bahngray

[bahngray]

Countdown to Chris’ Day ♡ ─── ⋆⋅ D-5: tour shenanigans 

[bahngray]

Countdown to Chris’ Day ♡ ─── ⋆⋅ D-6: in colors – featuring Pantone Connect vivify palette (insp)

[bahngray]

© 옆말 | do not edit and/or crop logo

[bahngray]

8 things about felix → happy felix day ☀

[bahngray]

8 things about seungmin → happy seungmin day 🐶

[bahngray]

I JUST WANNA BE YOURS

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Parts - Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3

Synopsis - The reason why we can't let go of someone is because deep down inside we still have hope.

Chapter 4

Hyunjin - We all knew y/n would be devastated seeing him like that. We warned him not to drink off his limits again, but he wouldn't listen. Chan hyung wasn't someone you could control he would do something if he wanted to, doesn't matter what it is he'll make sure he does it perfectly till the end.

Han - His drinking was going really uphill at that time. He was always wasted. Maybe our tour had been stressing him out because he could not see y/n for that time being but then again I didn't see him contact y/n anyday since we did our tour which was honestly weird.

Changbin - We all had been noticing him acting weird ever since our tour started and we assumed he and y/n, they had a fight but when his drinking went flying up to the sky we knew something was very very wrong.

Leeknow - He wasn't the type to really share his personal concerns with any of us nor did he like if we wanted to give him comfort. He was a perfectionist in that way but it wasn't always good trying to be an perfectionist.

Seungmin - I was dead worried about him. But I would never cross the line and go ask him why this sudden behavior. I watched him form a distance and I could clearly see he was aching.

Felix - I couldn't see him like that. I just couldn't. It hurt when I saw him like that and knowing that I could not do anything made me feel sick. That's the thing about pain it makes u feel insanely crappy about yourself.

I.N - I didn't know how we would fix his drinking because it was getting worse everyday and we all knew we had to stop him but we also knew that no one had the ability to stop him, no one but y/n. But we had to make him stop somehow and fix the mood because it wasn't good for our team. And honestly it wasn't good for any of us.

Y/n - As I opened the door to my apartment to head out for work I meet his brown eyes at the entrance and a part of me wanted to fall into his arms but then there was that part of me which urged me to stand my ground.

"Y/n, I can explain" he moves forward to hold my hand but I move away just as he does so.

He looks up at me with just hurt in his eyes.

"Y/n please?" He motions to hold my hands again but I backup again.

"DONT TOUCH ME!" I yell at him tears streaming out of my eyes. He shivers as though he was not being able to process the situation.

"We can fix this y/n, please listen to me" he says giving me a soft look while his brown eyes drew in sincerity.

"No, go home Chan please" I say clutching onto my bag so hard it feels as if my hand is going to tear apart.

"I'm not in the state to talk to u or face u right now" I say wiping my tears. "Go home and wait for my reply, wait for me that is the only thing I'll ask from you" I say finally looking at him.

Chan doesn't say a word but backs away and heads out of the front door. I feel sick to my stomach. I almost felt as if I was crumbling down when I was infront of him. I would almost give myself in to him and I was scared knowing that he had that amount of control over my feelings, over me.

Bangchan - A week passed but there were no calls or texts from y/n. I had been waiting since that day for her reply, for her to rush back to me. I know I sound extremely disgusting but that is how much I loved her. I was losing my mind.

I was losing my focus. I couldn't concentrate in work, we were falling behind and as a result Stray Kids weren't doing any good at the time too.

I blamed myself for all this. For letting our fans down, the members down and most importantly for letting y/n down, for hurting her so bad.

I deserved nothing. But I still wanted her. I needed her. It's crazy how much she had made me hers.

I was about to head out of my studio when I heard a knock at the door and thought it was my manager. But then I turned around and was shocked as well as happy to see, y/n.

The room filled with her fragrance and I took deep breaths to take her in, to believe she was finally there, infront of me.

I was scared too, I honestly thought she would dump me and I know I deserved to be dumped but there was still that tiny hope inside of me that said she would come back.

"Hey how are you?" She says as I lock my eyes with hers and suddenly everything started to make sense again.

It felt as if I was alive again, that I was breathing again.

"Good I guess" I said scratching the back of my head.

"I was umm waiting for your reply" I say ashamed of how disgusting I sounded.

She walks up to me and intervenes her hands with mine as she asks me to sit down on the sofa beside her.

"Chan I love you, I love you so much it feels as if I'm drowning, sinking in your love, living for you"

"I don't want to leave you"

"I don't want to end this and I'm sure you don't want to too"

"I have made my decision,

"your going to rehab, to fix that drinking habit of yours"

She says as my mind starts to go over all sorts of things at once and I'm unable to think straight.

I couldn't say a thing, it was as if someone had sowen my mouth. All the feelings inside me lingered and I felt as if the world was rotating around me.

"You don't have to answer now" She says as I look up at her.

"Think about this, okay, and if anything comes across and you have to choose between me and your work, always, always choose work, hmm?" Tears roll down my eyes as she wipes them off, brushing her thumb across my cheek.

Y/n - it was quite late at night and there weren't many people in the company so I took the elevator nearest to Chan's studio to get down.

My heart ached seeing him like that but I knew my decision was only taken for his better future. For our better future, for the kids to do good and I wasn't going to risk the kids for us.

I honestly loved them, the kids they were like my friends and really good ones and I didn't want them to endure anything bad, at least not for my relationship with Chan.

My thoughts were interrupted as the elevator stopped on the 13th floor. As the doors slid open, his brown eyes met mine at the entrance, he was gasping for air while he stood there.

We stood there for a moment looking at each other, the elevator made a noise announcing that the doors were closing, I held the button to stop the doors form sliding shut and Chan walked inside.

"What's wrong? Why-" before I could finish his lips crashed on mine.

That gentle familiarity struck me again, the feeling that told me I loved him, that I was his. His hands made their way around my waist as i put my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

Our bodies pushed against each other and his hands going inside my shirt. His warm hands touching my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

Our tongues dancing together while our lips overlapped each others with dominance. He lifted my up and cornered me at one side of the elevator. My legs went around his waist and he broke the kiss and looked at me, gasping for air.

"I'm going to rehab,"

"I love you, I love you, I really do" he said as my cheeks started to heat. He pecked my cheeks and I'm sure I looked as red as a tomato.

Our lips intervened with each other again and I kissed him as if there was no tomorrow. I could feel the movement of his veiny hands around my back as he kissed me hungrily but passionately.

He pulled out and put his head under my shirt as he pecked on my breast and I held onto him tight at the amount of pleasure.

He unclasped my bra and put his lips around my hardening bud. My body lost all its control as I shivered under his touch, as I could feel all the movements of his veiny hands on my body.

"Chan....mmmh....w-we...a-are...mmhhh...still.....in..the company...ahhh" I said as he suucked and but on my hardened bud.

Removing his head from underneath my shirt he looked at me and smirked,

"Shall we continue this at your apartment?"

And this concludes the last part of this series. Let me know if u guys want a part 2. I'll go on a hiatus for a week as I have my exams knocking on my door. I'll be back soon. Love you guys.

Let me know if u guys have any ideas and I'll turn them into ffs.

♡ R

[bahngray]

Hi guys,

Firstly I have an announcement to make chapter 4 of I Just Wanna Be Yours will be out on Saturday instead of Thursday this week as I want to give you guys the best of my work and I have been editing since yesterday but I'm not so confident about the work. So I'll take a day from u guys and finish rewriting and editing to give u guys a nice one that u deserve.

I once again apologize for the inconvenience.

- ♡ R

[bahngray]

Can I just say i was crying while writing this too?

