angryturtledragon

[angryturtledragon]

Watching Jurassic Park and I have Opinions on this place as a zoo. Feeding the predators live prey?? There's other ways to provide enrichment! Also that enclosure is way too small for multiple large animals like that! Electric fences? Ha! Electric fences won't stop a fucking goat! Where's the zoo experts? Who designed these enclosures?? Were all zoos this shitty in the 90s???

[angryturtledragon]

starting a collection #blackmold

[angryturtledragon]

The Head Maid Just Crushed My Legs With A Rock < mnemonic to help you learn the order of some planets.

[angryturtledragon]

news reporting on murders is always like ‘the victim was described by the people who knew them as polite and funny’ like yeah i fucking bet they did what else are they gonna say. breaking news local man stabbed 1000 times to death, grieving friends and family described the deceased to reporters as ‘a bit of a cunt’, ‘mean and bad’ and ‘just generally kind of annoying, you know?’

[angryturtledragon]

"New Yorkers bite more people than sharks annually" is an excellent example of how statistics can be misleading. Like yeah no shit, do you have any idea how rare it is to even encounter a shark in the wild? They're not exactly urban animals. I'm pretty damn sure that if sharks were living in big cities like pigeons, just strolling down the streets looking for food scraps, you'd see a lot more news stories about New Yorkers biting them.

[angryturtledragon]

I asked my boyfriend in Canada once, how he deals with polar bears because I was curious about what to do and he was like, just be calm, let them know you’re there, and give them space and they’ll usually just go away. 

[angryturtledragon]

What the fuck.

[angryturtledragon]

Oh my god my mutual that I have a parasocial relationship with just reblogged my post, the world is good again for a moment

[angryturtledragon]

when tumblr dies i'll live under your bed and you can say out loud what you would post and i will say LIKE or REBLOG it'll be just like we're still here

[angryturtledragon]

[angryturtledragon]

if you dont check your bank account you can pretend nothing is happening

[angryturtledragon]

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls

[angryturtledragon]

my brother is like. Halfway asleep and he was just babbling on about how "it should be calcifer's moving castle. He's the one who does the moving. Put that- pos- put that on your tumblr. Free post right there."

So here's your free post guys. Everybody say thank you kerry

[angryturtledragon]

guys shut the fuck up this is the only thing im gonna talk about for the rest of all time 

(publicly shared video of a sweetheart’s dance from Rodney Stanger on fb)

[angryturtledragon]

Although it was once extinct in the wild the takhi has been successfully reintroduced to its native territory in Central China and Eastern Europe. ©ChornobylWild

[angryturtledragon]

people talk about their writer friends stealing their weird habits or borrowing backstories but what you don't know is that we will steal your house. layout location garden colour scheme décor the whole lot. i have childhood friends with entire abodes immortalised in my stories. i have people i met once who would be able to recognise ancient six-month lease domiciles from a decade and a half ago. i'm in your house i'm in your blueprints and i am taking the lot.

[angryturtledragon]

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude