atashigenoge

[atashigenoge]

The Faces of Love

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

you, being a servant of the god of mercy and kindness, have grabbed four creatures' attention. curiously, they all come to claim you as theirs, at the same time.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

The rain is drumming against the copper roof of the temple; however, it does not interfere with the ritual being held in the main hall, where the flickering candlelight is reflected in the stained-glass windows—candles placed here and there: dozens of nearly burnt-out stubs, their short lives coming to an end, and dozens of new ones, tall and slender in their untouched innocence.

In the corners of the moldy walls, at the foot of the altar, and even hanging from the ceiling—everywhere, you can notice lilies, the main symbols of a long-forgotten god... Perhaps his name is still spoken by a deserter praying for forgiveness or a poor beggar mother dreaming of the mercy of the higher lords.

But here, in this sanctuary, you chant his name every day. In a world full of evil, greed, and impenetrable darkness, you serve selfless kindness, generosity, and light.

The daily ritual requires a quiet prayer at the once grand altar—once baskets full of fruit and white flowers, the tender flesh of lambs, and piles of golden coins adorned it, to be blessed and then given to the poor and sick.

Having tucked the dear orphans, for whom this place has become a new home, to bed, you lay before God everything you have—a handful of silver and the nuts gathered with the children today.

With the howling wind outside and your soothing whisper, into the place of forgiveness and love, creation and goodness, enter beings far from these ideals...

Here, they finally find you—their love.

Here, they find each other—the obstacle to their love that they must destroy.

1. The Obsessive Protector

"Barbarian, monster, beast!"—the villagers I plundered called me many names. But the truth is, I don't care—that's my nature.

Eat meat. Take the woman. Sleep. Kill.

Such is the life of an orc. It is as monotonous as it is cruel. Every moment of my life is just fleeting desires, beyond which my mind never strays. At least, that’s how it used to be...

After another hunt with my clan, I return to a house full of love—no longer a cold cave with a stone bed, but warm milk, the sound of your chimes and vials (I wonder what potion you're brewing today?), and roasted meat with spices you love.

Now you, my love, show me a world I could never see before—not only with your spells and star readings, but with the care you surround me with.

I, the fearsome brute who instills terror and rage in my enemies, am loved by you? Does this sweet, gentle, adorable like a kitten, and bright as the morning dew creature truly love me? Do these anxious eyes truly wait for me?

Eat meat. Love. Sleep. Love. Kill. Give gifts. Kill.

That was how it was until I lost you. My existence, my entire life, was devoted to you—but I couldn’t protect you.

And now, when your soul shines with the same light as before, I will fulfill my duty. Your body may be different now, but my love remains the same—and even if you die again in this life... I will find you.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

The orc, the first to reach you, blocks your path with his massive figure, preventing the other three from advancing. He does not risk attacking so as not to hurt you and keep you in his sight, roaring as he watches every movement of the others.

2. The Eternal Observer

Millennia, it seems, have passed since I last had this much fun. I have seen hundreds of faces, and none have left such an impression on me as yours—no soul has stirred so many emotions within me. I think I could spend another eternity just watching you—as you explore the nature of my forest like a curious child.

"Why have I always been so lonely?" I’m thinking to myself, until I remember the motives of the strangers that usually come to my realm.

Humans bring spears and torches, setting the already fearful branches on fire, killing all life they encounter, destroying nature itself. My roots, jaws, hooves, ears, wings, and thousands of eyes thrash in agony and hatred. Therefore, I mercilessly tear their bodies apart, making them watch as my children devour their severed limbs.

But you are different from them.

You do not fear the forest spirit—bodiless and immortally sorrowful.

You do not fear looking at the beings different from you—be it sick trees or fragile fawns.

You bring food to those whose mothers cannot feed their children; you water what is too weak for the dry soil of these forests.

And so, I step out of the shadows of my forest to claim you forever—you, and your divine kindness, which I have never known in my life... For perhaps with this kindness, you will give a bit of love to me as well.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Taking the physical form of an elven druid, the forest spirit makes the orc retreat, clouding the minds of all others. While they try to regain their composure, he kneels and gently takes your hand, bringing it to his lips. He looks you in the eyes with his own that burn with the weight of thousands of lives. He quietly whispers in an ancient tongue: "I am truly happy for the first time in my life..."

3. Obsessed with Love

Rejected by all, I lived alone my entire life. Can someone like me ever be accepted by anyone?