I JUST WANNA BE YOURS

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Synopsis- Are you in love with a person or an idea?

Parts - Chapter 1 , Chapter 2

Y/n - We had been going out for more than a month at that time and he invited me to his studio. It was when they were making Levanter and he said he wanted me to be the first one who listens to the tracks.

Though I knew what he really meant by that, he was just making an excuse for having me over since we couldn't meet up much around that period of time due to their new album coming up he was really busy. So I let him have his time because I didn't want him to have trouble at work because of our relationship.

Bangchan- I hadn't told the members about y/n even then but they seemed to have an idea about it you know when u start living with people they just know when ur hiding things from them.

I invited y/n to my studio and asked all the members to practice by themselves that day but they were pretty sus about the whole thing and just bugged me to my studio. I was trying to explain the situation with something that would convince them but that's when y/n called me.

My phone buzzed while displaying "Babe" on the screen and when the members saw it they literally lost it screaming, shocked and then Han just went ahead and took the phone, sliding it to answer while the other members held me so that I would not be able to move.

My heart pounded in my chest as I thought of the possibilities of how they would react to y/n once she comes up to my studio.

Han puts the phone on speaker, "Hey, I'm here in the lobby" She spoke softly and it felt as if I could melt right then and there due to the softness of her voice but I held my expressions back.

"Wait up I'm coming down to the lobby" Han beams loudly, and rushes out the door to head down the lobby with my phone in his hand.

I struggle to get out of the grip of the members but at last sigh in defeat when I see y/n laughing with Han walking up to my studio.

She looked ethereal on that red silk dress she was wearing, with an just the right amount of cleavage showing and her bare legs made me lose my mind. She just looked like a piece of diamond which I would cherish for the rest of my life.

When she saw me she walked up to me and started laughing, at this sight all the members also started laughing. At first I just couldn't get it why they laughing until y/n told me how red Mt face had become.

I almost died out of embarrassment right then and there. "Okay so since you all already have guessed or known yes this is y/n and she is my girlfriend, we have been dating for more than a month and yeah that's about it"

"Now can you guys leave me and my girlfriend alone so that we can't spend some "alone time" together?"  I said breaking the embarrassment I felt.

"Yeah yeah sure, but we'll see you tonight" saying this felix walks past me looking right in the eye.

"And if u Chan hyung ever annoys you y/n let us know we'll teach him a lesson" changbin says loudly while making a neck slicing motion with his fingers and points at me.

The members finally leave us alone after 10 mins of bickering. I turn to face y/n and try to explain why the members were acting so weird, "You don't have to explain" her expressions soft and warm as she looks at me.

Y/n - "so why did u ask me to come her?" I say receiving a smirk from him. He steps forward cornering me with the door. In a flash his hands go around my waist and his lips crash on mine. I shudder at the feeling of this familiarity, his warm breath against my skin makes me feel lightheaded as he touches me in the places I need him the most.

"Chris...mmmh...we have....mmmh...to stop" I say softly pushing him. He holds me tightly not making me able to move a bit. This man, he was so strong it made me feel weak to my knees. While he kept kissing me softly but hungrily and his hands were roaming around my body until they found their way under my silk dress and I shivered at the sensation of his hands pulling my breasts out of my bra and squeezing them softly.

"Ch..mmmmh...Chris...mmmh...we're...gonna get...mmh..c-" I say pushing him a bit more harder this time. His breaks the kiss looking at me with lust in his eyes.

"I just need you" he says breathlessly and pulls me into a kiss while lifting me up and placing me onto his sofa, as I sat on his lap.

His hands went around my breasts as he unclasped the bra and put his head under dress. I had far long lost to him and I was a moaning mess as he sucked on my hardened buds while squeezing the other one when we heard a knockon the door.

"Chan I'm coming in" his manager says form the outside as the doorknob twists to open. In that moment I felt as if I was going to lose everything I had earned, that I would have to give up on this relationship, on us.

Chan looks even more concerned. And just as his manager was about to head inside the room someone calls him form the outside making him shut the door and I quickly get off of Chan and start fixing myself up and he does the same.

I peck Chan goodbye and wipe the stain of my lipstick form his lips and head out of the studio. Thoughts swirling in and out of my mind as I walk out of the company building, outside as the scorching sun hits my skin leaving a burning sensation.

I loved him, I really loved him. That was the only thought I had when I left that building. I didn't want our relationship to end. I didn't want to leave him because of him being an idol but I knew he couldn't just risk his career for me.

He couldn't just throw away all his hardwork, all his members, his group for me. That would be selfish of me to keep him do that. So I called him and asked him to stop by my apartment after work.

"Hi, is everything alright baby?" He said coming inside the apartment and intervening his hands with mine.

His soft delicate skin touched mine and I could feel the movements of his nerves on my skin. He smelled like comfort, I rested my head on his chest as I nuzzle my neck into his neck. "What's wrong?" He said so softly that it felt as if his words were coming out like clouds hovering around me.

I held him tight drinking in the fragrance of his body as much as I could. "Y/n tell me, what is it?" He says letting go of the hug and looking at me with his warm brown eyes.

"Can you promise me something?" I said hesitating for a moment as his hands intervened with mine once again. "Yes I can" he says kissing my forehead softly.

"If you ever have to choose between me and your career, always chose your career first" I said while he looked at me with somewhat hurt in his eyes.

"Promise me" I said as a tear rolled down my eyes.

"Chris, please tell me you'd do it"

"Please" I said as tears started streaming down my face.

Bangchan - I couldn't. I just couldn't see her like that. All crumbled like that because of me. I wanted to protect her, hold her tight but I knew I was not capable of it. I didn't belong to myself, I belonged to stray kids and I couldn't just take a decision by myself.

I couldn't just leave the group I made because of a relationship I just started. I couldn't. And I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave y/n because I wanted a future with her. I wanted her, I needed her.

As she lay on my chest sleeping peacefully, her breathing hitting my chest as her hand stayed intervened with mine, I couldn't think of anything else but how I could keep both of them. Stray kids and y/n. How I could maintain a healthy relationship. I didn't know how. But I was eager to find out.

We were preparing for our tour in USA and I had to leave for 3 months and then more 2 months for coming back and forth and yeah so I would not meet y/n for 5 whole months.

When I told her that she congratulated me and told me to go ahead and do big shows, show everyone how capable stray kids were and prove the haters wrong. But I knew deep down inside she was aching. She didn't want me to leave and I couldn't bring her with me.

Y/n - 2 months passed and we weren't in much contact, he was really busy with work and though I knew that I wanted him available at all times, I wanted him to call me everyday, make some time for me.

I wanted a family guy and I knew he couldn't be that. But that's when my mom reminded me that I wasn't interested in anything easy.

We went 4 months without a single text or call and that's when our relationship sank. I was pissed off at him and he didn't even bother to contact. I was just so confused why he was doing that.

I didn't understand why.

I couldn't understand why.

Another month passed without any texts or calls and they were returning in two days. I went to his studio to talk to him. He wasn't there. I went to their dorm he wasn't there either.

Turns out they were out clubbing that night celebrating their successful world tour.

I knew which club they had went to so I got there because I had to talk to him. When I entered the club I saw hyunjin and Han talking with each other until they saw me and their faces gave a startled expression.

I asked them if they knew where Chris was, they exchanged looks but didn't give me a reply so I went searching for him on all the floors of the club.

Until I heard noises from a room beside the stairs and I was dead sure I heard Chris. I knocked on the door but there was no reply. So I entered the room and my whole world crumbled against me as I saw,

Him having sexual intercourse with some girl. His groans and her moans made me sick to my stomach as I heard Hyunjin and Han rushing up against me trying to explain.

