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angemyrtille · 3 months ago

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How I didn't noticed it had been posted is beyond me, but I already know I will love every second reading it. <3

DIVORCING ORION BLACK | CHAPTER TEN

10 : HOLIDAY

CHPT. SUM. : The winter holidays start with a stiff Yule soiree but you're determined to give the boys a far more memorable holiday than that.

LENGTH : 12k

TAGS : domestic fluff ; holiday/festive vibes ; meeting the potter family ; orion being a stickler for 'traditions' ; Kreacher is part of the family ; holiday surprises for the boys! ; reader is the best mother for sirius and regulus!

← PREV. 9 : REPUTATION

23rd December 1971 | 12 Grimmauld Place

The crackling fire in your home office does little to warm the icy tension filling the space between you and Orion, whose face is a chilling mask of stoic disapproval. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest as he glares at you with a thinly veiled mix of hatred and scepticism before moving his stare to the offending letter you clutch in one hand, the one you intend to send to the Lestranges.

Orion had wondered about your evening activities and wandered into your study late in the evening. At your desk, he found you urgently writing as if you were against a ticking deadline. He could tell that you knew he was in your space but felt it safe to step further in when you didn’t verbally protest his presence. What were you writing and who you were sending so many letters to so late in the evening? As he stepped up to your desk, he glimpsed the familiar names and addresses on the back of the envelopes and gave an approving hum.

“You don’t need to worry about accepting their invitations; I have already sent them letters welcoming their requests for our family’s attendance at Yule celebrations this holiday.” Orion looked on in wonder when you continued writing, steadily piling up the letters in batches for your owl to deliver. His steel-grey eyes narrowed when you silently tied the batch of letters together and magicked the window open for your owl to swiftly deliver its hefty package. With a click of his tongue, a clear expression of distrust from your dismissal, Orion slams his hand on the table to leer at you, “I said there’s no need. Didn’t you hear me?”

“I heard you, Orion.” your unfazed demeanour irks him more than he’d care to admit.

“Then why are you continuing to write?” He looks down to read the contents of the letter you were currently writing to the Lestranges, focusing intently on trying to read your cursive upside down.

‘…sadly we would need to decline your invitation to dinner on the…’

“—WHAT ABSURDITY IS THIS?!” Orion attempts to snag the letter from your grasp but you’re faster and hurry to seal away the letter of rejection in an envelope, swiftly addressing it on the back. He shouts your name, calling for your attention, for an answer, and you silently huff at his volume; he’ll end up disturbing the boys at this rate. With this man-child in the house, how can you possibly anticipate any peace to occur?

Now you are having a stand-off in the middle of your home office, husband and wife scowling at each other with equal distaste, both stubborn about their stance. “This isn’t absurd, Orion! Why would our choice—”

“It’s your selfish choice!”

“Yes, you’re right; it is a selfish choice, but it’s with good intentions! We have a right to reject their invitations in favour of celebrating with our own family.” Orion visibly bristles at your reasoning, like a raptorial cat spotting its prey and immediately preparing to pounce.

“ABSURD AND SELFISH! WHAT REASON DO WE HAVE TO REJECT THEIR INVITATIONS?!”

The parchment feels heavy in your hands, carrying the weight of your defiance, but you stand strong by it. “…Orion,” you begin after taking a slow breath, voice steady but pleading — you need to be the calm one or else this argument will spiral dangerously. And you don’t want either of the boys to hear upstairs; evenings like this should be spent winding down for bed. “I want this Yule to be just us. No dinners, no soirees, no endless gatherings. Just our family. For the boys.” Orion doesn’t show any sign of understanding, but you press forward. You find that every interaction has become a latent test, putting your husband on trial to assess his fitfulness as a father. However, every exchange has been marked by increasingly lamentable results, such that you feel stupid for believing he may have some redeeming qualities as a father. “Regulus will be leaving to attend Hogwarts next year, and then it’ll just be… us. Let us have this one Yule to focus on each other and be together as a family, please. It’s a precious time we must commemorate appropriately.”

Orion’s jaw tightens, his dark eyes narrowing. “It is our duty to maintain appearances. We cannot simply abandon tradition because you’ve decided to indulge in some sentimental whim!”

Your temper isn’t usually quick to rise, but you feel it spike exponentially within you from his bitter words. This was worth taking offence over. How dare he demean the precious time you intend to spend with your loved ones — namely only Sirius and Regulus. He has no pride as a father or a husband. With another slow breath, you try to tame your racing heart.

“The only tradition we must abide by is attendance at the Yule soiree with the slew of other wizarding families,” you counter, your voice rising slightly despite your attempt to hold down your tongue. “Every other dinner, every other event—they’re not necessities, Orion. They’re only frivolous distractions. And I won’t have my boys grow up thinking that their worth is measured by how many pureblood gatherings they attend.”

“Sirius is already a poor example of an heir. The first in centuries to be sorted into Gryffindor—”

“Orion, please!”

“—he must spend time with the right sort!”

“He is with the right sort! He has friends who care about him in Gryffindor.”

“That’s not worth anything!”

“Oh! Get over yourself, Orion!” your voice gets louder and louder, swept up by the intense emotions making the air in the room vibrate tensely. “Those dinners and gatherings aren’t a necessity! Sirius will grow up to be a fine man without them! Trust in yourself as his father!” you try to play with his compassion as a parent but it’s no use.

“It is a necessity because I say it is!” Orion snaps, his voice booming through the room. “No further arguments, wife. This is final.”

You bristle at his curt command, your temper flaring once more, mirroring Orion’s climbing wrath. “That’s not how the world works, Orion. How childish! The boys and I will be spending Yule together. If you’re so desperate to attend every last gathering, you may do so by your lonesome!” You step to the open window and call for another owl to take and deliver the Lestrange’s letter.

Orion’s face darkens, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. He doesn’t dare lash out as he can sense that his magic is already making the walls and furniture shake around the room — he also gathers that you would have added to the telekinetic quaking as well. This house was a precious property, a standing legacy of their ancient and most noble house. No argument was worth its potential collapse. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I am not the ridiculous one!” You shoot back, your voice as sharp and piercing as your eyes. Once again, Orion cannot recognise you, the occurrence of which has been more often as of recently that he’s lost count long before. Where had his wife disappeared to? This wasn’t the woman he married… “It is you who is being ridiculous! Why can’t you see that this is important? For them, for us as a family?”

Orion takes a step closer, his expression softening slightly but not from concern. Looking into his eyes, you see the judgement and suspicion and desperately move to bite down your tongue. The Black family patriarch’s tone is firm, strong and demanding. “Why have you changed so drastically, wife? This is unlike you…” Never had the two of you been so disparate in mind and intentions, it was unusual to have such a quarrel; usually, Orion can trust in his wife and lady to manage the house elf and their sons while he focuses on their reputation and his job. However, now, it was difficult to trust you with managing anything in the Black family home without his supervision; your ambitions have changed far too drastically, and even the house elf has changed— the filthy thing. There wasn’t a clear answer to this dilemma either, not one that he could attempt to foresee and the mental instability that thought brings was beyond frustrating.

You swallow hard and carefully consider the weight of his words pressing down on your chest. It was suffocating being put on the spot like this; your mind is racing, but you’re desperate not to appear flustered beyond convention. “…I simply want to be a good mother to my children, both of which will soon leave the nest together. I want to treasure as much of the little time we have left with each other.” your confession comes out quietly, your voice trembling with sincere emotions from the thought. As much as you wanted to be a mother in your past life, experiences like this are ineluctable to all parents; you just didn’t believe it could affect you to such a profound degree. You suppose it’s one of those things in life that you can’t expect to be familiar with until you’ve undergone it firsthand.

“You are a good mother,” Orion replies, his tone almost dismissive as if the matter can be settled with his singular comment of reassurance.

The words sting more than you care to admit, however. You know what his perception is of how a home should be run, and you know of his closed perspective on what it means to be a ‘good mother’—obedient, dutiful, upholding the family name at all costs, even if it’s at the detriment of a long-term relationship with your children. The kind of mother who raises sons to be carbon copies of their father, even if that father has more shameful qualities than good. But that is not the kind of mother you want to be, not for your darling boys, not ever. Overcoming that sadness and the thoughts of what Sirius and Regulus had to endure before you took over Walburga, you quickly fill up with rage and disgust. It’s repulsive how misinformed and disparaging his views are towards parenting —he should be ashamed of himself.

“I have not been a good mother,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. This might be a good time to provide a fair reason to explain the sudden and drastic changes in your behaviour and views. Orion will have no choice but to accept something so profoundly simple that it becomes a hard pill to swallow. “And I can admit that. But I’m doing my best to change, for my boys. Please, Orion. I know you can be a good father to the children too. It’s what they deserve.”

Orion lets out a humourless and brief laugh — a mockery of your new ideations. His anger flares once again, his patience worn thin after you’ve blatantly offended his attitude and parenting. “No. What they deserve is a strict education and upbringing. It’s all done to honour our family’s name. We are the most ancient and noble house, house Black! Where is your pride?” he leers down at you, unconvinced and judgemental.

“Where is your shame?” you counter far too quickly to stop yourself.

“…you will have to go alone with them, then,” he says coldly, turning away from you. “I will uphold our name without your sorry, audacious existence to humiliate me.”

Your spine straightens as your resolve hardens; you don’t care much for his offending words rather, you are relieved. At least he didn’t demand the boys accompany him anyway, instead of you. “Fine then,” you say firmly, clearly unaffected by his words, which makes him want to lash out in anger once again. However, you were already turning on your heel and striding out of the room before he could attempt another heated exchange, your sharp footfalls echoing against the floor. As you reach the hallway, closing the door behind you, you pause and glance up at the bannister above, managing to catch two blurred figures ducking out of sight.

“Come out, you two,” you call softly, not wanting to appear confrontational or irate and smile to help colour your words warmly. “I know you’ve been listening.”

After a moment of silence, there’s a shuffling of feet as Sirius and Regulus slowly come into view, peering down at you from their perch in the upper hallway. They share the same sheepish expression. You sigh and move to meet them upstairs, gesturing that they go ahead of you, “Into Sirius’ room, we need to talk.”

The boys follow your words obediently, their heads bowed as they hurry through the door with Sirius’ name hanging at the front. Once inside your eldest’s room, you close the door gently and turn to face them where they’ve settled atop Sirius’ bed. They can see the frustration and fatigue on your face and they wonder if it would have been better if they didn’t know the reason behind it. Nevertheless, they come to one conclusion and it's that they don’t like seeing you in such a state. Their kind, gentle and loving mother doesn’t deserve to be distressed — and it makes them feel all the more guilty when they realise that you were having to deal with them as soon as you finished arguing exhaustively with their father. They wouldn’t blame you if you, instead, had ignored them altogether in favour of resolving your frustrations. Nevertheless, it meant the world to them that they were such a high priority for you that you didn’t give it a second thought before joining them upstairs to talk.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that, boys,” your voice is filled with regret, an achy feeling that they mirror in their own silvery-grey eyes. “It’s not a good example to set, arguing like that with your father. I’m sorry.” The two share a somewhat astonished look — they fully believed you would reprimand them after being caught listening to your quarrel. “Eavesdropping is not proper behaviour, either.” There it is…

“Sorry mother…” They guiltily apologise in unison, looking down from the shame weighing down their stomachs as you slowly approach.

“It’s alright, just don’t do it again, okay?” you raise both your pinkies so that they can seal the promise by curling their pinkies around yours — you were so happy to have shared this little ‘muggle’ tradition with them; it was a good enforcer of good manners and promises. Satisfied with the pledge, you take a seat at the foot of Sirius’ bed, your legs hanging off the edge as you partially turn towards them.

Regulus looks up at you, his wide grey eyes filled with concern. He remembers hearing the way you reasoned with his father on why you were rejecting invitations and it left him holding onto a peculiar mixture of guilt and joy that you were willing to turn away other families just to have a memorable Yule holiday with him and Sirius before they leave for Hogwarts together.

“But there’s no need to be sorry, Mother… it’s not your fault.”

Sirius, the bolder one of the two and acting on the emotions he felt safe enough to express, crosses his arms and scowls. His opinion of the situation has been made up already. “Yeah, Dad’s being an idiot.”

You raise a questioning brow but can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips — you didn’t know your son could look so cute being a grump. But, you attest that to his bias on taking your side over his father’s, loyally and stubbornly taking your side on things definitively. “Your father is not an idiot, Sirius,” you reach out to gently pet down his curls, slightly pushing the stray strands away from his forehead. Almost instantly, Sirius uncrosses his arms and leans into your touch, his grumpy expression melting away, “Orion is just… a stubborn old fool.” The last part slips out in a whisper, and Sirius and Regulus exchange a glance before breaking into quiet snickers. Clearly, they agree with your sentiment, but you have to hold yourself back from joining their giggling.

“You don’t need to defend him, Mother,” Sirius says, his voice tinged with frustration as he and Regulus shuffle closer to you. “Men are fockin’ pricks!”

Your eyes widen in shock. “Sirius! Where did you hear such language?”

Your eldest has the decency to look sheepish but doesn’t back down and answers honestly. “From some Muggle-borns at school,” his chin jutting out defiantly, and your eyes frantically move between him and Regulus over and over. You don’t like the intrigued expression on your youngest’s face, your concern for his language development growing with the blatant curiosity and fascination in his appearance.

Just as you see the familiar question of: ‘What does it mean?’ appear clearly on your sweet youngest’s face, you hurry to denounce Sirius’ speech, “Don’t repeat what Sirius just said Regulus.”

“I’m sorry, Mother, I won’t,” while Regulus apologetically looks up at you, Sirius looks at his brother with a sneaky smile tugging at the corners of his lips. And it was at that moment that you knew Sirius couldn’t be stopped from explaining the curses to his little brother. With a sigh, you shake your head, already accepting Sirius’ silent plans to go against your distaste for the swears. The least you could do is set a boundary so they know not to speak like that around you — you trust that they would use the words sparingly.

“I don’t want that kind of language in this house. Please refrain from making such exclamations again. And no more eavesdropping, either. It’s bad manners.” The boys nod, their expressions downcast and apologetic, but they instantly light up when you lean down to kiss their foreheads, a reminder that you still love them despite their mistakes. You no longer have to word the sentiment but can’t help refraining from speaking through your actions. They needed the reassurance, though, and they appreciated your proactive, loving gestures. “I want you to grow up to be gentlemen… unlike your father.” The last part is whispered once again, but Sirius and Regulus hear it anyway, and, again, exchange another round of stifled snickers.

Sirius leans forward, his curiosity getting the better of him. “What were you and Father arguing about, Mother? And why are we all in my room?” He and Regulus managed to hear bits and pieces above their racing heartbeat drumming against their ears, but he needs you to confirm things. He didn't want to get his hopes up on the aspect of no longer attending those stiff and boring Yule dinners with other prestigious families. He didn’t want to get his hopes up on finally being able to celebrate the holiday the same way his friends had fondly and excitedly described.

With a fond smile, you brush a hand through Sirius's hair before doing the same to Regulus. There’s a warm affection in your eyes that’s hypnotising and makes them lean in to hear you even closer as you straighten your back from where you’re seated at the edge of the bed. “You two need to pack some luggage, enough for a week or so away.” there’s a lightness and purpose in your tone, a premature excitement.

Sirius deflates, his shoulders sagging as his face falls into an adorable pout. “But I just finished unpacking…”

You can’t help but giggle at his dramatics, adoring the sight of Regulus reaching over to pat his brother on the back comfortingly. “But you’ll want to pack for where I’m taking you two,” your eyes twinkle with mischief. “We’re leaving right from the Yule soiree tomorrow.”

That gets their attention immediately. Both boys perk up with interest and elation swimming in their wide eyes. “Where are we going?” Regulus asks, his voice filled with wonder. Both boys were standing on Sirius’ bed now and you can easily predict that they would soon be jumping about if you revealed anything more.

“You’ll find out tomorrow~” you sing playfully, standing from the bed to move to the door as you have to pack your own luggage. With half-hearted whines of protest, the brothers clamber off the bed and rush to your side, clinging to the long skirt of your dress in an attempt to pull more hints from you. “We’ll be getting there via the Floo Network, so I’ll keep your shrunken luggage with me at the soiree tomorrow. Your father won’t be joining us, I’m afraid, so make sure to say your goodbyes before we leave in the afternoon.” You wave your wand, summoning two identical lists that float gently into their hands. “Here’s a list of everything you’ll need to bring.”

“Okay, Mother,” they chorus, their voices filled with anticipation.

As a farewell, you lean down to kiss their temples, your heart swelling with love for them and their adorable antics. You’ve been blessed with the sweetest boys on earth! “Good. Have fun packing, you two.” As you leave the room, Sirius and Regulus’ vocalised animation for what’s ahead fades into the background. You hear that they’ve decided to help each other pack, starting with Sirius’ things — they believe that they might be able to piece together what you have planned for them through the list, which makes you giggle. Would they be able to deduce such a thing? This was a big surprise, after all.

A spark of hope lights up within your chest, warming you up from the inside out. This Yule will be different, you’ll make sure of it. It’ll be different for them, for you, for all of you. There isn’t a trace of guilt or regret in your veins as you go through the list of events you have planned. You will create and share precious memories together — this will be a holiday to remember!

24th December, 1971 | Yule Soiree, VIP Room

The soiree is a glittering affair, an event dripping with such opulence that the induced propriety was suffocating, even to those accustomed to the affluence, but they did not show it. Crystal chandeliers hung like frozen waterfalls, suspended in the air high above, alight with enchanted candles that never shortened, shining brighter than the muggle sort and emitting enthralling prisms of light. Expensive perfumes smothered the air in their thickness and polite conversation weaved through the palpable tension between some families. For the room to be considered the dignitary sort, set aside for the Sacred Twenty-Eight families, it wasn’t very remarkable aside from its adornment, credited to those in the staff who helped decorate. There was a designated area for quiet murmurings and another area for sharp laughter and even sharper smiles accompanying frivolous chatter.

You manage to navigate the room with practised ease, your posture regal and expression composed, but your heart aches for a simpler affair, one filled with warmth — if not for you, then for your boys. Pity throbbed within the depths of your chest as you looked upon their grim features, they didn’t look like your sons; your boys were spritely and smiling, carefree and talkative but these two were not like that at all. Rather, they were stiff, their small shoulders straight with tension and their lips sealed shut, offering tight-lipped smiles to those who greeted you before eventually greeting them. Earlier on, you had asked Alphard if he would be attending the soiree too but was downhearted to find that he had some last-minute business at the office to deal with and that he wouldn’t be able to make it. The original Walburga grumbled in your head over her younger brother’s undistinguished behaviour, wanting to reprimand him for his lack of commitment to tradition but you quickly stamp out her unreasonable complaints by harassing her right back and threatening to whisk Sirius and Regulus away prematurely. That shut her right up.

From a distance, you spot three sisters comfortably chatting near the grand fireplace, their heads bent together to hear one another clearly amongst the chatter muffling the air. All three share the same black locks and pale complexion but adorn different demeanours and manner of dress for the holidays. “Are those your cousins, dears?” you ask in a whisper, leaning down slightly so you can be better heard by both children.

“Yep,” Sirius confirms as Regulus nods from beside him.

“Alright.” you take a moment to ponder on what to do next, “Do you both mind if I take a moment to speak with them? I’ll try to be quick,” the brothers share a brief look before nodding in unison. “Thank you, my loves. Try to occupy yourselves in the meantime okay?” As you approach the three sisters, Sirius and Regulus make their way to the food and beverages, not wanting to stand by their father even in your absence.

Once you’re close enough, the girls spot you in their periphery and turn as a group to greet you appropriately. Their expressions were a mix of curiosity and wariness as they wondered what the matriarch of House Black would want with them and without the patriarch beside her. It was odd to see you and Orion separately and even more odd was to see you without Sirius and Regulus at your sides; it was a known fact that you, as the matriarch kept an invisible leash on all three, maintaining the puppeteer of all behind the scenes.

“Lady Black, good afternoon.” A sister greets you, her black hair fashioned into tight curls as her eyes hold a depth to them like that of a black hole. She is slightly taller than the other two and stands in the centre, subconsciously marking her as the eldest. You hazard a guess that this was Bellatrix, “You look different today,”

With a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes, you reply, catching all three off guard as you’re not usually the type to smile. “As do you, Bellatrix… ” She doesn’t protest, so your deduction to her identity was correct. All of you have grown so much since I last saw you properly. You’re all so lovely for the Yule soiree today.”

Andromeda’s eyes soften while Narcissa remains impassive though you can see a flicker of some emotion in her eyes. Was she secretly flattered by your compliment? Bellatrix, however, narrows her eyes in scrutiny and confusion all at once. “Rumours say you’ve been acting strangely.” She leaves the air open for you to either confirm or deny her claim. The three had been able to see the affectionate way you acted towards Sirius and Regulus in the time you stepped into the celebration together, and it’s clear that they aren’t the only ones shocked by your drastic change in behaviour.

“Is that so bad?” you watch carefully and patiently as Bellatrix mulls over your comment for a while. No one has outright dubbed your mannerisms unsuitable, and as the matriarch of the noble and most ancient house of Black, surely you have every right to act the way you deem most appropriate. Bellatrix can’t fault you for that so she concedes, she admires you, after all, so if you are acting this way, it’s for good reason.

