angellrantsss

[angellrantsss]

[angellrantsss]

You know what sucks

Having an eating disorder and failing at having said disorder. Having the same cycle every few weeks. Not losing weight, but still obsessing over eating less and constantly counting calories. Losing a little bit of weight, then realising you can’t do this for the rest of your life because you feel like absolute shit, mentally and physically, and you realise you have a healthy weight. Then deciding to pig out and hate yourself for it. Then eating normal again. Aaaand a few weeks later you start over..

You will never meet your goal, but you can’t let it go. Everyday is a disappointment. Everyday you feel like a failure. Stuck. Endlessly.

[angellrantsss]

i want to be skinny already i don’t wanna wait

[angellrantsss]

[angellrantsss]

tbfh

[angellrantsss]

Remember the last time you were almost there. Do you remember the feeling? The sense of comfort and easiness that came by just existing in your body. Why did you take it for granted? Remember the way you felt when you sat down? When your stomach was flat, and did not form into a million rolls. Remember how nice they treated you? How many people told you “You look better!”, with a fake smile and a sign of despair, because they wished they were you. It is time to remember. Time to remember your goal. Time to remember the feeling of bliss that you felt. Only you can bring it back. Only you can get there again. Only you can control yourself.

[angellrantsss]

“You aren’t fat” mf you know I have eyes right??😭😭

[angellrantsss]

Don’t google “how to lose weight” or “how to get a flat belly for women,” you know the answer. Stop eating, pig. Lol.

[angellrantsss]

Do it for the limitless outfits. Do it for the thigh gaps. Do it for the comfort that you will feel in your body in any given situation. At school, at work, on the beach, in a dress. Do it for the satisfaction that you will feel each time you look in the mirror. Do it for the jealous looks. Do it for the feeling of superiority. Do it for yourself. Do it because you can.

[angellrantsss]

IM THREE LBS LIGHTER THAN LIKE THREE DAYS AGO

[angellrantsss]

𝕤𝕖𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕤 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕣 >>>

[angellrantsss]

[angellrantsss]

I fucking. Didn’t work out today. Or I won’t. Like I get this thing where I just get stuck in bed and I get paralyzed from weird anxiety or loathing or whatever. And I’m not gonna work out. Luckily I only ate like 900 cal today but. Yeah. Def under 1000. That’s good. But still sucky

[angellrantsss]

binging again and I’m two lbs heavier i kinda wanna kms

[angellrantsss]

Worked out for the first time in days. Felt good. Did have a dysphoric crisis tho and now it’s like 3 in the morning and I wanna eat

[angellrantsss]

Hmmm. The dysphoria is dysphoria-ing. And i just ate rice. Sooooo. Impromptu workout upstairs it is

[angellrantsss]

What if I just stopped having friends like stopped talking to them and they were happy cause they didn’t have to deal with my stilted conversation or inability to talk about the right things and my tendencies towards either talking about the most trivial shit or the most unnecessarily intimate shit. What about that