided relationships: These relationships are characterized by an imbalance of effort, care, or emotional investment. One person may consistently give more while the other takes without reciprocation. It can create an illusion of love, but it lacks equality and mutual respect.

Love addiction: Love addiction refers to a compulsive or obsessive pattern of seeking out relationships and being dependent on the euphoric feeling of being in love. It can lead to a cycle of unhealthy relationships, as the person seeks constant validation and excitement without addressing underlying emotional issues.

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Heal, so you can recognize genuine relationships with pure intentions when they show up without sabotaging them.

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Water yourself, even in toxic environments. Groom yourself, even in toxic environments. Pamper yourself, even in toxic environments. We are nothing if not a sum of our habits. Don't wait to escape to start being who you deserve to be.

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listen to disabled people 💖

Digital illustration of a large group of disabled people of different ethnicities, ages, and genders. Among the crowd are service and emotional support animals. There’s two smaller protest signs that read, ‘I shouldn’t lose benefits when I get married.’ And ‘ban subminimum wage’ the main sign reads, ‘disabled people are expert of their own lives and know what they need.’

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Ladies, always have your own income and skills and do not rely on a man, it is only a bonus.

Ladies, always have your own income and skills and do not rely on a man, it is only a bonus.

Ladies, always have your own income and skills and do not rely on a man, it is only a bonus.

Ladies, always have your own income and skills and do not rely on a man, it is only a bonus.

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My biggest advice for finding a spouse is to make a top 3 deal-making qualities list and a top 3 deal-breaking qualities list and focus on those.

If you come across a person who posses the deal-making qualities and does not have the deal-breaking qualities, then give them a chance whole-heartedly.

Sometimes we look into small matters and make them a bigger issue than they are in our heads due to all the fears we have. Most of the time, our fears are rational but our output of those fears are irrational and can come in the way of good things.

This is the best way I found to limit ourselves from being confused, letting go of a good person due to our fears, or belittling a person by making small traits bigger than they really are.

Always keep in mind, nobody is perfect. Neither you, nor your spouse will be. So overlook things that really don't make much of a difference (they're messy, they're clumsy, they're not as funny, etc...these are small things, don't give them more importance than the actual important things such as their character, deen, etc.).

And of course, keep Istikhara your companion throughout!

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No one is too pious to sin. And no one is too sinful to repent.

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Should you date with your head or your heart?

When it comes to dating, it's important to strike a balance between using your head and your heart. Your heart can be a great guide in matters of love, but it's also important to use your head to ensure that you're making smart and safe decisions.

Dating with your heart means that you allow your emotions and feelings to guide you in your relationships. This can be a beautiful thing, as it allows you to connect deeply with another person and experience the joy and excitement of being in love. However, it's important to remember that emotions can sometimes cloud your judgment and make it difficult to see things objectively.

On the other hand, dating with your head means that you approach relationships with a more rational and analytical mindset. This can help you make better decisions and avoid getting hurt or taken advantage of. However, it's important not to let your head completely override your heart, as this can lead to a relationship that lacks passion and connection.

Dating with your head and dating with your heart each have their own advantages and potential outcomes.

Pros of dating with your heart:

You may feel more connected to your partner and experience stronger emotions and feelings of love.

You may be more open to taking risks and trying new things in your relationship, which can lead to more excitement and growth.

You may have a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness if you prioritize your emotional needs and desires in your relationship.

Potential outcomes of dating with your heart:

You may overlook red flags or warning signs in your relationship, which can lead to getting hurt or taken advantage of.

You may make decisions based purely on emotions, rather than considering what is best for your long-term well-being.

Your emotions may fluctuate more easily, which can lead to highs and lows in your relationship that can be difficult to manage.

Pros of dating with your head:

You may make more informed and rational decisions in your relationship, which can lead to greater stability and security.

You may be better able to set and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationship, which can help prevent issues like codependency or toxicity.

You may be more aware of red flags or warning signs in your relationship, which can help you avoid getting hurt or taken advantage of.

Potential outcomes of dating with your head:

You may miss out on the excitement and passion that comes with being in love and following your heart.

