i hope i frustrate you and you think about me a lot
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𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒐𝒏.
he wished it too, of course. her laughter is intoxicating, and her smile produces such a sickly sweet sensation in his belly that he wants to pounce on her now, regardless of what lady danbury or the ton had to think. this was their engagement, this was their marriage, and anthony failed to see what business anyone outside of the viscount and future viscountess had to do with their marriage.
“ have i now, miss sharma? ” he teases, though shies away at the sound of lady danbury’s cane. too close, he imagines her saying. god, two weeks was far too long —— how was he to survive that long without the taste of her on his lips? without the feeling of her delicate fingers weaving their way through his dark hair? her touch was like an oasis in a hot desert, and anthony had been traveling for far too long. two weeks for that relief was torture. “ so do i —— but we don’t have long to wait now. i suppose if we went those weeks before this, we can hold out a touch longer? ” his hand rises to brush a stray curl from her face, but there was that cane again —— it takes all he has in him not to shoot her the dirty look that settles on his features. “ this is really teaching me that i am a less patient man than i originally found myself to be. ”
her whole household is abuzz about the upcoming wedding. whenever she walks in the door she is bombarded with questions about colour schemes, flower arrangements, and dresses. kate has found it all much easier to leave up to her mama and violet bridgerton, who seemed all too happy with taking up the task. which, naturally, left only lady danbury to chaperone as the two mamas busied themselves. a task kate is sure the lady is positively thrilled by. it had taken edwina a little longer to warm up to the wedding, her own having been a disaster, but now she’s met the charming mr bagwell all her reservations seem to have gone out the window. kate is pleased to see her sister is finally, truly, happy.
as is she.
❝ you speak as if such a feat should be easy. ❞ she can feel the blush decorating her cheeks at his touch. the spot where his fingers, ever so gently, made contact with her skin on fire. the memories of the night they shared in the bridgerton gardens come rushing back and kate is forced to look away. such thoughts would be improper before the wedding, and yet she finds herself lost in them most nights. the anticipation for the wedding night already high. ❝ oh - you are only just finding this out about yourself now? jaanu, i could have told you that the very day we met. ❞ though she will admit that the sound of the crane trailing behind them is unnerving. she doesn’t need to glance behind them to see the sour look on lady danbury’s face. ❝ i am sure our chaperone will be relieved when we are finally married. ❞
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𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒕.
𝕚f only her affluence could carry her , surely she would be better respected . but acquiring a husband is the chief most task a lady is given and that allison refuses it is quite the scandal . on top of this , of course , is the loss of her mother only recently , the mystery of it inspiring lady whistledown to partake in a rather morbid tale - spinning of whodunnit . allison is uninterested in this as well . kate , at least , is a welcome distraction . ❝ you are so right , dear friend . ❞ a measured and purposeful pause . ❝ do you speak of a particular man ? ❞
often times kate feels as if she has found a kindred spirit in allison. another who doesn’t feel the need to be governed by society’s standards. who does not have need for a husband, and does not care for the marriage mart. and, of course, kate shares her sympathies in losing a parent. it may have been five years since her appa had passed, but the pain continues. she could not even think to imagine how much harder it would have been if lady whistledown had thought to take to her pen back then. but it does not feel proper to mention such things. ❝ i have come to find that many men are like the other. ❞ she ignores the look allison gives her, because of course she has a certain man in mind. a certain bridgerton whose gaze she cannot seem to shake. ❝ i would like to see you spend an afternoon with edwina’s many suitors and not come to the same conclusion. they are simply impossible creatures who think that all a woman cares for is pretty things and empty words. least we have a brain about us! ❞
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𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒚.
“ your new position suits you, @aviscountess. ” if anyone in town was capable of becoming viscountess bridgerton, it was her friend kate. she seemed happy there, much happier than her sister may have been. “ and your duties? how are you finding them? ”
the spread laid out before the two women is impressive, if kate does say so herself. small cakes and pastries laid out on china plates that, of course, match the teacups that hold kate’s favourite kind of tea. nothing but the best for a dear friend coming to visit aubrey hall. ❝ there is still much to learn, but the dowager viscountess - violet has been most gracious in helping me. ❞ a smile plays across her lips. kate had never envisioned this life for herself and yet, as alice had said, it seems to suit her. though, perhaps, that has something to do with the man she now calls her husband. ❝ and what of you? any news you wish to depart on a dear friend? ❞
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𝒆𝒖𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒕𝒛𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒕.
