arteriovenous

[arteriovenous]

@starspurn said "here. you like this cute shit, right?" it's a little pink phone charm. touya snatched it off a failed league recruit, and thus it's also slightly charred at the edge. the glinting of it had caught his eye and he'd grabbed it without a second thought. "keep it."

she'd been gearing up to tease him, injecting her tone with as much dry mockery as she could in preparation for a particularly dramatic duh in response to the most unncessary question she's ever heard, before she notices the flash of pink and all the exaggerated reponses die in her throat. he's being nice. it isn't as though she still thinks he's incapable of it, not after all the time the league has spent together and how well they've grown accustomed to each other, but she isn't expecting it either and it's enough to leave her briefly stunned before a bright grin splits her features.   ❝ only the cutest! c'mon, let me see. ❞   part of her isn't expecting the gift to be as cute as promised but it is, even charred at the edges and smelling ever so slightly of smoke, and the too - sharp edge of her smile softens as a gentle warmth blooms in her chest.

she's deadly still for a moment as she cradles the gift in her hands, barely resisting the temptation to do something stupid like try and hug him to alleviate the sudden cloying fondness colouring her thoughts. himiko remembers this feeling in the distant, cloudy way that she remembers most of her early childhood. she remembers a boy with the same dirty blonde hair as her and a matching grin and she remembers the sheer delight that suffused her whenever he was willing to share and she remembers being sure that she'd never feel that way again. she doesn't mind being wrong, sometimes.

it feels like a lifetime before she manages to shake the ridiculous notion and her hands are steady again, slipping her battered phone from her pocket and quickly affixing the charm with a pleased hum. it matches perfectly, complimentary shades of pink and equally scuffed, and once she's sure the charm won't slip free she can't resist holding it up for him to see  —  compelled to prove that she likes the gift, as though the permanent smile wasn't telling enough.   ❝ are you sure you don't like cute shit, touya? you're so good at finding this stuff! ❞

[arteriovenous]

i think a lot about how much himiko genuinely likes cute things. part of it is due to so many years spent repressing her interests, which is true for a great deal of things in the long run, but she always liked cute. she just didn't have the option to go wild for cute things like she wanted to before she was away from her parents who wanted her to be normal and blend in and not draw attention to herself

but now she's got the freedom? she is going to steal so much cute stuff. she's going to get the stupid sparkly hair clips that she thought were adorable but weren't allowed. she's going to clip a mess of silly keychains to her favourite knives because its cute and she loses her burner phones more often than she does her knives so clearly that makes sense, and if they get a little blood on them that's fine! it'll still be cute! she's going to wear skirts and cute shorts even if the weather is freezing because she can now and its one of the smaller freedoms she has after leaving her family but she clings to it anyway because she finally gets to like cute things in peace

[arteriovenous]

@starspurn said it's better not to ask if touya's gift for himiko was legally acquired, because they both know it wasn't. he just saw it and thought she should have it. "if you don't like it, tough. return it or whatever." it's a warm winter coat, thrust her way with all the energy of an elder brother trying his best not to act like he cares and just wants her to stay safe in the cold weather. he chose the one with the pink fur trim on the hood. it seems her sort of style. he'd guessed at the sizing. "... merry christmas."

the thing is, she hadn't expected anything. she'd half - forgotten that christmas was something she wouldn't be spending alone to begin with, until she'd snuck into town on an errand and had been confronted with the reminders lurking around every corner and then she hadn't known what to do, really. himiko knows exactly what the league is to her now despite the fact they'd been nothing more than a convenient way to be closer to mister stainy's ideals when giran had first found her, but the fact they fit so neatly into the gaping hole in her chest like they were always meant to be there didn't help when christmas was the question she was dealing with. did any of them even care about christmas? would any of them want a gift, even if she could find something worth offering to them?

she hadn't expected anything but touya is holding out a gift and she'd be an idiot to question it so she doesn't, lunging forward to snatch the coat from him with all the speed she usually reserves for a fight. 