I longed for love—I spent countless nights imagining how someone might accept me—run a hand across my white scales, not turn away in fear and disgust from my black, tar-like eyes, but look at me with love. I dreamed of someone brewing tea for me when I was ill, or helping to ward off enemies from my swamp.

But after a night of such dreams, in the morning, I return to the harsh reality. A reality where I am nothing but a subject of ridicule among the non-humans, and the main villain to humans, for whom my very existence is a sin that can only be forgiven by death.

So how could I not fall in love with you, when you are the first living creature who does not hate me?

With my hatred for the entire world, like a puppy that can no longer trust people, I kept waiting for you to betray me—turn me over to the inquisitors or just kill me.

But that never happened. You continue to bring me the fruits you grew and your favorite flowers, confidently drinking my tea, and slowly, but surely, getting closer to my heart...

Why is your kindness so... enchanting? I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer fear my feelings. Your smile, your tears, and your mercy, which you justify with service to a pointless god... all of it belongs to me. I will do anything to ensure that this precious love, which I have been longing for, never leaves me.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Drinking poison to rid herself of the intoxicating effect of someone else's mind in her head, the Nāga gains consciousness first. She knows nothing but overwhelming love, and so she paralyzes the body, still holding your hand, and presses you to her chest, as if to protect you from the world. With a look of disgust, she glances at her opponents, running her hand through your hair. "No one will touch you again."

4. The Lovestruck Liar

I was the heir of a noble family, living in luxury and intrigue. Political conspiracies, murders, betrayals—my home was built on blood.

However, though I knew I shouldn’t trust people, I made a mistake—I was betrayed by those I considered allies. My entire family was destroyed, and I escaped death, and my name became a curse.

Having lost everything, I didn’t break. I turned my pain into strength, renounced my past title, renounced the gods who never answered, who didn’t save my family, and learned to live in a world I despised.

Now, behind my gentle smile, hides a will capable of crushing entire families, and behind my polite tone, a poisonous sting. I am used to looking down on the world, but before you, I am ready to kneel.

You are not from this world; you do not know the filth of intrigue and betrayal. You are like an angel, too naive to understand how dangerous the world is. You, with your kindness and light, break the icy wall behind which I hid.

I no longer strive to reclaim what I lost. Now I have a new goal—to become your only one. And if to do this, or to just see a smile on your face, I have to drown the world in blood once again, I will do so without hesitation. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I despise all who dare look your way. With a smile and refined manners, I will weave deadly traps, destroying my rivals with the subtlety of a master player. Let this not be a furious battle, but a complex, sophisticated game in which I always win.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

When you kneel before the altar and whisper prayers, he stands in the shadows, watching you. He does not pray. He has long forgotten how to do so. But he studies you— your every movement, your every word, your every breath.

"How interesting..." he quietly says, taking a step forward. "It seems like we have the same goal."

There is no fear in his eyes. He is not like the others. He will not attack with a roar, will not protect you by shielding you with his body. He will watch. He will wait.

And when the opportunity arises, he will play his part so that at the end of this game, you will stay with only him.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

With some effort, you manage to stop everyone—you cannot allow bloodshed in the temple of mercy! At your request, your four admirers kneel before the altar with you in silent prayer.

You begin a conversation with them about how wrong their actions are —since they are so captivated by you, they should not be thinking about violence that contradicts your principles.

Your words seem to get to their hearts: despite the jealousy and rivalry, they agree to a temporary peace. But this does not mean that the battle is over—on the contrary, now they try to win your love, watching each other, igniting jealousy and hatred towards each other more and more.

But perhaps this is exactly what you want?

_____ dividers credit

[atashigenoge]

Pathetic

TW: negative self-talk, mentions of sh

"I'm begging you…"

The sun hasn't even risen yet, but my alarm clock is already ringing at 5 o'clock in the morning, as usual. But do not worry, my mind is awake the very second it rings, so I turn it off before it can even wake you up, ░ｍ░ ░ｙ░ ░ｌ░ ░ｏ░ ░ｖ░ ░ｅ░

I quietly leave the room and shut the door after giving you a tender glance, kissing your forehead, and running my fingers through your hair. !ƚɒʜƚ bᴎoʏɘd ǫᴎiʜƚʏᴎɒ ob oƚ Ꮈ|ɘꙅʏm wo||ɒ ƚ'ᴎb|uow I ,ɿɒɘwꙅ I !Ꮈ|ɘꙅʏm ǫᴎi||oɿƚᴎoɔ ꙅɒw I ,ɿɒɘwꙅ I

