askkawaiiprima-blog-blog - Tumblr blog

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

((It's been a long time.....

((....and I'm not ready to come back....

...and I might not come back.

I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, and cognitive dissonance about who I thought I was versus who I am now.

I can't draw anything anymore. I pick up a sketchbook and lose myself in the fears of drawing differently than what I want, then I drop it all and gather myself into a collection of broken, pointed pieces.

It hurts to pull myself together but I do it because if I didn't, I probably would have died years ago, and I want to stay here.

But I don't know what to do. I'm scared.

I miss drawing Prima. I miss all of you so much.

And I miss art. Above all, god, do I miss art.

My tablet sits, lonely and dusty, beside my computer, and my pen I found underneath a pile of old drawings that I was loath to touch. I feel bad.

I feel bad for neglecting these items.

I feel bad for neglecting you.

I should have stayed. I should have tried to hold on, but it just didn't work.

I didn't work.

And for that, I'm sorry.

I wish I could apologize more.

But right now...

I need to figure out how to fix everything,

I need to figure out how to fix myself.

I don't have the answers yet.

I don't know when I will have them.

I don't know if I will ever have them.

But if I find them...

I want to come back.

I want to be part of this group again.

I want it to be like before, when I was somebody and people I didn't know all that well cared for me, even though I'm uninteresting, unfunny, untalented, and unknown.

I want to come back.

I want to mean something.

Thanks to everybody who talked with me, sent me asks, chatted with me, laughed with me, made me feel accepted.

I don't get that often.

I'm so glad to have had the chance.

Maybe I will see you again some day.

But for now, I just want to say...

Thank you. So much.

And I'm sorry.

Mod out.))

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Go listen to this sugoi work! What a good cover!

Ariothsu-sama is very talented.  <3 Prima will definitely subscribe to her channel desu.

Arigatou gozaimasu for showing this to Prima!

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

It's a classic.. And the seifuku are kakkoii~

Demo...

Prima doesn't know a lot about TV. Only singing. But that doesn't mean Prima can't enjoy everything!

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Magic!Anon's mahou powers have gone away..

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Prima is no good at staring contests, Anon-san

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Prima tries <333

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Prima would like everyone to know that... 12-year-olds should not drive cars desu..

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Prima feels bad desu wa... (QAQ);;

((Obviously OOC's search for a kawaii Tonio has fallen short. If anybody knows one that isn't dead, please let me know, thanks!))

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

All hugs, Prima will accept desu yo~!

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Arigatou so much for thinking of watashi, even if it wasn't really Prima's birthday. <3

Gomen for missing it!! 

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Is Anon-san being silly???

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

They look positively sugoi!

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Prima has flowing hair and everything!

Kakkoi desu yo ne?

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

I'M GOING TO SLAP YOU BAKAS!!!

.

.

.

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]

Nani else is this supposed to mean?!?

Sh-SHIPPING???

[askkawaiiprima-blog-blog]