aydanseon

[aydanseon]

i hope every single one of you who watched hometown cha cha cha know that the shot of hyejin throwing the bouquet up into the air was intentional. that the fact we don't see it fall to the ground is intentional. it's being thrown to audience. it's for us to catch. to give us the hope for a future filled with love in all its different forms. it's wishing the blessings of healing and growth and camaraderie and love upon us. we only have to reach out and catch it. i hope you all can catch it.

[aydanseon]

I think more than awareness of mental health issues, I hope HomeCha teaches people about empathy. How it really feels to be in another person's shoes.

To anyone pissed on the wife who cannot apologize for saying bad things to Dushik because her husband died. Have you ever lost the love of your life who you have promised your future with. Gone in a second and leaving you alone with your child. Until you understand how that feels - to have your whole world and future shatter, you'll never have to question why she didn't apologize.

To anyone questioning why Dushik is beating himself up because of something "petty." Then maybe you should try to care more. Because the more you care about people, the more devastated you get when they get hurt. The more you blame yourself and wished you could have done more for them. You get stuck with the what-ifs and the guilt eats you.

To anyone who has judged Hyejin for being so conscious of a "social standard" then you must have never felt embarrassed or ashamed that you are lower than your peers. Good for you. But try bending down and understand that there are unprivileged people who had their prides broken in pieces so now they have to defend themselves to others by continuously proving their worth.

We all hurt and form defense mechanisms differently. Even two people grieving manifest them in different ways. And that's what makes us human. So before questioning others, maybe try to practice a little more empathy and understand from their perspective.

[aydanseon]

Why do people keep screeming that it’s not dusik’s fault? Yes we get it, it’s not his fault.

The doha family — dusik blamed himself before he even met doha and his mum. He ignored his calls and then dude committed suicide. The writer did not force this story on anyone. It was literally dusik’s trauma that he keeps taking on the blame. Why are y’all mad that the writer chose to have doha’s family blame him? Like that is beside the point?!!!!

Dusik’s reveal felt underwhelming you say? But the show is called hometown cha cha cha, not the life of hong dusik. For the past 15 eps, the writer has chosen to tell the stories of gongjin people. And just like hwajeong’s, namsook’s, gamri’s, heyjin’s stories, hong dusik’s past and trauma is just yet another story. I think people find that the reveal was dragged and the reveal did not live up to the build up, but that’s only cause you’re looking at it from an outsider’s pov. And just like the stories of people suffering from mental health, not all stories are are as dramatic as you’d like it to be. Some traumas may seem trivial but we as an outsider should never invalidate someone’s trauma and that’s what the writer have been trying to show in this drama. That everyone has their own stories.

[aydanseon]

Personally, i feel the only person that must apologise is the lady who said dusik brings death when he was at his grandad’s funeral. I’m guessing that’s why and how he started blaming everyone’s death on himself. Oh and maybe doha too for the punch

From an outsider’s pov, yes seon-ah, doha and his mum shd’ve apologised cause there’s literally no excuse for their words.

From Dusik’s pov, an apology from them is not what he needs cause he already blames himself before any of them blamed him. What he needed to hear was that it’s not his fault (which doha did say) and that they no longer blame him (like what seon-ah did —- she doesn’t resent him anymore and tells him that he too can move on with life like how she has managed to)

Just my thoughts… and why i’m okay with the non apology. It’s just not the point of dusik’s story

[aydanseon]

Also not only was it Hyejin but everyone kept knocking at Dusik’s door ‘ till he couldn’t deny them anymore’

Aaargh … the layers in this show 👏😭

[aydanseon]

You can cry if you want. It must’ve been so hard for you. You must’ve hidden the pain deep down. You’ve been holding on to such a burden.

[aydanseon]

To those who have only started watching home town cha3, if u’ve seen others hating hyejin cause of the aegyo and not loving the fluff in ep11 and 12, please continue watching. It’s the calm before the storm

[aydanseon]

Okay so after watching episode 14, now we know that Hong Dushik and Hong Banjang (Chief Hong) are two completely different people. Chief Hong is a persona that he presented to others to hide the dark parts of himself. While Hong Dushik is the real him which he is desperately trying to hide with a mask.

According to Carl Jung, “the persona is obedience to expectations; it is the mask one wears to convince himself, and others, that he is not an altogether bad person. But one cannot go beyond the persona until he has incorporated into his character those darker character traits, this being the ‘shadow self’.”.

