askbrett

[askbrett]

I probably would do that now, but with my band kicking off, I think I'll focus on that instead.

You'd be lucky to take fashion advice from me, babe. That's me, it's because of all the candy edibles I eat. Which I feel like you should try so maybe you'd be able to chill out every once in a while. Also I think it would be funny to see how high you'd get without the use of a broomstick. Of course you would because at this point, I'm 98% you're simply pulling a She's The Man and the real Mason is locked up in your basement. I'm positive I heard his screams in the middle of the night when I was still sleeping over with Dottie.

To show off your vocal talents, by singing, Brett.

Oh babe, do you really think I'd take an fashion advice from you? Supes sweet that you think you could help though. And clearly you don't know me, because I would be just as happy with Mason winning as I would me.

[askbrett]

I'm going to mark that in the not a serial killer column then. Oh, Sam! Sam Evans? He's been my roommate since our freshmen year of college. Blond, even if he's not currently blond, lips that inspired a song called Trouty Mouth. How does one be chill serial killer though?

Not that I recall but then I haven't quite studied the back of her. Who the hell is Sam? I might be a serial killer. Maybe it's both.

[askbrett]

Anytime. Maybe you could meet someone at school or at a party instead? Oh, that's not- Don't do that and definitely stay off the dating apps then so you're not tempted.

Thanks Brett, I appreciate it. I just thinking the dating apps aren't for me. I think if I'd gotten a dick pick I would have just walked off of a cliff.

[askbrett]

If you can, record it. I'll totally owe you one if you do. He's hilarious, but I also fear for his blood pressure sometimes. Exactly, hopefully he doesn't try to murder you. Exactly, but sometimes you simply can't vibe with other stuff and that should be okay too. True, but I feel like there's enough differences for people who know music to make the distinction.

I might do so just to see his face! I love teasing the guy, he's always so funny. But he does take the Warblers super serious so I don't know how well messing around with that would go. Oh I can totally see how just one genre could be SUPER boring. I have a few, they're just sorta similar in a way I guess. And has gotta have meaning to it.

[askbrett]

Derry Girls (2018-2022) Season 2 | Episode 4

[askbrett]

I think you're fine the way you look, Tina, if that helps. I will say maybe the third time could've been the charm, but honestly, I don't think Tinder messages get better than that. Like maybe one in ten are actually decent... least you didn't get a dick pick?

No one even look at me right now. I'm so mortified. I tried to step out of my comfort zone, and I downloaded Tinder. The first message I got? "Hey baby, you'd be fuckable if you took those Hot Topic hair extensions out and dressed normal." The second? "Be my big-titty goth girlfriend, mommy." So, safe to say I deleted the app. I don't even have big boobs!

[askbrett]

We're trying to be positive, Bree! I think it would be the right amount of ambitious to host a Friends-giving. I mostly spend it with Sam and his family day of, but if we work out the days, we can go to yours. I can make my special brownies and my regular special brownies.

Would it be too ambitious of me to try and host a Friends-giving this year? It's the first year I don't have to endure the Brown family Thanksgiving and while I imagine most of you are spending the day of with your loved ones, maybe we can have a potluck the weekend before. I have never been to a potluck but I have heard a lot of good things about them.

[askbrett]

Does she also have that hump they get on their back? Sam's grandparents have that and I forgot they were visiting once and mistook his grandad for the Grim Reaper. It probably didn't help that I had just smoked. I feel like I should ask why you're not a fan, but I'm more interested in your lack of botherment. Are you that chill or are you just a serial killer?

Old. Ancient. She smells the way you’d imagine an old lady would smell. Not a big fan of the word viral but sure.

[askbrett]

I feel like it should be implied, 'cause why else would I audition?

No because I'm not wearing a mask. You should totally wear one though, I think it'll really improve your whole look. I somehow really doubt that, but only because I know you'll do whatever it takes to make sure that the McCarthy that wins is you.

The whole point of auditioning is showing the group what you're bringing to the table. If all you do is rap, for a show choir audition, why would anyone think you could actually sing? Or want to for that matter?

