angry-little-thoughts

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ALT: your dreams being so HD you wake up thinking you might actually be dead.

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(You would think a boss who lost three huge players on her team BEFORE Christmas would learn her lesson and start speaking/treating her employees better instead of borderline harassment. You would think. But alas, she has not.)

ALT: when one of the most pacifisitic person snaps at you for being a cunty cunt, I think it’s time for an attitude adjustment. I mean I’m not going to respond how you want or expect me to respond to your atrocious behavior no matter how you try but I will get you in trouble for sure. Don’t think I’m not petty. I’m Irish, Italian and a Viking. Vendettas, vengeance, and grudges are in my blood. It’s just more proof like a previous employee had but settled for instead of dragging it out more.

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(I have to wear a specific article of clothing to differentiate me from customers when I work. It’s a loud ass color. I hate it. It’s uncomfortable and it makes me look pregnant {which I am not}. ON AVERAGE I get asked if I work here 5 times a day.)

ALT: nah bro. I just wear this motha fucking {#} for no fucking reason. YES I WORK HERE YOU FUCKIN IDIOT. I would never wear this on a regular day out at the store like oh lemme throw it on. Jesus H Christ. Nah. I am not that kinda girl. I don’t match. I don’t get dressed up. I have no problem with the Dames that do cuz that’s their right and if they feel fuckin gorgeous in a dress then lady WEAR THAT DRESS. I ain’t here to play goalie in anyone’s life. I’m here to assist you on yours. But for fucks sake. It’s neon green. I’d never fuckin wear that. Not. Ever. I own 1 red shirt, 1 white and yellow striped shirt, 1 hot pink tank top and everything else is brown navy blue black or white. Das it. I don’t do color. If I do it’s makeup. Because if you wear an LBD you can wear pink god damn eyeshadow like Barbie if I want. So kick rocks. BUT SERIOUSLY. NEON GREEN APRONS YO. Just. Bro. No.

[I lost my shit typing. I hate my job and wasn’t gonna say what I wore because it’s not hard to figure out where I work then and it’s embarrassing because the company is appalling. Today I had 12 people ask if I worked there. And neon green aprons. With a headset and a scanner in my hand.]

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(Life giver the Incubator invited me with her and the the DNA donor to go see hauntedly decorated houses with them. Barely speaks to me, or unless I keep talking and I force the Incubator to speak back.)

ALT: Why do you force me to eat meals with you, or invite me places, or complain when I entertain myself? Or better yet why do you get pissy when I say yes to an invite? Was it just being polite? Should I turn it down every time out of the mutual agreement you don’t want me there and I’d rather be painting and watching comedy instead of being ignored.

I don’t think you realize how degrading being your offspring is. I know you resent me for a lot of things. Most of which I have no control over. Just stop inviting me if you don’t want me to go. I’d rather not be invited at all than be invited and ignored. It’s super awkward being the odd one out at the party.

EDIT: ALT HOT TAKE:: Eh-fucking-xcuse me. Your little shit fit because I didn’t want to get out of the car in 32 degree F after walking around for nine fucking hours while talking to needy mother fuckers YOUR AGE cuz 1. none of y’all could work your electronics without us and B. You want me to be your personal fucking shopper for free. Kick rocks bro. So go ahead and be a catwat {I was so furious trying to explain it to my friend CC that I was trying to call him a cunty twat and it came out catwat}. Just remember y’alls wills say I get to pull the plug.

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(I basically agreed with the Sperm donor. Now he won’t talk to me.)

ALT: ahhhhhahahah. You’re passive aggressive tactic to get me mad didnt work. Ah ahahahahahaha. You are a child for ignoring your own child because she won’t fight with you. God damnit I can’t wait to move away from you.

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(Yeah I’m about to generalize and make some people kinda mad but in my little world of interactions with BMW drivers has NOT gone very well; and I dated one. Technically it was a mini coop but they are owned by BMW... .

Watched this asshole pull up behind me at a red light and screech to a halt he was probably doing 60. Blast his music, flick his cigarette out the window and rev his engine. After it turns green and we take off he speeds around me only to get caught at another red light. When I roll up to him; he’s boppin to his bro music all I can hear is the bass. When we hit the line he took off so fast, he fishtailed 1/4 the way through the intersection through the rest of it. Then coasted into the dealership.)

ALT: BRO. First I go 50 in the 40 cuz it’s fucking 40. There’s no 5’s anymore for me. I round up or I round down depending on cop presence in the area. So it’s not like I wasn’t moving. Ass. Second. If MY dash is rattling and YOU’RE behind me... buddy we got a problem. Also, flickin your bean out the window is super trashy for the environment and as a human. Stop smoking you’re better than that. As for your finding Nemo impression... well, half-assed at best, and you didn’t leave any marks; so I award you 0 points. You don’t deserve that car.

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A customer of mine gave me this and it was the nicest most thoughtful thing I’ve received in a very long time. We were talking about school loans. That’s an ALT for another day. This is a HLT. This lady is beautiful and I hope one day I can give someone down on their luck something that brightens their day. 💜

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(Was watching Nat Geo’s Drain the Oceans. I’m white as fuck, just for reference.)

ALT: isn’t it karmic justice a lot of these ships never made it back to home {whichever shit colonizing empire of choice} port with the stolen goods and riches after a merciless conquest? I’m just sad more didn’t sink. They didn’t deserve to go home and home didn’t deserve the riches.

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(HERE WE GO.)

ALT: THIRD WORLD DOES NOT MEAN A COUNTRY IS DESTITUTE. IT MEANS THAT IT DIDNT ALIGN ITSELF WITH RUSSIA OR THE US AFTER WWII TECHNICALLY SWITZERLAND IS A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY. THIS GOES BACK TO GOOGLING. FUCKING GOOGLE IS FREE I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU FELLOW WHITE (AND YEAH LATELY TRASH HUMANS AS A WHOLE) STATESIANS BEING SO FUCKING IGNORANT THAT YOU DONT KNOW YOUR OWN ASSHOLE FROM YOUR MOUTH SO YOU BETTER WIPE BOTH BECAUSE SHIT JUST POURS OUT FROM BOTH ENDS. HOLY MOTHER FUCKING GOD.

Your stupidity and lack of intelligence as well as your mass ignorance makes me beyond furious. The states are not the greatest country on earth and it never fucking was. The “dream” was propaganda for the GIs that came home from the war. Fucking learn something that isn’t in your history books... oh wait that would actually mean you have to be selfless and do research.

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(When driving, I’ve noticed a lot of different colored head lamps.)

ALT: uh hey I get that y’all like to see but so do the rest of us and blinding us with your sun like lamps is a real buttmunch type of thing to do. Can we all collectively agree on one degree of head lamp and call it a mother fuckin day?

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ALT: it truly bugs me that one is just an aggressive dick and one is passive-aggressive and they get mad at me for getting upset when they act like that. Telling me I always play victim.... well. Let’s see. I got a D on a maths test sophomore year (year two in high school/academy whatever) not even an exam or anything huge. Just a test and when the aggressive one found out {I’m not fucking lying- they even admitted when they were blasted he remembered saying it. But I’m placing bets they won’t admit remembering it if theyre sober} said to me {KEEP IN MIND I HAD JUST TURNED 15 IN AUGUST}

“You’re going to ask ‘do you want fries with that?’ Live in my basement with your two kids from three dads until I die. Fucking study.”

Because that’s what I didn’t do right? The other one... I still can’t shop for clothes. I’m 32. That one started in on me at TEN. But to sit here and accuse me of playing victim is asinine.. I don’t want to “play” anything. If I had my way, I’d go back in time and I would NOT punch Kittenface {my ex-husband} in the balls as he was choking the life out of me. This time around, I’d let him kill me. Because as many suicidal thoughts as I have, I’d never be able to go through with it myself. There is only one person on this space rock I cannot disappoint and that’s my baby brother. I will move the sun for him. But my rant is about the assholes saying I’m a victim. I’ve never wanted to be a victim. I protect my brother. I try to not go to the dr unless I absolutely haaaaaaaaaaaaaave to go. I didn’t even tell anyone my ex was beating the shit out of me until one night he put my head through a wall and his command found out. Long story. Anyways. Like I’m not a snitch. And those two are pretty big influencers in my life and they expect me to be what? Different? You raise me and treat me like the way you were and guess what you get more fucked up kids. The only reason my brother isn’t fucked up is because I MADE DAMN FUCKING SURE he never saw the brutal side. I took the rap for most of the shit, he was the sweetest little boy, and now he’s the sweetest gentleman. I didn’t and don’t want that or him to ever change.

