auntiesuze

[auntiesuze]

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

[auntiesuze]

dear usamerican high schoolers looking for a way to resist fascism: sit through the pledge of allegiance.

no getting up. no looking at the flag.

everyone will be looking at you. you'll be sweating like a fucking hippopotamus. your teacher will sternly tell you to get up. you'll feel stupid and that maybe its not worth it because you're just a kid in a classroom. but I'm here to remind you that there are no real life consequences to detention. there are however real life consequences to resisting a thoughtless performance of nationalism.

[auntiesuze]

02/24/2025 The Trolley of Tolerance. https://thedevilspanties.com/archives/16530 Support us on Patreon!

[auntiesuze]

[auntiesuze]

We've been working with toddler on using his words instead of screaming when something happens that he doesn't like

Which has lead to:

Toddler, upon accidentally dropping a toy: ANGER ANGER ANGER!

[auntiesuze]

You can replace [ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY] with [SCROLLING] but watch out. This sucks bad 👍

[auntiesuze]

Among the latest discoveries in Pompeii:

A house with a private bathhouse , complete with hot, warm and cold rooms, and a plunge pool.

In a room were found the skeletons of a woman of about 40 years and a man of about 20 as well a pair of gold and natural pearl earrings.

The wonderful Pompeian red on the walls

Frescoes, various valuable objects, and gold coins.

Pompeii Parco Archeologico

@ancientcharm

[auntiesuze]

@ people who carry bags everywhere what do you put in them what is there to bring other than chapstick, keys, phone and maybe a tampon why are you packing a suitcase to be outside for 5 hours

[auntiesuze]

[auntiesuze]

[auntiesuze]

Have you ever held a real firearm?

Yes, and fired it.

Yes, but I didn't fire it / it wasn't loaded

Yes, but it was nonfunctional (age, damage, etc)

No, but I've held PART of one

No, but I've held a life-size toy/model firearm

No, not even a life-size toy/model

No, but I have somehow fired one despite not holding it

[auntiesuze]

[auntiesuze]

[auntiesuze]

Been meaning to make this for over a year; felt appropriate that it's my first project of 2025.

[auntiesuze]

The queer community needs to declare a state of emergency, especially for trans people.

[auntiesuze]

Daniel Casson