❝ i can't return something if you stole it, dummy. ❞   her voice is undeniably fond, even muffled as it is by the way she's burrowed her face into the jacket to hide watery eyes because that's so embarrassing and she doesn't want to acknowledge it, but after a too - long moment of rubbing her cheek against the jacket like a particularly contented cat she finally lifts her head to shoot him a grin.   ❝ besides, i don't wanna return it. i didn't realize you were so good at cute, but it's perfect! ❞   maybe. she's been far too busy dwelling on the fact that touya gave her anything at all to worry about minor details like whether the jacket even fits with her habit of wearing as many layers as she can get her hands on when the weather turns cold, but it still feels perfect and the cursory examination of the warm fabric and adorable pink trim only makes her more confident in her assessment.   ❝ thanks, touya. merry christmas. ❞

[arteriovenous]

she only laughs at his suggestion, a sharp peal of short - lived amusement despite the fact himiko is well aware that some of the paranormal liberation front would be happy to see the league out of their villa despite the way re-destro practically doted on them ever since tomura had proven himself worthy. their boy king may be the leader now, but that didn't mean she'd forgotten how badly the weirdo's little followers had wanted them dead before.   ❝ oooo, that could be fun! do i get to take the rest of the league with me? though, maybe you guys should keep dabi. he'd definitely burn everything down and then we'd have to come back and you'd have to buy us way more stuff anyway to make up for what he wrecked. ❞   it's easy to play into the joke when it's offered up so readily, latching onto the tangent like a life preserver as she skips along behind skeptic towards the building that doubles as a cage. they're safe at the villa and she knows it, knows this is what they need if their plans have any chance of working, but there's something strangely idyllic about the picture the meaningless joke has painted. it's the perfect distraction, at least for a moment.

she doesn't flinch when he calls out her blatant lie, but it's a near thing. there's a painful itch in her fingers, a temptation to slip her favourite knife from her pocket and lash out, but himiko forces a steadying breath that is over - loud in the quiet instead. she should have known better than to think it would be that easy.

❝ i'm hungry, that's all. for stuff i can't get here. ❞   or maybe she could if she asked nice enough, if she cornered the right person and lied about it being a necessary measure for the sake of the regiment and said all the right words she could get a few drops to ease the ache in her teeth, but the thought of it is enough to make her queasy. she doesn't like any of them enough for the idea to be appealing  —  except maybe the league themselves, the ones that had burrowed into her heart and eased the ache that had become so familiar over the years, but she knows asking them for anything is a far worse idea than living with her hunger.   ❝ don't make a big deal out of it, i can still do my job! and i'll be fine in a few days, it's just  . . .  bad, right now. it'll go away. ❞

Nice. The word itself stirs in him the urge to grind his teeth together. He settles for clenching his jaw, narrowing his eyes down at her with scrutiny. When people believe you are nice, that's tantamount to opening the gates of exploitation. Kindness is the equivalent to setting out a doormat that welcomes others to attempt to walk all over you.

" I am not being nice, I am being practical. " As if that distinction matter when the members of the League did whatever they pleased anyway. Re-Destro may spoil them but he was going to firmly keep his feet planted. Though he is smart enough to be aware that their interactions will go smoother if he doesn't immediately jump to arguments. Being perceptive pays off and he knows there's more that's bothering her.

" If you're not so keen on being cooped up, we could just build you a hut in the middle of the woods and let you scrounge for survival. It'd spare our war funds from sushi and clothing, " he remarks with a laugh. It's only partially serious. He's heard the complaints from others about discontent with being 'trapped' in the Villa. While it didn't make sense to him, he could relate to having to compromise. Even temporarily living here with all of them was starting to get to him and he envied the clone of him that was living his daily life in his stead.

Tomoyasu is taken somewhat aback when she grows insistent that he do the same as he requested of her.

" I can still perform my duties regardless of my health and I don't need you to tell me how to take care of myself, " was his argument. It doesn't, however, stop him from turning back towards the main building, waiting for her to follow him. " It's not being inside that's bothering you, anyway. "

[arteriovenous]

anonymous said "About Jin"

❝ i don't understand him. he's always contradicting himself and going back on everything and i never know which parts of it he actually means  —  but he's nice to me. he's nice to all of us. i like his company, and big sis mags'! i don't mind if it takes him extra time to explain himself sometimes. he talks too much but he still listens to me. that's better than before. being with the league is better than how things were before. ❞