Also I want them to stop giving my shit away without asking. I don’t care it’s going to my brother- rather help him out ya know but respect me and my stuff enough to ASK ME before you fucking offer it.

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ALT: THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON TO BE SO GOD DAMN STUPID IN TODAYS SOCIETY. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH ENCYCLOPEDIAS TO FIND ENTRIES OR READ ENTIRE BOOKS IF YOU DONT WANT TOO.

Google is fucking free. It has entire university libraries. From overseas too. It has vast repitoires of reputable sources you can choose from. At. Your. Fingertips. Fucking GOOGLE.

My entire body is shaking right now from how mother fuckin ignorant some people CHOOSE to be. WHY. WHY. It’s not that god damn hard to google something. .0005 seconds and the fucking results show up. Honestly,compared to ancient people, the Mayans, Incans, Egyptians, Vikings, etc we are fucking morons. There is no excuse. We should be just as smart because we have all the same resources as they do and their blue prints in the form of archeology. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?

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ALT: made this for their anniversary and she hides it behind dead animals in her china cabinet. How come nothing I make her is ever good enough?

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(I like many others, don’t have “insurance” ; what insurance we have is minimal it’s like having collision insurance on a car. Only covered for the other person. Haha. Since mid-April I haven’t been able to supinate or pronate my wrist and anytime anything heavier than my clothes touch it I want to scream. {I have a decently high pain tolerance my parents are/were the suck it up you’re fine parents and I’ve adopted that philosophy towards myself not anyone else just me except for now}. I’ve cried like someone died before cuz it hurt so bad. It wakes me up and keeps me up. It hurts so bad it shoots up my arm and settles into a knot in my shoulder blade.)

ALT: if I cut my own hand off I won’t have this problem anymore. I need to paint. I need to sew. Kurwa. The colder it gets the more it hurts but the heat doesn’t help either. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.

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(Yesterday a coworker called off and kinda fucked me over, and we get along but she’s HIGHLY irritating. Well yesterday when I took the call she sounded sick. And today when she came in I facetiously asked without a tone how she was feeling and she burst into sobbing tears about how her friend died. Immediately I hugged her and apologized {in my head} into the universe for being an ass right, because who the fuck is an ass to someone who lost an important person in their life? My store manager that’s who. She told my coworker to “be nice” today. {normally she’s short with people at the register but that’s because we ALWAYS have a line and these dicks wanna tell you their life story, like nah bro kick rocks we got a line})

ALT: BE NICE?! BE FUCKING NICE?! THATS WHAT YOURE GOING TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHEN THEY REQUEST OFF FOR A FUCKING FUNERAL AND WHY THEY DIDNT COME IN YESTERDAY? YOU FUCKING CUNTWAT YOURE SO LUCKY THERE ARE WITNESSES CUZ ID POP YOU IN THE FACE YOU TWIG ASS BITCH. I’m fucking seeeeeeething right now. The SM is ALWAYS nice to everyone who has someone pass away and she tells this person to BE NICE? Go. Kick. Rocks. I’m legit so beyond angry I clocked out for lunch early and didn’t fuckin tell anyone {ooooh badass alert ... eye roll} just so I could yell at her back when she yells at me for leaving and not saying anything. “Yeah well *****’s friend died and you told her to be nice. I thought it was do whatever the fuck we wanted day.”

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(On my way to work this morning it’s 0546 as I write this and this jerk off was riding my tailgate so close if I’d have stopped he’d for sure have been in my back seat. {side note I don’t want to go in because it looks like someone is in there and there are no cars in the park besides mine...} anyways, I was doing five over the limit. At the light where I went left and that human went straight {there is an ‘S’ curve a half mile from where we were after you head straight, they revved their engine and went circa 15 miles faster even though it was a green light.)

ALT: listen up you twit. I hope you slide off the first curve into the drain ditch. Sorry I DROVE SO CLOSE IN FRONT OF YOU. Leave five minutes earlier you fucking nut gargler. God damnit.

EDIT: there WERE people inside.

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(Brother came over to pick up the engagement ring he had overnighted to the house and ate dinner with our father and myself. We were discussing my moms mom who has severe dementia/Alzheimer’s. Our father stresses he’s put money away in case the two of them have to go into a home. I’m trying to say something and the fucking two of them won’t shut the fuck up long enough for me to say something)

ALT: cool bros. Shut the fuck up. This is why I hate hanging out with you people. This is why I do not and have not hung out with the “fam” since I was forced too on a family vacation.