So when I rewatched the first episode and the ending scene where he introduces himself to Hyejin and he introduced himself not as Hong Dushik but as Chief Hong (his persona), it suddenly clicked on me that the scene has an even deeper meaning than just a simple introduction of his character. 

There’s definitely a significance as to why Hyejin is still not calling him by his real name. Because she still does not know the real him yet, with emotional scars and all. The real Hong Dushik is still hidden behind a facade he created because of guilt. The only time she said his real name was when they exchanged their ‘I love yous’ because that’s where we can actually see a glimpse of the real Hong Dushik with his vulnerability and sincerity.

P.S Someone should really do a Hong Dushik edit with The Truth Untold. 

[aydanseon]

A Journey to Healing

Has anyone watched episode 14 of Hometown Cha Cha Cha?

Are you guys frustrated? I’m not. On the contrary, I’m thankful.

First and foremost I want to praise the story-telling ability of Hometown Cha Cha Cha that has been nothing but amazing since the first episode. Thank you to Yoovely PD and writer Shin Haeun for giving nothing but their best to bring all of this to our life.

I have so much to say, so much to share, I’m trying my best to be honest and direct. Because this episode saved me.

The story of Hometown Cha Cha Cha, despite being adapted from a rom-com movie, doesn’t necessarily goes the same route as the movie. They bring the rom, they show the com, and while we’re enjoying all of that, they want to share something more important to us.

And that is life.

Life isn’t very black and white. Life has grey part, rainbow part, brown-ish part, blue and red part. It’s a spectrum of color going through the same direction.

Life is a journey to many of us. Hometown Cha Cha Cha is a journey to healing. A real one.

We started this series with our heroine, running in the morning. Little did we know, this scene gives us a snippet of what it meant to watch the show. To run, together.

Our heroine, Hyejin, found herself in a tight situation in the beginning of the story and saved her from it in less than an hour of the series. She’s the hero of her story. And probably, the hero to the whole series.

Her life changed and turned so much in the first episode and by the time the first episode ends, just like Dusik, we’re falling in love to the beauty of this series.

Now, the series has gone off for 14 episodes with many stories unfolding in each episode. From Hyejin, Ji PD, our landlady, the chinese restaurant owner, even Gamri haelmoni. We’ve seen their story. We’ve seen their fight.

But, what about Dusik?

In a journey of healing, the journey it’s about patience and determination. And more than anything is about support.

We were led by Yoo PD and Writer Shin to empathize with the Gongjin residents. We were asked to listen to what Hyejin is feeling in the first half of the series. We were reminded again and again that Dusik has something dark in the past that it’s that hard to talk about.

We were meant to be here for the sake of Dusik. Because Dusik, is not the hero, he is the person we need to save. All of us.

To heal, for many of us, is hard work. It’s not just going to the beach, feeling the breeze, and letting go of the burden. It’s about telling ourselves over and over again whether we are worth the happiness. It’s about blaming ourselves over and over again until we’re numb by it. It’s about knowing that people are still not over our mistake despite the effort we’re going through.

Everyone, not just Dusik, fighting an invisible battle. Some of us are strong enough to confront it, just like Hyejin and Hwajeong; but some of us hide it well, just like Namsook and Dusik.

Now we’re reaching the last two episodes of Hometown Cha Cha Cha with nothing but anger and frustration. Two episodes left but everything is still in the grey area.

The journey to healing is that hard.

Yoo PD and Writer Shin are letting us to be immersed in the world of Sikhye, two people who loves despite the hard ships they’re going through. And all of that are real. All the feelings they show are real. They’re also letting us to see the struggles from each of Gongjin residents first, to prepare us of what to come. Until it’s time for us to be there for Dusik.

Dusik can’t go through this alone. Sometimes, healing is not a one man’s work. It takes the whole village to work on it. It takes us, the audience, to look back and think, are we really ready? Because it’s not pretty. But if you’re okay with it, let’s work this out together.

Hometown Cha Cha Cha wants us to choose, when the time comes, when Dusik is ready, can we really be there for him? People with mental health problem take time to open up. You’re frustrated? Well they are in a deeper frustration. You don’t like it? Well, that’s okay.

So until it’s time for Dusik to share his story, let me just say, I’m here.

-

To everyone who is fighting a battle we never know, if it’s okay for me to share my feeling, I want to say you did a wonderful job. Take as much time as you need. And let us know if you need a helping hand. Maybe, we’re the Hyejin in your life.

[aydanseon]

I’ve rewatched episode 12 about 5 times now and i can honestly rewatch it 10 x more.

