asheelaine

[asheelaine]

“aftermath of the jungle on earth (post-ignition)” (2019) - installation: projection, sound, cardboard, paper, plastic, leaves, branches, tape, hot glue, spray paint ((snippets of the piece))—/:

thinking about portraits as sculpture and the fabrication of memory with biased and flawed material literally and poetically — the documentation and creation of a dynamic with another no longer, the burning up and burning out of love into something finally extinguished yet forever in a state of ember— barley breathing- residue of life - mark on self through the experience occurring at all — wildfire in past but charring forever present// questions of natural occurrence and necessity of the damage and healing provided by beginning middle and end - stalemate - internal doubt in the validation of these feelings/ that it’s ok to think it was bad and say so— was it real? is my conclusion real? valid? is it ok that there were good parts? i touched and i was burned, how much of this is about me and how much of it is you

[asheelaine]

“core collapse”(2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, glass, plastic, construction paper, cellophane, sharpie, plastic jewels, ink //

text: wilting under an eclipsed sun and moon_a star-strewn, desolate garden and pool_”i love you” i only do this for you, do you understand, do you? // i’m sorry all i think about is // all i think about is you

—————

taking notes from little rabbit//:- nothing has changed one bit, faux optimist, reanimated out of dust and dirt and a mother whose already lost enough/ look up look up look up// shifting to see the light show

[asheelaine]

“little rabbit” (2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, fluorescent pigment, bubble wrap, plastic, construction paper, rhinestones, wax, heart confetti, red string, glass ///

a fucked up fascination with how deeply it hurts://sticking fingers inside and tugging, out out out all over the ground into the grass shameshameshameembarassing sticky sweet all between little fingers small hands tiny paws, make a meal out of the scraps and pocket a little extra for good luck if that’s all it’s all good for (don’t let it go to waste please don’t let it go to waste please let it be for something anything just something-

limp on impact, oh little rabbit.

[asheelaine]

“nevrknewu” (2020) - cardboard, LED lights, plastic, hot glue, paper, acrylic, ink, sound, hidden/embedded text: here, miss u///  thinking of memorials, making memorials for those i love yet never knew, communication between realms, mortality, the immortality of memories, would u have liked me would u have loved me, can i love u without ever have touched u seen u heard u, language beyond word, the construction of love through our own subjective lens, the literal construction of memory thru our biases and gaps in our memory, collective memory, growing out from the souls of memory/lineage/bloodline, trying to go home, digging down (way down) in a last attempt if the little rabbit can’t jump high enough to get to you either

[asheelaine]

“wishful thinking” (2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, fluorescent pigment, glass, plastic ///

[asheelaine]

“a shot in the dark”(2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, fluorescent pigment, glass, plastic, wood, construction paper, cellophane, sharpie, plastic jewels, holographic*, ink

1.pleasepleasepleaseplease

2.oh

3.wow

4.nononononono

self portrait and the sinking feeling of *****making one

n the sky parted to make way, some kinda miracle of a star alignment, deer in sacred headlights, there hasn’t been light here in a while, does that scare you, same kind way it’s scary to notice something again, yknow when you get something back that you forgot you lost at all, that kinda acknowledgment on losing grasp of something something something something n u changed in its or maybe alongside its withoutness without knowing, or maybe u did a little, like something out the corner of your eye it’s a shot in the dark///what else has gone without you looking

[asheelaine]

“limp on impact”(2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, fluorescent pigment, glass, plastic, construction paper, cellophane, light ///

‘little rabbit shot for the stars��

‘trying to jump eons across blues and pinks and oranges and purples and deep deep deep expanses of black’

‘it’s okay to fall through the clouds if it means it’ll end with being there with you’

fragments of a northern star scattered amongst unkept windswept fur, it’ll stay a little while// starry eyed and blinded by the light, rabbit feet and shining stars, can it still be good luck for you for when it’s all still here??:————- ‘guess how much i love you’

jumped for you //limp on impact

getting absorbed into the background of before the before and before the exact moment before before stopped being then and became now and immediately permanently after

[asheelaine]

“when eros’ paper wings burned up in the invisible boundary line” (2020):// acrylic, marker, glitter, rhinestones, hot glue, glass, cardboard, paper, light, sound//::—

“I tried to fly up to see you, but I realized my wings are made of paper, so they burned up in the lights of the invisible boundary line.” (the invisible boundary line being where the sky and water meet in an uncut connection, an entry way to the heavens) “And so I fell into the clouded ocean of sugar water, and all I could do was reach for you you you you you you-”//// “i tried” “to fly” “up” “to see you” “you” “i miss you” “i love you”

[asheelaine]

“chunk outta /// side” (2024):// plush*, paint marker, glitter/rhinestones/sticker jewels, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, light ///

glitter infested cardboard and steaming sticky dirt armor and last ditch efforts and tectonic plates crashing and cracking with spit to hold it all together for a few more seconds before you press your sticky fingers inside

‘divergent boundary’ embarrassing embarrassing embarrassing

if this was all //// had left to give you would that be okay

would this be enough

would you taste it anyways

would you give it back to ///// to go with the rest or would you try to fit it inside with yours, would you force a spot for it anyways if it didn’t slide in nice and clean

would you make a bloody mess, would you tear a chunk out for ////// to keep, would you bleed yourself dry to show //////// you meant it even if you run the risk of ////////////// not believing you anyways

[asheelaine]

“flashbang blind”(2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, plastic, construction paper, cellophane, plastic jewels, ink

eros adorned in a star dusted coat/wrapped covered coated in the leftover sweetness of little rabbits entrails n thin veil of soul and whoever else whatever else they can find————// “ - love — I - i love you i love you i love love love love love l o ve lov e l o v e you - you you you y ou o y o u “

over n over over n over n over n over n over in the dark, when the lights went out, when the sky went empty /at least it seemed ****

where it starts and ends, i think

[asheelaine]

“shooting for the stars”(2024)://paint marker, glitter, hot glue, cardboard, acrylic, glass, plastic, construction paper, cellophane, sharpie, plastic jewels, ink // text: youyouyouyouyou, littlerabbitshootingforthestars

fragments of a northern star scattered amongst unkept windswept fur, it’ll stay a little while// starry eyed and blinded by the light, rabbit feet and shining stars, can it still be good luck for you for when it’s all still here??:————- ‘guess how much i love you’//limp on impact

searching for home inside a haunted house

looking up at the stars for a family reunion

“little rabbit shooting for the stars”

“trying to jump eons across blues and pinks and oranges and purples and deep deep deep expanses of black”

“it’s okay to fall if it means it’ll end with being there with you”