"Y/n listen he's drunk, he isn't in his right mind" Han said as hyunjin made me turn to him. My eyes shaking in anger.

"Listen y/n calm down, calm down let's go downstairs okay?" Hyunjin and as he motioned against the stairs.

But I rushed back into the room and screamed, " GET OFF OF THE BED RIGHT NOW!"

Chris looked at me with a grin, at the sight of him he seemed drunk, core bulging out . He seemed wasted. He was off his limits again. I asked Han and hyunjin to pull him off the bed and take him to their dorm.

I went home and I cried, I cried my eyes out. My heart sank in so much pain that it was almost unbearable to contain a stable breathing.

I thought I was living dead. I was losing myself again.

The thought of him having sex with someone else flashed my mind. The thoughts that he was just using me, that he just took me as a one night stand and that was all he thought of me crossed my mind and I lay in my bed sobbing until it was 3am.

I was shaking so much form the amount of crying that I feared I would faint anytime soon.

I calmed down and took some sleeping pills but that couldn't ease the ache I had been feeling.

[bahngray]

@septicrebel actually when I started writing this I was such a nervous wreck I thought it was going to flop and so I thought over and over on what would be a good storyline and yeah we got uptill here and I'm glad I did post this. I glad u liked it. I was feeling so down today and I'm so suffering from a writers block at the moment that I can't seem to write anything but then I read all ur reblogs and u made my day :))

I Just Wanna Be Yours

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Synopsis - You sometimes question yourself whether u are a bad person or a good person but the truth is we are all human beings and our imperfections are the things that make up perfect.

Parts - Chapter 1

Chapter 2

"Hyung!" a familiar voice screamed from  outside. I felt a rush of relief as well as worry as I recognized that voice.

"Hyung! Come on you have to wake up now" hyunjin screamed once again.

"Coming in 10 minutes!" I screamed loud enough for him to hear me from the otherside.

I turn around to face y/n and notice the strange expression on her face. She sat upstraight on the bed as she expected an explanation for my sudden behavior.

Not knowing what I should answer I just asked her the stupidest question, "Don't you know Stray Kids?"

She looked at me perplexed, wondering why I was asking about some kpop group instead of giving her an explanation.

"I'm the leader of that group" I said with a chuckle. "Wh-what?!" She exclaimed.

"Makes sense now yeah?" I said, not knowing how I was going to solve this situation or what our future would be like.

Y/n - I was in utter shock. I'm the type of person who likes a quiet, private relationship but he was an idol and if things got out of hand I would be the one at risk not him.

I started to blame myself for getting drunk and doing something so stupid. I couldn't even decide what we were, whether he actually meant anything to me or was he only a mistake.

"Let's talk sometime again, I have to go now as you know if we get caught we both are dead meat" he said with a tone worried as well as concerned.

Before I could even say anything he got dressed and left.

All my life I had been chasing for a man who would love me for who I was and when I found someone who was as close to my type he was found to be an idol. I honestly was confused, I wasn't sure about my feelings and I didn't even think I meant anything to him. Maybe he would never even contact me.

Until he did. It was a month after we last met. I was reviewing our newest product at work when my phone buzzed displaying an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hey I guess I reached out to you way too late from what I meant. I'm sorry about that."

" How did you get my number?"

"I have my ways"

"The hell r u? A stalker?"

"Let's not go that far cause I can say for sure that I'm more than a stalker"

"I can't talk rn I'm at work"

"When do u get off?"

"Why?"

"Are you always this hard to get?"

"Whatever"

"We need to talk , tell me when u get off work I'll pick you up"

"Are you even allowed to do that? What if someone sees us?"

"Can't u trust me for this once?"

"I'll go now bye"

*The call has ended*

Bangchan - She was just my type. Yeah I just knew she was the one. I made a plan with the help of the members (though I lied to them saying I was going out to meet my sister) and snuck out of our dorm to meet y/n. Only if she knew how much I was risking to meet her. Haha.

It's funny how strong my feelings were for her when I had only met her once.

She didn't tell me when he would get off work so I waited outside her workplace. After waiting for half an hour she comes out in the most beautiful black turtle neck and not to mention but she looked so hot I almost wanted to fuck her right then and there but I was holding myself back.

When she saw me her face went blank, she looked as if she had seen a ghost or something. She quickly walks up to me, it is surprising how she even recognizes me because I was covered from head to toe with clothing and I covered myself in a way so that no one would recognize me but I have to say she was impressive.

"What r u doing here?" She said with a worried tone.

"I told u I would pick u up after work, we have to talk y/n" I said while she kept searching for my eyes.

"Let's go now that ur done with work" I go ahead and hold her hand to get her to the car. She doesn't stop me, she just walks with me as if we were two magnet poles attracted to each other.

When we got to the car, she kept looking down at her hands and I thought she was uncomfortable at the fact that I held her hands so I apologized quickly, "I- I'm sorry if u felt un-"

But she was fast enough to cut me off, "So yes what did u want to talk about?"

"Umm so yeah uk that night it was .... I mean I think uk what it was... I just don't know what our rela-"

"It was a mistake" she said cutting me off once again. I was puzzled not understanding why she was lying because she clearly had feelings for me.

And I knew she did, so I stopped the car nearby and faced her, "You can stop lying if u think that's going to stop me" I said.

She looked up at me, her eyes filled with so much warmth it stopped my breathing.

"Listen I- I'm not the kind of person who wants to do a relationship like this cause honestly my life is already enough messed up and I don't want to drag a relationship that would be problematic into it"

"You know we can't be, you know that then why are you hesitating and not facing the truth. If we get caught it would be the end for both of us. We don't have ways here it's a dead end"

She said her eyes getting watery, but she was holding herself back. In that moment I just wanted to hold her, close and tight and protect her with all I had.

"You might not know this but I never give up on things that are mine" I said looking at her.

Tears streamed down her face as reached mu hand out to wipe them, cupping one side of her face and gently brushing my thumb on her cheek.

"Tears don't suit u" I said putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Her tears come out so fast after that, she starts shaking. I pull her close to my and hug her softly, stroking her hair gently.

After a while when she calms down and rests her body on me while still hugging me I tell her she's the most beautiful person I have seen on earth and that I'll protect her.

She pulls away for me and it feels as if someone has disconnected half of my body from me. She looks straight in my eyes and without a warning crashes her lips on mine.

Kissing me softly with her plump lips, our tongues dancing with pleasure. I break the kiss and place her on top of my lap.

Y/n - I put my hands around his neck pulling him into another kiss, while his hands roam around my body, touching me in the best ways possible.

I break the kiss gasping for air when he brings his lips on mine again, kissing me so softly while his tongue was searching for dominance as his hands went under my turtle neck.

As I shifted in his lap, putting my legs on sides of his waist I felt his hardened core and gently pushed down on it, receiving a groan from him.

He lifts my crop top and starts sucking on my cleavage. I moan at the sight of this new experience. I pull him closer to me as his breathing hits my breasts and I shiver at the sensation of his tongue on one of my hardened buds.

I arch my back at the sudden pleasure while he unclasps my bra exposing my breasts fully this time.

He sucks on my hardened buds and rolls his tongue on my sensitive skin receiving moans from me. In a flash he brings his lips back on mine again and kisses me roughly but so passionately I almost forget how to breath.

I push down on his hardened core and he arches back. He pulls his hips up everytime I push down and I go ahead sucking on his neck, making sure I give him that mark. Sucking, biting, tongue rolling as he thrusts through the clothing into me.

"You mean alot....to me y/n and I want to know more ......and more about you please give me a..... chance to be a part of ur life" he says.