“I suppose not…” your smile finally reaches your eyes and the three sisters welcome your stunning visage. Rumours from your drop-off and eventual collection of Sirius at King’s Cross station have made its rounds and many praised your radiant smile. Now, not only are you the prestigious lady matriarch of House Black but you’re one who radiates beauty with a simple smile. They secretly consider themselves lucky to have experienced your beauty in person, they truly didn’t know what to believe, at first with the rumours, but they quite like them thus far.

Now that Bellatrix’s suspicions have been dealt with, you focus instead on the warmth you want to convey. Something you had intended to commit from your detrimental notations for future events. “If any of you ever need anything—anything at all—I’ll be there for you. Within reason, of course. All you have to do is ask or send a letter. We’re family, after all.” The three sisters’ eyes widen in unison, even demure and poised Narcissa. Andromneda’s breath hitches and there’s a wildness that swamps her eyes momentarily.

“…Even for arranged marriages?…” Andromeda, the one who looks the most similar to Bellatrix comments, her dark curls are looser and her eyes are shaped less fiercely. With a snarl, Bellatrix nudges her twin sharply with an elbow whilst Narcissa gives an almost saddened look.

“Andy!” Bellatrix hisses in a warning tone.

You freeze up, trying to comprehend her words as quickly as you can — if you pause for longer than normal, they’ll only grow suspicious of you; you should already know their world after all so nothing should surprise you to this extent. After a moment, your heart sinks in realisation and a sad softness floods your gaze.

“Your marriage is already arranged?” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Bellatrix straightens and lifts her chin, stepping forward to partially shield her sisters. “Yes. And so is mine. I am set to marry Rodolphus Lestrange after I graduate. Andromeda will follow soon after, as she’s the younger twin. I will have an Autumn wedding and she will have a Spring wedding.” Bellatrix turns to smirk at Andromeda, though you don’t think it’s out of malice; her words didn’t ring maliciously to you, only factually as if she’s already accepted her and her sister’s fate. Andromeda turns her gaze to the floor and hugs herself for comfort whilst Narcissa steps closer, wanting to offer comfort in her own way.

“Do you want to marry Rodolphus, Bella?” you ask gently. Bellatrix blinks, her eyes wide with confusion as she’s momentarily thrown by the use of her nickname — only her sisters call her intimately yet you say it so naturally. Did you mean to call her by such an affectionate nickname or was it just a slip of the tongue?

“It’s what’s expected of me,” she says in a dismissive tone, finally overcoming her slight surprise. “It’s our duty to carry on the purity of our blood.”

You accept the eldest sister’s answer with a slow nod before turning to the middle sister. “And you, Andy?” the child is just as shocked by your use of her nickname but, with some hesitation, eventually looks up at your soft and welcoming gaze. “Do you know who you’ll be marrying? Do you want to marry him?”

Andromeda shakes her head with a troubled expression. Even before this, it was clear from her body language alone that she was unwilling to accept her circumstances. “No…”

Bellatrix huffs at her sister’s side and pins her with a sharp glare before hissing out. “That’s because you’re being too picky, Andy. Do you know how upset Mother and Father are getting with you?”

“I know…” Andromeda sighs but doesn’t look as guilty as she should, in Bellatrix’s opinion, making her huff once more while Narcissa moves to stand between them as a silent mediator. “Mother and Father have been… difficult to talk to about these matters. One of the suitors they had picked out for me was over ten years my senior.” You suppress a shudder as your stomach churns at the dreadful thought. How could a parent submit their young daughter to such a fate?

“…My offer stands,” leaning forward, you meet each of their eyes individually, emphasising your words. And, although your voice is stern, your gaze is warm and comforting, and you hope they can see the sincerity in it. “If you need anything, I’ll be there to help you as best as I can. All you need to do is ask.” The three sisters nod in unison but Andromeda’s eyes linger on you, unable to let go of the implication in your words. For once, she feels hopeful as she remembers her beloved Ted. You can see the wheels turning in her mind, and you wonder if she’s thinking of someone in particular — you have to hold back a smile when you realise she’s probably thinking of Edward Tonks.

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

The VIP room feels much colder now, and the air weighs heavily with unspoken words over your unusual behaviour. There have also been hushed whispers floating about—whispers of the Dark Lord and alliances forming in the shadows over the misinformed need to rebel against the acceptance of muggle witches and wizards entering their secret society of magic—making your stomach churn. The divide between the blood purists and the rest of the wizarding world was growing and growing; it had grown so much that it was palpable even in what was supposed to be a festive gathering. But you do your best to ignore the whispers and the stone of dread in your stomach, instead choosing to focus on finding Sirius and Regulus again. Glancing around, you spot them near the edge of the room leaning into each other. It appears as though they were looking for someone too, their expressions a mix of frustration and worry. You gather that they are looking for you and quickly make your way over to them, where you have the pleasure of seeing their adorable reactions as soon as they spot you in the crowd, your heart softening at the sight of your boys’ adorable faces brightening at your appearance.

“Mother, there you are,” Sirius steps up to greet you once you're close enough, Regulus following closely at his side so that they can embrace you for a brief moment.

“I’m happy to see you boys again, did I take too long?” Regulus shakes his head and presses his face into the folds of your long, emerald green dress. His actions make your brows furrow with concern and you meet Sirius’ gaze questioningly but your eldest seems to have the same downhearted expression on his face too. “What’s the matter, my loves?”

“We’ve been looking for Uncle Alphard,” Sirius runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, his eyes darting about the room as he tries to find his favourite uncle once more, “We didn’t want to miss him because you said we’d be going away soon. But we can’t find him anywhere.”

With a sigh, your expression softens with understanding, and your hand comes up to comfortingly pet Regulus’ hair, his face still buried in your skirt. He had been so excited to see the reunion between his uncle and Sirius; he desperately wanted his brother to know that there were more people, other than him and their mother, supporting him despite his sorting into Gryffindor. “I’m afraid your uncle had to work late at the office. He sends his apologies.” That doesn’t seem to help ease the boys’ sadness, so you allow them a slight peek into their holiday surprise, “He promises that he’ll see you both soon, though.”

“But— didn’t he say he’d be here?…” Regulus pouts up at you, finally lifting his face off of your skirt.

“I know, darling,” you place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “But duty calls, even during the holidays. Now, how about we leave this dreary room and head downstairs? The music is livelier, and the atmosphere is much warmer.”

Sirius perked up at the suggestion, his grin returning as he nudged Regulus beside him encouragingly. “Finally, something fun. Come on, Reggie, let’s go.” the two walked ahead of you, though it was clear that Sirius wanted to run and pull Regulus along behind him, his nerves very obviously vibrating with excitement —you were glad for his restraint, however, and smiled in adoration at the brothers’ very sweet, very ordinary appearance from behind.

The grand staircase led you down to the lower floor that buzzed with life. Laughter, chatter, and the festive tunes of a wizarding band filled the air, colouring the expansive room with much brighter colours than that of the upper floor you were earlier confined to. Wizarding families of different backgrounds mingled impartially and freely, their joys, infectious, and their movements, unburdened by the weight of blood purity or social standing. The live band at one end of the ballroom plays a lively tune whilst couples dance with abandon at the centre, people were free to join in or step out of the dance whenever they wanted. It was a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the VIP room above, where the so-called elite sat in rigid clusters, their conversations hushed and their expressions guarded — this was what a true Yule celebration should feel like. Even with Walburga shouting like a possessed banshee in the back of your head, you have no regrets and plan on whiffing the smelling salts in your pocket as soon as possible. You weren’t about to faint on your boys and bring any amount of distress onto them so you’ve come prepared.

The energy of the lower floor greeted the three of you like a warm embrace as you stepped down the final few steps. From your elevated perch on the steps moments ago, Sirius had quickly spotted a familiar figure across the room: another boy who was similar to him in age, sporting messy black hair, round glasses and an infectious, unmistakable grin.

“James!” Sirius calls with an enthusiastic wave. He calls his friend’s name several times before his voice manages to carry over the crowds and the music, prompting the messy-haired lad to finally turn and meet his close friend’s eyes, “Over here!”

As soon as James saw Sirius across the hall, his face lit up with a charming grin. He lifts a hand to wave your small family over to where he proudly stands with his parents. Sirius didn’t hesitate to push ahead as shy Regulus clutched onto your hand, staying back with you, despite meeting James briefly at King’s Cross, it appears as though he can’t quite get over his shyness yet. As Sirius neared the Potters, your heart warmed and raced; Fleamont and Euphemia were the perfect picture of benevolence, adding to their grace as they smiled, sincerely welcoming Sirius in return.

“Sirius, I didn’t know you were here!” James exclaimed, clapping his friend on the back once he was close enough. Sirius grinned widely in return and squeezed James with equal affection around the shoulders, “Mum, Dad, this is Sirius, my friend from Hogwarts. I’ve told you about him!”

Fleamont extended a hand to shake as his eyes twinkled under the chandeliers. “Pleasure to meet you, son. Fleamont, or Monty, whichever you prefer.”

Sirius shook his hand with a look of mischief in his eyes. “Nice to meet you, Monty, my man!” Your son’s cheekiness couldn’t be ignored, and Fleamont threw his head back with a laugh, welcoming him as James’ friend with open arms.

Equally charmed, Euphemia stepped forward to give her greeting with a radiant smile. “I’m Euphemia, but you can call me Mia. Our Jamie has told us so much about you; it’s good to finally put a name to the face.” Rather than a handshake like her husband, she crouches down and pulls Sirius into a brief but warm hug. You can see the brief surprise and delight on Sirius’ face before he melts into her embrace with a warm grin. Sirius likens the feeling to the same one he feels whenever you hug him affectionately—of course, his mother’s hugs will forever be the best but he happily accepts the small comfort he finds in James’ mother too.

“So, how are your holidays so far?” James asked, his enthusiasm undimmed.

“Great!” Sirius replied with a similar enthusiasm, the image in his head only consisting of you and Regulus “Mother and Reg are here with me. Father’s up in the VIP room with the snobs.”

“Your mother, you say?” Euphemia’s eyes widened in surprise, and she exchanged a glance with her husband. Both turn just in time to see you approach them with Regulus at your side, their surprise still evident on their faces. You could see the wheels turning in their minds—the woman before them was not the cold, distant matriarch they had imagined. This can only mean that they didn’t hallucinate your friendly figure when they had gone to pick up James at Kings Cross Station.

“Yeah! I’ll introduce you.” Sirius’ chest puffs out slightly as he gestures to you first, then Regulus, “Everyone, meet my mother and my little brother, Regulus.”

“Hello,” Regulus reaches out to shake the Potter couple’s hands before waving at James, who brings him into a friendly, one-armed hug over the shoulder. Sirius snickers beside them for a moment and quickly joins in the hug too, he loves seeing his brother get along with his close friend; he can only imagine how well Regulus would get along with Remus or Peter!

With a warm smile, you extend a hand in greeting. “Good afternoon. A pleasure to meet you both,” you shake Fleamont’s hand first before shaking Euphemia’s. You then turn to James, your smile ever soft and kind. “And it’s so good to see you again, James.”

