apolloscollection - Tumblr blog

[apolloscollection]

C-PTSD

“Complex post traumatic stress disorder (Complex PTSD) is a disorder that may develop following exposure to an event or series of events of an extremely threatening or horrific nature, most commonly prolonged or repetitive events from which escape is difficult or impossible ... All diagnostic requirements for PTSD are met. In addition, Complex PTSD is characterised by severe and persistent

1) problems in affect regulation;

2) beliefs about oneself as diminished, defeated or worthless, accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt or failure related to the traumatic event; and

3) difficulties in sustaining relationships and in feeling close to others.

These symptoms cause significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning.” - ICD-11

If you have complex PTSD, you may be offered therapies used to treat PTSD, such as trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR).” - NHS

According to current theories, in order to develop Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), a child must first develop complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD). Many of the distressing symptoms experienced by those with DID are not outlined in the base criteria for DID, this is because those symptoms (nightmares, flashbacks, alters beliefs and values) are caused by the comorbid c-PTSD, which is why many treating professionals will give a diagnosis of both DID and c-PTSD and not just DID. Therefore, understanding c-PTSD can enhance one's understanding of DID, and how to help yourself/others with the disorder.

When it comes to treatment, seeking out professionals who are trauma informed can be instrumental in ensuring adequate treatment. A professional could refer to your general practitioner (GP), psychologist, psychiatrist, support worker, councillor, dietitian, physio etc. Building up a multifaceted support team can also be of great benefit. However, financial, environmental, familial, geographical barriers as well as racial, gender and disability based biases and discrimination can create an environment where an individual is not able to access the supports that they need and deserve.

C-PTSD is a relatively newer diagnosis, by which it is not yet listed in the DSM-5, however it is in the ICD-11 which is the international standard for diagnostic tools. The prevalence of c-PTSD differs between socioeconomic and geographical groups, with percentages varying drastically from only 2.2% to upwards of 20%. Cultural variation also can affect the symptoms identifiable by treating professionals. Furthermore, it is more common for afab folks to be diagnosed with c-PTSD, likely due to the disproportionate amount of female victims of severe abuse and the tendency for amab folk to suppress mental health symptoms.

Grounding can help aid in the alleviation of symptoms when at home. The following is a list of grounding skills, they are not meant to replace professional help, but instead provide additional assistance. A good therapist will also help you find personalised grounding skills that work for you.

Grounding Skills:

Box Breathing

Placing an icepack on the back of your neck

Picking up and examining items in your environment

Pointing to everything in the space of your favourite colour

Jumping Jacks

Listening to your favourite music and focusing on the lyrics

Memory Games

Counting Fingers

Tapping your collar bones

Smelling something with a nice scent

[apolloscollection]

Alters: Who Am I?

Oftentimes with DID/OSDD, it can be difficult to tell who you are. Our system kind of has a list of questions we go through, and I thought I might post them to see if anyone else finds them useful. I’ve added some too.

Do I have an accent/speak a different language? If so, what kind?

What gender feeling do I have (masculine, feminine, androgynous)?

What pronouns do I use?

What age do I feel like (adult, middle, little)?

Am I an extrovert or introvert?

What main emotion am I feeling or goal do I have?

What music do I like?

What’s my favorite color?

How long/what style of hair do I have in innerworld?

Do I feel shorter, taller, or around the same height as the body?

Do I have any pseudomemories? If so, what are they?

Do I seem more like an ANP or EP?

Do I feel non-human in any way? If so, what do I feel about me is not human (wings, horns, etc.)?

What hand do I write with easier?

Do I need glasses?

Am I having any functioning issues (motor, vocal, etc.)?

[Insert things specific to one or a few alters in your system that others don’t experience or do.]

Please feel free to add on with other questions you might use to help yourself distinguish who you are, as this is not an exhaustive list!

[apolloscollection]

Non-verbal headmates & episodes can be incredibly hard to manage for us. Collectively, our frequent fronters have always been very articulate and vocal, us being quiet is something strange to others. This means masking we tend to be very loud and talking all the time.

But we also have both non-verbal headmates & experience non-verbal episodes due to autism. Part of our DID has always been to blend in, so words becoming impossible makes us incredibly uncomfortable. Its a state of being we are still new to allowing to happen in front of others, and not panicking resulting in rapid switching.

Unmasking is incredibly hard, but we're trying, and part of that is allowing ourselves to exist in non-verbal states without trying to fit it.

[apolloscollection]

fight in the system? call that an alter-cation

[apolloscollection]

There's this.... thing, that our longtime singlet friends do. Where when an alter makes themselves known, they say, "nice to meet you!", as if we have never met before. But we've known each other for so long, you just didn't know that I'm me. And it feels so lonely, like they think they have to rebuild this relationship that we already have established with each other. I'm not a new person, I'm still a part of the person you've known and loved and grew up with, we still have a history together. We know each other.

But with our system friends, especially friends who have known us for so long, it's like, oh! I do know you, and I'm glad to finally know your name! And that's so much better than "nice to meet you". But we don't really know how to articulate those words concisely. So, for each other, we've established that "nice to meet you" isn't about new beginnings and new relationships being made between us, but rather a "nice to get to know you as yourself".

