asktoutamatsuda

[asktoutamatsuda]

Pls guys I’m always bored

Edit: over a thousand notes!? Damn…

[asktoutamatsuda]

Eh, why not. If you're offering the good cheese, who am I to complain?

*Hands the rat Pule Cheese*

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The mouse, Marcus, looks into their lap, clearly happy.*

Marcus... my name is Marcus...

“Yeah! Your name is Marcus now.” Matsuda smiles. “Do you want some expensive cheese to celebrate?”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The mouse giggles, very giddy looking.*

Choose whichever one I look most like.

“Okay, Marcus sounds right.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The mouse squirms a bit, clearly happy.*

Um, yeah. Okay. I accept your offer of naming me.

“I’ll call you.. err…”

Matsuda thinks about it for a while.

“Okay, which is the best one- Thierry, Marcus or Elliot? Sorry if it’s cringe.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

Oh.

*It pauses, shoulders slumping. The mouse seems surprised and honestly quite flattered.*

You would... do that?

“Yeah, at least it’s better than calling you ‘Rat’ all the time.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The mouse starts chewing on it again.*

One of the rats with a name. Very rarely do we get names. You see, rats and mice don't need names. We know exactly who each of us are. Names are quite important. When you're given a name, you're given importance.

*It stretches.*

There's uh... Remy, Gamer Rat, Creative Rat, Tinsel Rat, Average Rat, and Evil Rat.

“Oh. Cool… So what if I gave you a name?”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*It just looks from the cannabis to Matsuda.*

How do you know that? You don't know Tinsel Rat's connections.

*The mouse offers the bud of weed to him.*

“Eh, no thanks. You can have it.”

Matsuda sighs.

“It’s just.. weed is banned in Japan. It should have been imported by another human. Also, who’s this Tinsel Rat?”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The rat nods lazily.*

Why do you wanna know, ex-copper? Gonna bust my boy and report him?

“A human must have imported the weed. Not busting your rat friends, of course.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

Oh- wait, how'd you even get fired, bro?

*It chews slower, pulling out a... oh. Weed. How the hell does a mouse get weed in Japan?*

“L said it was a case of incompetence or something. And slacking after I just got married. Also I would not stop talking about my wife. SO they fired me.”

Matsuda raises an eyebrow at the sight of weed.

“Hey, where did you get that from? Just asking.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

I'm not telling a cop.

*The mouse chews faster.*

“..It’s fine. I’m fired. Also, you’re an animal, not a human- chew whatever you want. Whether you die it’s not my responsibility.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*It nods. The mouse is chewing on something small and green.*

Mmm, yeah. You don't seem like the type who can kill well.

“It doesn’t matter if I can kill well or not. What matters is that I don’t.”

Matsuda looks at the thing the mouse is chewing.

“Hey, what’s that green thing?”

[asktoutamatsuda]

If you kill enough guys then there's less murderers.

*The mouse shrugs. Ah, theres pro-Kira mice. He should probably warn L at some point.*

“Are you serious??” Matsuda sighs. “Killing more people won’t make the world better. Also, I don’t want to murder- not just because of religion.. but also my wife.”

Matsuda looks at the rat. “She hates criminals. If I murder someone, she will find out and might divorce me..”

[asktoutamatsuda]

Have you tried murder, yet?

*The mouse leans back, slowly blinking.*

Like, uh... like the Kira guy.

“Of course not?? Why would I? Anyways, if one guy kills a murderer, there is the same number of murderers in the world as before. It doesn’t change anything.”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The mouse nods.*

Mmm, and they don't believe in that curse thingy? Have you tried getting some sort of exorcism done?

*The mouse chews on the candy, looking quite lethargic."

“Yep. They don’t believe in that. Well, I don’t know exactly who to call for the exorcism. Also- the anons could do anything. I hope they don’t endanger me or my wife..”

[asktoutamatsuda]

*The rat grumbles under its breath.*

Sorry, sorry. Got any food on ya? Blood sugar is dropping.

*It starts making grabby hands at him.*

Do you have any better ideas than test the hair?

*Matsuda passes the rat a small gummy bear*

“Well, the actual person who attacked everyone and kidnapped Matt turned all of Crystal’s LV into frogs.. and Mello has been alerted.”

*He thinks to himself for a while*

“Other than that, there’s not much I can do because I wasn’t at the scene or anything..”

[asktoutamatsuda]

I'm not the fuckin' detective, am I? Don't they train you on this sort of shit?

*The rat sighs, plopping into his pocket.*

Dunno, maybe get the DNA tested???

“Okay, okay, stop swearing!” Matsuda replies, a little alarmed by the rat’s sudden outburst.

“…Also, a little piece of hair found when everyone has left the scene won’t do much.”