James grinned. “You too, my lady.” he bows at the waist as you giggle and Sirius rolls his eyes, tempted to smack his friend over the head, “It’s good to see you in something other than black.”

“James!” Euphemia scolds with a wave of her finger.

Rather than the scowl of offence they were expecting you to wear, however, you laugh lightly and briefly play with the skirt of your dress. “Why, thank you. I suppose you could say the holiday season has gotten to me.”

Euphemia stares in shock at you, so surprised by your change in demeanour that she couldn’t hold her tongue and agrees, “Indeed…” Embarrassed, Euphemia covers her mouth as Fleamont laughs heartily, pulling his wife close by her waist — a small gesture of comfort.

“There’s a special type of magic that goes around for the holidays,” The Potter patriarch says with a warm, understanding voice.

Your small group falls into easy conversation after the tension was thoroughly melted away by introductions. There’s talk of the boys’ achievements at school, Regulus’ eagerness to join his older brother in the next academic year, the struggles of parenting such rambunctious youths followed by whining protests, and many more. Eventually, James drags your boys off to the food tables, promising them the best mini treacle tarts they’d ever tasted, and he should know, as a primary lover of the sweet treat. Regulus hesitated at first, glancing back at you for reassurance and relaxed when you gave him a small nod.

“Bring me back something tasty, darling,” you politely ask with an encouraging smile.

“Something salty or something sweet, Mother?” his voice is soft and dripping with consideration, ever the attentive type.

“Hmm… why don’t you pick?” Regulus nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips before dashing off to catch up with his brother and James. With the boys gone, you turned to the Potter couple with a question on your tongue. “Fleamont, Euphemia—”

“—Monty is fine,” Fleamont interrupted kindly.

“And just Mia is perfect for me too,” Euphemia added kindly. They were now able to tell for themselves that you weren’t the type of person they originally thought you were and it was a comfort; they found that any friend of their beloved son, they easily see as one of their own so it was a comfort to know that Sirius had you as his mother.

Surprised by their willingness to be familiar with you, you take a moment to process what they’ve said before nodding, your cheeks heating up slightly from the prolonged pause you had taken. “Of course, thank you Monty, Mia…” The couple’s smiles brighten at your use of their nicknames, “So, for the holidays, I planned a surprise for my boys: a little getaway from our city home. I was wondering if we could organise some sort of playdate, where James could come over along with Sirius’s other friends for a day or two — the two of you are perfectly free to attend as well.”

Fleamont’s eyes light up in an instant. “That sounds good to me. I’m sure James would appreciate spending time with friends outside of school.” As Fleamont laughs cheerily his wife nods in agreement, their eyes sparkling with equal excitement.

“It would be nice to get out of the house too. Is it okay for us to spend the day with you as well?”

“Of course! Honestly, it would be preferred.” You’re quick to reassure her but pull a rather sheepish look, “I don’t think I’m ready to monitor five rambunctious teens by myself.”

“Won’t Orion be with you?” Fleamont asks curiously.

“I’m afraid he has other important matters to attend to.” The Potters exchanged a concerned glance but said nothing and followed your lead on ignoring the subject altogether. Their smiles quickly returned as they agreed to your invitation.

“We’d be happy to attend!” Euphemia perks up, “Do you already have a date in mind?”

“I was thinking a weekend but not Yule, that is a day for families; so the weekend after that. On the first or second of January would be ideal.

“Done.” Fleamont shares a smile with his wife.

“We should be careful that the boys don’t try to convince us to have a sleepover,” Euphemia laughs as you and her husband join in.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they do. From the letters James sent home, they’re a rather troublesome bunch.” Prompted by her husband, Euphemia combs her fingers through his messy locks as she straightens her back, appearing to look for something through Fleamont’s locks.

“Still no grey hairs, darling, you’re not to worry.”

“So cheeky,” Fleamont rolls his eyes at his wife, who just giggles and cuddles into his side. Their exchange is adorable and sweet, and pulls a fond smile onto your lips.

“It’s settled then; I’ll be sending you an owl closer to the time as a sort of formal invitation. You can easily use the floo network to get there, I’ll provide instructions in the letter I send you. Oh and please try to keep the date a secret, I want the whole thing to remain a surprise for the boys.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Euphemia agrees as Fleamont smiles lovingly at his wife’s obvious excitement.

“Of course! I can’t wait for the day!

“I’ll make sure to be a good host,”

When the boys finally return, Regulus proudly presents you with a sweet treat, while Sirius hands you something savoury. You sample both equally, your expression brightening with delight at their delicious choices for you. “Thank you, my darlings. Both were very tasty!” after wiping your lips with a small handkerchief, you kiss each of them on the forehead to which they beamed up at you with radiant smiles.

Watching the exchange, James’ expression becomes almost shy as he looks up at his mother, who gives him a questioning look. “Why are you looking at me like that, Jamie?…”

“Nothin’.”

“It’s because I wasn’t given something yummy that you don’t get to have a kiss~” She giggles as James blushes, dashing off for a quick moment before coming back with a treacle tart for his mother. Finally, Mia kneels down and gives him a kiss in thanks, giggling as her husband chuckles behind his hand.

“I told you you should have got it the first time, you plonker,” Sirius teased, and James groaned, his cheeks flushing.

“Shut up, Sirius,”

As the afternoon grew a little older, you were dragged onto the central floor by Sirius and Regulus, who planned on sharing a dance with you together. All three of you joined hands and improvised a three-person waltz as best as you could to the festive music. The entire time, your cheeks hurting from how hard you were smiling — to think that your boys could get any more precious. You questioned why they were both dancing with you at once rather than separately, and their answer was said in such an obvious tone that it made you think that they didn’t argue for long on the topic, deeming the compromise as the perfect solution.

“We couldn’t decide who got to dance with you first. So we’re dancing the first dance with you, together!” They’re too sweet!

Several dances later, you were finally gathering the boys to say their goodbyes. First were to the Potter family, who wished you all well for the holidays, and you, them. Then, you ascended back to the VIP room, where Orion remained engrossed in conversation with the other purist families. While you voiced your goodbye to your husband, the boys gave curt goodbyes to all of their cousins except Andromeda, who received the warmest goodbye — she was very obviously their favourite for her kind and understanding nature. When it came to saying goodbye to their father, however, the boys hesitated. You had already moved on to bidding farewell to other patriarchs, matriarchs and cousins, so you weren’t there to see their attempts to bid their father goodbye. Each time, they were met with a dismissive wave, pushing them away more and more.

“Come on Reggie,” Sirius huffs under his breath, glaring at his father from under the stray whips of curls that had fallen over his eyes, “Mother is waiting for us.” Sirius leads the way to where you stand by the VIP room’s exit.

“But—! We didn’t say goodbye to father—”

“Why does it matter? He doesn’t care anyway!”

When they finally reach you, their sadness dissipates from the sight of your radiant smile. “Did you say goodbye to your father?”

The two nod with guarded expressions thinly veiled by a smile before you move to urge them to the exit, “Then let’s be off.”

Together, you collected your coats and stepped into the fireplace. With a small countdown, you all simultaneously threw down the powder as you called out the clear destination. “Astrolite Hall!” Green flames engulf your small trio in an instant, and, moments later, you emerge to find yourselves standing in the grand sitting area of a breathtaking countryside estate nestled in the Yorkshire Dales. The boys gasp, their eyes wide with wonder as they take in the establishment around them. They weren’t very familiar with the other Black family estates outside of their city home and the few dotted around France so this was a pleasant surprise, a new adventure. At this new thrill, their earlier displeasure with their father is easily forgotten. Taking in their precious expressions, your heart swells with love.

The manor was breathtaking—a sprawling countryside estate that seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the tall, arched windows, casting golden beams across the polished antique furniture. Through the windows, you could glimpse the gorgeous greenery outside, symmetrical, well-kept and lush despite the winter season, there was even a fountain at the centre. The air smelled unfamiliar but pleasant with a touch of tuberose and amber, a welcome change from the cramped atmosphere of Grimmauld Place, though you do miss the touches of dried lavender you and Regulus littered about the house.

“Welcome, my darlings,” you softly announce, leading them inside.

Sirius was the first to break the silence, his voice ringing with awe as his eyes took in the manor. “Blimey, Mother, this place is massive!”

“Yeah!” Regulus rolls on the balls of his feet beside his brother with equal enthusiasm. Both were as charged with energy as the other, feeding off one another’s excitement and vigour as their wide eyes took in the grandeur of the parlour. The high ceilings were adorned with intricate carvings, and a crystal chandelier hung above them, one that looked even more extravagant than the ones they saw at the soiree. Their incontestable joys were infectious but you did your best to temper your own excitement as much as possible, settling for a calm smile so that there was a balance of emotions in the positively charged atmosphere.

“This place is called Astrolite Hall, and I don’t think we’ve been here before,” you inform them helpfully shrugging off your heavy coat to hang on the back of an antique grandfather chair. “But it’s going to be our home for the holidays. What do you think?”

“It’s brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed, eager to dart off and explore. Regulus was more for a moment, glancing up at you briefly, before looking to his brother with a smile — you don’t know if he wanted to silently apologise for his uncharacteristic zest or seek brief assurance from your body language. You can tell that they were keen to scout out the new space, they were like racehorses eagerly awaiting the horn and the opening of the gates to launch them into competition.

“Why don’t you two pick out your bedrooms upstairs? Once you’ve decided, I’ll un-shrink your luggage, we can unpack and then you can explore to your heart’s content.”

Loving the idea, Sirius and Regulus zip up the grand staircase, their footfalls muffled by the thick carpet as you follow close behind, gigging into your palm as you lift the skirt of your dress to better traverse the stairs. By the time you got to the upper floor, they had already chosen their rooms, indicated by the doors they had left open for you to peek into. You weren’t surprised that they chose rooms that were right beside each other, but it still made you smile at the close bond that they have with each other; they deserve to have a close sibling relationship, and it warmed your heart to see it’s open display.

“Is this the room you want?” you ask, pulling Sirius’ luggage out of your pockets. From where he lay sprawled over the large, king-sized bed, Sirius launched himself into a sitting position and nodded with much enthusiasm, his curls bouncing up and down with the movement.

“My room is the next one over, Mother,” Regulus announces, grinning widely at you as he sits up with his brother. It looked as though they were making snow angels from the bedsheets, their excitement making them forget their usual manners. But you were happy to see them having fun so you don’t fuss about it the same way Walburga was shrieking up a storm in the back of your mind. Once you had deducted who’s room was who’s, you approached and un-shrunk their luggage with a wave of your wand — you love magic so much; it made things so convenient for you.

“Which room will you pick?” Sirius asked as he jumped down to begin unpacking.

“I think that one will do,” you announce, standing in the doorway and pointing at the room directly across from theirs, this made the boys grin in delight as they secretly cheered that Orion wasn’t there to ruin the mood. So as to not waste any more time, Regulus hurries to his room so that he can unpack as well.

“Once you unpack, you can explore the estate as much as you like but try to make it downstairs in the sitting room by 5 pm, please; I have a special task I need you two to help me with.”

“What sort of task?” Sirius asks with curiosity as Regulus appears in his doorway with an equally curious look. The two watch as you elegantly walk to your room to unpack your bags too.

“A fun task,” you replied, looking over your shoulder so they could see the giddy twinkle in your eyes.

Regulus’ pulls the sweetest most hopeful expression you could think of. “Really?”

“Yes! And we’re going to do it together while Kreacher cooks dinner in the kitchen.”

“Kreacher’s here?” Regulus lights up even more, like a Christmas tree.

“Of course,” you smile as your youngest vibrates with excitement, and Sirius laughs at his little brother’s obvious joy before poking fun at him teasingly. Regulus whines, expressing that he likes Kreacher so, of course, he’s excited, but you can see the fondness that remains in their eyes — they’re true siblings.

“But it feels a little stiff in these formal clothes,” you add, easily magicking your luggage’s contents into the appropriate storage compartments about your room, “Why don’t we change into our pyjamas for the rest of the day?”

Regulus frowned. “But it’s not nearly bedtime yet.”

Sirius rolls his eyes but grins brightly. “That doesn’t mean we can’t be in our pyjamas! Come on, Reggie!” The two hurry to finish unpacking so they can change into their pyjamas while you change into your own as well, though it took you a little longer than anticipated.

“Have fun exploring boys, see you downstairs!” you call, finally walking out of your room and down the hall to descend the stairs in your ankle-length, white-cotton sleep dress with long sleeves. Despite the cold temperatures outside, the estate was the perfect climate, even the carpeted floors were heated as you walked about in your socks.

“See you later!” The boys call back in unison.

When you meet with Kreacher in the kitchen, the boys were already causing a storm upstairs, though you didn’t quite mind; it was nice to have a lively atmosphere about a home for once. With Orion at Grimmauld Place, the air always felt a little stiff and dull so you’re glad the boys could finally act like children without any restraints.

“The young masters be being very loud today,” Kreacher comments with a small smile as the two of you prepare the ingredients for dinner together.

“Yes, they are. Doesn’t it sound lovely?” you ask but giggle when there’s a loud shout from upstairs (Sirius), quickly followed by a sharp ‘shush’ (Regulus) and then shared laughter.

“Very lovely the sound be, mistress!” Kreacher shares a smile with you before you both return to the task at hand, indulging in the music of cheer your two boys create upstairs. Tonight’s menu consisted of a comforting, slow-cooked beef with potatoes, carrots, peas, garlic, and onions in a hearty beef and red wine broth. With it, you have the options of garlic bread and, or mashed potatoes.

“You’ll join us for dinner, won’t you, Kreacher?” it was a gentle request, one that you consistently make before every meal as you and the house elf work together to prepare something delicious. Your hope is that the holiday season will finally allow him to agree and dine with you.

“N-no thank you, Mistress…” you sigh but don’t express any frustration or dismay, only acceptance as Kreacher looks up at you with a small, apologetic smile. At least he felt comfortable enough to reject your offer. “Big master Black will be wanting his dinner tonight too so Kreacher is busy.”

“I understand,” you make a point of meeting his glassy eyes before expressing your gratitude sincerely, “thank you for working so hard for our family, Kreacher,”

“Mistress is welcome.” And at least he was comfortable accepting praise and saying ‘you’re welcome’, now too.

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔݁ ˖

Sirius and Regulus ran through the halls, their endless laughing echoing off the walls as they explored every nook and cranny of the large, unacquainted estate. The manor was everything you could dream of for the boys. There was a grand library with towering shelves filled with books and plush reading nooks; it was much larger than the one at Grimmauld Place. There was a games room filled with magical and Muggle board games (courtesy of you), a cosy reception area with a roaring fireplace, and a curving staircase that had a sturdy bannister to slide down. All the available bedrooms, of which there were six, had their own en suite bathrooms and balconies with equally scenic views all around. A beautiful, ergonomic study room was at the very end of the upper floor’s hall, with its own mini library, two large desks with drawers and golden emeralite bankers lamps. There was even a room full of paintings ranging from portraits to scenic views of the ocean or sloping fields. All of the paintings moved, and most of the portraits were of ancestral Black family members, who, unfortunately, had many unpleasant blood purity things to say, so Sirius and Regulus didn’t stay long to admire the gallery.

Once the boys came downstairs, they slipped into the dining room, which was a masterpiece of elegance. It was primarily occupied by a long, polished table that could seat twenty. A sideboard took up space beneath the scenic painting hung on one side of the room, where inside its drawers were matching plates and bowls with analogous silverware. There were also antique china: teapots, cups and saucers, and a tiered dish tray for afternoon tea. Yes, the boys opened and searched every drawer and cabinet. The other side of the dining room had floor-to-ceiling glass walls that opened to a raised decking area so that there was an option for outdoor dining should the weather permit it.

Through the tall windows, the outside grounds were just as impressive. In the distance, there stood a large greenhouse that was bursting with colourful flora within. It was so large that the boys debated whether they could faintly see a spiralling staircase and mezzanine inside or not. There was also a sprawling porch area that overlooked a serene pond with many lily pads on the surface, surrounded by the well-kept gardens and it’s tall, topiary cone hedges and walls. To end their adventure, the boys returned to the sitting area they had first entered, touching every piece of furniture and clambering onto every place to sit before they admired the view outside. The greenery was identical to the one they had seen through the dining room windows, except there wasn’t a large greenhouse or a pond, but there was a beautiful fountain spouting water at the very centre of it all.

“Did you have fun exploring?” you turn to face the boys who enter the kitchen with flushed cheeks as they softly panted. Looking about the space, they could tell that the kitchen was a chef’s dream, complete with a walk-in pantry stocked to the brim so that you may never grow hungry. The smell in the air was mouth-watering, and they could spot a stewing pot on the impressive gas stove bubbling away beneath its cover. Another pot of boiling potatoes sat beside it with a fork and a wooden spoon nearby to help check the potatoes’ tenderness. The ovens were also at work, it seemed, though they couldn’t quite make out what was inside. Dinner smelled delicious already, as usual.

“It was so much fun!” They said in unison as you giggled. Undoing your apron, you step up to their buzzing figures with a smile, committed to hearing all about their explorations but they have other plans. In their barely contained excitement grab one of your hands each and tug you away pleadingly, asking about the special, fun task you had promised them earlier. Of course. How could you think that their sharp minds would forget such a promise?

“Let's go do that thing you needed our help with!”

“What is it anyway, Mother?”

“You’ll find out soon enough, it’s in the living room—” They begin to drag you away more earnestly but you stop them before they can pull you too far. “Hold on now,” you laugh and look over your shoulder at Kreacher, who was standing on a stool by the kitchen counter, preoccupied with the brief side-task you had given him earlier, “Why don’t we grab some snacks from Kreacher, first? Don’t forget your ‘please’ and ‘thank you’s.” Kreacher’s ears perked up at the mention of his name and he eagerly turned to brighten at the sight of his young masters’ fixed gazes on him, his long ears flapping in delight.

“Can we have a small snack, please Kreacher?” Regulus begins as he and his elder brother step up to stand on either side of the house elf.

“Are you preparing our snacks right now?” Sirius asks, peering over the counter to glimpse at what the house elf had been so preoccupied with.

“Yes yes, eldest young master,” Kreacher eagerly cheered before looking a little sheepish, “Kreacher will be taking just a little bit more time with thems though, young masters.” his veiny hands shyly covers the finger sandwiches he had been assembling, embarrassed from their half-made state.

With a nod of understanding, you urge the boys to the pantry, “That’s alright Kreacher, it’ll give us time to make hot chocolate,” your comment makes Sirius snap his attention towards you, eyes bright — making hot chocolate together was something James had mentioned that he and his family did every night during the Yule holidays. Would he get to partake in the same cosy ritual with his own happy family? “Oh! Are you excited, Siri?” you softly coo, tenderly poking his cheek with a teasing grin as Regulus snickered at your other side.

“H-how are we making the hot chocolate, Mother?” Sirius diverts the topic, wanting to get the attention off him and focus on the hot chocolate. Thankfully, you follow his lead with grace.

“We’re making it on the stove but we need to get the ingredients first,” working together, you gather up the ingredients and melt chocolate blocks into a pot with four mug-fuls of full-cream milk. While Sirius carefully stirs the softly bubbling, chocolatey liquid, you and Regulus whip up the cream to go on top together. Each person was allowed to assemble their own hot chocolate after you poured a portion into the four mugs (the last being for Kreacher). You made yours the way you liked before looking over to see how everyone liked theirs. Sirius had a mountain of fluffy, whipped cream on his with chocolate shavings on top. Regulus liked his hot chocolate with a reasonable amount of whipped cream and mini marshmallows. When presented with his own festive mug of hot chocolate to assemble, Kreacher didn’t care for the whipped cream but went crazy over the mini marshmallows, which made all of you giggle.

Now that everything was complete, Kreacher snapped his fingers to quickly assemble the freshly baked cookies and finger sandwiches onto decorated tea plates atop a wooden tray, leaving room for coasters so that you had a place to put your hot chocolate mugs on. “Thank you, Kreacher,” you voice kindly, taking the wooden tray into your hands from where it was suspended mid-air before Sirius and Regulus soon followed you with their gratitudes.

“Thanks, Kreacher!”

“Thank you so much, Kreacher!”

“Mistress and the young masters a-are welcome…” Kreacher hides his shyness in his mug of hot chocolate, his droopy ears tinted an adorable pink at the tips.

“Feel free to join us in the living room, Kreacher, the more the merrier!” you call behind you, stepping out of the kitchen and making your way to the living room as Regulus and Sirius hold the doors open for you.

As soon as you made it to the living room, you set down the tray of snacks and hot chocolate on the coffee table before waving your wand to reveal your surprise: the hidden Christmas tree. The proud, bushy Douglas fir tree stood in the corner, tall and full but undecorated, occupying the space with its lush branches, and almost reached the high ceiling. Earlier, you had asked Kreacher to enchant the tree with a preservation charm just for the holidays so that the boys don’t have to see the fir shedding its needles, with ease, Kreacher did just that with a snap of his fingers.

Eying the tall fir’s barren appearance, Sirius is reminded of the marvellous way December began for him, where he and his close friends saw Hagrid dragging the giant Christmas tree into Hogwarts’ main hall. Once magicked upright, all the professors extravagantly decorated it, leaving behind the most beautiful tree he had ever laid eyes on. Sirius was surrounded by magic since birth but seeing the tree get decorated so beautifully was the most magical thing he had ever witnessed.