❝ people act like we're abnormal, like there's something wrong with both of us. they're the ones who are wrong. he's like me. he cares about us! jin feels more deeply than the rest of them, like i do, but that's a good thing. it isn't his fault that his thoughts are extra loud or that other people don't understand him. he's trying to be a good teammate — a good friend. we'll make this right for big sis mag and then everything will start to be okay again. i'm glad tomura sent me with jin, even if i hate having to play nice with these stupid gangsters. he needs someone to look out for him when he's all upset like this, to make sure he doesn't split. none of them would care if he did even though it hurts him! only me and the league do, so i'm going to help him. i'm not going to let overhaul take him from us too. ❞

❝ he's been so annoying ever since i got hurt. i don't even have any new scars to show for it and my eye is fine too. i know he's all stressed because he found me before i woke up, but i'm fine now! i don't like when he's all upset like this. i don't like it when any of the league is upset, especially not because of me. its like — its like he's going to split all the time, even when he's still all covered up, and its because of me. because he had to save me. jin's even been spending more time with that new guy that dabi brought back instead of the rest of the league! its annoying. its not fair, either. i didn't mean to get hurt that bad, i was trying to do what tomura would have done. we even have a better chance now that our future king is in charge of everyone! things should be better now, so i don't know why he's still being all weird and upset. i don't like that. i want it to go back to how things were. i want my friend back. ❞

❝ jin saved me. he saved me twice. he was better than any of those heroes ever were. jin saved me, so i'll kill every last hero for him. i'll make it right for him, like we made things right for mags. ❞

[arteriovenous]

@starspurn said about : touya!

❝ he always acts like he's so much cooler than the rest of us, even though giran found him for tomura the same as me! his quirk isn't even special — everyone's seen fire before, there's heaps of people who can do that! the only interesting thing is that it's blue, but i guess he was useful when we had steal that angry guy for tomura. and he likes mr stainy and all those scars make him look... maybe half as cool as he thinks he is. i want to know where he got them from, but he's too annoying to ask. he's going to be no fun but tomura wants to keep him, so it isn't like i have a choice. he isn't any better than i am! none of us would be here if the world wasn't so hard for us to live in. ❞

❝ sometimes everything smells like blood around him. not in a good way, either, like when its fresh from a fight and everyone's all happy from winning. he's still annoying, but he — i don't like it when the league is beaten up, even if its dabi. we're meant to be a team now, so we need him! he won't be able to find us any new recruits if he's hurt too bad, but i don't think he trusts any of us enough to let us try and fix him up. i don't know if i could when he's all scarred up like that, but i could try! i stitched myself up plenty of times. i wouldn't even ask for a drop, i wouldn't take any of it. i just don't want to lose him like we lost big sis mag. i don't want to lose anyone again. ❞

❝ i wish he told us earlier. touya is one of us. if we knew, maybe we could have found a way to trick the heroes. i saw his brother at the licensing exam. i would have killed him right there, if that would have made him happy. if it made all of this easier for him, i'd do it. the heroes keep hurting people and no one cares about any of it, except for us, so we have to carve out our own place in the world to keep living in it. touya tried to burn out everything bad so i could smile again and it was the nicest thing anyone's done since — since forever. if i use his gift properly, then maybe we can both keep smiling. he's all i have left. ❞

❝ he left me behind, like everyone else did. i don't know if touya succeeded or if those heroes ruined it all for him, the way they ruined everything else for us, but i hope it worked. i really hope he got to smile. ❞

[arteriovenous]

@sleepdeprxved said “About Nia”

❝ she's nice. she's nice and she's pretty and i think she must be clever too, even though she worries too much when she doesn't have to. her style is so not cute to me, but it suits her so well. it's so cool on her, and that's nearly as good as cute! i wish i could wear all the stuff i want like she does — or we could go out to shop together! i hope tomura leaves room for her when its time to make our new world, nia and whoever she wants to keep with her. maybe she won't have to worry so much once everything's better. ❞

[arteriovenous]

@skepticxsm said About Skeptic~

❝ i didn't like him. i didn't like any of them. they wanted us dead, and they upset jin! it was like he was going to split all the time even when he was all covered up, and it's because of whatever they did to him after i killed that stupid interviewer. i didn't like him — but he was a good co-commander, even when he was mad about how much his boss spoiled us or whatever. it's almost like he was one of us! and he stayed, for a little while. i liked him more than the rest of them, i guess, so it would be... nice if he wasn't unhappy when this is over. ❞

