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avvm4dsxx · 23 days ago

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I have been struggling so so hard to write my characters and I couldn’t figure out why until now

For some reason I had lost who i originally wanted Evelyn to be and it makes me sad!! I had made her into some snarky, brave heroine when that wasn’t who she was. She was giving basic Disney Princess. (Like Anna and Moana type beat) (no offense to those characters it’s just used too often) when she was supposed to be a super nerdy awkward teenage girl with a really bad anxiety disorder

I made her because I used to have really REALLY bad anxiety and I hated that fantasy media had teens who weren’t scared to face anything. (Take luz from Owl House or literally the Stranger Things Cast for example) It made me feel disconnected from everything and I couldn’t get into it.

Giving Evelyn an anxiety disorder that made her life much harder than usual and intergalactic powers and a government that wanted her dead called for such interesting chemistry!! Evelyn does become brave eventually but she is so terrified of everything for the longest time. I wanted to write her trying to balance school, friends, jobs, learning how to drive, and overall just learning how to be a person when her brain convinced her the world was always ending.

It’s why Aelius is her best friend. She doesn’t understand him sometimes because he’s so chill about everything all the time. But that’s why they’re friends; Aelius brings Evelyn down so easily. He constantly reminds her not everyone hates her and that her life isn’t over. He doesn’t even have to try, really. She’ll make a comment about being scared or nervous and he will just point out the obvious instead of coddling her.

I think I lost who she was because I was so focused on making her who I wanted to be and that is not what she was for. It gave her little to no flaws. I lost my nervous obsessive little freak!

Plus, a big part of her arc was finally finding friends and getting everything she ever wanted when she decided to stop hiding and to be herself.

I lost the plot chat 😢