Sirius’ expression dropped into a frown, disappointed that this tree may remain the same bare and joyless tree they’d had for every Yule growing up. If only his family’s tree could look a fraction similar to the tree at Hogwarts. “It looks a little dull, Mother.”

“Dull?” Sirius snaps his attention to Regulus, only just realising what he had said aloud. “Isn’t it usually like that?��

Your heart broke at your youngest’s genuine confusion and the implication of his innocent words. It makes you want to lash out at the poor excuse of a mother sequestered in the back of your mind but your priority will always be your boys first so you steady your smile, instead, watching the two interact as you lift your wand once more behind them. Without them noticing, you manage to nudge a heavy box into view.

“You should see the giant tree they put up in the main hall at Hogwarts,” Sirius’ voice is filled with awe and there’s a thrill behind it that makes you believe he’d stop at nothing to show his little brother the grandly decorated tree he had witnessed. “It’s beautiful, Reggie.”

“And our tree is going to look equally beautiful with all the decorations we put on it,” you announce, grinning at their wonder-filled expressions before directing their attention to an innocuous box at the side of the tree. The boys waste no time rushing to it, their eyes widening as soon as they see the beautiful ornaments inside. There were shiny baubles of all different shapes, delicate glass figurines, and strings of golden tinsel. The common theme of colours were gold, silver, red and green.

Sirius looks up at you with a hopeful expression as Regulus brings out a string of tinsel to play with. “Are we… are we decorating the tree together, Mother?”

“Of course we are, my love.”

Sirius’ chest swells with warmth and launches himself at you without a second thought, hugging you around the waist as he buries his bright grin into the cotton of your night dress. This was his second wish for the holidays that had come true, first the hot chocolate, now tree decorating with the family. Regulus, though quieter and still awing over the glittering tinsil, looked equally thrilled, his hands now reaching for the beautiful ornaments.

“Our tree is going to be the most beautiful tree ever!” Sirius cheers, digging for the ornaments that he finds are the most aesthetically pleasing before rushing to hang them on the fir tree’s needles, “Come on Reggie!” Regulus hops up beside his brother and happily lays the tinsel on the green branches with a happy cheer. To set the mood properly, you approach the gramophone on a side table and begin to play a Christmas album.

As you decorate the tree together, Kreacher eventually joins you and, with him, you enchant the candles to prevent any fire hazards before fixing them onto the tree and setting them alight. There was a small ladder at hand for you and the boys to utilise so that you could reach higher up the tree, but you left the climbing to the boys, choosing to remain at the foot of the ladder, instead, to hold it steady and catch them if they ever toppled over. On occasion, you would all partake in a small snack and drink break, the boys happily gulping down their hot chocolate before it has the chance to cool down. However, in their eagerness, they were left with melted cream above their upper lips, sending everyone into a fit of giggles. Everyone managed to, at least, acquire a white moustache throughout the evening.

Laughter, the soft clinking of ornaments, and softly playing Christmas songs never allowed the room to grow quiet. For the first time in what felt like forever, you were together, happy and carefree, creating precious memories that would last you a lifetime.

NAVI. | SERIES M.LIST | NEXT. 11 : PLAYDATE →

A/N : this was a pretty long one, i'm so sorry my loves but i hope you enjoy the read! i'm also really sorry that it's come out so late, life has been really busy for me recently and i have a lot of things going on at once, i hope you understand.

i also want to announce that this series will be going on HIATUS as i want to take the time to thoroughly plan future chapters and plot points, i also want to focus on other writing projects i plan on releasing this year. and, i hate to admit it but DOB has grown a little exhausting to keep up with because of everything going on currently and i don't want to push updates to the point of burnout as that'll risk me abandoning the series altogether and i intend to finish it.

i hope you darlings can understand where i'm coming from, i'll try to get back to the series as soon as i can but i can't guarantee a definite date of return. i love you all so so much! thank you for supporting and loving the series so far! see you soon!

#ange reblogs #angemyrtille

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angemyrtille · 4 months ago

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Oh my. I just- I have no words to tell you how much this was such a wonderful reading. Truly, it felt like I was reading one of the novels I read all the time haha <3

I think your writing + our ever hopeless romantic James Potter, are what made me feel this way. Ivy, everytime you write something, it's like you give life to the character, and, again, the way you write is amazing.

Every single thing in this is nothing less than perfection, and I hope I will read more of your masterpieces 💗

I’ve read every single one of your works, and I am absolutely obsessed! The way you write and capture emotions is beyond amazing—it’s pure magic. I really hope this isn’t too much to ask 😭, but I just adore your writing so much. If you’re not comfortable with this request, though, please don’t hesitate to ignore it. Thank you so much!

Could I request a James Potter x Reader story? The plot starts with James pursuing Lily Evans, but along the way, he realizes his feelings for her were more about the excitement of the chase. In contrast, with the reader, he feels truly at ease, able to be himself without pretending or changing for anyone. I’d love for Lily’s perspective to be included—how she starts to desire James after noticing how much he’s 'matured' in his relationship with the reader, but she can only stand by and watch as James and the reader create their beautiful love story.

chase ⋆˚࿔

synopsis ⭑.ᐟ james potter x reader where he realizes who he truly loves

warnings: fluff overload, mild angst

word count: 1,836 words

author's note: omg stopppp you’re making me blush ‹𝟹 this is the sweetest thing ever, and i’m so honored you enjoy my writing!! ♡

navigation┆ james potter masterlist┆request here 𝜗𝜚

James Potter had been chasing Lily Evans for years. Everyone at Hogwarts knew it—how he’d flash his most charming smile, throw an arm around her shoulder with a wink, and dramatically proclaim his undying love. It was all in good fun, of course. At least, that’s what he always told himself.

Lily, ever stubborn, had always rebuffed him. At first, she detested his arrogance. Later, she simply rolled her eyes and dismissed his advances, treating him as little more than a particularly persistent house elf. James didn't mind. The chase was half the fun, after all.

"She'll come around, you'll see," James would say after every rejection, running a hand through his already messy hair.

"Mate, she's been saying no for three years," Sirius pointed out, sprawled lazily on the Gryffindor common room couch. "At what point do you consider the possibility that she's actually not interested?"

James gasped, placing a dramatic hand on his chest. "Not interested? Padfoot, please. That’s just what she wants me to think."

Remus sighed from behind his book. "Or perhaps she genuinely means it. You ever consider not making a public spectacle every time you ask her out?"

Peter snickered. "Yeah, Prongs, maybe if you stop serenading her in the Great Hall, she'll stop running the other way."

"That was one time!" James protested. "And I thought she’d appreciate the gesture."

You, sitting cross-legged by the fire, smirked. "James, darling, even I was embarrassed for you, and I usually live for the drama."

Sirius grinned. "See? When even our dear, theatrical doll here cringes, you know you’ve gone too far."

James huffed, crossing his arms. "You lot are supposed to support me."

Remus finally set his book down, giving him a small smile. "We do support you. We just also support your dignity."

James groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Alright, fine. Maybe I’ll try… a different approach."

The boys exchanged glances, and you patted his knee sympathetically. "That’s the spirit, Prongs. Maybe next time, just… don’t propose in front of McGonagall again."

James groaned even louder as the Marauders burst into laughter.

But somewhere along the way, the chase had stopped being fun.

It had started with you.

You, the one he never really had to chase. You, who laughed at his antics but also scolded him when he was being too reckless. You, who had a quick wit but also a kindness about you that softened his rougher edges. You, who never needed him to be anything but himself.

It hadn’t happened all at once. There was no lightning strike, no grand revelation. Just little moments that wove themselves into something undeniable.

The way you tucked a stray curl behind your ear when you were reading, tongue poking out slightly in concentration. James had watched you do it a hundred times before realizing how endearing he found it. The way you argued with Sirius about the best way to sneak into Hogsmeade, eyes alight with mischief as you held your ground against the self-proclaimed master of rule-breaking. The way you always had a spare quill when he inevitably lost his, rolling your eyes fondly as you handed it over with a teasing, "Honestly, James, do you even own quills?"

There was the way you leaned against his shoulder after a long cold day, sighing. "James Potter, you are a human furnace. Please continue existing exactly as you are."

There was the way he found himself seeking you out first—before Remus, before Sirius, before Peter, before anyone else—whenever he had good news to share. The way his jokes felt funnier when you laughed at them. The way his name sounded different coming from your lips, softer somehow, like it belonged there.

One night, after an exhausting Quidditch practice, you had met him outside the changing rooms with a chocolate frog in hand. "For your heroic efforts," you’d said with a mock bow, pressing it into his palm. He had laughed, shoving it into his pocket, but the warmth in his chest lingered long after.

James Potter had always thought he wanted a grand, all-consuming love. He had spent years chasing something he thought would make him whole. But standing beside you, teasing and laughing and existing so effortlessly together, he realized something else.

Maybe love wasn’t supposed to be a chase.

Maybe it was supposed to feel like home.

Lily noticed the shift before James did. It crept up on her, subtle but undeniable, like the slow changing of seasons. He still ruffled his hair like a prat, still laughed too loudly with his friends, still turned every moment into a grand performance. But there was something quieter about him now, something settled in the way he carried himself. The endless pursuit that had once defined James Potter—the grand gestures, the dramatic declarations, the unrelenting chase—had stopped. And he hadn’t even noticed.

At first, she felt relief. She had spent years pushing him away, certain that his attention was something fleeting, something she didn’t want. And now, finally, he had listened.

Then she felt something else.

She caught herself watching him more often. Noticing the little things. The way his grin softened when he looked at you. The way his hand found your wrist when he pulled you toward him in the common room, like it was second nature. The way he listened when you spoke—really listened, with an intensity that made it clear you had his full attention. She had never seen that look on his face before. Not when he looked at her.

And suddenly, she found herself wondering. Had she been wrong about James Potter?

Had she spent all these years dismissing him without ever really knowing him? Had she mistaken boyish bravado for immaturity, mistaking the show for the substance beneath it?

But it didn’t matter.

Because James wasn’t looking at her anymore.

The realization hadn’t struck James like lightning, not at first. He hadn’t woken up one day and thought, Oh, I love her. No, it was something slower, quieter—woven into the fabric of every moment he spent with you.

It was the way you sat beside him in the common room, curled up with a book, the firelight casting flickering shadows across your face. The way you absently played with the hem of his sleeve when you were lost in thought. The way you saw him—not James Potter, Quidditch Captain, mischief-maker, the boy who never stopped chasing—but James. Just James.

And for the first time, he found that was all he wanted to be.

He didn’t need to impress you. He didn’t need to chase you. He could just exist with you, and it was enough.

There was a night—one that stuck with him, long after it had passed—when he had finally put words to the feeling.

You had found him on the Astronomy Tower, shoulders hunched against the cold, lost in thoughts he hadn’t even realized were weighing him down. You didn’t ask what was wrong. You just sat beside him, close enough that your knees touched, close enough that he could feel your warmth.