"I'm ... all ..yours..Chan" I say gasping for air.

*Later*

I show him the way to my apartment and he drops me off. "I'll head inside now" I say shifting on my seat to face him.

"Okay sleep tight" he says giving me a soft look pouting his lips.

I give him a peck at the sight of this sudden cuteness and get off the car. I watch as he drives away from the parking lot and I head to my apartment.

Han - Yes I was the first person who knew he had something up and dude he kept on blushing all the time, he was always on his phone texting someone and while the others were too busy to even notice I literally caught him. Haha it's just funny to see ur teammate being all lovey dovey for someone.

I.N - I honestly was traumatized at the sight of him. It was pure hell when he kept blushing and laughing all by himself. I guess we all knew at some point that he was dating.

Hyunjin - He was on the way to get caught and this is what happened....

As I promised chapter 2 is up. Idk why writing has been so difficult I barely could write anything properly and I don't feel good sharing this one with you guys but I made a promise and I had to keep it. Thank u for supporting me! Ily guys soo soooooo much.

Perhaps guess I'm suffering from a writers block. Yes AGAIN!!!

[bahngray]

@septicrebel thank you so much for taking the time to read, I can't be more happy knowing that u liked this and maybe in some way this ff has brightened ur day. It's okay there's nothing wrong with crying, I, myself cry alot these days without any reason guess that's one way knowing that I'm still human haha. But anyhow thank u for showing all this love and support, it is people like u who keep me going ♡.

I Just Wanna Be Yours

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Synopsis - Feelings don't have to be mutual to be true.

Chapter 1

The beginning of Stray Kids was a very emotional start for Bangchan. He has been dreaming of debuting since so long it felt as if the world finally recognized him after all the hurdles he had to go through.

He had finally debuted with not just the members he handpicked but the people with whom he wanted to perform on stage for a long time.

Bangchan - I was over the moon when we

debuted. I was so happy about the fact that I could finally share my thoughts, emotions as songs to people. I loved the members so much, they really brought out the real me and I will always be thankful for them, I mean they basically saved me as I was falling and we created this amazing bond which I'm really grateful for and honestly I don't think I can ever pay them back for giving me this moment I had waited for years.

Minho - Chan hyung was so emotional it honestly kinda broke me down but then again I'm the person who is pretty bad at expressing feelings so I held it in. But I honestly think Chan hyung  has a really big heart and I'm really grateful I can be a part of this group after all the obstacles I had to face. I'm honestly proud. But I'll always tease hyung for crying himself out infront of everyone haha.

Changbin - OH! it was like I was having the time of my life. We were so happy, we could debut as one after all those eliminations, because I had honestly lost all of my confidence and I practiced really hard so that I would not make a single mistake. The members they are just like living motivation to me. I just hope we can stick together like this for a long time.

Hyunjin - I hate this sudden emotional talk but yeah, I love the members and I mean we fought a lot but we're fine now, we all know when another member is sensitive so we don't really fight anymore. This is making me cringe can we stop?

Han - Yes Lesgoo! Hello I'm Han of Stray kids. Oh so I don't have to introduce myself? Oh my bad! So our debut, I think that's one of those moments that will always define my life. I was overwhelmed by the situation I thought I was dreaming. I couldn't imagine that was real, that I was a part of this awesome group until Chan hyung started crying. Haha he's honestly very cute when he crying.

Felix - When I tell you my Korean was terrible at that time just know that I'm not kidding. The survival show was like the worst time of my life, I honestly have mixed feelings about it. When I got eliminated I was the most lost person ever. Chan hyung and me we more like blood related brothers than just some dudes from Australia who know each other. I honestly couldn't imagine myself without him. Korea was already full of struggles but the elimination made me question my dream. I am going to stop being emotional but yeah look where I am now.

Seungmin - Predebut days were pure hell and that's just a fact believe it or not. I think when we debuted it was the time when I mentally started processing things around me and became stronger. I loved our team, and I wanted to give my best to make our group go higher and you know how people say a good team serves as a great family and I tell you they are not lying when they say that.

I.N - I will always be grateful for our team. When Chan hyung offered me to be a part of his team I was honestly shocked because I was a year behind. If he didn't offer me that part I would have been with the junior trainees and that is why I owe hyung almost everything. But this doesn't change the fact that he bothers me the most haha.

In 2019 April 4th Stray Kids got their first win on mcountdown for Miroh.

The song broke records and gave the group their first win.

Later that night the members decided to go out, clubbing, staying up all night and drinking until they fainted to celebrate their win.

Bangchan - We decided to go all night out and when we entered the club I saw the most beautiful women dancing in the middle of the crowd, wearing a black lacey crop top and shorts with high heels. She had a beautiful neckline, a tiny mole under the right side of her eye, full lips and sculptured collarbones. I don't think it's just me but anyone who would enter the club would be captivated with her charm, she was just breathtaking.

Y/n - I was partying the night out with some of my friends, I had quite a few drinks so I was pretty drunk. I was dancing all out until I felt two hands snake around my waist. I shift to turn around but those hands hold me tight against my waist, "Stay still" a husky voice whispers on my left ear. I freeze as I shiver from the sudden reaction of those hands going their way up from my waist to my breast and lastly to my collarbone.

My legs feel weak as the person behind me starts kissing my collarbones

and then starts sucking on the right side getting a soft moan from me. He groans in satisfaction, his hands loosing its grip around my neck. I take this chance to turn around and when I tell you he looked like the most ethereal person I have ever seen you better believe me.

He was just perfect in everyway, from his veiny hands to his large shoulders and broad chest. His body proportions were just out of this world I wondered how could someone even look like that until he looked right in my eyes and before I knew my lips were on his.

Bangchan - Every tingling feeling felt so soft and warm, her soft lips on mine, our tongues dancing with each other, her hands going around my neck, us breaking the kiss and gasping for air, all these things made me lose control. We rested our foreheads against each other, my hands on her tiny waist while she was tightening the gap between us by pulling me closer to her by my neck.

I honestly was a bit scared because she seemed drunk and I had no idea if she had kissed me because she was drunk or if she actually wanted to kiss me.

But I can sure say this that I felt the most loved that day. I honestly never thought u could feel loved without even knowing a person. I just felt that without me knowing, I loved her.

Y/n - I don't remember much about that night mainly because I was drunk but I remember waking up next to Chan. His hands around my waist, his breathing on my bare shoulder. I was honestly very flustered because I couldn't recall a thing from the night before.

But then I turn to face him and I remember seeing the most gorgeous face infront of me sleeping peacefully. His veiny hands which had me lose control I remember every encounter he made on my body last night.

How much I liked his touch on my skin, how much I ached for him to touch me, as if I had always been aching for him. His pale and smooth skin glowed in the sunlight.

But then I was struck with the thoughts on whether he really wanted me or whether this was just a one night stand thing for him. My insecurities started to sink in just as Chan opened his eyes and adjusted them to the sunlight to look at me.

"Goodmorning beautiful" He said with a deep husky tone that made me weak to my knees.

"Goodmorning" I said with an insecured tone.

As if he already knew what I was thinking, he hovered over me and looked me in the eyes, "Just to clear things up I did the things I wanted to last night, my feelings are true, though I'm not sure if the feelingsare mutualbut feelings don't have ti be mutual to be true" I stare at him feeling the warmth in his beautiful brown eyes.

As he waits for my reply I quickly give him a peck on the lips to assure him. He smirks at me and gives me a long soft kiss. "Guess who was so wet last night for me" he says looking at me while I try to hide my tinted cheeks with the sheets underneath.

He lays down beside me and hugs me tight, nuzzling his nose in my neck. "You smell so good" He says until we hear a thump at the door and he jumps out of the bed in a swift motion. I get confused not understanding why he was reacting like this.