[arteriovenous]

@sleepdeprxved said 🧡😨💄

🧡

himiko was a good enough actress to have plenty of friends throughout her life, a little group of people who fell for her act of normalcy and would graciously overlook her slip ups if they had enough time between slips to forget about them. it was always tenuous, always reliant on her managing to maintain the mask, but for the most part she managed to float her way between groups of friends consistently enough that there was always someone who hadn't decided she was weird yet. none of those friends did anything to make her feel less alone or less isolated, though

the first friends she had that genuinely felt like friends were some of the league. there was big sis mag first and then big bro jin and as time went on she came to consider tomura and spinner and compress and dabi her friends too. she never knew if it was one sided in the end, but she didn't feel alone around them. she didn't feel like she had to hide around them, even when dabi snapped back at her when she teased him or spinner questioned why she was still there despite stain's influence being gone. she loved them and she didn't feel isolated when she was with them and the discomfort she used to feel around her so - called friends in high school was mercifully absent with them and that was all she needed to know they were her first true friends. she hoped she could add ochako and izuku and tsuyu to that list, somehow, but that didn't quite work out for her

😨

for a long time, himiko's greatest fears revolved around what would happen if she slipped up. the older she was the more severe the consequences were for any moments of percieved abnormality and she couldn't help but fear what would happen if she went too far, if she made a mistake she couldn't make amends for. she had already been isolated from her siblings in her own home, wasn't allowed to spend too long outside with her friends for fear that she'd hurt one of them, and she couldn't help but imagine what her parents would resort to next if she did something else they deemed deviant. would they send her away? would everyone she knew reject her? would her family decide she was too much trouble and it wasn't worth protecting their image anymore and have her locked up because of her bad - creepy - perverse quirk? 

then she slipped up worse than ever and it was the best moment of her life and she wasn't scared of what her peers and family would do anymore

the fear of being locked away never truly left her, though. she doesn't like feeling trapped. she doesn't like being contained. she plays it off with complaints of boredom but it genuinely puts her on edge and the last thing she ever wants is to end up in jail. it terrifies her. after she befriends the league and begins to genuinely care for them, it gives her a new fear   —   losing the few loved ones she had. she manages to avoid the cage she'd dreaded for so long in the end, but her second worst fear comes true as she loses the league one piece after another

💄

himiko used to love makeup, for a reason beyond her typical fascination with things deemed cute. the first time she saw any real value in it beyond her initial idle curiosity and the desire to blend in with her peers was the day she saw a woman with the most intriguing little beauty spot near her eye. himiko became momentarily obsessed with it, as she does so often with things she finds beautiful, and it ignited that familiar bad - wrong - abnormal itch under her skin to become that woman and have that little detail and the scattering of freckles on her own skin. that wouldn't have been allowed, even if she had managed to find the stranger again and siphon some of her blood, but she was allowed to have makeup. she was allowed and it was easy to carefully draw the same little mark beneath her eye, a neat little brown dot that didn't look out of place despite how new it was, and it wasn't nearly as satisfying as truly stealing the other's face would have been but it was enough to ease the worst of the painful itch that demanded mimicry and that victory lead to her experimenting more and more with makeup when she had the time both because it was an easy distraction and because it did something to quell the urge to do worse to changer her appearance. makeup was both genuinely fun to her and acceptably normal, to the point that her mother even encouraged her new interest and bought her more eyeshadow palettes and lip balms than himiko ever needed

himiko doesn't care about makeup nearly as much after joining the league, in part because she has more important things to worry about and in part because she refuses to test her luck and risk getting caught trying to steal something so meaningless, but she always tries to keep a tube of her favourite pomegranate flavoured lip balm right next to her favourite knife in her pocket. back when they were all still hanging around in the bar and things were a little less chaotic she still took the risk sometimes and it wasn't uncommon to see her with a strange new eyeshadow colour because she was bored, but after they were chased out of there and things grew more serious her interest was pushed to the backburner 

[arteriovenous]

