atiredvampire

[atiredvampire]

[atiredvampire]

The Last Supper: remix edition. The weird surrogate child of god made everyone eat of her flesh and drink of her body, betrayed his right hand man, and then screamed at god for forsaking her.

[atiredvampire]

reporter: does your relationship with team captain neil josten mean you receive special treatment during practice?

andrew: neil has been waiting from the first moment we've been together on the court to boss me around into sweating during practices you bet your fucking ass i'd be using our relationship if the junkie could be reasoned with

[atiredvampire]

fun facts -- USC: . Had to dig up 2007 course catalogues to figure out where & when Jean's classes would be so I could map him out a proper schedule. Annoyed that Fertitta didn't exist back then because it's a gorgeous building. Also apparently the wheel throwing classes were very different then (one nighttime class vs daytime classes twice a week). Voted in favor of inaccuracy because it's more fun & afternoon practices would make it impossible to attend.

-- Campus sizes: . USC's main campus is 226 acres (.9 square km) . EAU's campus is 456 acres (1.8 km2) . PSU (based off of Clemson ofc) is 1400 acres (5.6km2). Granted that does include a botanical garden that is larger than USC's main campus lol

-- Numbers game . Ye, Renee & Jeremy for the 11/9 date . But also if you write Jean's birthday as 11/9 then he and Nathaniel are the same numerical sequence 1/19 . Bonus: Nov 9 end of the French revolution . TSC had 17 chapters, 12 Jean 5 Jeremy. Ended 108700 words give or take . TSC2 is 22 chapters, 12 Jean 10 Jeremy, and its current word count is about 139000. ((For reference, TKM was ~138600)) This is AFTER I tore out an entire subplot and set it aside for #3 I am going insane

ngl m'lovies, I am.. not feeling optimistic about December anymore. I've spent the last two-three weeks making backwards progress as RL continues to spiral, and I am messing so incessantly with it I have yet to hand it off to ANY of its readers

[atiredvampire]

fun facts -- USC: . Had to dig up 2007 course catalogues to figure out where & when Jean's classes would be so I could map him out a proper schedule. Annoyed that Fertitta didn't exist back then because it's a gorgeous building. Also apparently the wheel throwing classes were very different then (one nighttime class vs daytime classes twice a week). Voted in favor of inaccuracy because it's more fun & afternoon practices would make it impossible to attend.

-- Campus sizes: . USC's main campus is 226 acres (.9 square km) . EAU's campus is 456 acres (1.8 km2) . PSU (based off of Clemson ofc) is 1400 acres (5.6km2). Granted that does include a botanical garden that is larger than USC's main campus lol

-- Numbers game . Ye, Renee & Jeremy for the 11/9 date . But also if you write Jean's birthday as 11/9 then he and Nathaniel are the same numerical sequence 1/19 . Bonus: Nov 9 end of the French revolution . TSC had 17 chapters, 12 Jean 5 Jeremy. Ended 108700 words give or take . TSC2 is 22 chapters, 12 Jean 10 Jeremy, and its current word count is about 139000. ((For reference, TKM was ~138600)) This is AFTER I tore out an entire subplot and set it aside for #3 I am going insane

ngl m'lovies, I am.. not feeling optimistic about December anymore. I've spent the last two-three weeks making backwards progress as RL continues to spiral, and I am messing so incessantly with it I have yet to hand it off to ANY of its readers

[atiredvampire]

andrew dresses up as kevin for halloween one year. brown wig, green contacts, jersey he's swimming in, and even draws the queen on his face with sharpie. and stays in character for the entire night. he will not respond to andrew, you may only address him as kevin, kevin day, or queen of exy. he will not spend the entire night draining the candy bowl like usual and is instead angrily altering between a protein shake and straight vodka on the couch and mindlessly staring at trojan games. he goes on a twenty minutes long tangent about jeremy knox's arms and the roman empire, then calls anyone who tries to stop him (kevin) brutus repeatedly whilst pretending he's been stabbed. and when people stop playing attention to him he chucks exy balls at their heads.

was it originally to prove a point to kevin on how annoying he is? yeah. did he get way too into the character? maybe.

but will he pretend it never happened the next morning? absolutely. he pins it on aaron and never mentions it again.