Bangchan - The only thought I had in my mind at that time was that if I got caught I would be fired and I could not risk my career or y/n. As my mind was running over to find a solution someone screamed and banged on the door once again but more louder this time, it felt as if the door was going to break.

Next part comes out on 4th of August

[bahngray]

I JUST WANNA BE YOURS

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Synopsis- Are you in love with a person or an idea?

Parts - Chapter 1 , Chapter 2

Y/n - We had been going out for more than a month at that time and he invited me to his studio. It was when they were making Levanter and he said he wanted me to be the first one who listens to the tracks.

Though I knew what he really meant by that, he was just making an excuse for having me over since we couldn't meet up much around that period of time due to their new album coming up he was really busy. So I let him have his time because I didn't want him to have trouble at work because of our relationship.

Bangchan- I hadn't told the members about y/n even then but they seemed to have an idea about it you know when u start living with people they just know when ur hiding things from them.

I invited y/n to my studio and asked all the members to practice by themselves that day but they were pretty sus about the whole thing and just bugged me to my studio. I was trying to explain the situation with something that would convince them but that's when y/n called me.

My phone buzzed while displaying "Babe" on the screen and when the members saw it they literally lost it screaming, shocked and then Han just went ahead and took the phone, sliding it to answer while the other members held me so that I would not be able to move.

My heart pounded in my chest as I thought of the possibilities of how they would react to y/n once she comes up to my studio.

Han puts the phone on speaker, "Hey, I'm here in the lobby" She spoke softly and it felt as if I could melt right then and there due to the softness of her voice but I held my expressions back.

"Wait up I'm coming down to the lobby" Han beams loudly, and rushes out the door to head down the lobby with my phone in his hand.

I struggle to get out of the grip of the members but at last sigh in defeat when I see y/n laughing with Han walking up to my studio.

She looked ethereal on that red silk dress she was wearing, with an just the right amount of cleavage showing and her bare legs made me lose my mind. She just looked like a piece of diamond which I would cherish for the rest of my life.

When she saw me she walked up to me and started laughing, at this sight all the members also started laughing. At first I just couldn't get it why they laughing until y/n told me how red Mt face had become.

I almost died out of embarrassment right then and there. "Okay so since you all already have guessed or known yes this is y/n and she is my girlfriend, we have been dating for more than a month and yeah that's about it"

"Now can you guys leave me and my girlfriend alone so that we can't spend some "alone time" together?"  I said breaking the embarrassment I felt.

"Yeah yeah sure, but we'll see you tonight" saying this felix walks past me looking right in the eye.

"And if u Chan hyung ever annoys you y/n let us know we'll teach him a lesson" changbin says loudly while making a neck slicing motion with his fingers and points at me.

The members finally leave us alone after 10 mins of bickering. I turn to face y/n and try to explain why the members were acting so weird, "You don't have to explain" her expressions soft and warm as she looks at me.

Y/n - "so why did u ask me to come her?" I say receiving a smirk from him. He steps forward cornering me with the door. In a flash his hands go around my waist and his lips crash on mine. I shudder at the feeling of this familiarity, his warm breath against my skin makes me feel lightheaded as he touches me in the places I need him the most.

"Chris...mmmh...we have....mmmh...to stop" I say softly pushing him. He holds me tightly not making me able to move a bit. This man, he was so strong it made me feel weak to my knees. While he kept kissing me softly but hungrily and his hands were roaming around my body until they found their way under my silk dress and I shivered at the sensation of his hands pulling my breasts out of my bra and squeezing them softly.

"Ch..mmmmh...Chris...mmmh...we're...gonna get...mmh..c-" I say pushing him a bit more harder this time. His breaks the kiss looking at me with lust in his eyes.

"I just need you" he says breathlessly and pulls me into a kiss while lifting me up and placing me onto his sofa, as I sat on his lap.

His hands went around my breasts as he unclasped the bra and put his head under dress. I had far long lost to him and I was a moaning mess as he sucked on my hardened buds while squeezing the other one when we heard a knockon the door.

"Chan I'm coming in" his manager says form the outside as the doorknob twists to open. In that moment I felt as if I was going to lose everything I had earned, that I would have to give up on this relationship, on us.

Chan looks even more concerned. And just as his manager was about to head inside the room someone calls him form the outside making him shut the door and I quickly get off of Chan and start fixing myself up and he does the same.

I peck Chan goodbye and wipe the stain of my lipstick form his lips and head out of the studio. Thoughts swirling in and out of my mind as I walk out of the company building, outside as the scorching sun hits my skin leaving a burning sensation.

I loved him, I really loved him. That was the only thought I had when I left that building. I didn't want our relationship to end. I didn't want to leave him because of him being an idol but I knew he couldn't just risk his career for me.

He couldn't just throw away all his hardwork, all his members, his group for me. That would be selfish of me to keep him do that. So I called him and asked him to stop by my apartment after work.

"Hi, is everything alright baby?" He said coming inside the apartment and intervening his hands with mine.

His soft delicate skin touched mine and I could feel the movements of his nerves on my skin. He smelled like comfort, I rested my head on his chest as I nuzzle my neck into his neck. "What's wrong?" He said so softly that it felt as if his words were coming out like clouds hovering around me.

I held him tight drinking in the fragrance of his body as much as I could. "Y/n tell me, what is it?" He says letting go of the hug and looking at me with his warm brown eyes.

"Can you promise me something?" I said hesitating for a moment as his hands intervened with mine once again. "Yes I can" he says kissing my forehead softly.

"If you ever have to choose between me and your career, always chose your career first" I said while he looked at me with somewhat hurt in his eyes.

"Promise me" I said as a tear rolled down my eyes.

"Chris, please tell me you'd do it"

"Please" I said as tears started streaming down my face.

Bangchan - I couldn't. I just couldn't see her like that. All crumbled like that because of me. I wanted to protect her, hold her tight but I knew I was not capable of it. I didn't belong to myself, I belonged to stray kids and I couldn't just take a decision by myself.

I couldn't just leave the group I made because of a relationship I just started. I couldn't. And I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave y/n because I wanted a future with her. I wanted her, I needed her.

As she lay on my chest sleeping peacefully, her breathing hitting my chest as her hand stayed intervened with mine, I couldn't think of anything else but how I could keep both of them. Stray kids and y/n. How I could maintain a healthy relationship. I didn't know how. But I was eager to find out.

We were preparing for our tour in USA and I had to leave for 3 months and then more 2 months for coming back and forth and yeah so I would not meet y/n for 5 whole months.

When I told her that she congratulated me and told me to go ahead and do big shows, show everyone how capable stray kids were and prove the haters wrong. But I knew deep down inside she was aching. She didn't want me to leave and I couldn't bring her with me.

Y/n - 2 months passed and we weren't in much contact, he was really busy with work and though I knew that I wanted him available at all times, I wanted him to call me everyday, make some time for me.

I wanted a family guy and I knew he couldn't be that. But that's when my mom reminded me that I wasn't interested in anything easy.

We went 4 months without a single text or call and that's when our relationship sank. I was pissed off at him and he didn't even bother to contact. I was just so confused why he was doing that.

I didn't understand why.

I couldn't understand why.

Another month passed without any texts or calls and they were returning in two days. I went to his studio to talk to him. He wasn't there. I went to their dorm he wasn't there either.

Turns out they were out clubbing that night celebrating their successful world tour.

I knew which club they had went to so I got there because I had to talk to him. When I entered the club I saw hyunjin and Han talking with each other until they saw me and their faces gave a startled expression.