Like the creepy Phantom of the Opera? I wouldn't admit that out loud. And who said he ditched me? Maybe Mason and I agreed to join separate groups to make sure there is a higher change a McCarthy will be on the winning team at Nationals.

[askbrett]

Maybe she can't bowl without the bumpers? How old is she? And hey, why do you look so familiar? Wait a minute, didn't you go viral on TikTok?

I knew Ohio had a rep for being bland, but sweet jesus, simply walking around this town is like being stuck inside a never-ending torture device. I asked my darling landlady for recommendations on stuff to do during the weekend and she said bumper bowling? Who the fuck goes bumper bowling? Why a bumper, specifically? What century is this?

[askbrett]

It really does, but hey, now I have my own band so maybe show choir wasn't the right move. Thanks, dude. But I'm pretty sure Blaine will immediately shoot you down, though I'm honestly tempted to say yes just so you can tell me what his face does when you do. Right! I feel like it's boring if you only stick to one genre of music. Plus, it's always nice to draw inspiration from other stuff that's the approach I take to my art. I totally get that though, sometimes you really can't vibe with things and that's okay too.

That sucks dude. I could try and put a good word in with the Warblers?? I'm not like, in charge or nothing but I could try. A bit of variety is always cool! Nothin' wrong with that at all! Sometimes I wish I would vibe a little more with other genres, I just can't get in the feels so much.

[askbrett]

Private: Is it at least somewhat useful to know? I feel like that's just taking up space. Seriously? And did you get punished a lot as a kid? Yeah, some moms just have that Karen energy. It's somewhere around there, but I know he can deadlift even more.

That's... wow. After your weird Barbie and pyro phase though, I can see that happening. Did you try to fight her or just cut her down with words? I mean... valid. But I think it had more to do with the fact that we weren't in love anymore., I'm just glad I ended it before we ended up hating each other.

Private: Yeah, I had no choice. I also memorised the Gospel of Mark, 1 Timothy, and like half the Psalms. And I can still recite most of it to this day. My mom was all about Bible memorisation as punishment. And her name's Alyssa, but honestly that holds up. God, that guy's strong, he must bench like 300 pounds.

So, I did do it for a while, but I had to stop for the therapist's well-being. Turns out I get super combative when in therapy. Yeah, if your girlfriend was your therapist, there's not a lot of question about why the relationship ended so badly.

[askbrett]

I did! I've honestly been auditioning for them all since freshmen year and nothing. I even did original songs when I applied this past year. Right? I've always gravitated more to rap and hip-hop, but there's just something about punk and metal that soothes the soul, you know? Yeah, totally.

You did? I'm shocked no-one let you in. Seems like some of the clubs could def use more members. Maybe not the TroubleTones, but I've seen it happen before. But honestly, that's the best vibe. I'm hoping for kinda similar. We're on the whole punk/rock/alternative train. Anything to get the peeps in the feel and the heads a bangin'.. but without the destruction of our vocal chords, you feel?

[askbrett]

Instinct had him moving to tug at his hair, a movement he hadn’t actually used for a while now, but in the other’s presence he always seemed to lose himself. But while his hair had grown, it hadn’t grown that long, probably not at least till next year. Brett at least had the gold chain around his neck to fiddle with as he nodded. “Yeah, I- I didn’t want to wear anything else.” 

He took a sip of his beer and then choked a little, a wave of shame hitting him briefly and he lowered the bottle till it was dangling from his fingertips as if he could hide it from view. He wasn’t sure if the other knew he’d been sober for a good while or if he knew he’d broken it just recently. If this was before, Brett knew what he would say. He’d probably give Jacob a teasing smile while asking, good different? 

Now, he felt out of his depth and his smile was self-deprecating. “That tracks, I mean, when was the last time you saw me with short hair? Middle school?” As soon as he said it, he remembered and there was a grimace on his face. He remembered his mother taking him to get his haircut, wanting him to look his best for the following day’s funeral; not knowing that the other family’s customs would have them refrain from doing such things during periods of mourning. The only other thing he remembered from that day was holding his best friend’s hand as he cried.

