assassinsmusical
brittain ashford I mean seriously what the fuck
12K posts
emma, she/her, 21, swedish
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assassinsmusical · 1 day ago
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Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons
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assassinsmusical · 1 day ago
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assassinsmusical · 2 days ago
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what is your favourite shape?
whatever's going on inside red cabbage like. i see god in this thing
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assassinsmusical · 2 days ago
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they put something in late november/early december that makes me literally insane.
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assassinsmusical · 2 days ago
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shirt that says "i'm not high i just love saying insane sentences that don't make sense"
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assassinsmusical · 2 days ago
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whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair
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assassinsmusical · 3 days ago
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assassinsmusical · 3 days ago
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Surely this next six minutes of hitting the snooze button on my alarm will leave me feeling well rested. Surely this time.
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assassinsmusical · 3 days ago
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every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb
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assassinsmusical · 4 days ago
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“i have of late lost all my mirth” should be a valid reason not to come in to work
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assassinsmusical · 4 days ago
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i am going to *remembers suicide jokes are detrimental to my mental health and relationships* make it through this year if it kills me
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assassinsmusical · 7 days ago
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"pasta only fills you up with empty calories" have you considered that it also fills me with love
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assassinsmusical · 8 days ago
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every window should have a little cat in it for me to look at when I'm walking by.
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assassinsmusical · 9 days ago
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maybe subconsciously but a lot of people really do not believe women are intelligent enough to be funny on purpose, or absurd/ironic on purpose, or make art that makes people uncomfortable on purpose. “omfg how did she not realise how this would come off” she realised. i promise she realised. i’m going to kill you.
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assassinsmusical · 10 days ago
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Folk music is wonderful because there’s bound to be a million versions of any song you love. Folk music is terrible because nobody will ever sing it right except the person who taught you the song. 
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assassinsmusical · 10 days ago
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Hooooly shit
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assassinsmusical · 10 days ago
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DO NOT sleep during the day. Youll be like What the hell later
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