You may be more hesitant to take risks or try new things in your relationship, which can lead to a lack of growth or stagnation.

You may struggle to connect emotionally with your partner, which can lead to a lack of fulfillment or satisfaction in your relationship.

The best approach is to find a balance between your head and your heart. Listen to your intuition and emotions, but also take the time to evaluate your relationships objectively and make sure that they're healthy and fulfilling for you. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and trust yourself to make the best decisions for yourself.

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Dating apps are like “chasing man” what it is your thought about it?

Considering the underlined context that dating apps are just hook up sites, I think it’s chasing regardless of the sex. Men know women are on there and assume they’re desperate looking for love, so it’s easier access to seggs. Men can be desperate too on there chasing women. And women subconsciously overlooking red flags because they are on there looking for a man. Chasing love, attention, validation, even seggs.

I’m generalizing here as there are always exceptions.

Intention creates energy.

I don’t think you can look for love. Love comes to you. It’s a reflection of you. There’s no need to force it by going online to find the “one”. You yourself are the one you should be loving. Invest in yourself, create a life worth living, build confidence and align yourself with the things you want. People opt to dating apps because they’re not getting the results they want naturally. But that’s because they’re not doing anything about it IRL.

You can meet someone anywhere. From the gas station to the farmers market. To going to places and focusing your time on hobbies you enjoy. Or going to places where the type of person you’re looking for would go.

I don’t think any person regardless of gender should chase. But even more so women. Men are hunters by nature. Chasing is not only desperate but it makes you put someone else on a pedestal. That’s not healthy and not conducive to a potentially healthy scenario.

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Hello! Do you have tips, advices or any helpful resources on financial independence for beginners? Thankyou in advance!

Of course 💞

Generally, to gain financial independence you need to start by setting a goal. After you set a goal you need to write down your actual scenario as it currently standards. Then you brain map different strategies and actions you can take.

This is probably the easiest time to establish financial independence. It doesn’t matter if you’re 15 or 55, because of all of the tools available to us on the internet.

As a base:

Set a financial goal: Start by setting a specific financial goal that you want to achieve, such as paying off debt, saving for a down payment on a home, or building an emergency fund. Having a clear goal in mind will help you stay focused and motivated.

Create a budget: A budget is a crucial tool for achieving financial independence. Start by tracking your expenses and income, and then create a budget that allocates your income towards your financial goals and expenses. Consider using a budgeting app or spreadsheet to make this process easier.

Mint is budgeting app I use, it helps you track your expenses, set financial goals, and stay on top of your finances.

Reduce expenses: Look for ways to reduce your expenses, such as cutting back on unnecessary subscriptions or finding ways to save on utilities and groceries. This will free up more money to put towards your financial goals. Just like time, people don’t realize how much money they waste. Every bit counts and adds up. Make sure you’re investing your money on things that are absolutely needed- and not simply wasting money you can be using to make more money.

Invest for the future: investing your money in a retirement account or other long-term investment vehicle. Accounts that pay dividends. This can help you build wealth and achieve financial independence over time. This requires some capital and you should have some money saved before you consider starting.

Some authors I recommend would be:

1. Dave Ramsey: The Total Money Makeover

2. Robert Kiyosaki: Rich Dad Poor Dad. His YouTube channel is a gold mine. https://m.youtube.com/@TheRichDadChannel

3. JL Collins: The Simple Path to Wealth

4. Ramit Sethi: I Will Teach You to Be Rich

In order to achieve financial independence, it’s Important to build passive income streams. Passive income requires a smaller budget than what people may believe. If any, in some scenarios.

Passive income can be for example:

Dividend Stocks

Affiliate marketing

Selling digital products

Royalties

Real estate investing

Side hustles can also be passive income steam, and/or have the ability to replace your current main income stream.

I can give you a ton of side hustle ideas. Hundreds. That you can do using your computer. If you give me niches that interest you, I can list recommendations.

The most important aspect however, is mindset. Having a positive mindset when it comes to money and wealth. Your mindset will either drive you to take actions or hold you back. Your thoughts and beliefs about money can have a profound impact on your financial success. Learn how to develop a mindset of abundance and to think creatively about how they can increase their income and build wealth.