EUGENE LETS OUT A SLIGHT TSK. eyes glancing over at the room full of twirling people. not to long ago he would make plans on how to get the pretty letting bracelets off the wrists of his partners or make bolder grabs for the necklaces and tiaras. but not too long ago he had to learn to squash those temptation. he technically didn’t owe anything to edmund. or at least that’s what eugene had convinced himself. it wasn’t as if the man had raised him. even if it was against the man’s will. he’d thought his son was dead. but edmund had brought eugene in despite his past. and it wouldn’t be fair to tarnish the poor man’s name. he supposed he did enough of that by simply existing. ❝ they say my parents had a love match. and what is it that does trouble you? ❞
she’s decided she doesn’t like this man. not that kate is inclined to like many people outside of her immediate household. she resolves, then and there, that if this is simply a ploy for him to get close to edwina then he has no chance at all. ❝ as did mine, but that is neither here nor there. ❞ back straightens, hands are clasped firmly in front of her, and features remain stoic. a love match - that is what she wants for edwina. what she once, many years ago, wanted for herself. it is hard to remember a time, now, where she wasn’t so dedicated to her family. where putting her own wants and needs first didn’t feel so selfish. but she shakes those thoughts away, as she always does, and turns her icy gaze back to eugene. ❝ you have a reputation for being a rake, sir. i can not risk my family’s good name by entertaining a dance with you. ❞ she will not put edwina’s happiness at stake.
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𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒐𝒏.
all his. kathani bridgerton was all his . . . he felt like he’d waited for an eternity for her, that his soul was sleeping, and that her presence in his life was like the dawn —— something sure, something that symbolized hope, something that signaled to him that it was time to arise. and how glad he was that he had risen to her sun. “ oh, i can already imagine the scandal. ” anthony grins, hands settling gently against her hips, leaning forward to press kisses against her cheek and jaw. “ fine, a few moments more. but then we make a break for our honeymoon carriage. i don’t think i can stand to share you for another moment longer. ”
a gentle hum falls from her lips. eyes closing as she allows herself a moment to enjoy his touch. this, she suddenly seems to realise, will be the rest of their lives. allowed to be close, to show their feelings unashamed and unafraid. it brings a large grin to her lips. ❝ one more scandal surely would not hurt. ❞ there’s a teasing glint to her eye. after all, they’ve already caused so many. what’s one more? she’s found that as long as she has anthony by her side, kate pays no mind to the chatter of the rest of the ton. perhaps that’s why she’s found the night to be boring. she’s been longing to be by his side the whole time. she presses her cheek against his, so close she’s able to breath in his scent. ❝ let us go now. i cannot wait any longer. ❞
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𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒐𝒏.
the squeeze of her hand soothes him in a way that he never thought possible. he always felt unsettled being here, at the resting place of his father. a man that was gone far too soon, one that should not have been taken down by something so minor. it upsets anthony to know that he’s finally seeing some common ground with miss sharma on something so tragic —— but it’s causing him to see her in a light he never thought possible. someone who cared, someone who just wanted the best for her sister. someone who acted in the exact way he did for the exact same reasons. though it pained him to think about it, perhaps they were more similar than he initially thought.
and as she continues to speak, anthony finds himself understanding her once again. he too took on that responsibility. he gave up his own happiness for his siblings. he could only hope it worked. he tried so hard to be their brother, but often took on the responsibilities of father and viscount alongside it. he has barely rested since he was 18 years old. “ i’m . . . terribly sorry, miss sharma. ” kate, he almost calls her, but holds his tongue. it is miss edwina sharma he is courting, not her eldest sister, not the sister who currently sits beside him, who understands him better than anyone he’s ever met. no, it is not her, and it never will be her. “ you’ve clearly done a good job. i can tell you mean a great deal to both of them. ”
in that moment she truly realises how much the trip had changed her opinion on the viscount. kate was so sure she knew who he was. a rake. a dishonourable man who could not make her sister happy, nor give her the life she deserves. now, she knows, she had misjudged. they had more in common than she could have ever realised. a thought that, in fact, was rather frightening. that threatened to unleash others she had been pushing deep down. that she had been trying so desperately to escape since the sting of the bee. her heart had been pounding ever since, something that had not been helped by the storm. all of which had lead her here, to this moment with the viscount. kate did not believe in fate - but this was a good argument for it.
she nods her head in response to his words. it is hard to speak of, perhaps that’s why he’s the only one outside of her family who she had opened up to. ❝ thank you, my lord. ❞ her words are quieter then she would have liked. betraying the emotion that swirls within her. the sadness at how her family had suffered, the pain of missing her appa, and the terror that they, still, could be left destitute. all too much for him to understand. he may share her pain in losing someone, but he could not know the fear of seeing one’s family become homeless. ❝ they mean a great deal to me, too. as i am sure your family mean to you. ❞
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𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅.
Robin didn’t have to think too hard about it. ‘ Aye. ’ Trouble was trouble, wasn’t it? Unlike some people in this fine country, he didn’t stop and think when he heard a fuss. He just helped. Even now that he saw, by the state of her dress, that she probably didn’t need much of the help he usually offered. ‘ I hear anybody yelling and kicking up a fuss, I’m of a mind t’see what t’issue is. ’ A pause. Robin glanced about, as if he might be able to tell why in the world she might be out here all alone at such a time. He tried to imagine what Marian might be doing in such a position. ‘ Out for a walk, was you? Y’know there’s bandits and such close-by, aye? ’
❝ a ride, if you must know. ❞ kate can hear the huffiness in her voice. she isn’t one to be fussed over, or to play the damsel in distress. she’s always prided herself in being able to take care of everything on her own. this will be no different. she will find her horse and return home, all before her family even notice she’s gone. ❝ i am sure my horse could not have gotten far. ❞ though his talk of bandits did give her cause for concern. she hadn’t thought of such things. always felt safe amongst the trees. though she did not carry coins on her rides, she’s sure that she would still be in danger. she takes a step back, eyes narrowing. ❝ and how am i to know that you are not one of these bandits? ❞
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𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒐𝒏.
he thought that maybe they’d moved past all their struggles —— weeks of convincing kate that he wanted her, that he should be with her. after finally convincing her, he thought it might be easy —— and now, this bomb was dropped on him. her hesitance we clear to him now —— her insistence that he marry edwina, despite the fact that she wanted a love match, and anthony could not give it to her. no, her family needed money.
of course, anthony knew his family’s wealth was the reason many of the ton’s ladies all but threw themselves at him. but kate . . . kate was different. or so he thought. no, she was. it was clear by the dinner that just took place that the sheffields were mean, pitiful. he knew kate cared for him. but still, there’s a pit in the bottom of his stomach, one that did not lift when he saw her again —— “ kate. ” she’s beautiful —— even now, following one of the most disastrous dinner parties in all of history. “ why did you keep this a secret from me? why did you . . . ” he stops talking, an attempt to keep himself from rambling, but his eyes seek hers, pleading for a response.
her heart is beating at an unhealthy rate. so hard and fast she is sure anthony could hear it from across the room. she should have expected the night to end in such a disastrous way, but had foolishly hoped it would not. that is his problem - he makes her want to believe in all things good and true. but the universe doesn’t work that way. it is cruel and unforgiving, and now kate might lose the only person she has ever felt her soul truly connect with. it’s enough to bring tears to her eyes. ones that she hastily wipes away. crying will not help. she has to make anthony believe that her love is sincere and true.