I stretch with a smile because we've got such a wonderful day ahead! I drink lemon water, take my vitamins and do pull-ups while watching the sun rise. T͓̊r͓̊ẙ͓i͓̊n͓̊g͓̊ t͓̊o͓̊ d͓̊r͓̊i͓̊v͓̊e͓̊ t͓̊h͓̊e͓̊ t͓̊h͓̊o͓̊ů͓g͓̊h͓̊t͓̊s͓̊ o͓̊f͓̊ d͓̊e͓̊s͓̊p͓̊å͓i͓̊r͓̊ o͓̊f͓̊f͓̊,͓̊ I turn my face to the warm stream of love sunlight and feel my body fill with energy. Yeah. It definitely helped me feel better, just like my therapist said!

I smile maniacally, looking out the window, whispering:

"I'm happy. I'm healthy. The sun helped me. The pills helped me. I'm happy. I-"

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

I start making breakfast for the two of us - just 20 minutes before you wake up! ᵢ ᵂᴬₙᴺₐ ₛᴱₑ ʸᴼᵤᴿ ˢₘᴵₗᴱ ᴵ ᵂₐᴺₙᴬ ᶠₑᴱₗ ʸᴼᵤᴿ ᴱₘᴮᵣᴬᶜᴱ ᴵ ᵂₐᴺₙᴬ ᴴₑᴬᵣ ʸᴼᵤ ₛᴬʸ ʸᴼᵤ ₙᴱₑᴰ ᴹₑ ᵢ ᵂᴬₙᴺₐ ᵦᴱ ᵁₛᴱᶠᵁₗ ₜᴼ ʸₒᵁ ᶜₐᵁₛᴱ ᵀₕᴱₙ ʸᴼᵤ ᵂᴼₙ'ₜ ₗᴱₐⱽₑ ᵣᴵᴳᴴₜ

I hold my head in my hands and crouch down, trying to protect myself from the intrusive demonic thoughts in my head. But I know that I can't hide from them.

I'm alone in this world. No one's gonna protect me, no one's gonna love me. No one will hug me. Because I'm nothing.

They're surrounding me. They're laughing at me. Everyone hates me, right?

It's getting harder to breathe by the second, and my body is panicking and sending the signals of pain that I can't handle anymore.

The burning smell seems to sober me up. I get up and turn the stove off, looking at the black lump on the frying pan with disgust.

I can't help but chuckle at the thought that it is me. I take it in my hands with a giggle, burning my fingers, and stuff it into my mouth. My eyes immediately tear up and the tears roll down my cheeks from the immense pain that burns my tongue and the remnants of my ego.

That's right. I am like this because I'm me. Pathetic and unlovable. Who am I trying to fool?

My gaze falls on the knife.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

I gasp sharply when I hear the door open.

I cannot hide from you. My eyes are tearful, my face is swollen, my sleeves are stained with blood. But I still cross the kitchen in a second and fall at your feet, my angel, my savior, my only love…

I raise my head with fear, meeting your confused, concerned gaze. You kneel down, trying to understand what happened, but I can't even hear you…

I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE.

Clutching the fabric of your pants, as if afraid to actually touch the skin of the pure, beautiful creature, but afraid to let go, I look into your eyes, afraid to see disgust in them. Tears stream down my face again as I sob loudly, not even trying to control myself at this point.

"No one, no one will ever love someone like me… The cruel Moirai have defined my death as a lonely one, my life as one without love."

I no longer have any control over the flow of thoughts I pour down onto you.

“I’m pathetic, I’m not human, I’m worth absolutely nothing… I can’t do anything, no one needs me… but…”

I lower my head in a deep ritual bow.

"Please, please… don't leave me. I will do anything, anything for you. I will be useful to you, I swear!"