❝ oh. ❞   it was the last thing she'd expected to hear, confusion clear in the furrow of her brow and the way she slouches back into the warmth of her jacket with the slightest pout.   ❝ that was... nice of you. ❞   it isn't that she'd wanted to fight  —  not really, not with tomura's words still weighing heavy in her mind like an anchor despite how long it had been since she'd first heard them, not with the importance of this newfound alliance made so painfully apparent. she doesn't want to fight, not really, not when tomura believes in her and the paranormal liberation front has a chance of doing something the league couldn't have managed on their own.

and even without all of that, she hadn't really wanted a fight. she'd expected one, that's all.

she settles for a brief, steadying breath before forcing a wan smile, idly windmilling her arms in a vain attempt to force warmth back into her extremities as she bounds across to meet him.   ❝ i never get sick! i didn't the whole time we spent on the road before here, anyway, and it was cold all the time then. and that was way better than being cooped up in there. ❞   its easier to focus on meaningless chatter about the temperature and not the fact she had chosen to spend her time outside in the cold to begin with, overconfident to a fault and convinced the lazy deflection would be good enough.   ❝ i'll go back inside if you do. we're co-commanders, right? that means i can't let you get sick either! especially not when you have to do all that computer stuff, whatever that is. see, i can be nice too. ❞

He'd been using his observational tools to do many tasks within their compound, one of which included picking up on the League's habits and inclinations. At least the parts that were worth noting, since he's got a lot of surveillance to cover on top of keeping tabs on locations and a hefty collection of data. And now he's got another personal issue that he was trying to keep his mind away from. If he took his mind off of it to look inwards, it might have been overwhelming, but if he kept his attention on everything else than it was never a problem.

Right now, Tomoyasu was going to get to the bottom of why his regiment co-leader was displaying some unusual behavior. At least as far as that lot was concerned when it came to unusual. He could have readily dismissed this as the propensity of a teenage girl, but decides instead to investigate on his own.

" ...I suppose that's a reasonable assessment. " Gross is not the word he would have chosen yet he can't disagree with it. Holding his closed laptop against his side, Skeptic holds his ground as she turns on him with an outburst. There's a twinge of indignation once she starts on him, a twitch at the corner of his eye that was unperceivable through the curtain of his bangs. He could bite back but chooses to bite his tongue instead. For now. " I came here to check on you. As you're co-commander it is my responsibility to see to the welfare of my regiment. And additionally, the temperature is going to make a rough drop and we can't afford any of our leaders to get ill during this crucial time. "

[arteriovenous]

@starspurn said "buy that one. i dunno." touya, in the manner of a disgruntled elder sibling, begins tapping a foot impatiently against the ground. a plastic bag of take-out food is slung over one wrist. it's their turn to bring home food. he's watching himiko pick dessert. his hood's tugged low over his face, as if that'll prevent anyone outside recognising him, and he keeps glancing carefully down the street. watchful. "whatever we pick, someone will whine. just get what you want."

❝ you're no help. ❞ she's careful to keep her voice low in a bid to avoid attention, even with the petulant whine curling around the words and the way she reaches back to bat at him ( but still careful not to touch, the gesture more for show than anything else. ) it's far from the most important task the league's ever entrusted her with but it still feels strangely vital to get right despite the fact finding the perfect dessert is equal parts impossible and meaningless, if only because this is the only job she has for the day. still, as useless as the suggestion had felt, it isn't as though she has any better ideas — and the last thing himiko wants is to be caught because they're arguing about dessert, the thought unbearably humiliating and enough to spur her into action. ❝ if everyone complains, i'm telling them you picked it! i'm not taking the fall for you. ❞ the ineffectual threat escapes with a huff, all exaggerated annoyance as she pulls her stolen beanie down more snugly over messy hair, before she turns her attention back to the stall and the dessert that touya picked. if nothing else, at least the choice means they can get off the street soon.

[arteriovenous]

Was just diagnosed with “need to bite you” disorder. Yeah sorry it’s terminal. The only cure is biting you. C’mere.

[arteriovenous]

@historias-multorum said hc + 😃

himiko was a very happy child before her quirk developed, even if her father wasn't fond of how noticeably feline her eyes were or the short fangs that came in after she lost her baby teeth. obsessed with image as her parents could be, they still loved her until they caught her with the bird that was her first taste of blood and himiko was happy. she had her baby siblings and her parents and she was happy. after her quirk developed and created a rift between her and her family, after she was pushed into quirk counselling that did more harm than good to her mental state, she wasn't happy again for a very long time. not until she found her new family, strange and piecemeal as they were. the league was the only thing that made himiko happy again

sitting with jin and listening to him work through whatever's on his mind makes her happy, as does the way they lean towards the same schemes more often than not when left to their own devices. spending time with big sis mag made her happy, because she'd never had a big sister before and never someone who listened to her talking about her skin not feeling right and not recognising the person in the mirror before she ran away and seemed to understand it like magne did. teasing dabi and having him take the bait makes her happy, because he doesn't handle her like something fragile and she finds it delightful to have someone who plays along ( even if dabi might not realize he's playing the game at all. ) peering over tomura's shoulder while he's playing some game she has absolutely no understanding of or genuine interest in makes her happy, because it's nice to see something he cares about. listening to mister compress talk about his performances and his tricks makes her happy, as does his habit of always keeping a spare costume for her in his little orbs because she hates having to scrounge for clothes after she transforms and it's kind of him. chattering away to spinner about their shared admiration for mr stainy ( and later, tomura too ) makes her happy, as did the way he accepted she had to leave and encouraged her to go and find her answers as long as she came back to them once everything was over. even hawks made her happy for a little while, because he was new and strange but he was going to be one of them and jin liked spending time with him and he had the most beautiful red wings and the idea of him being like the rest of the league and accepting her was delightful. thinking of the world they're going to create together once tomura had destroyed everything they hate makes her happy, because it's a world where all her loved ones that love her too will be happy and how could that make her anything less than ecstatic? her loved ones are her biggest source of happiness because the league are all outcasts in some way but they have each other, have carved out a little section of the world for themselves, and she doesn't feel bad around them the way she did around so many others. they made her feel accepted, so of course she felt happiest with them

every time she loses a piece of the league, it's another piece of her fragile happiness too. jin's death and hawks' betrayal happening in the same moment was the biggest blow and that being followed by ochako's rejection was really the beginning of the end for her happiness with the league. even the brief moments she manages to claw back after that, such as when dabi offers her jin's blood, are hollowed out by the losses she's faced and the fact there's so few people left to share that happiness with. the moment of pure joy she finds in ochako's acceptance is similarly bittersweet, because it came far too late for it to change her actions but it at least settled her heart enough for her to feel content as she died. the happiest time in her life was when she was with the league, even when things were rough and they were on the run from heroes or machia or dealing with the yakuza, because she was with her little group of people and that was enough

[arteriovenous]

in my canon for himiko's family, after her quirk presented her parents started to try and limit her time unsupervised with her siblings out of fear she'd hurt them — and, as bloodthirsty as she was even then, she wasn't at the stage where she would have hurt her siblings to try and appease that hunger. it wasn't even something she'd considered properly yet, the only blood she'd ever had coming from a dead bird and her injured friend when they were already hurt. she hadn't quite conceptualized the idea of hurting someone else to take their blood yet, not something living and breathing and definitely not her siblings who would have been scared and fought back, but her parents didn't trust her and limited her time with them more and more as she grew older and the quirk counselling proved ineffective. while this fed into himiko's feelings of isolation, it also did protect her siblings from her inevitable breakdown after too many years of being forced to deny her quirk and the natural hunger that came with it.

by the time she first committed murder, she barely saw her siblings at all. she spent most of her time at home cooped up in her room to hide from her parents and not have to pretend for a little while and at that point she felt like she didn't know her siblings at all. they were better than her, the normal children her parents so desperately wanted. she didn't love them anymore because she didn't know them and that, in some ways, did protect them from the worst of her hunger. she knew not to ask them for their blood, just like she couldn't ask anyone for their blood, but she also didn't want their blood. she didn't love them enough to want their blood and she didn't envy them enough either, because they were still completely subject to the judgement of their parents even if they were deemed acceptable. that could change at any time and himiko knew that full well

[arteriovenous]

❝ no way, it's super cute to worry. cause worrying means you care, right? that's what makes it the cutest! ❞   her movements are quick, delicate and precise as she carefully flicks the knife in her hand so the blunt side of the blade is tucked snugly against her palm and she can safely use the handle to point at the other woman's heart. himiko knows  ( after hearing one too many complaints )  that it can be startling when she moves too quickly with a knife, even when she's surrounded by people who should know she's on their side. she doesn't think she wants to scare nia.   ❝ it's coming from in there, isn't it? that's where all the cutest stuff comes from, like love and blood and stuff! ❞   there's an implicit well duh to her words, as though everything she said was common knowledge that nia really should know already and she's being magnanimous by explaining to begin with, but she's easily distracted by words she wasn't expecting.

himiko's head tips curiously as she considers nia's words, typical wide grin wavering as a silent question blooms in bright gold eyes. it isn't that she doubts the other's quirk  —  far from it, considering how powerful everyone she's met since she joined the league has proven to be, but the pieces aren't settling in comfortably the way she's expecting.   ❝ do you think about that stuff a lot? hurting us? you can't hurt us any worse than we've already been hurt, so don't. we don't want your heart blowing up on us!❞   and then she trails off for a moment, idly chewing on her lip with razor sharp fangs as she mulls over the problem in hope of an obvious answer, before a smaller version of the bright grin from before overtakes her features again.   ❝ how about you don't hurt me on purpose, and i won't hurt you. it can be our little promise. as long as its not on purpose, it won't be so bad! ❞

The younger girl might have been in a jovial spirit, which was something of a relief, yet Nia's nerves were still frazzled from the encounter. She loves a good rush; that spike of adrenaline that makes her feel more awake, but not when it potentially put Toga in the crossfire of her Quirk. Fear was indiscriminate. It pushed people away from her, made them despise her, in some way or another.

"It doesn't... feel very cute to... worry, I think... my heart is... going to burst," she mumbles, her gloved hand resting against her chest. Nia trudges behind, her other hand clutching the lead pipe that hung limply next to her legs. Despite her slowness, she felt lighter than air. The weightlessness of a body on the brink of sleep.

"I'm... sure you can handle it...." Nia agrees, stopping to sling some blood off of her recently used weapon. Her bloodshot eyes fix themselves on her cheshire grin, returning the look with a more subdued smile. "But just... because you can, doesn't mean... that you should have... to bear it. I don't... want to do anything... to hurt you...."

[arteriovenous]

back on my himiko and dabi posting btw himiko absolutely loved dabi enough to be able to make his fire. she did. horikoshi doesn't understand dabi and himiko like i do. the reason she's struggling in that moment was because she having a breakdown and she's never used dabi's quirk before so, with her focus already suffering, she couldn't navigate her way through entirely unfamiliar quirk factors. making doubles as twice felt natural, easy as breathing, because it isn't so different from her own quirk in many ways. its all about shifting. its remaking yourself. she can do that even with her thoughts scattered, but dabi's quirk is wholly alien to her and she's never had his blood. she's never experienced that transformation herself. she's never felt the heat of dabi's flames blooming from her own hands, burning inside her. that's why none of the duplicates she made used their quirks, except for jin or ochako, because she's never had a chance to use them herself despite how desperately she loved them all. it wasn't that she failed to become jin, despite how much she loved him. it's because she needs to transform and feel the quirk herself before she can hope to use it in conjunction with jin's quirk

[arteriovenous]

@skepticxsm said ❛ what are you doing out here by yourself? ❜

it's childish, churlish, but she can't help the petulant pout that pulls at her lips when the quiet she'd been craving so desperately was interrupted. its easier to stay perched where she is, arms wrapped tight around her aching chest as though that brusing force will somehow alleviate the hunger clawing her apart, but the dry vitriol she wishes she could summon takes more energy than she can spare. maybe if she still hated the weirdo she could have managed it, but skeptic hasn't been worth hating for  —  well, himiko can't remember how long now, thoughts disjointed and misaligned as they are. she feels perfectly, completely neutral towards him and that neutrality is the only reason she forces out a listless answer.   ❝ i needed some air. it's, like, super gross in there sometimes. ❞

she doesn't like being lonely, never has, but sometimes being alone isn't so bad. sometimes she needs it, nearly as much as she needs blood.

still, the last thing she wants is this turning into something far more dramatic than it is, so she pushes to her feet with an exaggerated sigh and twirls on one heel to face him.   ❝ you're definitely not my boss, so i wasn't about to ask for permission or something. now, fair's fair! what are you doing out here by yourself, hm? ❞