❝ i did not want edwina to know the truth. ❞ perhaps a weak excuse, but true all the same. even her mama did not know of their true intentions in returning to london - only lady danbury. ❝ i did what i had to do to keep my family from becoming destitute. i did not expect - ❞ she swallows painfully, her throat dry despite all the wine that had been drunk. ❝ you must believe i had no intention of any of this happening. i wished for edwina to find a love match despite it all. if money was truly my only goal do you not think i would have consented to your match at the earliest opportunity? you - you made it impossible. ❞ and now she is the one engaged. an unexpected twist, to be sure. ❝ you found your way into my heart and now i could not expel you even if i so wanted to. ❞
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𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒆𝒔.
she had been in many a fine london home, and performed under more than a few illustrious roofs. but this was her first time in bridgerton house. the family’s name was one of the most talked about of the ton. one or two of the brothers – though, admittedly, she could not just then recall which – had even earned some interesting reputations of their own amongst her circle… regardless, she could not pretend she was not the slightest bit curious about the family that so often found its name in the scandal sheets. it was, perhaps, one of the few things they had in common.
of course, their ability to pay was no small draw either…
but such reflections remained firmly in check when she spotted her hostess. “ lady bridgerton, ” she said, wearing the engaging smile she’d crafted precisely for these situations. “ thank you for the invitation. i hope my performance will live up to your expectations… ”
@aviscountess gets a starter!
kate remembers how anthony had balked when she told him about her evening at the opera. how herself and her companions ( the dowager viscountess and her mama ) had been utterly charmed by the young lady’s voice. she had noticed the relief in his eyes when he did not recognise the name of the lady kate had invited to sing in their own hall. she had known of his past as a rake, assumed the misbehaviour he had gotten up to, but something about it had struck her as odd. different. still, it was not the fault of her guest.
❝ it is my pleasure. ❞ a friendly smile takes over her lips. ❝ you have a beautiful voice, i am sure you will leave all our guests enchanted. ❞ she’s not much of a singer herself, though she’s able to carry a tune well enough. ❝ there will surely be many in attendance who will be overcome with jealousy. ❞
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𝒅𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕.
it had become a shamble of a wedding. daphne had tried to get her brother to see reason, that some times duty should be the last thing on ones mind especially if the heart belonged elsewhere — before he found himself in a situation he could not get himself out of. alas her wisdom fell on deaf ears. the duchess had seen slivers of it before she had caught them a mere breath a - part. daphne knew what love looked like — mistaking kate for edwina outside aubrey hall due to the rising heat that she could feel from mere feet away. daphne was no fool … & neither were they. though they played the part exceptionally well.
she had left her family for a moment, not entirely sure where she was heading — perhaps to attempt to do damage control, perhaps to find one of the sharma ladies … her feet found kate. ❛ ❛ my apologies, miss sharma. i shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that. ❜ ❜ hands clasped before her stomach, head nods in apologetic fashion. the duchess moved further into the room, eyes trained on the elder sister. everyone was running around aimlessly, searching for answers in both a physical & spiritual manner. oh what a day this turned out to be.
daphne reached kate in mere moments, eyes looking at the guests outside. no doubt gossiping already, no doubt lady whistledown had her quill at the ready. the young woman takes a breath, eyes close. does she speak as a sister or as duchess ? ❛ ❛ i think anthony the fool, if i am being honest. it should have never gone this far. ❜ ❜ a harsh truth didn’t mean it was any less true. anthony & edwina should never have been at that alter, but it happened — there was little else they could do about the growing scandal other than take control of it.
❛ ❛ love — it’s a funny thing, miss sharma. it has a habit of taking one by surprise. what is to happen now ? ❜ ❜
kate thinks herself foolish, even if daphne does not. thinks back to the dinner with the sheffields, to their meeting in the woods the morning afterwards. she realises, now, he was wanting her to give him permission to stop it all. they would never be able to be together, it would be too much of a scandal, but it would save them from a life of agony. their feelings didn’t matter, she told herself, because she was going to india. she had been too proud to admit to herself that if he had just asked maybe she would have agreed to stay. to spend her life with him, instead. but that was nothing but a fantasy. could kate have truly done that to her sister? no, all she had ever wanted was for edwina to be happy. she thought anthony would give her that.
