aurum-is-fowl

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Y'all alive?

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forever obsessed with artemis fowl who, upon realizing that he needs a fuckton of money in order to keep searching for his missing and probably dead father, doesn’t reach for his impeccable hacking skills or his ability to flawlessly recreate artistic masterpieces in order to commit art theft but instead runs the most absolutely insane and convoluted plan that’s ever been constructed (rivaled only by the insane and convoluted plans he constructs when he’s older and aided by time and practice). based solely, by the way, off of what basically amounts to the fairy bible which is written entirely in verse AND in a language that no human being has ever been permitted to see let alone translate. and the plan WORKS

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the fact that Disney first let the Artemis Fowl adaptation stew in development hell, then miscast half the characters and so completely misunderstood the appeal of the original novel it created an adaptation so bad it put the M. Night Shyamalan live-action ATLA movie to shame, buried it by only releasing it to streaming and is now pulling it from Disney+ to avoid paying residuals during the writers' strike in an incredible dick move, thus effectively (legally) deleting the movie from existence...genuinely vying for the title of the most cursed adaptation of all time

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Remember when Artemis uses Mulch as an ass gun?

We sure do.

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You ever watch a movie adaptation so bad it makes you revisit the entirety of it's origonal franchise?

Anyways I'm on the Arctic Incident now and I think you can expect fanart.

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nothing like rereading a book you loved when you were younger only to realize the author can't write

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May I ask: do you have any thoughts on the Artemis Fowl book series as a whole? (Not counting the Fowl Twins spinoff, unless of course you have thoughts on that too, I just haven't read it)

Franchement, j’en ai trop 😂. J’ai écris des milliers de mots pour ce fandom. Fin, je l’aime bien parce que c’est super nostalgique pour moi, et j’avais une famille un peu pareil (foutue, pas riche). Mais, objectively, les premiers trois livres sont les meilleurs. Honnêtement, je ne crois pas que Colfer ait soit le talent soit la profondeur pour terminer l’histoire qu’il a commencé dans le premier livre. La famille Fowl, les relations entre Fowl Sr. , Angeline et Artemis, et en plus Artemis et Butler…il y a tellement à explorer, tellement de douleur, et au lieu de travailler les conséquences de tout ça, il l’a terminé d’une manière banale et, à mon avis, injuste. Et toi?

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This is Artemis and Butler

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Have some last guardian crap

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Rise and shine!

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Let me be your knight

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Holly: My boss is so sexist and obviously hates me >:/

Julius: …Anyway  ♥-♥

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Finally watching Knives Out and y'all can't tell me this isn't Arty

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Book 1 Butler around his boss, who happens to be an adolescent:

Book 8 Butler around his boss, who is still an adolescent:

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Something something, Artemis being compared to a vampire throughout the series. Something something his character evolution being "completed" by his death and subsequent rebirth. Something something this post as the thesis of the books

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Colfer: Dwarves physically are not able to burp. They would die.

Mulch Diggums: belches at least once per book