[atiredvampire]

I like how Mercy and Augustine and Cytherea immediately knew that the most complex thing happened when they saw gideon nav eyes in harrow's body and relized it wasn't alecto.

They all asumed that Gideon was john's kid and not a single one thought "hey, did someone knock up Alecto?" which seams like a very reasonable idea for someone who didnt know about the jizz heist?

That a large golden eyed women on the ninth house might produce a large golden eyed child.

. But the duplicitous sluts all just went went 404 idea not found.

[atiredvampire]

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

Too many beds

Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss

Really nice guy who hates only you

Academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class

Divorce of convenience

Too much communication

True hate’s kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)

Dating your enemy’s sibling

Lovers to enemies

Hate at first sight

Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead

Fake amnesia

Soulmates who are fated to kill each other

Strangers to enemies

Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating

Too hot to cuddle

Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground

Nursing home au

[atiredvampire]

andreil rlly shines when ppl realize that andrew is the normal one in the relationship. this is also why aaron was being psychologically tortured by neil (unknowingly) during all 3 books

[atiredvampire]

How cute would it be if Andrew notices Neil getting all blushy and flustered when Andrew blocks impossible shots and just goes above and beyond as a goalie.

So he actually starts doing it on purpose when Neil's around just to get that reaction (and ego stroke and Neil pampering him after as a reward for being the best goalie ever, he pampers Andrew anyway but Andrew being great at Exy gets some favourable reactions from him and Andrew likes that). Everyone's thrilled cause Andrew is not only trying but actually playing at an insane level (even if it's just to make his boyfriend swoon).

The downside is if Neil has to miss practice, Andrew practically sits in the goal and sulks uncaring.

At one point Andrew actually broke Exy records during a game. He will probably enter the exy hall of fame for how he defended the goal that night.

Why?

Cause a few weeks before the game Kevin showed them highlights from the other team and Neil went on and on about how amazing their goalie was, he meant nothing by it other than one player showing respect for another players game.

And Andrew said nothing but went very still. Then that night humiliated the whole team, but especially that asshat goalie who can't hold a candle to him. Mission accomplished Neil barely remembered the other dudes name too busy fawning and fanboying over the way Andrew played.

Kevin is conflicted cause yes Andrew is trying but as Kevin's best friend can Andrew not turn his moms sport into a werid sex thing with Neil?

[atiredvampire]

Aaron makes a HUGE deal out of claiming that he’s the older twin. Andrew lets him. He doesn’t say a goddamned thing, because right after he moved in with Tilda, he tracked down their birth certificates. He knows the fucking truth. And one day, when it really matters, he’s going to knock Aaron flat on his ass with it.

[atiredvampire]

I know I've made this post before but it absolutely fucking kills me that Andrew's entire outlook on life was "I just have to hold on until I drag Aaron across the finish line," only for Kevin to swoop in and, between fits of hysterical sobbing, somehow still find the time to insist that Andrew has a great life ahead of him, and the breath to belligerently dismiss anybody who argues, especially Andrew.

No wonder they're so antagonistic. No wonder they're best friends. Suddenly Andrew is the one getting dragged to the finish line. If Kevin is wrong, then he's covered in mud for nothing. If he's right, then the finish line is much, much further away than just graduation.

[atiredvampire]

STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!

Bleeding:

Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.

It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.

Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.

blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.

it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.

Stab wounds:

I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.

also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.

if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)

whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites

Concussion:

despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.

if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.

Fever:

you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.

ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:

sluggishness

seizures (severe)

inability to speak clearly

feeling chilly/shivering

nausea

pain

delirium

symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.

ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.

fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.

keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you

ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:

YOU DIE AT 85F

sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.

pt 2

also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox

[atiredvampire]

[atiredvampire]

[atiredvampire]

I wonder how the Japanese mafia would feel if they knew their ability to keep operating depends on Nicky Hemmick’s ability to keep a secret.