“You look… good. I- I missed y-” He cut himself off, distracted by the sudden movement over Jacob’s shoulder and he dropped his necklace to grab him, tugging him inside and to the side by the wall next to the door’s frame. One of the partygoers came rushing through a second later, looking green. Brett turned back toward Jacob and blinked, not realizing how close he’d gotten. “Sorry.”

Usually for parties, Jacob Ben Israel counted the days. He couldn't wait to be in the thick of them. He was a beacon for drama, and the potential of it was always too good for him to pass up. Not all of it he posted. The truth was, JBI just liked to know things. Too bad lately he couldn't seem to care about much of anything.

He put up the motions, running into some familiar faces that were actually happy to see him. And of course others who weren't - but that was to be expected. What wasn't really to be expected, though, was coming face to face with him.

"Brett." Brett and him were on two different planets lately. And yet they were still matching. "Yeah," he muttered, instinctively adjusting his shirt. His eyes ran over him. "You wore yours." Jacob cleared his throat. "You look..." His tongue felt heavy. "Different."

[askbrett]

"You know, I tried to get the guys to call me Big Red after we watched that movie, but they wouldn't," Brett laughed, shaking his head. "Also, if you're already a cheerleader, does it really count as a costume?" He took a sip from his beer and used the bottle to gesture toward Bree's outfit. @askbree

[askbrett]

( private )

Right. 'Cause I totally take people into the bathroom at parties to just talk. I think you might need to get your eyes checked because the last time JBI was into someone it was Rachel Berry, who isn't any of that either. But I think he doesn't really care what someone looks like, I should know, he was my best friend for years. He's just... into intense people. I think so. Do you stare longingly at people you don't want to be with? A little of column A and a little of column B. I'm just trying to spread positivity, Bree. Isn't that what we wanted to do? You don't know about Lil' Smokie? He's my rat. I've had him since my freshmen year. He's almost three, so basically ancient.

True! Well, at first through JBI, but he's been both of our lawyers for a couple of years now. I know about half because it was basically my job for JBI to know, but we were pretty sure if we went public with any of it, there would be a hit on us so we didn't dig. Yet. Honestly? More than my life probably costs, that's for sure. I would like to think so, but I can't say for sure. I want to be able to say no every once in a while.

( private )

I can say with absolute confidence that you did not see anything from JBI and I that should lead you to believe that your matchmaking skills did anything at all. Besides, I'm pretty sure his type is freckle faced red headed men and maybe you forgot what I look like or who I am but I am quite literally the opposite of that. Do they even want to be together though? Have you bothered asking, or are you just going to continue putting them in weird situations hoping they'll have some magic fairytale kiss? What if they're happoest as friends? Are you pushing them together for them and their happiness or for you and yours? Who is lil smokie and should I be concerned for them, because I am already concerned.

To be fair Amazon also has a source so I don't know what I was thinking. Do you know this lawyer through JBI, or did he just call him because that's who they trusted the most or who he was use to calling? You have no idea the stuff she is currently getting away with and if you think you do I promise you don't. How much do you owe and if you could pay it off would you be able to stop? Do you want to stop?

[askbrett]

Private: Oh my god. Did you actually do it? Do you still remember it? Yeah, I think she might be the opposite of chill... Is she a total Karen? Is her name Karen? I don't remember the baseball, but I know I ate the Cheetos, I love those things. They're addicting as hell. It was absolutely Sam and I know because I got tossed over his other shoulder.

If you see the value, are you going to do it? To make yourself more well-adjusted? But I don't know, I think being with Dottie who was a psych major was as close as I want to get to the subject.

Private: No exorcism, but she did made me memorise the entire book of Romans over the summer between 4th and 5th grade. She's not exactly what you can describe as chill, especially when it comes to demons. Yeah, honestly the only thing I remember from that night was asking you for drugs, something with a baseball, something with a bag of Cheetos that I hope I didn't eat, and then someone tossing me over their shoulder, who I guess was Sam, considering I woke up in his bed.

Why? I mean listen, I'm not the most well-adjusted person but even I can see value in therapy.