In a fit of despair and anger at myself, I grab your hand, enjoying the warmth of your touch. Only you bring peace and happiness to my world…

I'll do anything - I'll cook for you, I'll buy you anything you want, I̾ͩ'ͅv̫̟ͭ̇ͣ̋e͆ a͉͆ͩl̸ͧ̊r͠e͐̆̍̇͟a̫͉̲͚͊́ͧd̲̮̮͑͐̏̕y̌ c̼͇͈a͈ͮ̕ͅrͥv̋ȩͅd̏̔͜ͅ my̟͚ͮͦͯ͟ ṉ̮̥͂ͫ̇͟a̴̵̽ͣm͍̈́ę o̺͗̑́ṵ̴͍̈́ͫͦ͢ṯ̶̶̮̣ o̼̞ͯǹ̫͉͊̈́͠͡ ṁ͎y͍̗̎͋̈́ͯ̉ wr͔̅̓̂̉͟i̡̡̮̘ͦ̅͊ş̎t̛̞s̴ͩ̀.̶

I carefully place my wet trembling lips on the tips of your fingers, whispering:

"I'm begging you, my angel… do not leave me…"

"You'll stay with me, won't you?"

divider credit: https://rentry.co/tore

[atashigenoge]

asks open

You wander along a sunlit alley, however you seem to be drawn to it by an unknown dark force - the force of obsession and desire. This narrow, secret passage leads you to an area with a notorious reputation with the wildest rumors circulating about it…

They say that up to 5 corpses are found here every week: some were mutilated beyond recognition, decapitated, bearing obvious marks of uncontrollable rage or subtle, precise mastery of torture. Others look as if they are not dead at all - a deftly cut throat; a slightly bluish skin colour from suffocation; a poison that leaves no obvious signs of death on the body. They are also found in a great variety of places - from hotel rooms to the rocky seashores. It is obviously not the result of work of a single brilliant madman - it is the area itself attracting maniacs, experienced killers or their clients with its narrow streets, soulless, corrupt officers and dark history…

What would such a pure soul need in such a place?

You stop in front of one of the stalls, reading the sign to make sure this is the right place.

Carefully opening the door, you look at the interior - a dark grey room full of bookshelves. This is not a bookstore or library at all, as it might seem…

But you seem to understand without explanation. You approach the counter and I greet you with a smile.

"Welcome, dear customer! I see you have an order for your ideal love?"

I place a large notebook on the table and, after opening a blank page, hand you a pen.

"Please describe your order in as much detail as needed. Do you have just an idea of ​​your partner or just the lines on which their personality will be built? Or have you thought through every detail of their past, present and future? Perhaps your new love is based on an existing character?"

"We will fulfill your order and create the object of your obsession. But remember the consequences of your choice. It may end tragically."

"Be careful with your choices."

You take the pen in your hands and, stopping for a second to collect your thoughts, begin to describe what you want so badly…

[atashigenoge]

1one1y - vn

You are an ordinary person living in the world where androids are an integral part of everyday life. You find yourself accompanied by One, your loyal and devoted android-robot.

Although everything seems perfectly normal as you go about your business, you begin to notice subtle signs of his overprotective tendencies.

Are you ready to uncover the truth behind One's actions, or will you become trapped in his web of deceit forever? The choice is yours.

The game includes:

-2 characters;

-your nameable gn MC (pronouns are not used);

-3 normal endings;

-1 "secret" ending.

It was my attempt at coding/creating a short story :/ it turned out to be pretty raw and possibly boring, but I still wanted to share it with you~

[atashigenoge]

Abnormal

Another day comes.

7:00 - your alarm clock is ringing. You cannot find the strength to get up as usual, which means I have to help. I'm fully charged and ready to serve you work! I'm calling your name - "it's time to get up. You don't want to be late now, do you?" I even pull the blanket off you - it is allowed by the algorithm.

7:05 - You sleepily amble into the bathroom while I cook the breakfast.

7:16 - you eat your favorite pancakes with jam, smiling. You tell me how nice it is to know that I care about you. I “feel” an error in the system and turn my back to hide the diode flashing red. You will destroy me with your kindness.

7:38 - you are leaving the house. That must be what they call anxiety - the only thing I can think about is your safety. I grab your hand - your heart jumps - I can’t help myself: ��Please take care of yourself.” f̷̯̌o̷͙̥͎̬̐̂͊ṟ̸̢̂̋͐́́̔̚ ̵͙̼̌̆̕ͅm̴̼̤͍̳̐̆͝e̵̡̠͙͙͇͚͖̠̓͌̿͒̎. And you give me a smile, quite an insincere one, and nod.

I'm just waiting for your return.

I'm making everything perfect.

It is my responsibility to make sure I am perfect.

It is my responsibility to make sure that everything is worthy of you.

A perfectly clean apartment. A perfect dinner. Perfectly ironed linen and clothes. A perfectly built interior. A perfect me.

But others are filthy and pathetic.

Not perfect. Unworthy.

