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Back Again

Ok so now onto the second part of the story, Lucy, Anna, and Ryan will become big parts of the story. Especially Ryan. 

Ryan and I talked a lot, at first I wouldn’t let him know who I was and once he found out we still didn’t talk in person. Ryan told me about his crushes and how he thought they were really hot and how we just wanted to be with them and that did hurt quite a bit because he knew that I liked him. Ryan isn’t a bad guy at all Ryan is amazing but I think sometimes he can forget that other people have feelings too, which we all do but a lot of the time he would talk about his life and I was so happy for him but just because of the person I am, I didn’t want to tell him about mine just because his was so great and I didn’t want to ruin it you know? I think that’s always been a hard part in my life, I struggle to open up to others yet I know I should because it will help with my emotions. Anyways Ryan and I always talked like 24/7 and Lucy, Anna and I became closer in a way but we also started to get into small petty arguments a lot of the time. Then something weird happened that I’ve never really understood... Ryan had once told me how he had kissed a girl at a New Years party and that now all of new year girls friends where ganging up on him and some of them went to Towns College. One of my friends Lucy, was friends with a girl (Tayla) who knew new years girl, I know confusing right? Lucy and Tayla played netball together and they started talking about new years girl. So Lucy being my friend told me and I said I already knew lol but then that night Ryan told me that some of new year girls friends (like Tayla) had taken photos of him during the day and so I told Ryan about what I had been told and Ryan knew Tayla and hated her. Now I thought that new year girl liked Ryan so I said to Ryan I bet she likes you and then Tayla told me to stop talking to Ryan cause of all the drama I was causing and I was so pissed and so at school I told Anna about it and Lucy started getting real angus and I had no idea why. Anyways that was when my friendship with Lucy started getting rocky. I’m so sorry if none of that made sense... like I said before I’m a shit writer lol. 

So I ended up not really enjoying my time with Lucy and Anna and it didn’t help that they where in my English, Social Studies and Science class just because of drama that had been happening and I thought it was time I should make some new friends or at least newish. So I decided to hang out with Hannah, Tasha and Sammy. Now the silly mistake I made was being friends with Tasha because Tasha was friends with Lucy. For a long time life was pretty good, I was slacking off a bit in class but my social life was great I finally felt like I had settled into a new school but I didn’t know what was to come...

Anyways that’ll be it for today. If none of that made sense please tell me cause I’ll be happy to try and explain!

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The Journey

My names Jess I’m 14 years old and I live in New Zealand. If you have noticed already I’m shit at introductions, writing, and just life in general. On this page I hope to spread positivity and hopefully a bit of laughter. I realise I already sound like a cliché little white girl that has nothing to give to the world, but that my friend is where you’re wrong. I do have a pretty awesome life but a lot of the time, especially of late I’ve just felt a bit down and even though I have really close friends I didn’t think it was right for me to tell them. So I thought, hey let me just tell a bunch of strangers instead hahahah. Before I start talking about my life I thought I should let you know that the names of schools and friends in this blog will all be fake because I’ll be talking about some pretty private stuff and don’t want anyone to find out who the people is for their privacy and mine. I realise I told you my name, how old I am and where I’m from but there are so many people with the same name as me it’s not like anyone will know who I am. Anyways enough about me lets talk more about my life, which means more about me? I guess so...

Ok so to start off the story of my life I thought I should explain the school years and how they work in New Zealand. Last year I was a year 9 which would’ve put me in my last year of middle school in America but in New Zealand it was my first year at a new school. Does that make sense? I hope it does, anyways being at a new school is always interesting and being as lucky as I am none of my friends from the previous school I went to goes to Towns College which is the one I’m at now which means I had to make a whole lot of new friends which like most people I’m sure, I was not looking forward to. 

Pretty early in the year I found some good friends that’ll become pretty big parts of the story of my life. There names are Lucy and Anna, Lucy’s pretty funny she’s sporty and active and is quite popular. Anna is also quite popular and isn’t afraid to share her opinion and although Lucy and Anna are quite different from me it just felt like something clicked and I loved it. I hung out with Lucy and Anna all the time and we came pretty good friends I would tell them everything and I thought they told me everything. Anyways I started to develop a crush on someone and his name is Ryan. I didn’t know who Ryan was at all, like I didn’t even know his name but after some hardcore stalking I knew his name and found his instagram page and his friends instagram pages. Yup I know I’m a physco but we’ve all done it... right?! So I decided for the first time in my life to take a massive risk and I messaged him, I even told him I had a crush on him and that took a lot of courage. 

Ok so now I’ve introduced you to Lucy, Anna and Ryan. Over the next few days I’ll be updating the story of my life I’m sorry if this was hard to understand this is my first time writing about things in my life and it’s hard for me to do because I’m not a very good writer. In the hopes that someone will read this please feel free to give advice on how I can improve my writing skills, ask questions about my story or even ask for advice. A lot of things have happened over the past year and I’ve figured out a few coping strategies so I’m always here. 

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I get jealous over the smallest things why am I like this.

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Here Goes Nothing...

So I’ve decided to start using Tumblr as a way to express my feelings! You know when you feel like shit and you just don’t know why? Yeah well that’s my life at the moment. So I thought why not write about it as a way to try and get rid of the emotions... and so that’s what I’m gonna do.