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I need my girl.

[arge92]

Dogface by Kellie Powell

I don't want to get all Hallmark card on you, but, you are my best friend. We've been through so much together. You know me better than I have ever let anyone know me. You're the first person I've ever met who understands me, who thinks the way I do, who gets me. Am I crazy? Am I wrong? Because... you're important to me.

If you just aren't attracted to me... I could understand that. I know you can't choose who you want, you can't control those feelings. The heart wants what the heart wants. If we could choose... then I could stop wanting you. I know it doesn't work like that. So, if you just don't like me that way... but, you do, don't you? You must. I mean, at least a little? You can't find me too repulsive, you're the one who kissed me... Did I do something wrong? I mean, was I not... good? Was I too easy?

Was I supposed to play hard to get? I don't know how to be coy and play games. No one ever explained the rules to me. All I know how to do is be honest. And you said that was something you loved about me.

Is it... are you ashamed? Is that why you're pretending like it didn't happen? That's it, isn't it. You're ashamed. Right. I mean, who wouldn't be ashamed to be with me? I'm Dogface. You can f#ck Dogface behind closed doors, but you can't introduce her to your friends. You can't bring her home to meet your mom.

You said... you're not ready. Is anyone ever ready for their life to change? How do you expect to learn anything? We'll make all kinds of stupid mistakes and feel like idiots and - welcome to the human condition! Trial and error, it's the only way to learn. No one's ever ready.

You said... you don't want to get serious. But how am I supposed to act casual about something this intense, this rare? You're the first person to see me - how can that not be a big deal? Look at me. How many chances am I going to have in life? I think I could love you. I think you could have loved me.

And if I'm crazy, then I'm crazy. If I'm wrong, then, okay, I'm wrong. But if I'm right, and you're just too chicken sh1t to deal with the possibility of something real and rare and dangerous and life-altering, then... then I'm not even sure I would want to love someone so stupid!

I think I finally understand why they say that you "lose" your virginity. I always thought that was a dumb expression. It makes it sounded like your virginity was this special, sacred thing you were supposed to guard with your life. When to me... the fact that I'd never had sex was like... a flashing neon sign saying, "Ugly loser" hanging over my head. I was trying to "lose" it. Hell, for a couple of years there, I was trying to throw it at anyone who gave me a second look.

But now, I mean... I do feel like I have lost something. Not my purity or innocence or any of that... dogmatic bullshit. I've lost... the walls I built to protect myself from feeling... this. I've lost the ability to distance myself from the rest of the lowly humans... my position of self-deprecating superiority that let me live without hope for all those years...

I lost my isolation. I let you in. And I gave you the power to hurt me.

See, I want to be a cat. Because... most cats are very independent creatures. They can be domesticated, but, for the most part, they don't really act like pets as much as they act like caged predators.

They fend for themselves. And sometimes, sometimes, when they want you to give them a little affection, they crawl into your lap, and they purr, and they let you pet them, and love them. And then, after a little while, they get sick of you, and they scratch you, and they jump up and they run away. Cats are fierce. Cats get what they need from you, and then they just move on.

I'm not a cat. I'm a dog. Dogs are not independent. Dogs love you, pretty much unconditionally. They are so loyal, it defies all logic. Dogs need you, and they let you know that they need you. They need you to love them. They cry when you leave in the morning, and they jump for joy when you come home at night. They always want your attention. They can't get enough of your love.

I don't want to be a dog. But I am. I think I always will be.

[arge92]

[arge92]

Lyrics: speak until the dust settles in the same specific place light refused to go drink it from a cast and iron plate instead of cold milk was offered unripe instead of silence considered craven nothing made it seem hidden where the aging soil was pure pressed against the crease mountains become fragrant at the source how can you stand this exotic angle i read it somewhere that they would lie still i remember how cloth hung flexing with the forest clung half waist and high raised arms kicking at the slightest form i remember my first love i remember my first love unrelied i was called missing teeth out of favour nickel beach it was all gathering by the sundial i woke hard i woke heavy for the half way stop five whole hours in when i woke hard i woke heavy with the live or parts  i remember how cloth hung flexing with the forest clung half waist and high raised arms kicking at the slightest form i remember my first love i remember my first love i remember my first love

[arge92]

I mean, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's funny, she's a big ol' scaredy cat. If you creep up from behind her she'll jump out of her skin. It's pretty amusing. She's honest. She always calls them just like she sees them. You can always count on getting the truth from her even if the truth hurts. She's stubborn. We fight a lot. She can be so frustrating sometimes. But she's a really, really, good friend. I know her to a fault. She believes in me. And I'm a dreamer so it's so good to have somebody like that in my life. If she goes away, I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, she's my best friend, you know? She's more than that. She's everything.

[arge92]

Everything changes eventually. That's just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like suddenly people who you think are always going to be there, they disappear. You know? People die and they move away and they grow up. Everything changes eventually...

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Ben Lovett

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Court dismissed! Bring in the dancing lobsters! 

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How do you know when enough is enough?

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One of the best nights of my life. Ben, Winston, and Marcus noticed me. But not Ted. Well I only really wanted Ben to notice, and he did. (:

Mumford & Sons, Desert Sky Pavilion, Phoenix, Arizona, June 5th, 2013

[arge92]

[arge92]

I went to the desert

Because I wanted to find my pistol

I wanted to see what it would feel like to be invincible

But a man I met said, boy you ain't seen nothing yet

Let me take you for a ride

So I got in his truck and he took me to the mustang range

I paid my forty bucks to the girl at the window pane

Under the cover of darkness and behind my disguise

She said, kid won't you come inside?

She said

Don't you worry I won't tell anybody about it

You can do what you like until the morning light

I can be who you want me to be

Don't you worry ya sweet little head about it

I'll have you in bed, you know you'll have me back

You can have me there, but then you had me at hello

I want you to love me as if you got no principles

I want you to love me as if love is invincible

Under the cover of darkness and behind my disguise

I could tell she could see my eyes

You had me on the kitchen floor, you had me on the bed

You had me by the nick on the rug with the tiger head

You had me fast, you had me slow

You had me on the pillow where you lie at night and dream

You had me dressing up in your Alexander McQueens

You had me till they made me go

You had me at hello

She said

Don't you worry I won't tell anybody about it

You can do what you like until the morning light

I can be who you want me to be

I want you to love me, so don't feel sorry about it

I can hold you tight through the lonely night

I can be who you want me to be

Don't you worry ya sweet little head about it

I'll have you in bed, you know you'll have me back

You can have me then, but then I'll have you back

You can have me there, but then you had me at hello

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[arge92]

The Dead Poets Society

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Where the Wild Things Are

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The Joker