baby-mama14x

[baby-mama14x]

Someone help me....

oh god, the nausea is insane. On 3 sets of medication and for the past few days i've still been throwing up and peeing myself as a result. The movements are making me nausea worse at the moment. I'm hoping as they get stringer it'll stop making me feel like i'm on a boat. HG is horrendous. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.... The constant nausea and vomiting is unbearable.

I've developed SPD again, so have to take it easy with things. No excessive cleaning, no excessive nesting.... because otherwise, i cannot physically move by myself. Can't walk, cant adjust myself whilst i'm sitting. It's liturally impossible. With Liam is was so bad i couldn't even walk without assistance. I really hope it doesn't get that bad again... Bought myself a support band anyway to help support my back if things do get bad. I cannot afford to be off work.

Speaking of which, i am TERRIFIED of leaving my job after maternity leave. We can't afford the childcare as it costs more than i earn so i haven't got a choice. But it'll be a huge change because we will only have one income. I'll have to apply for universal credits, i'll have to ask the council for help - whether that be housing benefits or gettinga council house. I hope it's the latter because we could really do with a 3 bedroom house now that baby 2 is on the way.

Oh! Speakign of which, we find out the gender today!! i'm so excited to find out what we are going to have. I'm really hoping for a girl. At the end of the day it doesn't matter because i'll be happy no matter what, but it would be lovely to have a boy and a girl :)

Wish my luck ya'll!! It's going to be one hell of a rollar coaster.

[baby-mama14x]

So i lost 3.5lbs in my first week! Im so happy! I really struggled this past week as i cant have more than 1 slice of bread a day, and cant have my lucozade! Im so glad i still had a loss. Heres to a new week!

[baby-mama14x]

Day 1! 

Today i’ve been feeling really crappy mentally. I’ve done alright with the diet... I had 2 wheetabix for breakfast and some popcorn for lunch (i know it’s naughty and not proper food). I just haven’t been interested in food to be honest, which is normal for me when i feel rough mentally. Not sure what we are going to do for dinner. We will probably have wraps.... But tbh i’m not even hungry. 

[baby-mama14x]

Fucking COVID!

Anyone absolutely pissed that they’ve had to cancel their baby plans due to covid? I’ve had to cancel my gender reveal due to covid and the stupid 6 people rule. We have 30 family members..... Covid isn’t going anywhere just like the flu isn’t going anywhere! These restrictions will only work temporarily! it’ll always go back up in the end. 

Just let me enjoy my pregnancy god freaking damn it! 

[baby-mama14x]

I lost my shit...

So yesterday was ROUGH. I was an emotional wreck as you can expect from any pregnant woman. But yesterday Liam really pushed my buttons and I lost my shit... I screamed at him and it really did scare him. I realised what I had done and just collapsed crying. We just sat there together crying, although he stopped crying way before I did. 

I feel like a terrible mother for screaming at him, i just couldn’t take the misbehaving anymore. I tried time out, i tried talking to him, i tried ignoring his behaviour... Nothing worked.

Lets hope things get better soon. Terrible twos are no feckin joke! 

[baby-mama14x]

Pregnant Again!

So i’m pregnant again! I’m feeling good about this pregnancy, but it’s strange, i don’t FEEL pregnant. No bump, my sickness medication is really helping and only feel super bad at night. 

The only thing that really sucks is the amount of weight i’ve picked up since lockdown. I’ve picked up 2 stone.... As someone who has recovered from an eating disorder; reaching this weight is one of my worst fears. I’ve never been this heavy (even whilst full term with Liam!)... 

It’s taken a huge knock on me mentally. I couldn’t stop crying yesterday! It’s mostly hormones but finding out i’m one point away from being medically obese certainly didn’t help!! 

So i had enough... I signed up for Slimming World last night and i’ll be blogging about that here too... Mostly to keep myself sane as i’m not very good at diets. But i know for my wellbeing and my baby’s i need to do this. 

Wish me luck! It’s going to be one hell of a roller coaster! xx

[baby-mama14x]

Fucking mumshaming

I’m sick of it! Why do people find it nessesary to mum shame?! If I feed my son a bottle of milk AFTER his meals instead of BEFORE that’s my fucking choice. I don’t have to validate my fucking choices to you.

If I give my son fruit juice with his meals instead of water, that’s my fucking choice. Yes it has sugar in it, so does the fucking puréed food you feed your child Donna!

If I have to work whilst my son has a cold, that’s what I have to do. I don’t see you paying my fucking bills! It doesn’t make me a bad mum. I work to make a living, so my son doesn’t grow up with his mummy scraping by. I want to give my son the life he deserves.

Stop. Judging. Other. Moms!

Co-sleeping, sleeping in a different room

Purée feeding, baby lead weaning

Dummy, no dummy

Juice, water

Cloth nappies, disposable nappies

People make different choices. It’s not your place to judge them and tell them they’re doing it wrong!

[baby-mama14x]

Why me? What have I done wrong?

Sorry this is long but I hate it when people make me feel like a piece of shit even though I haven’t done anything wrong 😭. I have huge confidence issues and I always try to make others happy even if it means making myself miserable.

I’ve been working through the holidays, only days I got off were Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s Day as they’re bank holidays so offices aren’t open.

I’ve told my husbands side and my side of the family several times, even joked that my hubby would get to experience what it was like for me staying home and looking after our son when I was on maternity. So I know I definitely told them.

Today my hubby just sent her a reminder text that I’ll be dropping him off at the normal time cuz he’s back to work tomorrow. She sent a message back saying ‘thanks for letting me know late again. Could you send me when your working and when your not? I had plans’. She knew we were both working and she knows exactly what my start times are at work as it’s the same every single day.

