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why watch dream smp streams on the 16th of the month when you can just shoot heroin straight into your veins? you’ll get the same rush

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you wanna know what peak gender euphoria is? earlier today a group of boys at school were arguing over what my gender is, ending with one of them pointing at me and yelling “DUDE THAT IS NOT A GIRL”

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in recent news I am in love

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every time i manage to get caught up on the dream smp lore something else happens that completely throws me off. what’s this shit about schlatt being alive didn’t he just fucking die

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an unstoppable force (c!phil being angsty because he's very traumatized and hurt) meets an immovable object (cc!phils inability to not laugh about every joke ranboo and techno tells)

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I love how C!Dream thinks C!Wilbur is going to be any help getting him out of the prison. Wilbur is possibly the one of the worst pvpers on the entire server and he has a maxed stat in intelligence and charisma and literally nothing else. What's he going to do? Flirt with Sam until he lets them out?

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PHILZA CONFIRMING HE WAS GETTING LETTERS FROM WILBUR TELLING ME ABOUT HIS TIME IN THE SMP BUT THEY STOPPED SO HE GOT WORRIED AND WANTED TO CHECK ON HIM? SO HE JOINED THE SMP?

DON'T TALK TO ME

I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW.

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mr beetlejuice, are you aware that four different people have plotted to revive you so far

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Phil’s reaction to Michael

If you missed it, in Phil’s latest stream Tubbo and Ranboo introduce him and Fundy to Michael, their adopted son. If you aren’t following Tubbo or Ranboo’s storylines you may have missed that they recently got canonically married and the zombie piglin baby they rescued from the nether on Valentine’s Day is now being recognized as their son (originally was meant to be a pet). 

Phil and Tubbo have had a bad relationship starting during the Butcher Army when Tubbo tried to execute Techno for his part in destroying L’Manberg the first time. Phil, being close to Techno, took his side despite being a citizen and ultimately joined Techno in Doomsday and then moved with him to their snow commune. Since then Tubbo’s been on bad terms with both of them, and they haven’t interacted since.

This is the first (arguably?) canon interaction we’ve seen between them since that day, and it’s clear even Phil is a bit on the fence. He makes it clear at one point on the way to Snowchester that he hasn’t forgotten, and doesn’t even want to get into everything Tubbo’s done, but for the most part they were able to converse amicably. I wouldn’t doubt Ranboo’s presence made a big difference there, and Phil knowing that Ranboo is close to Tubbo now will make it harder for him to hold onto negative feelings.

They introduce Phil to Michael and at first he just doesn’t know what to say. Which is… valid. I mean 2 teenagers taking in a zombie pigman child and raising it as their own? What do you even say to that? He gives them vague compliments and laughs a bit at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

And then… he starts to question their parenting. He asks why they’re keeping him cooped up, hidden from the world. He, along with Fundy, argue with them about their parenting tactics and question their capability. He even jokingly puts Michael in danger, when Fundy was killed by Tubbo for something he said and Fundy threatened to hurt Michael if he came back and stuff was missing. Phil put all of Fundy’s items in a chest except for his armor and weapons and waited to see it play out. Luckily Fundy realized Phil had them and got them back, but if Fundy hadn’t waited to hear it out Michael could’ve died. Tubbo chastises Phil for being dangerous, and Phil laughs and says Wilbur turned out fine. And then he’s reminded of his son, and how he actually turned out, becomes somber and he sees himself out.

This is arguably one of the first instances we’ve really seen Phil talk about Wilbur and take responsibility for what part he had in how Wilbur turned out to be. His mood changes immediately when he realizes what he was saying and he leaves the house, and ends up accidentally drowning Ghost Squeeks because he set off a creeper that blew up some ice and got Squeeks trapped under. He mutters to himself that everything he touches dies, and then he leaves Snowchester.

I think this is such a interesting character moment that a lot of people might miss because it happens unexpectedly and is like 4 hours into a 5 hour stream. But it’s important to Phil’s character, if only because we’re finally seeing some regret from him in how he raised Wilbur, what his parenting or lack thereof did to someone who was once as little and innocent as Michael is now. I think seeing Michael, happy and waddling around his nursery filled C!Phil with regret and perhaps even envy, because Tubbo and Ranboo have the chance to do it right, and he knows that even if they make mistakes they’ll probably do a better job than he feels he ever did. 

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he’s all i think about

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jschlatt just going wild with his bold font voice was definitely my favorite part of this tftsmp

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forgive if this is the wrong take, but glatts dynamic with the twins seems very fun

he’s like their weird uncle that encourages their murderous behaviors

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not gonna lie that pringles looking guy is kinda sus

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Tubbo “I reckon they’re dating” 

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[Ranboo falls into lava]

Schaltt: NO MY BELOVED!