“You ever think about who you are without all the noise?” he murmured after a long silence.

You tilted your head. “What do you mean?”

James hesitated. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve spent so much time being—being James Potter, you know? The one who’s always got a joke, the one who’s always chasing something. But with you…” He trailed off, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “I don’t have to be anything but me.”

You blinked, taken aback, before a small smile curved your lips. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

James let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Yeah,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Yeah, it is.”

You nudged his shoulder gently. “For what it’s worth, I like just you.”

And that was it.

Not a grand confession. Not a dramatic moment. Just quiet understanding.

Just home.

Lily saw it all unfold. Saw James fall in love without the fanfare, without the spectacle. And for the first time, she saw him—not the boy who had chased her, but the boy who had finally stopped running.

And it wasn’t for her.

It was too late.

Then came the grand gesture.

James Potter did nothing in half measures, and asking you on a date was no exception. If anything, he seemed almost nostalgic about the whole ordeal—like he had spent so many years planning elaborate schemes for Lily that now, finally asking the right person, he wanted to do it justice.

So, naturally, it started with fireworks.

Not just any fireworks, but ones that spelled out your name across the sky in brilliant, shimmering letters, crackling above the Quidditch Pitch where half the school had gathered after dinner. Then came the enchanted banners floating midair, reading: 'WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME?' in flashing gold and red, trailing behind a very enthusiastic Sirius, who had volunteered to fly them around on his broom. A charmed choir of singing toads croaked a love song (Remus’ contribution, because, according to him, ‘there needed to be some class in this spectacle’), and Peter had somehow gotten his hands on a bouquet of flowers that smelled like sunshine.

James himself stood in the center of it all, hand on his heart, eyes locked on yours, waiting.

The crowd turned to you, hushed in anticipation. Lily, standing off to the side, watched with wide eyes, an unreadable expression on her face. There was a time when she would have scoffed at something like this, dismissed it with a roll of her eyes.

But you—

You were grinning.

Dramatically clutching your chest, you gasped, staggering back like a swooning damsel in distress. "Oh, James Potter! Whatever shall I say? This is all so sudden!"

James, without missing a beat, fell to one knee. "Say yes, my darling star! For I have loved you since the dawn of time—or, well, since fourth year at least, and that’s practically the same thing!"

You pretended to think, tapping your chin. "Hmm. I don’t know, Potter. It’s an awfully big commitment."

James shot to his feet, grabbing your hands, eyes wide with mock desperation. "I shall spend every day proving myself worthy of your love! I shall carry your books! Share my sweets! Defend your honor against Slytherins and bad hair days alike!"

You sighed deeply, then beamed. "Well, in that case… Yes! A thousand times yes!"

The crowd erupted into cheers, Sirius fist-pumped midair, and Remus groaned into his hands. James, triumphant, swept you up in a spin, laughing so hard his glasses nearly fell off.

Lily watched it all unfold, and for the first time, she felt the weight of what she had lost. Not because she wanted James, not really. But because once upon a time, it had been her he was chasing.

But James Potter had finally stopped chasing.

Because he had already caught what he was looking for.

#ange reblogs #angemyrtille #james potter x reader #james fleamont potter

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angemyrtille · 5 months ago

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may i req a remus fic? maybe smtg angsty? like hes dating the r for a bet? i lovee u anyways, I'll devour whatever remus fics u decided to write my love

Sweet Lies

Remus Lupin x f!reader

Summary: Remus had come closer to you. He had said the right words, held your hand, kissed you with a tenderness that felt so real. But it was all a lie. All part of a stupid bet.

Warnings: angst

A/N: honey, I hope you like it and you are so sweet, saying these things that make my heart race - thank you so much <333333 I really hope this doesn't just sound like a stupid cliché

Masterlist

Remus Lupin entered your life like a comet: unexpected, bright, and impossible to ignore. It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment when you stopped seeing him as just another quiet student from your house and began to notice the quiet strength he carried. There was something in the way he seemed to notice the details that everyone else missed—a book you liked to carry with you, the slightly frustrated tone in his voice when someone interrupted you during a heated discussion about spells. He didn’t just see you, but seemed to understand the parts of you that no one else bothered to unravel.

You had always been calmer, more reserved. In a castle full of extravagant personalities and voices echoing down stone corridors, you were the type of person who preferred to observe. But Remus changed that. Not in a grand or obvious way, but with small gestures that slowly began to dismantle the walls you had built around yourself.

“You’re always so focused here,” he commented once, sitting beside you in a quiet corner of the library. His brown eyes shone with something that seemed like genuine admiration. “It’s like the world could end outside, and you wouldn’t even notice.”

You had laughed, trying to look away, but he didn’t give you room to escape. “Maybe because the world is calmer in here,” you replied, closing the book you were reading. “There aren’t as many distractions.”

“Is that so?” His tone was curious, almost challenging. “And me? Am I a distraction?”

He was. From the first moment he pulled a chair next to you, from the first time he asked if you needed help with that complicated spell in Defense Against the Dark Arts. His presence was a constant distraction—and one you didn’t want to escape.

Now, as you both walked across the school grounds, the night air bringing with it a chill that made the sky look even more starry, Remus held your hand gently. His fingers were long and slender, marked with scars he never fully explained, but which you had learned to recognize as an essential part of him.

“Are you cold?” he asked suddenly, stopping in the middle of the path to look at you. The moonlight danced on his brown hair, tousled by the wind.

“Not really,” you lied, not wanting to break the moment.

Remus raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a smile you knew was reserved for when he was about to challenge you. “You’re not a very good liar, you know that?”

Before you could answer, he took off the scarf he was wearing and carefully wrapped it around your neck. The touch of his fingers brushing your skin made a pleasant warmth rise on your cheeks.

“All set,” he said, adjusting the scarf as if it were the most important thing in the world. “Now, no cold can get to you.”

You didn’t respond, simply pulling him by the collar of his robe, making him lean closer. Your lips met in a slow, peaceful kiss, a perfect reflection of how Remus made you feel. He was everything you didn’t know you needed: secure, warm, and a little broken, but somehow whole when he was by your side.

When you pulled away, his eyes searched yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “If I could, I’d stay here forever,” he whispered, his voice deep but soft. “Just the two of us. Nothing else matters.”

"Remus," you called, hesitantly.

He turned his head toward you, his brown eyes shining with that familiar mix of curiosity and patience. "Hm?"

"Do you think people can really change? I mean... not just change on the outside, but on the inside too?" Your question slipped out before you could stop it, and for a moment, you almost regretted saying something so vulnerable.

Remus furrowed his brow, a subtle gesture you had learned to recognize as a sign that he was thinking deeply. "I think so," he replied carefully. "But it’s not easy. Changing means facing parts of yourself you’d rather ignore. And not everyone is willing to do that."

You looked at him, noticing how the moonlight seemed to soften the lines of his face, making him almost ethereal. There was something comforting in the way he spoke, as if he understood things that no one else could.

"I’m asking because..." You paused, the hesitation tightening around your throat. Part of you wanted to pull back, keep what you were about to say hidden, like you always had. But his presence had a way of making you feel safe, as if nothing could hurt you while he was by your side. "Because sometimes, I feel like I’m... not enough. Like I’ll never be good enough for anyone."

His eyes met hers with an intensity that was almost unbearable. "Why do you think that?"

You shrugged, trying to keep a light tone that contradicted the pain in your words. "I don’t know. Maybe because I’ve never been the one people choose. I’m... comfortable, but not memorable."

The silence that followed your words wasn’t empty. It was heavy, filled with something you couldn’t name. Remus squeezed your hand, and when he finally spoke, his voice carried an emotion you hadn’t expected.

"That’s not true," he said, almost in a whisper. "You’re so much more than you think you are. And if other people can’t see that, the problem is theirs, not yours."

The warmth in his words warmed something inside you, something that had long seemed dormant. You looked at him, searching for a clue in his brown eyes that always seemed to be full of secrets. He knew how to say the right things, but there was something in that response—a hesitation, a slight tremor in his voice—as if he carried an invisible weight.

"Do you really think that?" you asked, your voice filled with a vulnerability that was hard to admit.

Remus hesitated, just for a moment. It was such a small gesture that, if you weren’t paying attention, it could’ve gone unnoticed. But you did. The pause was brief, but enough for something inside you, something very small, to stir.

"I do," he finally replied, his voice firm now, as if he wanted to bury any doubt that might have arisen. "You’re incredible. And I want you to know that."

You believed him. There was no way to doubt him when he said things in that deep, conviction-filled tone. So, you let the moment pass, preferring the security of the present to questioning what might have caused his hesitation.

When he leaned in toward you again, pressing his lips to yours, you allowed yourself to believe that this was all that mattered. The kiss was calm, unhurried, but filled with something you couldn’t name. Maybe a silent promise.

The next few days passed like a dream for you. Everything seemed to align in almost a magical way. Remus was always around, with that soft smile and the eyes that seemed to see straight into your soul. He had a way of making even the simplest moments—like studying in the library or walking through the halls of Hogwarts—feel special.

You couldn’t help the smile that appeared whenever you thought of him. He made you feel like you were the only person in the world who mattered, like everything around you could fall apart, and yet you’d be safe as long as you were with him.

That afternoon, you were leaving the charms classroom when you heard familiar voices coming from a nearby corridor. The sound of laughter was the first thing that caught your attention, followed by the unmistakable tone of Sirius Black.

"You have to admit, Moony, it was brilliant," Sirius was saying, his voice full of amusement.

"I don’t know if brilliant is the right word," Remus replied, but there was a light tone to his voice, as if he was trying to hide something.

Curious and with a smile on your face, you made your way toward the voices. It was always nice to see Remus with his friends. He seemed so at ease with them, so different from the introspective Remus you knew. And you liked Sirius—he had that easy charm that made you laugh even when you didn’t want to.

But when you got close enough to see them, you stopped. They were facing away from you, meaning they hadn’t noticed your presence. Remus was leaning against a wall, arms crossed, while Sirius gestured animatedly.

"I still can’t believe you pulled it off," Sirius continued, laughing. "You know, of all of us, I thought you’d be the last to take a bet like that."

The smile on your face froze.

Remus sighed, looking uncomfortable. "It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Sirius."

"But it was, and it worked," Sirius insisted. "Thanks to you, Prongs finally got what he wanted. Lily agreed to go out with him. All because you got our friend here to think you were interested."

You couldn’t move. It was as if the ground had disappeared beneath your feet.

"I..." Remus hesitated, and for the first time, his voice sounded heavy. "It’s not that simple, Sirius. She... she trusts me. I didn’t want it to be like this."

"But it was," Sirius repeated, now with less enthusiasm. "And don’t tell me you didn’t know from the start that this was a bet. You agreed, Remus. And now... well, you know it’s not going to last forever."