So she basically forgot and is blaming me for it. It made me feel like shit because no matter what I do or how many times I say things, I’m still in the wrong.

His family probably constantly bitch about me behind my back just like they do with my brother in laws girlfriend. They don’t respect people and constantly bitch about one another and act all buddy buddy when they’re face to face.

Honesty I hate being part of that family, I constantly feel left out, hated, and completely alone cuz whenever we go out with them they’re all getting shit faced while I’m sat there sober with my son. They never do activities where my son can actually be apart of or safe in the situation (they constantly play darts and drink for hours) so I’m sat on the sofa by myself trying to keep my son occupied even though he’s so frustrated that he can’t go anywhere, and when I try to put my son to bed when we’re at their house, they’re constantly walking in and out of the room and being loud, they don’t give a shit because they’re not the one that has to deal with the cranky baby. Then I get looks when I get frustrated, because my son won’t stop screaming and trying to get away and play. But I don’t feel like I can be rude and say no I’m not going because they’d use that as an excuse to bitch about me too…

Anyway my husband proceeded to tell her that we thought they knew as we’ve been speaking about it for the past 2 weeks. She responded with ‘yeah you said you were back to work tomorrow, but it’s sammiie, she needs to communicate more. It’s fine I’ll just tell the boys they can’t go anymore’ basically guilt tripping me into finding some other plans. What does she want me to do hold up a bright shiny light around with me saying I’m working every day? I don’t know how much clearer I can tell her cuz I’ve been telling them for the last 2-3 weeks that I’m working through the holidays.

I wish I could get a child minder instead of family to look after him but it costs £1000 a month and that’s liturally all my wages. Things get complicated when you ask family for help cuz they use it as a bargaining chip.

Theyre constantly judging my parenting, even though quite frankly they haven’t got a fucking leg to stand on. Had to go to work whilst my son had a cold - got told it’s my responsibility to stay home no one else’s, even though I could’ve lost my job as I’m in my probationary period. I tap my sons hand when he bites, got told by my sister in law ‘I’d never hit a child’ when quite frankly she nearly ripped her sons arm off dragging him around and pushed him back when he tried to get her attention whilst she was talking to someone. So wtf?

It’s very clear his family don’t like me, but what am I supposed to do about that? 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t want arguments, I don’t want people to dislike me but I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m doing my best to make everyone happy but it’s never good enough.

I’m probably being pathetic… sorry… if you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. Please don’t be harsh… I don’t think I can take much more…

[baby-mama14x]

Hello there! I’ve illustrated this very basic plant-milk-guide for those of you out there who have trouble getting into a dairy-free lifestyle.

I’ve included some options for how to use them – obviously, you can use any of these drinks for anything you like, depending on your personal taste!

Also, I’ve kept the nutritional info to a minimum (the info’s taken from nutrition facts.org or wikipedia) since I am not an expert. However, many plant milks are furthermore fortified with Vitamin B12, D or Calcium if you have any concerns about nutrients.

I hope that this is giving a good overview of popular plant-milks and encourages you to try them and find your favorite (my personal faves are a soy-rice blend or oat-milk) :)

Instagram: @mittel.praechtig (feel free to share, but please give credit!)

#GIVEPLANTSACHANCE

[baby-mama14x]

In a room full of people...

In a room full of people I feel completely alone. My son wouldn’t sleep. I tried cuddling him, tried laying him down, rocking him... nothing. Only way he would sleep is if he was cuddle by someone else. I feel like a shit mum. In a room full of people I see smiles and laughter and people having fun. But here I sit, feeling every emotion but happiness. I miss my Ouma, I miss having a normal Christmas, I miss being happy.

I feel fat.Enormous. I want to restrict, I want to puke. I don’t want to be here anymore 😭. I just keep thinking how can I fix this? How can I lose this weight? I have a deadline. I have 3 weeks to lose more than a stone. I have to do this. I just have to! I don’t care how I do it anymore. I’m desperate. There are no diets I can afford, so that’s out. I eat only once to twice a day, so that’s not making any difference. I don’t eat fruit, but I can have my capsules and jellies. I have to stop buying takeout. Do I cut out carbs? I don’t have much left without carbs. But if it means losing weight, I don’t care.

I need help but no one seems to care... I just want to be skinny 😭

[baby-mama14x]

Had an eventful couple of days! Liam Matthew born at 9:50 weighing just 5lbs6! After having to be induced due to him having a poo in the womb, after contractions his heart rate wouldn't recover so was rushed in for c-section. Still in a bit of pain, but getting there slowly :) xx so glad to finally have my baby boy ���

[baby-mama14x]

Not sure if this is the start of something... They're all over the place :/

[baby-mama14x]

One born every minute

2 weeks and 5 days left... Watching OBEM and surprisingly I'm not freaking out 😂.. I've cried a couple of times though..

Moving day was yesterday! Couldn't do much so unpacked alot.. My back, legs and hips hurt like hell afterwards. Tried to get up in the middle of the night to pee and I couldn't even stand at first, and walk without holding onto something... Freaking SPD is a bitch! 😩

[baby-mama14x]

Bagged myself a cold

3 weeks and 4 days left and I've managed to bag myself a cold. I was doing so freaking well too...

Cough, Running nose, headache, heartburn, acid reflux, vomiting, hot flushes... Just fml...

[baby-mama14x]

Got the crib finally sorted 😂 took me long enough!

[baby-mama14x]

Feeling lots of kicks today! 8 weeks left now! Come on Liam!!

[baby-mama14x]

Come on baby boy!! I want to meet you already! ♥️