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Stunning.

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They should Tell everyone on both love island and survivor that a nuke blew up the Us and that they have to work together to start a new society . And then see which one becomes more warlike / Powerful

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“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up

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You should watch Arrested Development

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My sister and I were doing a puzzle with these Disney toys on it, and noticed this alien-looking character we didn't recognize.

I did some research and learned that these are "Vinylmation" toys, a sort of Munny-style base Disney gets different artists to use to create different characters.

Unfortunately, Mickey is a very specific shape, and the results are frankly horrific.

This causes problems, like the buttons on Mickey's pants often resembling strange nipples.

Also, idk if you noticed, but these look horrible. Like... really bad

If you're interested, please join me on my journey observing more of these under the cut

One issue the artist has to deal with is what to do with the Mickey ears. Some get lucky and can add existing elements, like ears or hair. Some make them into the eyes, or just add some thematic BS to fill the space.

(sidenote: Lady from And the tramp fame did NOT translate well)

Other artists pretend they don't exist, painting them the same color as the hair or making them transparent.

(sidenote: using the Mickey feet as Lady Tremaine's boobs was inspired, but not sure it's worth it for that 5 head)

(sidenote2: they did Leia unbelievably so dirty here)

(sidenote3: Make Kermit's eyes on the ears again if you're just gonna paint them white??)

The other issue is when the character is not very humanoid, so they either slap a PNG on the body, or try their very best to do...something.

Btw whoever made Helen look like this instead of rotund like this Cinderella, die.

Finally, I looked up characters I knew would be difficult to translate and here are the results:

Anyway, the moral of the story is, she's a 2012 SSDC exclusive generic superhero girl, and that's why we didn't recognize her.

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whichever ad exec at Geico came up with the phrasing "up to 15% or more" needs some kind of award for concocting one of the most meaningless strings of words in the English language. all it guarantees is that the number is either lower or higher than 15%, inclusive. up to 15%... or more. a bladeless knife with no handle.

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Only cause I couldn’t stop myself, this could also help us contextualize their daughter, Ranni.

It is assumed that after Radagan’s divorce, that Ranni and her two brothers (Radahn and Rykard cause we only do “R” names in this lore) went to the capital of Lyendell. We can only really piece this together when you fight Morgott the Omen King at the capital. He walks out of the erdtree to confront the player and you see those who were at the seat of power, which included Ranni and her brothers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kzt95JK9UI.  

The crimes of Radagan (and his technical counterpart/being Marika) are numerous depending on what culture you look at in Elden Ring. For the sake of this post lets keep it to Ranni. In game and throughout her quest, Ranni is utterly opposed to the golden order. It is assumed that she may have been the catalyst for the Night of Black Knives which kills one of her own half brothers Godwin the golden and sort of starts the escalating events which lead up to the shattering of the Elden Ring. 

There is a moment in her questline where her malice spills forth. You get the feeling that when she became the doll to escape her “shadow” that this was not her ideal plan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SFYdsu_B_o. In fact, she sort of hates the player for having the power to fulfill her quest. 

It’s difficult to piece together the whole story which embodies her feelings towards the golden order or her mother for that matter. The best we can do is look at Queen Renella’s boss fight. 

After walking into her boss-fight chamber, you see a baffling sight of dolls and a very powerful mage well past the point of sanity. I do hope that the context is not to state that she simply lost her own mind because of a divorce as that would be rather regressive. With some other context, you find out that she was locked in her chamber by her own nobility. Maybe this was an underhanded attempt by Radagan to get the kids in the divorce and I could certainly see any parent going mad from that sort of experience. I’m not sure that trying to do the same sort of contextual problem solving is going to get us anywhere. What’s important to this scene and boss fight for that matter, is that Queen Renella is not the person she once was. 

After you beat her first phase, the disembodied voice of Ranni springs into the frame and stops the player from killing her mother. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ITVOJedlPo. A black ichor forms from the ceiling until it engulfs the whole chamber. A spiritual silhouette of the queen forms standing tall and proud. As the room becomes a moonlit night with an endless ocean as the arena floor, Ranni states, “Upon my name as Ranni the Witch. Mother's rich slumber shall not be disturbed by thee. Foul trespasser. Send word far and wide. Of the last Queen of Caria, Rennala of the Full Moon. And the majesty of the night she conjureth.” 

In the second phase you fight an illusion of a powerful mage who holds the power of stars and the moon. We can assume it is an illusion purely conjured by Ranni and I’d like to think that this could very well be what she saw her mother as before the divorce. When you beat Rennala in her second and final phase, she states, “Oh little Ranni, my dear daughter. Weave thy night into being.” Maybe this is a core memory for Ranni. Maybe it is something that Ranni imagines her mother would say as she begins her rebellion against the golden order. 