[apolloscollection]

☀️Meet Stan☀️

Hi everyone, I'm Stan, a protector in our system. I'm very much our go-to social games buddy for when we need some comfortable social time. I use he/him pronouns and I'm 20. Maybe 21? Not sure age is a hard concept to nail down.

Right now I'm also the own who edits our funky little private system videos. We found these extremely helpful in communication, and nicked the idea off someone on Tik Tok. Basically, we sit down once a day and record for as long as feels right about who we are, what's going on, how we feel, anything we like. And I'm the one who edits them all together for us to watch later. Its actually really helpful, would recommend.

[apolloscollection]

☀️Meet Rue☀️

It's me, your local Australian system host 👋👋👋. I've not been our host very long, but it's a role I'm very comfortable in. Previously I was a protector, but when Apollo couldn't host anymore I was the natural follow up. I use he/they pronouns, no preference for either you can use one or both, I don't mind. I love dying our hair and getting to self express through fashion, I'm also a huge Minecraft & Stardew Valley nut. I age exactly like the body, so I'm 21.

Internally I'm the older brother of two of our child parts, and the son of Aslan. My Dad is a lion, but myself and my two little sisters are all human, system brains can do remarkable things.

[apolloscollection]

☀️Meet Apollo☀️

Hello everyone, my name is Apollo. I was the system host from birth through to 2021. I really struggled with discovering that I was a part of a system, and as a part of that I both fused with an internal self helper and stepped away from being host to make space for Rue. Now I front sort of frequently again (a few times a week), and do a lot of the information gathering about DID for our system. I still can't manage daily tasks the way a host needs to, which is why I don't use the term "co-host". I use they/them pronouns and consider myself non-binary, grey asexual and aromantic.

I'm an elf, which is a result of fusing with non-human parts during our healing journey. Non-human are a very common occurance in systems for a vast variety of reasons, and I would love to make more informational posts about it.

Some quick fire facts:

- I sign of off with the 🧠 emote

- My birthday is a month before the bodies

- I remember most of the neutral memories from our child and teen years

- I felt a connection to systemhood for longer than we've been diagnosed

- Like the whole system I have tics, but I have a harder time suppressing them

[apolloscollection]

☀️Meet Thomas☀️

Yes, Thomas like the Maze Runner trilogy. I'm a fictive from the first book, and have very vague memories of the events of the book. I split when the system was younger and first read the book, but I went dormant weeks later until earlier this year. Since returning to being an active part I've taken part in a lot of our systems social activities. I use he/him pronouns, I'm 21 like our body, and the emoji I'll use to sign off is 🪨.

I'm happy to talk about what it's like being a fictive, and my experiences with dissociation since that's something I've struggled with a lot since returning to being an active part. I can become extremely depersonalised, and have complete amnesia with all of the trauma holder parts in our system which means I lose a lot of time as they are also very active in our system. I do, however, have decent communication with our host part (Rue) and most of our protectors.

This is not our own art, we got it from a google search.

[apolloscollection]

We find part the most comfortable for this reason, saying "alter" makes us feel like we're an "alternative" to our host which is just all the uncomfortable feelings . But saying we are all parts of this collective feels affirming and true.

- Thomas (fictive)

I’m begging the system community to actually understand what system terms mean before jumping to conclusions.

1. Reffering to an alter as a “part” is not dehumanising or denying an alters full self, it’s like saying someone is “part” of a group or family.

2. Reffering to an alter as “your” alter doesn’t mean that you own that alter, it’s like saying “my sister” or “my friend”.

[apolloscollection]

Thinking a new alter split when really it's just an alter that's been around nearly as long as you that was quiet

[apolloscollection]

Very simple yet helpful chart showing the theory of structural dissociation

-powder

[apolloscollection]

Meet us, the Apollo Collective ☀️

Apollo || 🧠 || they/them || 21 || original host || human

Armi || 🌼 || she/her || 40s || factive || human

Aslan || 🦁 || he/him || Ageless || fictive || lion

Bobby || 🎶 || he/him || 19 || || fictive || human

Chester || 🧨 || it>they || 16-21 || ISH || elf

Cook || 📗 || he/him || 18 || ISH || human

Gale || 🦌|| he/him || 16 || fictive || human

Joel || 🎮 || he/him || 29 || fictive || human

Luce || 🐈‍⬛ || she/her || 25 || ISH || cat

Moxxie || 🪶 || she/her || 20 || trauma holder || human

Nightmare || 😈 || she/they || Ageless || persecutor || demon

Rue || 🍪 || he/they || 21 || host || human

Ryan || 🔥 || he/him || 22 || protector || human

Saphira || 🍇 || they/them || 21 || protector || human

Serenity || 🌷|| she/her || 25 || caretaker || human

Stan || ⚔️ || he/him || 20 || protector || human

Sunny || 🌻 || she/her || Ageless || fictive || soul

Thomas || 🪨 || he/him || 21 || fictive || human

Vixen || 🖤 || she/her || 23 || trauma holder || human

We are a polyfragmented system of over 1,000 parts. Only those above want to be online and share our stories. More detailed introductions will come with time.

- Apollo (old host)

[apolloscollection]

Finally made our way to Tumblr. Been observing system spaces for a time (2016 I see you) but finally comfortable to join in. So I guess this is our first post? Hi! Time to just share our days I guess 🥳

- Rue (host)