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arrival of dawn

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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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what’s happening with santa

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is there actually anything more irritating than depression apathy… like why am i sitting here arguing with myself “i kinda wanna play a video game but i kinda don’t because, what, i’m just gonna boot up a game and play it and have fun and close it when i’m done? get real”

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"Somebody replied to you..."

Some of the nicest words I've ever read.

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But now we must pick up every piece of the life we used to love Just to keep ourselves at least enough to carry on

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affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments

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You know how people sometimes get a cat by just having a random stray cat with no collar and no chip walk in and sit on the couch like "yo fucknuts I live here now", and the people just go "well fuck, guess I gotta go get a litterbox then."

Now consider: Humans doing that to the fae. Not being captured by the fae folk, not taken against their will but stubbornly walking in to their realm and refusing to leave before one of them agrees to take this damn creature. Faeries telling each other "naww come on, you can't make it leave, it already ate your food. Everyone knows you gotta keep them if you've fed them."

And another faery yells back "I did not fucking feed that thing, it climbed into my pantry and was eating flour straight out of the bag!"

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by jeremy ville

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sometimes in order to be happy you have to be a little delusional

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me as a writer

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Overly personal thoughts under the cut because I have no where else to put them right now.

(If you know me in real life please don’t read this)

I left my six-year long relationship at the end of this week.

I’ve told five people about it so far, and four of them have said some version of “I’m really sorry to hear that but I’m not overly surprised based on X thing you said 2-3 years ago.”

I already felt bad but it just makes me feel so much worse. I genuinely felt like I was trying. Like I tried past the point where it made much sense to, honestly. But if everyone around me could tell I wasn’t in it, god, what must that have felt like for her this whole time?

I don’t know what to do about it. She wants support so badly right now and it feels wrong to not give it to her, but also feels so cruel to remain in her life in any way that will give her hope.

I’m really struggling and I know that’s part of the process. But I wish I could skip the part where I feel so horrible as a person. Which I can’t because then I wouldn’t grow in any way but… it’s only been a few days and I’m already so tired of waking up feeling like this. And I’m scared I’m going to decide to go back just to stop feeling like this, and I absolutely cannot

(I won’t. I just don’t trust myself after not listening to my own feelings for years).