I asked them if they knew where Chris was, they exchanged looks but didn't give me a reply so I went searching for him on all the floors of the club.

Until I heard noises from a room beside the stairs and I was dead sure I heard Chris. I knocked on the door but there was no reply. So I entered the room and my whole world crumbled against me as I saw,

Him having sexual intercourse with some girl. His groans and her moans made me sick to my stomach as I heard Hyunjin and Han rushing up against me trying to explain.

"Y/n listen he's drunk, he isn't in his right mind" Han said as hyunjin made me turn to him. My eyes shaking in anger.

"Listen y/n calm down, calm down let's go downstairs okay?" Hyunjin and as he motioned against the stairs.

But I rushed back into the room and screamed, " GET OFF OF THE BED RIGHT NOW!"

Chris looked at me with a grin, at the sight of him he seemed drunk, core bulging out . He seemed wasted. He was off his limits again. I asked Han and hyunjin to pull him off the bed and take him to their dorm.

I went home and I cried, I cried my eyes out. My heart sank in so much pain that it was almost unbearable to contain a stable breathing.

I thought I was living dead. I was losing myself again.

The thought of him having sex with someone else flashed my mind. The thoughts that he was just using me, that he just took me as a one night stand and that was all he thought of me crossed my mind and I lay in my bed sobbing until it was 3am.

I was shaking so much from the amount of crying that I feared I would faint anytime soon.

I calmed down and took some sleeping pills but that couldn't ease the ache I had been feeling.

[bahngray]

I Just Wanna Be Yours

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Synopsis - You sometimes question yourself whether u are a bad person or a good person but the truth is we are all human beings and our imperfections are the things that make us perfect.

Parts - Chapter 1

Chapter 2

"Hyung!" a familiar voice screamed from  outside. I felt a rush of relief as well as worry as I recognized that voice.

"Hyung! Come on you have to wake up now" hyunjin screamed once again.

"Coming in 10 minutes!" I screamed loud enough for him to hear me from the otherside.

I turn around to face y/n and notice the strange expression on her face. She sat upstraight on the bed as she expected an explanation for my sudden behavior.

Not knowing what I should answer I just asked her the stupidest question, "Don't you know Stray Kids?"

She looked at me perplexed, wondering why I was asking about some kpop group instead of giving her an explanation.

"I'm the leader of that group" I said with a chuckle. "Wh-what?!" She exclaimed.

"Makes sense now yeah?" I said, not knowing how I was going to solve this situation or what our future would be like.

Y/n - I was in utter shock. I'm the type of person who likes a quiet, private relationship but he was an idol and if things got out of hand I would be the one at risk not him.

I started to blame myself for getting drunk and doing something so stupid. I couldn't even decide what we were, whether he actually meant anything to me or was he only a mistake.

"Let's talk sometime again, I have to go now as you know if we get caught we both are dead meat" he said with a tone worried as well as concerned.

Before I could even say anything he got dressed and left.

All my life I had been chasing for a man who would love me for who I was and when I found someone who was as close to my type he was found to be an idol. I honestly was confused, I wasn't sure about my feelings and I didn't even think I meant anything to him. Maybe he would never even contact me.

Until he did. It was a month after we last met. I was reviewing our newest product at work when my phone buzzed displaying an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hey I guess I reached out to you way too late from what I meant. I'm sorry about that."

" How did you get my number?"

"I have my ways"

"The hell r u? A stalker?"

"Let's not go that far cause I can say for sure that I'm more than a stalker"

"I can't talk rn I'm at work"

"When do u get off?"

"Why?"

"Are you always this hard to get?"

"Whatever"

"We need to talk , tell me when u get off work I'll pick you up"

"Are you even allowed to do that? What if someone sees us?"

"Can't u trust me for this once?"

"I'll go now bye"

*The call has ended*

Bangchan - She was just my type. Yeah I just knew she was the one. I made a plan with the help of the members (though I lied to them saying I was going out to meet my sister) and snuck out of our dorm to meet y/n. Only if she knew how much I was risking to meet her. Haha.

It's funny how strong my feelings were for her when I had only met her once.

She didn't tell me when he would get off work so I waited outside her workplace. After waiting for half an hour she comes out in the most beautiful black turtle neck and not to mention but she looked so hot I almost wanted to fuck her right then and there but I was holding myself back.

When she saw me her face went blank, she looked as if she had seen a ghost or something. She quickly walks up to me, it is surprising how she even recognizes me because I was covered from head to toe with clothing and I covered myself in a way so that no one would recognize me but I have to say she was impressive.

"What r u doing here?" She said with a worried tone.

"I told u I would pick u up after work, we have to talk y/n" I said while she kept searching for my eyes.

"Let's go now that ur done with work" I go ahead and hold her hand to get her to the car. She doesn't stop me, she just walks with me as if we were two magnet poles attracted to each other.

When we got to the car, she kept looking down at her hands and I thought she was uncomfortable at the fact that I held her hands so I apologized quickly, "I- I'm sorry if u felt un-"

But she was fast enough to cut me off, "So yes what did u want to talk about?"

"Umm so yeah uk that night it was .... I mean I think uk what it was... I just don't know what our rela-"

"It was a mistake" she said cutting me off once again. I was puzzled not understanding why she was lying because she clearly had feelings for me.

And I knew she did, so I stopped the car nearby and faced her, "You can stop lying if u think that's going to stop me" I said.

She looked up at me, her eyes filled with so much warmth it stopped my breathing.

"Listen I- I'm not the kind of person who wants to do a relationship like this cause honestly my life is already enough messed up and I don't want to drag a relationship that would be problematic into it"

"You know we can't be, you know that then why are you hesitating and not facing the truth. If we get caught it would be the end for both of us. We don't have ways here it's a dead end"

She said her eyes getting watery, but she was holding herself back. In that moment I just wanted to hold her, close and tight and protect her with all I had.

"You might not know this but I never give up on things that are mine" I said looking at her.

Tears streamed down her face as reached mu hand out to wipe them, cupping one side of her face and gently brushing my thumb on her cheek.

"Tears don't suit u" I said putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Her tears come out so fast after that, she starts shaking. I pull her close to my and hug her softly, stroking her hair gently.

After a while when she calms down and rests her body on me while still hugging me I tell her she's the most beautiful person I have seen on earth and that I'll protect her.

She pulls away for me and it feels as if someone has disconnected half of my body from me. She looks straight in my eyes and without a warning crashes her lips on mine.

Kissing me softly with her plump lips, our tongues dancing with pleasure. I break the kiss and place her on top of my lap.

Y/n - I put my hands around his neck pulling him into another kiss, while his hands roam around my body, touching me in the best ways possible.

I break the kiss gasping for air when he brings his lips on mine again, kissing me so softly while his tongue was searching for dominance as his hands went under my turtle neck.

As I shifted in his lap, putting my legs on sides of his waist I felt his hardened core and gently pushed down on it, receiving a groan from him.

He lifts my crop top and starts sucking on my cleavage. I moan at the sight of this new experience. I pull him closer to me as his breathing hits my breasts and I shiver at the sensation of his tongue on one of my hardened buds.

I arch my back at the sudden pleasure while he unclasps my bra exposing my breasts fully this time.

He sucks on my hardened buds and rolls his tongue on my sensitive skin receiving moans from me. In a flash he brings his lips back on mine again and kisses me roughly but so passionately I almost forget how to breath.

I push down on his hardened core and he arches back. He pulls his hips up everytime I push down and I go ahead sucking on his neck, making sure I give him that mark. Sucking, biting, tongue rolling as he thrusts through the clothing into me.

"You mean alot....to me y/n and I want to know more ......and more about you please give me a..... chance to be a part of ur life" he says.

"I'm ... all ..yours..Chan" I say gasping for air.

*Later*

I show him the way to my apartment and he drops me off. "I'll head inside now" I say shifting on my seat to face him.

"Okay sleep tight" he says giving me a soft look pouting his lips.

I give him a peck at the sight of this sudden cuteness and get off the car. I watch as he drives away from the parking lot and I head to my apartment.

Han - Yes I was the first person who knew he had something up and dude he kept on blushing all the time, he was always on his phone texting someone and while the others were too busy to even notice I literally caught him. Haha it's just funny to see ur teammate being all lovey dovey for someone.

I.N - I honestly was traumatized at the sight of him. It was pure hell when he kept blushing and laughing all by himself. I guess we all knew at some point that he was dating.

Hyunjin - He was on the way to get caught and this is what happened....

As I promised chapter 2 is up. Idk why writing has been so difficult I barely could write anything properly and I don't feel good sharing this one with you guys but I made a promise and I had to keep it. Thank u for supporting me! Ily guys soo soooooo much.

Perhaps guess I'm suffering from a writers block. Yes AGAIN!!!

[bahngray]

I Just Wanna Be Yours

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing - bangchan x reader

Synopsis - Feelings don't have to be mutual to be true.

Chapter 1

The beginning of Stray Kids was a very emotional start for Bangchan. He has been dreaming of debuting since so long it felt as if the world finally recognized him after all the hurdles he had to go through.

He had finally debuted with not just the members he handpicked but the people with whom he wanted to perform on stage for a long time.

Bangchan - I was over the moon when we

debuted. I was so happy about the fact that I could finally share my thoughts, emotions as songs to people. I loved the members so much, they really brought out the real me and I will always be thankful for them, I mean they basically saved me as I was falling and we created this amazing bond which I'm really grateful for and honestly I don't think I can ever pay them back for giving me this moment I had waited for years.

Minho - Chan hyung was so emotional it honestly kinda broke me down but then again I'm the person who is pretty bad at expressing feelings so I held it in. But I honestly think Chan hyung  has a really big heart and I'm really grateful I can be a part of this group after all the obstacles I had to face. I'm honestly proud. But I'll always tease hyung for crying himself out infront of everyone haha.

Changbin - OH! it was like I was having the time of my life. We were so happy, we could debut as one after all those eliminations, because I had honestly lost all of my confidence and I practiced really hard so that I would not make a single mistake. The members they are just like living motivation to me. I just hope we can stick together like this for a long time.

Hyunjin - I hate this sudden emotional talk but yeah, I love the members and I mean we fought a lot but we're fine now, we all know when another member is sensitive so we don't really fight anymore. This is making me cringe can we stop?

Han - Yes Lesgoo! Hello I'm Han of Stray kids. Oh so I don't have to introduce myself? Oh my bad! So our debut, I think that's one of those moments that will always define my life. I was overwhelmed by the situation I thought I was dreaming. I couldn't imagine that was real, that I was a part of this awesome group until Chan hyung started crying. Haha he's honestly very cute when he crying.

Felix - When I tell you my Korean was terrible at that time just know that I'm not kidding. The survival show was like the worst time of my life, I honestly have mixed feelings about it. When I got eliminated I was the most lost person ever. Chan hyung and me we more like blood related brothers than just some dudes from Australia who know each other. I honestly couldn't imagine myself without him. Korea was already full of struggles but the elimination made me question my dream. I am going to stop being emotional but yeah look where I am now.

Seungmin - Predebut days were pure hell and that's just a fact believe it or not. I think when we debuted it was the time when I mentally started processing things around me and became stronger. I loved our team, and I wanted to give my best to make our group go higher and you know how people say a good team serves as a great family and I tell you they are not lying when they say that.

I.N - I will always be grateful for our team. When Chan hyung offered me to be a part of his team I was honestly shocked because I was a year behind. If he didn't offer me that part I would have been with the junior trainees and that is why I owe hyung almost everything. But this doesn't change the fact that he bothers me the most haha.

In 2019 April 4th Stray Kids got their first win on mcountdown for Miroh.

The song broke records and gave the group their first win.

Later that night the members decided to go out, clubbing, staying up all night and drinking until they fainted to celebrate their win.

Bangchan - We decided to go all night out and when we entered the club I saw the most beautiful women dancing in the middle of the crowd, wearing a black lacey crop top and shorts with high heels. She had a beautiful neckline, a tiny mole under the right side of her eye, full lips and sculptured collarbones. I don't think it's just me but anyone who would enter the club would be captivated with her charm, she was just breathtaking.

Y/n - I was partying the night out with some of my friends, I had quite a few drinks so I was pretty drunk. I was dancing all out until I felt two hands snake around my waist. I shift to turn around but those hands hold me tight against my waist, "Stay still" a husky voice whispers on my left ear. I freeze as I shiver from the sudden reaction of those hands going their way up from my waist to my breast and lastly to my collarbone.

My legs feel weak as the person behind me starts kissing my collarbones

and then starts sucking on the right side getting a soft moan from me. He groans in satisfaction, his hands loosing its grip around my neck. I take this chance to turn around and when I tell you he looked like the most ethereal person I have ever seen you better believe me.

He was just perfect in everyway, from his veiny hands to his large shoulders and broad chest. His body proportions were just out of this world I wondered how could someone even look like that until he looked right in my eyes and before I knew my lips were on his.

Bangchan - Every tingling feeling felt so soft and warm, her soft lips on mine, our tongues dancing with each other, her hands going around my neck, us breaking the kiss and gasping for air, all these things made me lose control. We rested our foreheads against each other, my hands on her tiny waist while she was tightening the gap between us by pulling me closer to her by my neck.

I honestly was a bit scared because she seemed drunk and I had no idea if she had kissed me because she was drunk or if she actually wanted to kiss me.

But I can sure say this that I felt the most loved that day. I honestly never thought u could feel loved without even knowing a person. I just felt that without me knowing, I loved her.

Y/n - I don't remember much about that night mainly because I was drunk but I remember waking up next to Chan. His hands around my waist, his breathing on my bare shoulder. I was honestly very flustered because I couldn't recall a thing from the night before.

But then I turn to face him and I remember seeing the most gorgeous face infront of me sleeping peacefully. His veiny hands which had me lose control I remember every encounter he made on my body last night.

How much I liked his touch on my skin, how much I ached for him to touch me, as if I had always been aching for him. His pale and smooth skin glowed in the sunlight.

But then I was struck with the thoughts on whether he really wanted me or whether this was just a one night stand thing for him. My insecurities started to sink in just as Chan opened his eyes and adjusted them to the sunlight to look at me.

"Goodmorning beautiful" He said with a deep husky tone that made me weak to my knees.

"Goodmorning" I said with an insecured tone.

As if he already knew what I was thinking, he hovered over me and looked me in the eyes, "Just to clear things up I did the things I wanted to last night, my feelings are true, though I'm not sure if the feelingsare mutualbut feelings don't have ti be mutual to be true" I stare at him feeling the warmth in his beautiful brown eyes.

As he waits for my reply I quickly give him a peck on the lips to assure him. He smirks at me and gives me a long soft kiss. "Guess who was so wet last night for me" he says looking at me while I try to hide my tinted cheeks with the sheets underneath.

He lays down beside me and hugs me tight, nuzzling his nose in my neck. "You smell so good" He says until we hear a thump at the door and he jumps out of the bed in a swift motion. I get confused not understanding why he was reacting like this.

Bangchan - The only thought I had in my mind at that time was that if I got caught I would be fired and I could not risk my career or y/n. As my mind was running over to find a solution someone screamed and banged on the door once again but more louder this time, it felt as if the door was going to break.

Next part comes out on 4th of August

[bahngray]

Upcoming post

I just wanna be yours

This is going to be a Bangchan x reader.

The story is based on skz as a group and bangchan and yn's story.

To give some spoilers,

"The beginning of Stray Kids was a very emotional start for Bangchan. He had been dreaming of debuting since so long it felt as if the world finally recognized him after all the hurdles he had to go through.

He had finally debuted with not just the members he handpicked but the people with whom he wanted to perform on stage for a long time."

Hope you guys like this one as well! The first part will be up tomorrow and the other parts will be uploaded every Thursday.

[bahngray]

I have started working on a bangchan x reader ff, this one is gonna take a bit time for me to upload as I want to present something really good to you guys. But in the meantime please show love to Limerence.

I'll be back as soon as possible I promise.

-R

[bahngray]

LIMERENCE

Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.

Pairing hyunjin x reader x felix

Parts : Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3

Synopsis -There are some memories you cant throw away, because those memories define you

"I didn't believe in soulmates, but if i did believe in them, i would believe your soulmate was someone who had all the things you didnt, that needed all the things you had. Not someone who's suffering from the same thing you are."

Chapter 4 : Yours

I couldnt think straight. I was 2 weeks pregnant, which meant I had a child growing inside of me. But this child it didnt belong to Felix.

It belonged to Hyunjin.

Me and Felix we havent made love until we got married, which meant Hyunjin gave me a part of himself that night.

I shaked as I thought of telling Felix about this, Hyunjin about this, about our future.

I rushed home, crying. I called Hyunjin. "Hello" he said with a concerned voice, "Hyunjin...*sniffs*.......I...I...I need you here"

I started crying again, "Please come here" I started shaking.

"Y/n calm down, I'm coming" Hyunjin replied.

*Moments Later*

Hyunjin walks in to find me sitting at the corner of my bed shivering. "Y/n whats wrong, tell me I'm here" he says as he pulls me closer to his chest.

I tell Hyunjin that I was pregnant and that I was holding his child inside of me. Hyunjin looked shocked. He sat in silence for sometime, he looked up at me and asked, "Do you want this baby?"

I wasnt sure, I didnt know. "I want to talk with Felix about this and then take a decision" I said.

"Okay, we'll do that" he said calmly.

*Few Days Later*

Felix came back from his trip and was surprised to see Hyunjin staying in our apartment. I told him about my pregnancy. He was hurt and I knew that because Felix could never hide his emotions, not from me at least.

" Y/n honestly I really dont know what to say, I dont have words, but if you want this baby, then sure you can but that wont mean I would divorce you or anything, you know that. I'll be there for you during your pregnancy, if you want Hyunjin will be too, afterall he's the father of this child. So think carefully while making a decision."

I couldnt think straight, for me everything seemed so blurry, it felt as if I was inside a nightmare.

I thought for sometime and I decided to have this baby. I wanted to bring this child to life, and it wasnt because I wanted Hyunjin to know that I would choose our baby over Felix but because I didnt want to give up this life for our mistakes.

I was going to make sure this child was happy. And I would do that at all costs.

When I told Felix and Hyunjin, I would be keeping this baby, they were happy for me as always. Hyunjin was excited to become a father, Felix wasnt in good shape.

I tried to make sure I was beside him whenever he needed then and made sure he never felt as if I had abandoned him, because of this child, because Felix was just as a big part of my life as this baby was.

I was gifted with a beautiful baby girl on November 15th. She looked just like Hyunjin, with full lips, deep brown eyes. I loved her. I was crying when I first held her in my hands.

Hyunjin was with me throughout the prenancy just as Felix was. He would look after me when Felix went out to work. He showered me with love those past 9 months.

When he held the baby in is hands, he was crying, "Thank you Y/n, thank you for giving me this angel. I love you, I love this babygirl of ours." I smiled as I looked at him.

Felix rushed inside the room to take a look at me. He was concerned, I assured him giving him a soft peck. He took the baby form Hyunjin and looked at her with not only warmth but love.

Hyunjin named here Erina.

We spent the next 3 years living together. Erina was growing pretty quickly, the baby who was just so small and tiny was now starting to talk and walk. She loved playing with her father. Hyunjin would take her out to the park sometimes and walk with her while telling him stories.

Felix was an amazing father too, Erina called him "Dadda, he would get Erina plush toys whenever he came back home from work and he would take her out to her favorite playground, playing with her while she smiled brightly.

Everything was going well. I had a beautiful daughter, the love of my life was always there beside me and the person whom I was always thankful to was always there for me.

I was finally happy. We all were, we shared countless happy memories. I felt as though I finally had a perfect family, though we were different from all ordinary families, I was still happy for this place I called home.

Until 2 years later we found out Hyunjin was suffering from emphysema. His conditon wasnt good. He would wake up gasping for air at night, he would cough out blood sometimes.

It was terrifying to see the love of your life suffering in front of you.

We got him to the doctor but he said his condition wasnt good and surgery wouldnt fix anything rather it would be a risk for him. He didnt have much time left.

I spent everyday with him, Felix understood me, he took care of Erina for me. I hugged Hyunjin tight when he would apologize for having to leave too soon, I cried with him when he would feel miserable for not being able to spend enough time with his daughter, I held him in my arms when he blamed himself for all this. I stayed up all night, afraid that he would leave me anytime soon.

Until he left me, left us, one morning as he lay in my arms coughing out blood looking pale and breathing his last breath. I screamed with pain when he laid restless in my arms. I cried like crazy when he stopped moving, I shaked him told him to stay with me.

There's this immense pain that I felt when he left me, when I held the love of my life and sensed him leaving me, and I will always feel that pain whenever I would think of him. The memories I had created with him became scars for me, they shattered me.

I blamed myself for not letting him in when he came back for me, I regretted not spending time with him when he had time. Why had I wasted all this time not being with him? Why?

The most painful thing was to answer Erina when she asked where daddy was, she was 5 then and she was starting to understand, she missed him so much. My daughter, our daughter she was hurt too, not being able to see his father, not being able to be held in his arms as he walked her around it hurt her too.

Felix made sure Erina was okay, he took her out, he played with her, he would take her out to her favorite restuarant on weekends, read her storybooks as she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

He also made sure I ate properly, I was doing okay, he would sit beside me holding my hand as I would cry not being able to go to sleep.

I was suffering from pretty bad insomnia then. After Hyunjin left me I was suffering I wasnt mentally stable, I wasnt a good mother at that time and maybe thats why my daughter was taken away from me.

Erina died of breast cancer at the age of 7. I lost my precious daughter. I lost part of why I was alive. I lost all hope for living. I wanted to run to Hyunjin and hug him, cry, but thats the thing about life nothing goes the way you wanted. So I went to his grave and I cried out. I cried so hard that I felt as if Iwas going to die.

I lost all that I had owned.

Though Felix was always there, always. He cried with me when I lost Hyunjin, when I lost Erina, he held me tight in his arms as I lost the half of me.

Thats the thing about Felix that still amazes me. Just how he had loved me even though I had never given him a child of his, when I had a child with someone else. He still loved me when I held Hyunjin in my arms when he took his last breaths. He loved me all this time, through all of downs and ups, he loved me when I was bad, when I was good, when I was an awful mother, when I was an awful wife he loved me still then.

I lived till this day thinking about all the love that I had received from Felix. I'm still living for him. And I know my daughter and the love of my life they are watching me from above and I hope they know how much I love them, how much I miss them, how much I still cry for them.

This was my story as a mother, a wife and a lover.

[bahngray]

Chapter 4 will be out a little late today, sorry for keeping you guys waiting.

-R