Aside from the aegyo (a dash of aegyo is fine but the way SMA did aegyo in the sunrise scene was so forced and so hard to watch sorry), everything that sikhye went thru as a new couple was relatable to me which is why i find this episode so enjoyable.

1. Hyejin’s bucket list included a pretentious fancy date at a museum - i personally have had these thoughts in my mind when planning dates with my past bfs, like fine dining etc. It’s not cause i’m fancy, it’s just cause

2. Dusik’s petty jealousy. Lol this i loved the most. KSH’s acting in that drumstick scene with SMA. Urgh i could repeat all day. And i for one have been that level of petty when in a new relationship lol. Jealousy disappears after a while though once we’ve settled in to the relationship. So it was a pretty fair and accurate potrayal of new relationships

3. Hyejin’s overthinking of dusik’s “yes, you too” after she sent 46 characters worth of text msgs. Lol haven’t we all been there before

4. editing this to add this point. The art course girlfriend during college convo at the musuem hahaha i did this and i still do this with my husband, and my husband reacts the exact same way

5. And lastly, i also earn more than my husband so to see that whole convo on doing whatever she wants with her money was pretty wholesome

Can’t wait for the next 4 episodes and waiting for ksh to show us more of his acting prowess in scenes revealing his trauma

[aydanseon]

Because he shed tears as he said “I love you”

Don’t we all have that moment in life? When things are great and we’re surrounded by beautiful people, but a part of us telling us that this is temporary, that we’re not meant to receive all this? But, we love it. We love it anyway.

Dusik looks at Hyejin with nothing but admiration and relief. It’s as if, when he is with Hyejin, he can rest. He can slow his heartbeat after a nightmare just because Hyejin slept beside him. He can be vulnerable just because Hyejin took care of him when he was sick. He can be clingy just because Hyejin likes it.

But, every time he notices that he is lowering his guard, he shuts his feeling immediately.

He was happy when Hyejin helped halmeoni Gamri with her aching tooth. He dried her beautiful shoe before giving it to her. But, instead of giving her the shoe directly and telling her what happened, he secretly hid it and lied. He’s happy, but he wasn’t ready for the affections that might follow.

He was excited to give Hyejin the cure to her neck pain. He carried it in his bag all day. But, instead of casually leaving the bag on her mailbox and leave, he had to tell her that it’s not a big deal. He’s excited, but he can’t let her know he did it willingly.

It used to be like that. But, it’s harder now. It’s harder to hold his feeling in place when she’s the reason he smiles. 

When he planned the surprise date, the romantic beach date, he was aware that he needs to lower his guard down. Because that’s the only way to feel her. With the sound of the wave and the breezy summer wind, he won’t be able to keep them up anyway. He’s willing to try to feel this moment with her. Even though that means he needs to hide his feeling.

He’s aware. Hyejin wasn’t.

Because she was overjoyed. Overwhelmed. The sound of the wave, the summer breeze, the romantic set up, she’s more than happy to show her feeling. She wants him to know her feeling. Her love. 

“Out of everything that exists in this world, I like you the most.”

And as Dusik admiring the face of his morning and night, his feeling told him to open up. For one night, let me be selfish it said. 

“I love you,” 

that’s his feeling.

And the tears that he shed, it’s his wall slowly crumbling down.

[aydanseon]

man ive been thinking so hard about the kiss in ep12 and its messing me up bc smth seemed so off. dusik looked at hyejin and kissed her like shes his world yes but at the same time there was something so inexplicably sad in the way he did it and said ‘i love you’ like— it was like an ‘i love you but im still struggling with some things, and i want to tell you but im not brave enough right now, and i hope you’ll still love me after’ and it HURTS

just think its wonderful how they made it very real. that you could fall in love and it feels like the most beautiful thing ever and like youve found your peace but sometimes your personal demons still linger and it makes everything more scary bc you have smth you really dont want to lose now

and i just wonder how hyejin will help dusik through it because it seems that whatever dusik is struggling with is heavy and painful and will definitely call for all the love and kindness and patience in the world, considering that hes never allowed himself to freely share his problems or forgive himself, with the whole thinking that its his fault all his loved ones passed away.

im sure that can mess a person up in terms of accepting love from another and i hope our best boy dusik comes to understand that he is deserving of love 😔🤚🏼

[aydanseon]

Du-sik imitating Hye-jin is never not funny

[aydanseon]

Shin Min Ah’s supremacy in portraying HyeJin in Hometown Cha Cha Cha

Shin Min Ah neither needs any introduction nor needs anyone to reiterate what a fantastic actress she is! Her portfolio speaks for herself. But this post is about my admiration for her. I have enjoyed every single moment of her portrayal of HyeJin. This is such a well written character and Shin Min Ah has brought HyeJin to life on screen with her nuanced performance. I absolutely love HyeJin and I have said earlier that’s because she is so real, so flawed, so relatable. She has her prejudices but she is quick to accept her mistakes, quick to apologise and learn. Her growth as a person in this series is what we all should aim for in our lives. I love her sincerity, I love that she loves her people with all her might and all she has to offer. There is no holding back. There are many scenes I have enjoyed , especially the confession scene which I wrote in my earlier post - https://kdramagab.tumblr.com/post/663436323347185664/kdramaramblings

But it was the realisation scene that simply blew my mind away. I have rewatched it multiple times. Shin Min Ah’s expressions steadily changed and I was in awe of her at every single moment of that scene.

The confusion as to how this person and his words were changing her outlook to life.

The slight blush appearing on her face reminiscing how his looks had charmed her from their first meeting .

The slight smile thinking of his little gestures for her and realising how he had started encroaching her rigid heart.

The worry thinking about him hurting from inside, he who had bared his deepest fear when drunk.

The realisation that he had become her person, she felt safe in his arms and he would risk anything for her.

She had finally found what she was searching for , her heart had found its home in his heart and she was all in - heart, mind and soul. She had to head back to him and let him know.

All this time she knew she was slowly getting attracted to him, but her heart was fighting her own mind; the guy she is falling for doesn’t fit the criteria of the guy she thought she would settle down with. The guy who fits the bill is in front of her, who was also her crush in college and has now confessed to her that he likes her, but she is clear in her head that she has no feelings for him anymore - her heart only belongs to DuSik. She has known it for long, but this is contrary to all her beliefs in life - of having equal ‘social positions’ to avoid hassles later. So she heads to Seoul to clear her head of his thoughts, but she can’t - at every step she is only thinking of him. Then it starts to rain and she remembers him telling her to enjoy the rain, soak in the unexpected. That’s what she has done - DuSik is the unexpected situation in her life and she is doing just what he told her to - welcoming him with her heart and soul.

[aydanseon]

dushik and his habit to talk informally to people regardless age and gender

he's been all alone in his life since he was young, and in fact, he hasn't got any guardian since in middle school. not like other kids in gongjin who might only have one parent like juri or ijun, for dushik, there really wasn't any family left for him.

his mom, his dad, and even his one and only grandpa left when he's just a little boy. so he wouldn't know how to treat adults properly. he probably didn't know how to build relationships other than theories.

and he may think that, if he wants to live like a family by the people around him, he should've talked informally, acted cute, helped their work, interferred with this and that; because that's just how others treat their family in common.

afterall, i think it's not really his defense mechanism at all, it's just the way he wants to be close to everyone like how he wants a family by his side again.

in fact, hong dushik real personality is not as bubbly and as fussy as chief hong. but he, who is all alone in this world, might have thought that he had no choice but to tried hard to get along and fit well with others too.

<3

[aydanseon]

Hometown Cha Cha Cha : Episode 9 and 10 ramblings.

I’m delirious with joy today after watching episodes 9 and 10 this weekend. The writing in the drama is touching the right corners of my heart and mind and I’m blown. I expected the actors of their calibre to nail the characters, but the writing and direction has been picture perfect. This drama is ethereal.

DuSik and HyeJin have their second big moment ( the hug after the drunken kiss) and when they come to their senses, they crap talk about their country’s phones and IT powerhouse 😂😂 And they both can’t sleep - which was hilarious to watch!

Gif credit @dingyuxi

The meet the parents gave lots of palpitations, especially to those viewers from cultures where we do not address elders on first name basis or informally. But it plays out nicely - how the step mom takes to DuSik from the moment he introduces himself as the boyfriend. The dad takes time, but he is realising what a gem his daughter has found; until his own prejudices and guilt leave everyone hurt. But HyeJin is his daughter - as stubborn and defends the shit out of her man and I loved , loved her in that. You are my dad and I respect you, but no one gets to talk shit about my guy.

How similar are Dad and HyeJin as DuSik points outs , accept their mistakes immediately. How genuine both these people are and DuSik sees that immediately. He could have been resentful - cause those words are so harsh to hear. When it’s not your fault or you get blamed for your loved one’s death. The stigma of being an orphan and being told so at every step of your life. He has his own internal trauma to deal with but he doesn’t let it impact others. And HyeJin’s dad realises this and gives him his blessing - implying that stop friend zoning her - you could be the guy she deserves. Be the one she wants.