❝ perhaps not. ❞ maybe she should be happy at the duchess’s words, but they only seek to make her feel worse. it’s not all his fault, kate must take a share of the blame for all that had happened between them. a shaky breath falls from her lips. fingers find her bangles again, twisting with the lock. perhaps a nervous habit. ❝ he is not entirely to blame. ❞ perhaps it would do her some good to tell someone about all that had happened. people might have inklings, now, but she’s sure lady danbury will want it all hushed up. least their scandal grow. ❝ he - he tried to call it off. i convinced him not to. ❞
tears sting in the corner of her eyes, but kate blinks them away. she refuses to cry over the viscount again, especially in front of his sister. though she can’t quite will her features to morph into the stoic expression she would like. instead her eyes are soft, eyebrows knitted. kate feels vulnerable, something she’s not used to. ❝ i do not know. ❞ there’s a desperation in her voice. emotion she doesn’t normally show to those outside her family. ❝ it is up to edwina now, and she will not talk to me. ❞
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𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒐𝒏
“i was hoping he would dislike anthony for a while longer, honestly. watching his little stare downs with a dog was most entertaining.” fortunately, newton seemed to like her immediately on the first meeting. edwina had commented that he rarely rolled over for a belly rub when somebody new was petting him, and eloise did not hesitate to tell her older brother — much to his further exasperation that day but her own amusement. far too many things had happened since then; their first meeting at aubrey hall felt much longer ago than it really was. “i don’t think it would be wrong to assume that he might have been more intent on getting newton’s affection at some point.”
@aviscountess ! starter call.
a soft laugh falls from kate’s lips. she sets down her cup of tea ( not that murky, bland water that the english call tea, mind you ) in order to pat newton gently on the top of his head. he’s barely left her side that day, searching out comfort now that most of the bridgertons are away. ❝ well - he certainly made anthony work for the pleasure. ❞ it was rather entertaining, in fact, to see anthony try to win over the pup. offering toys and treats, growing more and more exacerbated when newton refused his bribes. eventually newton had given in, though kate believes their arrival at their new home had softened the corgi’s heart some. ❝ i do believe he’s become rather spoilt now we live in such a big household. he’s never had so many belly rubs and scratches. ❞
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there’s a stunned silence that hangs over the dining room as @aviscount and his mother exit the room. there’s a ringing in her ears, that only just muffles out the sheffield’s insults that linger in her mind. kate looks across the table to her mama, whose features show a mix of shock and betrayal. she almost wishes mary would be angry. perhaps that would hurt less. gaze turns to her sister beside her. brown eyes soft. she must be hurt by kate’s secret keeping too, but she’s better at hiding it. instead kate only sees concern in edwina’s eyes. go. she can see her sister’s lips moving, but her words barely register. go after him, kate!
she’s not aware of her body rising out of her chair. doesn’t register the sound of the chair legs scraping against the floor, causing the reminder of the dinner guests to cringe. kate’s only focus is to catch up to anthony. to explain. her skirt flaps at her ankles as she rushes from the room, following in the direct the viscount and his mother had taken. ❝ my lord! ❞ anthony’s frame comes into view at the end of the hallway, and it’s like the world becomes clear again. her senses sharper. the fog lifted. ❝ anthony. please - allow me to explain. ❞
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really hope the thieves that stole my phone enjoy the ka.nthony s2 rewrite script i wrote in my notes x
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do you ever think about how kate had to ride all the way back from aubrey hall with edwina gushing about her ring and talking about weddings with mary after she’s just had her heart absolutely ripped out of her chest and she has to act happy for her sister but she’s in so much pain yeah me either
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@lunite 💬
❝ only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony. ❞ she grabs a cup of lemonade from the table, falling into place beside allison. her words are defeated, a hint of annoyance laced. kate does not wish to partake in the traditions of the ton. has no real interest in the marriage mart, except to find a match for her sister. and so she had been forced to turn down another dance, despite lady danbury’s warning against such faux pars. kate finds she simply doesn’t care. ❝ men are either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity, and if they are amiable they’re so easily led that they have no minds of their own whatsoever. ❞
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