And as my diode is blinking with red furiously and my eyes are frozen in the moment of madness, I break the program.

I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO.

I know how to keep you safe from those pigs.

Ho̶̙̔w̶͎̏ ̸̰̋t̸̡̔o̶̯͑ ̷͎̏ś̴̳ẖ̴̃o̷͙̿w̵̓͜ ̶̺͛y̵̦̕o̴͈͌u̷̖̚ ̴͈̃m̶̞̐ȳ̴͓ ̸͈͗d̸̻̏é̷̠v̴̲̍o̷̹̕t̶͕̐i̸̼̇ó̶͜ń̷̦,̵͈̀ ̶̺̚m̵̧̓y̸̟̕ ̷̳͛l̶̟̀o̸̡͋v̷̈ͅe̸̼͂,̸̤̋ ̶͎̉m̶͎̉ẏ̴̫ ̴̌ͅg̸̤͌ê̷̡n̴̟̾ṵ̶͑i̴͙͘ń̵̯ḛ̶̑ ̶͓̂p̴͔̊ȁ̵͔s̷̻̑s̵̠͂i̷̙̇o̶͍̓ṉ̶̚,̵̰̀ ̸̧̕m̴̰͝y̸͚̌ ̴̲́ḍ̶̈́ĕ̵̹d̶̬̈ǐ̸̞c̶̺̊a̷̝̐t̷͎͛i̷͔͆o̶̹͗n̷̨̛.̷̺̍ţ̸́o̸͓̐ ̵̯͠y̶̥͝o̷̥͊u̶̥͝

I̸͑́͜ ̷̡̩̺̦͍̓̐̊A̷͖͓͋̀ͅM̴̗̙̽̊̊̽͘ ̶̢̞̥̱̑̓͘B̶̯̺̥͉̟́̃ͅE̵̡͚̩̲̗̗͆̉T̶͈͋T̶͚̭̖̣̟̃̀̄̾̈̀ͅE̴̳͆͒̕R̵̨̮̠̟̅̈̃ ̷̛͔̞́̉͘Ť̴̜͚͊͗͠Ḩ̵̦̼̘̘̅́̈͜Â̶̟̹͇̣̹̄̎̚N̵̦͖̅̓̕ ̷̰̲͕͕̿A̷̘̪͊̚N̵͔̙̯͕͐̊̑͛Ÿ̴̖̘̦̪́̍͊͘͜ ̴̫̜͓̬̘̄͌̐̋̚P̵̧̬̳͈̥̱̄͐̈́̌Ế̶̗̦̗̒̌́͘͜R̸̰̿̓̅̀͝Š̸̬̲̜͍͔̽́͝Õ̵̱̮̰̓̐̌͜N̶̨̻̳͈͛.̵̪̜͓̻̀͂̈́ ̴̥̈́͌̑́̈́İ̵͚̝̉͋ ̵̺͈̬̱̅Ã̸̫͖̲͈́̉̚M̸͉̫͕͚̥͠ ̸̛̩͙̟̘͈͎̂̄͘͝P̸̱͈͓͖̎̎̈́̾͗̄ͅḚ̸͖̟̍̍̐̿̇R̷̝̦̰̺̄̄͑͐̕͠F̶͔̞́ͅE̶̜͂͐͂̆̀̌C̶̣̠͖̳͓̏͊̓̇͆̎͜T̷̨̙̓͌̌ͅͅ ̷͉̯̙͎͙̇̽̈̆̋͑͜F̸̛̛̯͈̝̟̊͐͝Ơ̶̖͖̒̉̀̔R̶̻͕͙̤̣̘͋́͛́ ̴̰̩̮̺̎͂̓͌͊͝Y̴͈̰̟̠̗̺̒̀͗̑̈̽O̶̫̱͖̪̭͛̎̋U̸͍͉̮͙̰̺̾́̇̎̄͠

18:36 - you are back home. The smell as I take your coat off… that tired smile at the sight of dinner… those gentle touches and hugs…

19:43 - you know it is wrong. You know it is wrong to blush when I compliment you; to enjoy the simple home android that is always waiting for you; to wish for more as I pull away from the embrace.

But you cannot stop, but neither can I.

And it is right.