You wanted to say something. You wanted to shout, cry, demand an explanation. But the words were stuck in your throat. Everything around you seemed to spin. The air was cold, but it felt like you were suffocating.

Remus had come closer to you. He had said the right words, held your hand, kissed you with a tenderness that felt so real. But it was all a lie. All part of a stupid bet.

Without realizing it, you took a step back, and the sound of your movement echoed down the corridor. They both turned immediately, and the expression on Remus’s face when he saw you was enough to break your heart.

"You heard," he whispered, his voice full of something that seemed like regret.

You didn’t respond. You didn’t trust your own voice. All you could do was look at him, your eyes filled with tears you refused to shed there, in front of them. The air felt heavy, almost suffocating, and the pain in your chest was so intense it felt impossible to stay there for another second. So, you turned away, without saying a word, and began to walk, your steps quick and awkward, desperately trying to put distance between you.

"Wait!" Remus’s voice echoed down the corridor, full of urgency.

You didn’t stop. Not for a second. The tears burned in your eyes, threatening to fall, but you blinked furiously, determined not to let him see how much he had hurt you.

"Please, just... listen to me!" Remus insisted, now closer. You could hear the sound of his footsteps, hurried, as he tried to catch up with you.

"Leave me alone, Remus!" Your voice came out louder than you intended, broken by the knot in your throat. But you didn’t care. All you wanted was to disappear, to flee from that nightmare that seemed to be sucking the air from your lungs.

But he didn’t give up. Before you could take another step, you felt his hand grabbing your arm. The touch was firm, but not aggressive, as if he were afraid of hurting you even more.

"Please, listen to me," he pleaded, his voice low now, almost begging.

You turned toward him with a sharp movement, pulling your arm from his touch. "Listen to me?!" Your voice trembled, filled with hurt and disbelief. "What else can you say, Remus? That it was all a bet? That I was just a joke to you and your friends?!"

He shook his head so forcefully that his brown hair fell over his eyes. "It’s not like that, I swear! It wasn’t supposed to be like this..."

"It wasn’t supposed to be like this?!" You took a step back, as if his proximity was too much to bear. "Then tell me, how exactly was it supposed to be, Remus?!"

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His silence was like a direct blow to your chest. You saw the conflict in his eyes, the pain, the guilt... but also the truth.

"It was real," he finally said, his voice hoarse, almost inaudible. "What I feel for you... it’s real. I know I messed everything up, but I need you to know that."

You laughed, but the sound was empty, almost cruel. "Real? You think that matters now? After everything? You got close to me to help James get a date with Lily, Remus. You used me. How... how can you say that’s real?"

He took a step toward you, his eyes pleading. "I know it seems unforgivable, but please, believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I... I don’t even know when I started feeling this for you. But I do. I feel it so much it hurts."

"Well, congratulations," you shot back, your voice heavy with sarcasm and pain. "At least we’re on the same page. Because it hurts, Remus. It hurts so much that I can barely breathe. And you’re the reason for it."

The words came out before you could think, but they were true. He looked at you as if every syllable had been a blade. "I just wanted a chance to explain..."

"There’s nothing to explain," you interrupted, your voice quieter now, almost a whisper. "You’ve already said everything you needed. And I... I was foolish enough to believe in you."

You didn’t wait to see his reaction. Turning, you ran, ignoring his calls behind you. The tears finally fell, a cascade of pain you couldn’t contain any longer. And as you ran, you realized that no matter how fast your feet moved, there was no escaping the feeling of having entrusted your heart to someone who shattered it.

The following days were a blur of pain and emptiness. You felt like you were moving through life as a shadow of yourself, desperately trying to rebuild the walls you had torn down for him. Every brick you laid felt too heavy, as if the hurt and betrayal had drained all your strength.

Avoiding Remus was harder than you’d like. Hogwarts suddenly felt too small, with hallways that always seemed to lead him to you. But you refused to look into his eyes, to give any sign that he still had power over you. It was always the same: turn into another hallway, enter an empty room, or simply lower your head and keep walking.

You felt his gaze on you sometimes. Not insistently, but present. Like a shadow. He didn’t confront you directly, didn’t call your name out loud, but you knew he was there, at a distance, trying to find a moment when you weren’t so broken.

But you weren’t ready. Maybe you never would be.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed more worn out with each passing day. He clung to the routine like a man adrift, trying not to drown in the sea of guilt that consumed him. He knew he had no right to approach you, not after what he had done. But he also knew he couldn’t just leave things as they were.

He tried a few times, hesitantly, to approach you in the hallways. "Please, just a minute..." he had started on one occasion, but the way you ignored him, as if he didn’t exist, was worse than any response.

Other times, he simply watched from afar, waiting for a sign, anything that might indicate that you were willing to listen to him. But nothing came.

He threw himself into his studies, trying to find a distraction, but even that was useless. The words in the books seemed to dance, and he couldn’t focus for more than a few minutes. Every time he closed his eyes, the memory of how it all started haunted him, cruel and relentless.

James had presented the idea casually, almost as a joke. "If you get close to her, Remus, I swear Lily will go out with me. She said she’d only agree when our grumpy friend finally had a boyfriend."

Remus remembered Sirius laughing when he heard the plan, how he had crossed his arms and commented on how impossible it would be to win you over. "She’s not the type to fall for tricks, Prongs."

But James, with that confident smile and unshakable determination, insisted. And Remus, for reasons he didn’t even fully understand at the time, agreed. Maybe it was James’s persistence, or the need to help his friend get what he wanted so badly. Maybe it was curiosity. Or maybe, deep down, he already knew there was something about you that intrigued him.

At first, that was all it was. A simple, almost harmless plan. He would get closer, gain your trust, and then James would have his chance with Lily. But nothing went as he expected.

You were different. From the very beginning, Remus realized there was something about you he couldn’t ignore. The way you spoke, with a calm tone but filled with passion for what mattered to you. The way you laughed, a sound that seemed to light up any room, even though it was rare. The way you looked at him, as if you saw beyond the scars and the calm facade he tried to maintain.

He started with small gestures: sitting next to you in class, starting casual conversations in the hallways. And every time you smiled at him, something inside him melted. He liked being the cause of that smile. He liked hearing you laugh, seeing your face soften when he made some silly comment to ease the tension.

And then came the kiss.

Remus would never forget that moment. He didn’t know exactly how it happened—maybe it was the way you looked at him that afternoon, the sun setting and bathing your face in golden tones, or maybe it was the way your soft laugh filled the silence between you. But he knew he couldn’t resist anymore.

When your lips met his, it was as if the world had stopped. There was no bet, no guilt, nothing but you. He felt his hand tremble slightly as it touched your face, but when you returned the kiss, when your fingers found their way into his hair, Remus knew that was the best moment of his life.

And that was why he couldn’t confess.

Every time he thought about telling you the truth, the fear paralyzed him. He knew he had started it all for the wrong reasons, that he had lied to you, but now... now you were the most important thing to him. He didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t lose you.

But the weight of the guilt was unbearable. Every smile you gave him, he felt the knot tightening in his throat. Every intimate moment, he hated himself a little more. He wanted to believe that what you had was strong enough to survive the truth, but a part of him knew that the revelation would destroy everything.

And now, as he walked through the empty hallways of Hogwarts, trying not to think about the sound of your broken voice, Remus knew he had made the wrong choice. He should have been honest. He should have told you everything before it was too late.

But he didn’t. And now, he didn’t know how to fix what he had broken.

The reunion happened days later, at the end of a quiet hallway near the library. You had gone there to find a moment of peace, away from curious glances and whispers that seemed to follow you wherever you went. But, as if the universe insisted on testing your strength, he was there.

Remus was leaning against the wall, his face marked by exhaustion, his brown eyes fixed on the floor as if carrying the weight of the world. When he heard your footsteps, he lifted his gaze, and the air seemed to vanish from the space.

"I... I didn't know if I should be here," he started, his voice rough, as if he had rehearsed those words a million times and still didn’t know how to say them. "But I needed to see you."

"Why?" Your voice was cold, distant, but inside, everything was in ruins. "What more could you possibly say, Remus? What’s left to explain?"

He took a step towards you, but stopped when he saw the way you instinctively stepped back. The pain on his face was almost tangible, but it was nothing compared to what you felt.

"I know I messed everything up," he said, his voice breaking. "And I know it's selfish of me to want to talk to you after everything. But I can’t... I can’t just let you go without trying, without telling you how much you mean to me."

"Mean to you?" You repeated, laughing without humor. "Remus, I was a bet. I was just a means to an end. And now you want to tell me I mean something?"

He shook his head, his eyes pleading for understanding. "It wasn’t like that... it’s not like that. Yes, in the beginning, it was because of James. But from the moment I truly got to know you, everything changed. You changed everything. I know this doesn’t erase what I did, but... I love you."

"Don’t say that," you whispered, your voice trembling. "Don’t make this harder than it already is."

"But it’s true!" He took another step, and this time you didn’t back away, even though you wanted to. "I love you. I loved you from the moment I realized you were different from anyone I’ve ever met. From the moment you let me into your life, even when I didn’t deserve it."

You stared at him, your heart racing, and the pain you had tried to suppress overflowed. "And that’s what makes it worse, Remus. Because, despite everything, despite the lie, despite the betrayal..." Your voice faltered, but you gathered all the courage you still had to say the words you feared the most. "I still love you."

The silence that followed was deafening. Remus seemed to freeze, his eyes wide as he absorbed your words.

"You have no idea how much this hurts," you continued, your voice barely a whisper. "I love you, Remus. And that’s what’s destroying me, because I know I can’t trust you. I know that every time I look at you, I’ll remember that it all started with a lie. And I don’t know how to deal with that."

"I didn’t want to hurt you," he said, his voice filled with desperation. "If I could go back in time, if I could change anything, it would be this. I never would have been part of that bet. I would have gotten to know you for you, not because of James’s stupid plan."

You laughed, but it was an empty sound, devoid of joy. "That doesn’t change anything. You made a choice, Remus. And now we both have to live with the consequences."

He approached slowly, as if every step was a silent plea. "Then tell me what I can do. How can I fix this? Because I can’t imagine my life without you."

"There’s no fixing it." Your voice was firm, even as your heart seemed to shatter. "Some things, Remus, can’t be repaired. Some things just break, and all we can do is accept it."

For a moment, you stood in silence, the world around you fading as you looked at him, trying to memorize that moment. Because you knew it would be the last.

"I wish things were different," you finally said, your voice so low you could barely hear it. "But they’re not. Please, just... go away."

His gaze shattered, and for a moment, he looked as if he was about to say something more. But then he simply nodded, the heavy silence settling between you before he turned away, his footsteps echoing through the empty hallway.

You waited until he disappeared before letting the first sob escape, as painful as the feeling inside you.

#ange reblogs #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #ouch. this hurt.#but i loved this a lot

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