azkabankiss

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imagine this:

Barty’s anigmus form is a bat and whenever he gets really tired during the day, he’ll turn into his anigmus form and shove himself into Evan’s hoodie pocket

everyone asks Evan, “what’s with the lump in your pocket? What’s in it?” And Evan just pulls out his sleeping bat boyfriend and the people get scared bc what kind of freak just has a bat?

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I reread Harry Potter every six months. My most comfortable fandom.

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Guys but like hear me out, what if Barty was traumatised in the intimate department, so he feels the need to oversexualise himself with his partners while actually not enjoying being so sexual, but instead treated so badly and almost like a sex doll by his partners who take advantage of that oversexualisation. But then him and Evan start dating and Evan sees right through this bullshit and when Barty starts dropping innuendoes etc, he just takes him in his arms and hugs him, saying that they don't have to do it if Barty doesn't want to, that this is not why he dates him and that intimacy is something to be enjoyed, and Barty just starts crying right there and then, and after actually enjoys intimacy for the first time in his life

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Villain f/o who you can be your true evil self with

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‘Real or not real’ but it’s barty post-imperio, his mind fractioning itself and now prone to hallucinations and bouts of amnesia, who looks to regulus to make sense of it all

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i love the idea that the skittles had their own adventures at hogwarts that were more chaotic than the marauders' but they're lowkey about it. like oh, you guys were the ones who put that giant squid in the lake? cool. barty is currently possessed by a 16th century demon pandora accidentally released. it hasn't done anything yet and he seems fine and we're late to potions so we'll deal with that when he starts levitating while speaking in a dead language.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BARTIUMUS CROUCH…

Junior

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barty who spent his time in azkaban, and his time under the imperius curse, working to get out to see evan again– evan who waited on barty in the afterlife forever

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Barty and Evan who never learned about Muggle things and so when they heard of a local Haunted House during October they thought it would be a house with poltergeists and ghosts. They went because they were bored, and when someone jumped out at them with a chainsaw, Barty punched the guy in the face while Evan kicked him in the shin.

Evan: Oh good, we knocked him out

Barty: *picking up the chainsaw* I don’t even think this thing is real. Do you think he knew, Rosie?

Evan: Naw, he’s probably just an idio—OH MY GOD THERES ANOTHER

They never did figure out why they got banned or where the ghosts were.

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Dreville Nasty (cute) Bully!Draco

Referenced the „Please don’t bully me, Nagatoro” cover

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bartemius crouch junior < 3

the one and only

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So true

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I just read through all of the puppy vet rosekiller and omg I need more what about nsfw scene where puppy barty is being disobedient and Evan had to punish him

Totally asking for a friend

nsfw. mdni.

(ty for reading that, it must have taken a year off your life! <3

this is pretty mediocre i feel like but hopefully it’s good enough — for now anyway as i might continue it another time)

evan comes out of the shower to find barty on the bed. he’s got one hands down his pants and with his other hand he’s twisting his nipple with his fingers, head thrown back over pillows, eyes shut, moaning, and none the wiser of evan being stood in the doorway, with his eyebrows furrowed. barty knows he’s not supposed to touch himself without evan being there, or without evan telling him to, and evan is angry with his disobedient puppy.

he waits til he’s stood right beside barty before coughing and startling barty so much that he wrenches his hand out of his pants and almost topples off the bed. before he can fall, evan clambers over him, pinning down his wrists and settling his ass, just wearing a pair of boxers, over barty’s crotch. “fuck. that was a quick shower,” says barty, smiling as if he might be able to get out of trouble with his charisma. evan glares down at him. “is that all you have to say for yourself?” he asks. barty swallows thickly, the amused look on his face has disappeared and he looks like a prey animal, looking up at evan with something close to fear. he’s disappointed in himself, for disobeying, or for being caught? “no, evan. sorry. i’m sorry.”

evan keeps his face straight. “you will be,” he says, grinding his hips down forcefully over barty’s hard cock. “oh, fuck,” barty groans before biting down on his lip, hard. “please,” he mumbles when evan continues to circle his hips. “tell me how it feels,” orders evan, complete serious, intent on getting barty wrapped around his finger again after his disobedient streak. evan can’t let barty get away with it.

“it feels good. so good,” barty tells him. “don’t stop,” he adds, and with that evan stops. “you don’t tell me what to do. you’re being a bad dog.” barty whines, writhing beneath evan who pushes him deeper into the mattress in response. evan continues, “you’re welcome to beg for it though, i like when you beg for it. that’s what good puppies do, they beg.” barty skin turns considerably red. “evan,” he utters in barely a whisper. “really wanna come—i’ll be good for you, I promise.” hm, evan pretends to consider. “i don’t hear much begging,” he says, but he slowly starts rolling his hips again, slow and painful. “please,” barty blurts, trying futilely to pull his wrists from evan’s hold. “please, evan. please.”

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the vet and puppy rosekiller is my guilty pleasure… more please 😓

nsfw. mdni.

puppy barty who is just so hungry and he desperately needs to suck on evan’s dick. he’s been huffing and complaining all day that evan won’t give it to him already, even for a minute, because evan’s been busy around the house. so barty just tails him around, watching him, getting more and more pent up about finally winning evan over and inevitably having evan give him what he wants. barty doesn’t understand why doctor evan is being so stubborn about it, barty could make him feel so good with his mouth. and then barty is so excited when evan finally sits down and lets barty get his hands on him that he almost chokes himself to death on evan’s cock so evan has to go get barty’s leash and attach it to his collar to control barty’s movements more and make sure his puppy isn’t being such a stupid cockslut

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insane ass tomarry book quotes we dont talk abt enough

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nsfw mdni.

vampire barty who can’t stop manhandling evan, shoving him into walls, onto the mattress, against furniture so that he can bite into his neck and drink hungrily for him whilst evan whines and complains about it hurting too much

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evan who doodled all over barty, barty who got the ones he loved tattooed– except his favorite (which was the last evan ever drew) because he was in azkaban before he made it to the tattoo parlor