Whatever the case may be, I want to conclude this long winded ted talk by saying that EldenSoulsBorne games (other than maybe Sekiro) are inherently esoteric. This is by their design and I would argue that it can sometimes be a hindrance to the really good context that exists weaved into their stories (sometimes). In regards to Ranni, I think her plot always sort of captivates people for reasons that are either wish fulfillment underdog stories or because sudo romance plots are going to inherently draw a certain kind of player. I, for one, finally became drawn to it when she finally revealed that malice as the doll. The game gives you plenty of reasons to dislike the golden order and five of the six endings all challenge this flawed governing system. The game is really just chalk full of reasons to dislike the golden order. But it wasn’t Ranni’s or the rest of the game’s own logical case that drew me to her plot. It was her genuine hatred. Radagan took her mother from her and I can only imagine what sort of demonstrably terrible father he was, with the context of the golden order greatsword.

You'd think "Soulslike miniboss whose equipment drops have paragraphs and paragraphs of attached lore making them out to be a big hairy deal in the setting's recent history, yet literally nobody else has ever heard of this guy" would be a parody thing, and yet.

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Ight sooo, take this with the same sort of explorative contemplation you see from a Vaati video. Souls game’s lore sometimes have enough context to piece together your own understanding of their plot points. Sometimes I don't think this is intentional. Time and schedule are a huge factor of all games and not all stories can reach a point where every original plan can be achieved. 

But let's say, for funsies, that the beastman (called the Missbegotten Crusader in this fight) and the blade, was in some way, intended. 

The Golden Order Greatsword description states:

Greatsword made of light, modeled after the Elden Ring itself.

Forged by King Consort Radagon to proudly symbolize the tenets of the Golden Order. One of the legendary armaments.

Telltale signs betray that this was once the greatsword bequeathed to him by his first wife, Rennala.

I could spend a long time discussing the context of the misbegotten crusader, who is wielding the weapon. And maybe the word “crusader” is worth looking at too as this is one of several mini-bosses that can be fought throughout the game who are normally called Missbegotten Warriors. For the sake of my point, Misbegotten are a race of creatures who are viewed as outcasts and slaves by the Golden Order, due to their connection to the Crucible. 

Here’s what’s juicy to me. Radagan, for all intents and purposes, is the very essence of religious fundamentalism. He embodies this in his act to carry out massacres for the sake of “purity” on those who are labelled as misbegotten and is a hollowed statue of pure order, standing in your way, at the end of the game. He was also married to Rennala Queen of the full moon for a while, having three children with her, until he legally divorced her, Henry VIII style. So what was this sword?

One of the game’s primary endings has you assist his daughter Ranni the Lunar Princess. If you fulfill her quest to destroy the golden order she will gift you the Dark Moon Greatsword and name you her consort. The item description for the sword reads:

A Moon Greatsword, bestowed by a Carian queen upon her spouse to honor long-standing tradition. One of the legendary armaments.

Ranni's sigil is a full moon, cold and leaden, and this sword is but a beam of its light.

The long standing tradition of the carian royal family is to gift this blade to their spouse. We can likely assume that Queen Rennala did the same for her marriage to Radagan. Both the swords are very similar in size and shape as well.

At some point before, during, or after their marriage, Radagan turned his wife’s gift into the Golden Order Greatsword. And while I can’t tell the whole story I think it is a very creative plot point to have such a sword fall into the hands of a misbegotten, in some random cave, in some forgotten snowfield. Radagan did not care for his own wife. He took the gift, and in his eyes, made it better. And then, he still threw it away.

You'd think "Soulslike miniboss whose equipment drops have paragraphs and paragraphs of attached lore making them out to be a big hairy deal in the setting's recent history, yet literally nobody else has ever heard of this guy" would be a parody thing, and yet.

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If Wallace (Wallace and Gromit) died in his sleep, the contraptions that get him out of bed would still deliver his lifeless corpse into the dining room, likely for Gromit to clean up

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The settler state arguably got the worst white demons in the world

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this frame from krusty krab training video is so underrated to me why does nobody talk about it

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I forgot about this magic card, what's alexander hamilton there even complaining about

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every time AMCA makes the cal kestis double jump joke i have to go back and read the og post

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Everyone say thank you to the strong nuclear force monkey that holds the very laws of physics together

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whoever made the decision to make umpires wear cameras... you are a legend

this is genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen