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Goal For Today : July 4th

25 hits Max.

Hits of my vape : 6/25

~ Thoughts throughout the day ~

01:30am - I’m sitting in bed, watching YouTube. I went an hour and 25 minutes between my last hit. I have to stay awake tonight since I work a night shift. I’m going to focus on cleaning up my room and just doing something that isn’t just sitting in bed hitting my vape back to back. My next goal is to go 1 hour and 26 minutes before I hit my vape again.

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I currently have 3 vapes. I bought the yellow and green one on June 26th. The purple one is one I bought on Friday the 13th. I’m going to make these vapes the last ones I buy for at least 4 months (longer if I can).

Breakdown of my goal

1 month - July 26

2 months - August 26

3 months - September 26

4 months - October 26

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First post everrrrr so here we go :D

I’ve been vaping for the past 4 years and I’ve tried to quit more times than I can count. I’ve done cold turkey, I’ve tried using the patch, the only thing that’s been helping has been nicotine gum. I’m slowly weening off of my vapes. I’ve been cutting back more and more each day. I started at 80-100 hits a day and yesterday I only hit my vapes 30 times. It isn’t great but it’s progress. Today I’m setting a goal for 25 hits max for the whole day. I’m already 3 hits in. I’m also trying to push the time between hits back more and more. Another goal I’m setting for myself is to go 4 months without buying a new vape. I bought my last ones on June 26th. I’m planning to use this account to hold myself accountable, set goals for myself and just find a community of other people wanting to quit but are struggling just like me.

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the things that bring me the most joy are the simplest: the feeling of climbing in to my own bed after a long day. the smell of coffee. a stranger being kinder than i expected. waking up to the sound of rain. the sound of a loved one's laughter. these simple joys are all i need.

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I cannot stress enough how important it is to do silly, frivolous things that serve no other purpose than making you happy.

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Confession time

🌷- you have a super sweet smile

🍄- Let’s hold hands & explore for hours

🌿- you don’t realise how beautiful you are

👋🏻- I wanna be your friend

🎧- you have great taste in music

🍒- you’re such a tease

🌎- why are you so far away?!?!?

🌶- I find you verrrry sexy

🌻- I could talk to you for hours

💐- you’re a total cutie

🍂- I wanna lay in bed and cuddle you

✌🏻- Netflix n chill?

🌸- I think about you a fair bit

🌞- I wanna make out with you

����- I’d totally fuck you

💫- I wanna talk to you but i’m too shy

🌈- we have lots in common

☂️-we have nothing in common

💥- you’re really damn annoying

🌧- I find your blog boring

🥀- you’re dead to me

👻- I wish I never met you

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“How do you know someone is for you? They bring peace you haven’t found anywhere else. They support your effort. They water your growth.”

— Unknown

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“I no longer have to set myself on fire to keep other people warm.”

— Sade Andria Zabala, You Make Me Feel Human

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“Someone who is worthy of your love will never put you in a situation where you feel you must sacrifice your dignity, your integrity, or your self worth to be with them.”

— Unknown

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“I am thankful for the difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I don’t want to be.”

— Unknown

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Normalize not forcing connections. If someone doesn't see the value in having you by their side, don't try to convince them.

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Friday, May 31, 2024

I’m just writing a little ramble about how I’m doing right now. I’m still in a cast but I have an appointment coming up to get it removed and hopefully I’ll be put in something I can walk in. I haven’t put weight on my right foot in almost 6 weeks. My legs shrunk a lot due to the muscle atrophy. I know this is gonna be a long process to being completely healed. I have to go to physical therapy which I’m nervous about but hopeful. I’m determined to get back to where I was or stronger. Ive been struggling mentally. It’s hard for me to not do as much as I used too. I know this is my negative thoughts speaking, I just feel like if I’m not constantly productive or doing something I’m useless or wasting time. It’s been difficult for me to just rest and heal but I’m trying to drill it into my head that my value isn’t equated to my productivity level. It’s okay to rest it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to not be okay. I’m going to try and focus more of my time and energy into my healing and growth. I feel like I’ve been really avoidant recently and just not wanting to just sit with what I’m feeling so that’s something I need to work on. Overall I’m alive. I’m not great but I’m not awful. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I just really want to get to a place where I feel like I’m living life and not just surviving it. I hope you all have been well and if you read this entire thing. I’m wishing you the absolute best and sending so much love your way. Life is hard but we got this.

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When I'm a pastor and I open my eyes and the rapture happened when I was giving my sermon

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you deserve the same happiness that you wish for others