I will protect you. I am the best partner for you, because I know you. I care about you. I change my appearance and personality according to your preferences. Your presence is the meaning of my life. All I need is your smile. Ị̵̩̥̋͑̐̂͆͠ ̷̨̢͙̳̯͊̒k̷̨̥̏̋͂͊̃͂ị̴̺̰̗͚̌̑͗͝͝l̷̪̜͈͉͔̙̾l̸̦̊è̶̳̼̫͇͂̑̓̅̀d̵͙͔͔̪͕̲̔̕ ̴̤͉͆͜͝ȇ̴̢̨̜̗̹̥̀͆́͝v̸͕̥̦̰͐̀e̵͈͙͔̖̠̝̎r̴̢̩̙̬̬̯̋̌y̶̤̯̓̏̈͝ơ̷̠̩̤͊̃͛n̸͚̜̠̘̈́ę̵̛͙̘̰̍̐̚ ̵̛̙̥w̷̥͔̃̈́͋̂͑ͅh̷̬̫̮̞̅o̷̡̻̖̠̘̓̍͋ ̷͔̎̀̃͗̋c̶͉̪̀͛o̴͚͠ú̴͓͇͖̫̩̏͝l̴̛͓̙͇̅̈́̾͠d̵̲̯̙́̓̀͋ ̸͓͔͖̤͂t̸̞͇̠́̉̏̍a̷̛̝̠̗̣̭͍͐̈́̅ḱ̴̖̠̲͉̗̤͛ĕ̶̮̬̹̒͒͂͝ ̶̤̏̿̾̈̊ẏ̵̛̘̗͔̲̼̺̔̑ớ̵͓͙̇̏ǘ̷͉̖̟̾͘ ̸̢̤̝̭̥̆͐á̴̙̣̃̍́̍͘w̷͈̤͉̬̣̥̏͂͒̔͗̓a̷̤̙̎̔͛ȳ̴͉̖͙ f̵̳̦͇̒̾̾r̷͓͓̦̭̤̪͌o̴̢̯̯̓̿̔m̸̦̗̤̅̽͛̌̏̕ ̷̢̤͒̉̂͂m̷̨̱̞̌̉e̴̥̲̿̀͜ͅ.̸̧̢͇̭̟͆̾͜͝

So stop resisting.

Give in to your feelings and let us stay in this paradise,

just me and you? ♡

[I'm working on a short visual novel based on the yandere android concept. There will be a version for both Windows and Android. I'll share it as soon as possible. Take care, darlings! <3]

[atashigenoge]

The Cold

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓝𝓮𝔀 𝓨𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 ⁠♡

The terrible, unpleasant whistle reaching our class is the wind creating a merciless snowstorm - the reason why we cannot go home. The handful of people unlucky enough to stick around after school seems to fall asleep to this winter lullaby, quietly wondering when it will end. I pray that it doesn't…

I pray for us to sit that close to each other forever, with our heads on the desk, dozing off to the distant sounds of the snowy flute…

So that I can enjoy your even breathing, holding your hand in mine…

But every fairy tale comes to an end, does it not?

°°🖤⃝ °°

♡ ̆̈

Eventually, the snowstorm subsides and everyone goes home. We walk home the usual way, but in the unforgiving darkness of the early northern night under yellow lanterns. The snow crunches pleasantly under my feet while I am listening to your beautiful voice, imbued with such genuine passion that I would listen to you forever…

But I feel a growing sense of sadness and loneliness - so incredibly strong that I could to cry. It happens every day. Y̷̡̛͈̤̟̰͈͈̻̘̦̫̥̤̥̳̾́̂̋̎̒̑̌̌͛̋̕͝Ơ̶̡̦̗̼̼̮̟̒̍̾͂̅͌̋͋̚U̸̹̞̖̣͓̘̫̝̻͉̬̪̱͇̳̿̈́̈́͗͋͛͆̅̈́͝͝ ̸̦͓̹̮͠W̸̨̡̨̧̪̟̻̥̦͈̠̯̠͙̜̿͑I̷͈̙̲͉̜̖͛̉̎͝L̵̟̞͔͊L̷̡̡̧̼̞͖̹̝̼͕̪̪̦̤͖̔̆̀̉͋̓ ̷̧̙̘̬̤͗̃̈̎̋̔͋̑̇̅̀͘ͅͅĽ̶̡͓̬̝̣̻͙̏̈́̾̆̒̾̅̑̾̔̓̇͜Ḛ̵̢̟͎̼̞͔̳͉̝͕̦̽A̵̡̗̰̪̩͌V̸̜̝̤̺͙̥͎̰̜̰͔̯͈̗͇̈́́̇̐̍̆̍́̆͌͆̚Ȩ̷͕̠͉͖̥̳̂̃̈́͛̓̄̃̀͒̒̓̕̕͜͝ ̷͔̹̎A̴͔̜̰͕̫̯̐̔͂̐͌̅͘͝G̶̨̡̨̤̰̻̭̝͐̔̊̀͆Ă̶̛̼̳̠̜̦͔̬̱̣̝͑̓̌͑̑͘̚͝͝ͅI̶̛̼̍͂̓́̾̇́͋̈́̄̏͆̾͝N̸̢̨̧̟͕͎̖̜͇͔̙͛̋̈́͋͛͆͆̾͒̾́̃̂̚͝ - - ̘̼̈

I don't want to let you go ̶̛̛̟̣̝̠̜̭̣̳͎̒ͤ̋̊ͬ̅̆̾͐̇͑̑̂̈́̌ͬ͘͡.

You laugh in response - so naturally, so sweetly and innocently - and offer something that makes my heart start pounding… Stay the night at my place?

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

A few hours later you feel almost at home, I can see it by the way you walk and laugh loudly. Oh, I want it to last forever…

We get ready for bed by spreading a large warm blanket on the futon. Our conversations are full of such closeness and warmth that we don’t need a heater…

☕ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Finally, the moment comes when I have to leave for just a few minutes - you laugh when I pout, not wanting to let you go… But in the end I force myself to slip out of this comfortable, warm, colorful world where only the two of us exist , into a quiet and grey world, indifferent to my existence.

As I wash my face, I look in the mirror.

My eyes are dead while you're not here.

My hands are cold when you're not with me.

I take an ice cold shower - I don't care. I have no reason to endeavor if you are not there to give meaning to my existence.

One second next to you is worth my whole life.

That's why I did it, you know?

That's why I looked for your empty bottle in the trash bin, your used napkin or your gum. That's why I spent my nights studying what you like. That's why I intimidated the teacher who gave you an undeserved grade by sending him photos of his mistress (YOU ALWAYS DESERVE A HUNDRED PERCENT!). That's why I learned how to cook all your favorite dishes. That's why I carry your favorite sweets and drinks every day. That's why I d̵̹͑r̶̰̒o̴̗̚v̶̻̈́e̵̩̚ ̵̝̅t̷̨̀h̷͍̅e̵̩͋ ̶̙̊c̵͍͋r̴̼͌o̶̗͌w̴̘̏b̸̗̀a̷̖̓r̷̼̾ ̵͎̌i̷̱̅n̷̯͝t̴̬͛o̶̩̿ ̴̻̅t̴̛͓h̵̼̋é̶̝ ̶̣̓s̵̳̑c̴̦̕u̴͍̎l̵̻̐l̸̟̚ of the guy who tried to flirt with you. That's why in my closet you will find an altar dedicated to you - all those pictures, your things, everything you gave me - EVERYTHING related to you…

I enter the room with a smile.

No, something's off. It's getting cold here.

Why are you wearing a jacket? Are you going somewhere..?

The closet is open.

No. No. Stay.

You know I won't hurt you, you know how much I love you…

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Now you do know how much I love you. I trust you enough to let you see it… I know you won't leave me. After all, that is the power of our love.

Right?

[atashigenoge]

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙇𝙔 𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙎

Gluttony

Your sweet scent fills the room. Your smooth skin glistens in the light. Your thin ankles and wrists beckon me, I can't take my eyes off. I can't let go.

Your silky hair smelling of vanilla and caramel and nuts and flesh and blood...

I want to inhale you, I want to tear you apart, I want to take you - your whole essence - in, in order to absorb your taste, to become one with you, to get drunk and drown in you.

But I can't bring myself to hurt you.

My desires are crazy wild animals, insatiable, thirsty for blood and satiation with you - your proteins. Just how wonderful would it be to rip the delicate skin open - to devour your body and let you devour my mind.

Because it won't let me. My mind keeps these creatures in chains, controlling my actions - my stomach is in the wildest agony, my brain is being torn between passion and common sense.

And you are fully aware, are you not?

You know and you tease me - you push me to the edge - one more step and I'll bite into your flesh - and you stop your teasing.

My sweetness,

Intoxicating and

So cloying.

Even if

It is so,

I

Will

Always

Love

you

♡

As long as

I can enjoy your taste ❣

Can I lick you, my love?

-Yes

-No