Did you all notice how HyeJin is clear in her head, after spending an entire day with him and her parents; she follows him to his boat because she wants to know him, she wants to be with him, she wants to grab the little moments they can have together. She knows she wants him. I was yelling DuSik talk to her. Open up and let her in.

Kim Seon Ho’s acting in the episode 9 epilogue - I wanted to rush and hug my TV screen and calm him and tell DuSik, you have your person now, she won’t leave you. She will be with you.

And then he is there to save her from the stalker, takes the knife for her because he can’t see her hurt and he was afraid. I’m so glad he took her home and they spent the night talking and he opened up - slowly but steadily. And how beautifully , without any melodrama, without long narratives or emotional hooplah - the ever practical HyeJin pulled DuSik out of his guilt. That he should not be blaming himself for his grandpa’s death - if his grandpa learns he will be fuming in his grave. And the subtle wiping of tears from both. Shin Min Ah and Kim Seon Ho are delivering one master class after another in expressions and emotive acting. With such ease and finesse - two highly accomplished and talented human beings - what a privilege it is to watch them onscreen.

I have said this before - I will buy every audiobook that Kim Seon Ho reads.

(https://kdramagab.tumblr.com/post/662621206574399488/kdramas-have-a-huge-pool-of-talent-be-it-the )

DuSik reading to HyeJin to put her to sleep and calm her anxiety - may god bless every woman in this world with her own DuSik.

DuSik could have grown up resentful for being chastised all his life for being an orphan and the stigma it carries, but his village folks embraced him like their own - took care of his fragile heart and showered love on him. He feels obligated, but they don’t treat it as duty, because they love him and they will always be there for him. They will love and accept who he loves - how they came out today and cared for Hyejin. He was happy and jealous of it at the same time. And then turned up at his place with truckloads of food for his grandpa’s memorial service. HyeJin’s dad need not worry - HyeJin has found her loving family that he wanted her to have.

How beautiful was the memorial service. How he does not forget to put the food she bought from the market citing it was his grandpa’s favourite - her broad smile that lit up her face!

The innocence in her introduction to grandpa - I hope we get along. I’m going to take care of your boy and you don’t have to worry - that’s what I read it as.

Organically peeling crabs for DuSik to eat. It’s lot of effort to peel crabs, one would do it only if you love someone. Heart stopped for both - because the cat is out of the bag and screaming ‘meow meow’ at the top of its lungs.

Gif credit @ahsung

DuSik chatting about his ‘friend’ to his grandpa and confessing how much he is in love by saying - ‘The house feels empty the moment she is not around’ . At that moment I was at peace, knowing that he will not reject her when she confesses to him. He will not push her away. He will accept her, share his trauma and heal with her help. Oh DuSik you have my heart!

Gif credit @becomeundone

HyeJin goes to Seoul to clear her head and thoughts but DuSik and GongJim are ruling her mind. She knows - she has always known - she looks at the key she holds to her heart. It’s time to go and open the door.

In my earlier post - I had said she would be the first one to confess (https://kdramagab.tumblr.com/post/662873727688753152/kim-seonho-is-making-me-fall-in-love-with-him-all )

Is this the most pure and raw confession in KDramas we have seen? It has to be - I know we are poles apart , our outlook to life is different, we are incompatible, but hell to that because I like you. I am not expecting you to say anything, the feelings for you were inflating my heart and it would burst any second and I couldn’t help it anymore. HyeJin who had lectured him on ‘social positions’, HyeJin who is a conformist, HyeJin as I said in my earlier post is not complex. She is all in or all out and she is all in for DuSik! And thank you Dusik for opening your heart to her, for accepting your feeling for her and hers for you. Shin Min Ah in this scene was brilliant - the slight fear that showed on her face when he pulls her hand down from his lips and then the booming smile and happiness in her eyes when he confesses back!

Kim Seon Ho and Shin Min Ah ‘s kiss was so tender, passionate, beautiful and mesmerising to watch. So full of emotions it filled our hearts with happiness. It is right up there with Armitage and Denny Ashe ‘s in North and South

Gif credit @ingukk

I never thought any KDrama couple would give me goosebumps like Ji Chang Wook and Nam Ji Hyun gave me when I watching Suspicious Partner. Kim Seon Ho and Shin Min Ah sit right at the top now 😍

[aydanseon]

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