archives-in-my-home - Tumblr blog

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“In this moment, I wish I were a poet. Not to speak beauty. But to speak pain.” ― Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

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sometimes im worried im in a bubble of compassionate people, but then i go outside of tumblr. when i check in on instagram, take a peek onto twitter, reposted tiktoks, fucking splatoon, apparently also roblox. images and videos of people angry and protesting, and people, including children, saying the most they can with what social media outlet they have.

no matter how much they try, media giants and coorperations can't hide what the masses think. i think my college blocked a donation site to palestine, tumblr is keeping related tags off trending, twitter is doing the same, google searches lead to misinformation and news outlets are cherry-picking, lying, or not reporting at all. world leaders vote and give money to end a people.

but even with they're power, they are few. citizens from all over the world are many. everywhere you look online, millions of people won't let you forget, won't let them forget. even if it's not right outside your window.

i just. i love the human spirit, human compassion and love in the face of human evil.

free palestine

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again?

i saw him in my dreams last night. hope washed over my entire existence. there's also joy that comes from seeing a loved one for the first time in what might be months or years, specifically in dreams.

what does feeling hope in this context actually do? i think it simply reminds me that we'll reunite in the next life.

part of him looked wrong.

anyway, i thought about all the places we could go.

even while i was sleeping, i knew it wasn't real. i won't go into further detail, but the premise of why he showed up in the first place is tied to the fact that i was indeed in a dream. our brains create the most fascinating night time stories, don't they?

after i made plans to explore the city that's changed since he's left, i woke myself up. it's not real. but thanks for visiting anyway. you knew i missed you. :)

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this terrified kitty won't let go of the young man who found it under the rubble.

the reporter was wondering if animals associations would care for the animals situation in gaza and the man answers her: "they do not care about us; human beings, you think they care about animals?! they do not care about us. no one does."

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don't loose hope, there is love in life, there is community. people are coming together to protest all over the world, people are finding solidarity with each other even among the horror, people want to help. over the course of hours i saw hundreds come together from all over the world online to buy e-sim cards for the gaza reporters (they've succeeded in getting internet access to key online press reporters and are working to connect more), i've seen stories of people coming together in their grief and joy. despite the darkness there really is love. and i do believe that it is fundamental to the human condition.

Palestinians prepare food for the displaced families in the south of Gaza Strip. 10-28-2023

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also, a friendly reminder, the world we live in now consists of an active genocide.

of warcrimes being posted on twitter by the official account of israeli government.

of people looking at children, women and men being bombed, killed, starved and butchered and saying it is okay because of a single terrorist group, THAT ISRAEL CREATED.

of westerners saying to look away from the slaughter happening in gaza because your mental health is more important than thousands of lives.

of israeli politicians straight up using propaganda from nazi handbooks to dehumanise palestinians, calling them less than human, less than the rest of us, animals.

and what one palestinian man posted on his social media hit me more than anything: “if we actually were animals, people would care.”

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currently reading 🍂

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“I’ll survive this. I’ll live. But there’s a hole in me, never to be filled. Maybe that’s why people die of old age. Maybe we could live forever if we didn’t love so completely. But we do. And by the time old age comes, we’re filled with holes, so many that it’s too hard to breathe. So many that our insides aren’t even ours anymore. We’re just one big empty space, waiting to be filled by the darkness. Waiting to be free.” ― Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

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“You are words," the fireflies said. "Your soul is the poem. The struggle to make mortal words say the infinite unsayable is the struggle that defines sentience.” ― Eden Robinson, Son of a Trickster

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"This could be my last report from Gaza." By Tareq S. Hajjaj. 15 October 2023. Please read this.

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please take everything you read with a grain of salt. misinformation spreads everywhere like wildfire, and i've been having major trouble wading through false journalism to get actual updates on everything. some resources i've compiled for myself and anyone who's interested:

fact sheet: israel and palestine conflict (october 2023)

live updates - intense israeli bombardments strike gaza as the war rages on

live updates - israel plans to step up attacks on the gaza strip

little light, no beds, not enough anesthesia: a view from the 'nightmare' of gaza's hospitals

what international law has to say about the israel-hamas war

a dangerous new phase in the israeli-palestinian conflict - expert commentary by the foreign policy research institute (FPRI)

the global conflict tracker (israeli-palestinian conflict)

the arab-israeli war of 1948

the 1967 arab-israeli war

the 1973 arab-israeli war

dr. ghassan abu sitta is a doctor on-site who's also been reporting about the atrocities transpiring in gaza.

also some palestinian aid orgs to donate to. if you have some money to spare/know anyone who does, please consider donating/spreading the word:

palestine children's relief fund

palestine red crescent society

medical aid for palestine

gaza emergency appeal

donate to arab.org with one click

the middle east children's alliance gaza emergency fund

help UNRWA USA reach their palestinian aid fundraiser goal

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got momentarily anxious about how someone would perceive me for doing something. then i thought "well this is me. so" oh my god she's finally growing up

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“Who my child becomes is not the sum of what happened to him.” ― Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

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Courses I loved so, so much

Some required courses for my english literature major and works we studied:

Basic, second-year course:

Beloved by Toni Morrison, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, and Chinatown Ghosts by Jim Wong-Chu.

Shakespeare:

titus andronicus, twelfth night, henry iv part one, troilus and cressida, cymbeline. my favourites were twelfth night and cymbeline.

Short fiction:

selections from the broadview introduction to literature, 2nd edition, edited by Lisa Chalykoff; Neta Gordon; Paul Lumsden. the selections make up a long list which I'll upload in a diff post.

Canadian literature*:

"Yin Chin," a short story by Lee Maracle.

"The Sea-Serpent," "The Two Sisters," "The Lost Island" by Pauline Johnson.

"The Incident," a chapter from I've Been Meaning to Tell You: A Letter to My Daughter by David Chariandy.

"Writing as a Rupture," a chapter by Joshua Whitehead from the book Refuse: CanLit in Ruins. edited by Julie Rak, Erin Wunker, and Hannah McGregor.

The Black Prairie Archives: An Anthology by Karena Vernon. We read selected chapters.

"Prologue; Contact; A Rude Inscription at The Top of Heaven; Henceforth, Through the Forest; Tender Pathos: A Denser, Blue Vapour; Bigger Than; Every Human Heart is Human." Poems by Liz Howard from Infinite Citizen of the Shaking Tent.

NISHGA by Jordan Abel.

The Subtweet by Vivek Shraya

Son of a Trickster by Eden Robinson.

Canadian literature is bolded to indicate that the list is incomplete. i need to scrounge up other sources from memory.

I apologise if I used the semi-colons or any commas wrong. I copied and pasted Howard's list of poems, which have the semi-colons in that format, straight from my existing source.

Later, I will make a post about articles I've read in these courses that have changed my perspective of literature and of the world.

Thank you for visiting my archives.

This site is dedicated to the people who have helped me.

I can't thank them enough.

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“Great passions grow into monsters in the dark of the mind; but if you share them with loving friends they remain human, they can be endured.” ― Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

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fall/winter 2021

This is when a professor changed my life. We discussed histories of people of colour in Canada.

There was another person who taught the course, and they are part of an important organisation not far from me.

Just by listening to them teach and receiving their feedback on my final project, I feel like I actually created change in the world somehow.

Maybe I didn't at all. I'm literally just another post-secondary student, right?

Yet, those two instructors helped me realise that I can create small ripples of change in my communities.

Every single one of us in the course learned how people of colour in Canada's past have actively resist racism and bigotry, and how we may do the same.

Here are some links to a few things we studied: