andhishairwasperfect

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“Life is not Eden, professor! The sun does go down—and darkness has its hazards!”

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“Yo, Bob—what’s the deal here?”

Spectacular Spider-Man #162 by Gerry Conway and Sal Buscema

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These rankings are wack, so I’m re-ranking

Doctor Doom: SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS LIST but is great

J. Jonah Jameson: Truly one of the greats. What is there to say

Kingpin: Overused a bit but truly the king

Doc Ock: The best actual no-shit for-real Spider-Man villain on the list

Vulture: Low-key tho?? He has so many great stories, plus he feels actually dangerous while also being a grumpy asshole

Sandman: Love the face-turn for him, altho it doesn’t really happen in Spidey titles

Juggernaut: I don’t think he really belongs on this list but he is in one of the best Spidey stories

Hobgoblin/Green Goblin: Their great stories are unfortunately weighed down by their many bad ones

Mysterio: Honestly I love Mysterio. He has a great costume, has more than one type of story, and he’s SUCH a loser.

Shocker: Maybe THE jobber villain. Love this loser.

Kraven: I love Kraven but he’s hardly ever used effectively

Venom: He was awesome, then he was oversaturated, now he rocks again

Rhino: Pretty cool

Electro: Maybe the biggest dirtbag on the list

The Burglar: Highest batting average of anyone on the list. Pretty funny he’s listed here.

Silvermane: Starts as a lame Godfather ripoff, becomes a cyborg. That’s good.

Scorpion: He’s a dirtbag in the way Electro is, but he’s more annoying. Plus his gimmick sucks

Chameleon: He’s fine

Hydro-Man: Sucks so bad that he rules. One of the great jobbers.

Hammerhead: I’d like him more if he was the ONLY old-timey gangster pastiche but there’s so many of them

Tarantula: He’s fine

Lizard: Curt Connors is great, but Lizard sucks. Only going this high bc he’s a Ditko creation

Human Fly: Could be an all time great comedy villain, but he’s almost always used as a serious villain. I only like the Hembeck version

Crime-Master: Fun early villain who nonetheless is kinda boring

Jackal: I kind of appreciate that he’s a total freak… but the dude sucks and is responsible for so much stupid bullshit

Molten Man: Sucks. Boring.

Sin-Eater: Dude sucks but honestly I kinda dig the costume. Plus he comes back later as a ghost with the Sin Shotgun

Red Skull: Great Cap villain, terrible Spidey villain. Plus he gets retconned to be Red Skull II. Stinks!

Puma: Fucking hate this dude.

Carrion: BOOOO! TOMATO, TOMATO!!

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Funny out of context Spider-Man panels

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“True. Small. But still mighty.”

- Transformers by Daniel Warren Johnson

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“Farewell, Spider-Man—you are worthy!”

“So are you, I guess.”

- Amazing Spider-Man #211 by Dennis O’Neil & John Romita, Jr.

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In ASM #37, the attempted slap is a kind of physical awakening of mutual attraction, of tension, of the hierarchy of human relationships in the world not necessarily being quite what they’ve always seemed. Peter offers to walk Gwen to class, but feeling snubbed by his aloofness the past few weeks, Gwen Stacy replies, “What are you doing, Mr. Parker—slumming? Usually you’re too stuck up to say hello to anyone.” Peter suggests that Gwen is a “temperamental female.” A few more words are exchanged before Gwen accuses Peter of arrogance, and throws out her hand to slap Peter on the cheek, half-playfully, but with anger behind it as well: “You think you can say what you want to me, and then—Oww!” Peter catches her hand in his palm before it reaches his cheek. After this moment, the world shifts slightly to accommodate the reality introduced by Gwen Stacy’s action. Parker seems to feel himself capable of flirting, of asking for what he wants, of calling out his adversaries at school. This quiet moment of Gwendolyn Stacy’s attempted violence seems to alert to him that he is someone worth the effort of slapping, that his actions matter—that independent of any heroic acts he may perform as his alter ego—he matters. Gwen Stacy makes Peter Parker count for something besides the freakishness that he uses to save the city from villains each night.

Sarah Bruni, The Night Gwen Stacy Died

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“It doesn’t matter why I hate—I only know that I do and that is enough!”

Martian Manhunter #8 (w: Ostrander, a: Mandrake)

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Even a once-upon-a-time outlaw knows that talking about his wife to the woman he's sleeping with is deadly.

Heat 2 by Michael Mann and Megan Gardiner

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Check it out, it’s the first 6 pages of a Batman fan-comic I’ve been working on! This was a big challenge for me, but I’ve been trying to improve my art skills, and I’m pretty happy with how this came out!

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Opening page of Uncanny X-Men #206 by Chris Claremont, John Romita Jr. and Dan Green

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(day 69 of my X-Men art challenge) Punk Storm! (with and without Callisto)

Marauders #7 (February 2019) writer Gerry Duggan, penciller/inker Stefano Caselli, colorist Edgar Delgado, editor Jordan D White

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Title page from Marvel Fanfare #40 by Chris Claremont and Craig Hamilton

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So much in his life did not make sense. But money did.

The Color of Money by Walter Tevis

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Professor Ivo: “No, wait a minute! This isn’t what we planned. What’s she doing, Morrow?”

T.O. Morrow: “Can’t you see? She’s being GOOD.”

Professor Ivo: “What are you talking about? Look there! She’s preparing to destroy the Justice League.”

T.O. Morrow: “No. No, she isn’t. She’s overriding her program codes. Shutting down her telepathic broadcast facilities. She’s making her own decisions.

I told you I could build a better synthetic being and there’s the proof, Ivo, you heinous toad! It’s all in the brain! A neural plexus so intricate it was able to spontaneously generate a rudimentary ethical code! When did your Amazo ever FEEL anything, eh? When did he ever defy his programming? I’m a genius! She’s amazing!”

Professor Ivo: “You did this just to prove a point? You did this just to show you were better than me? Have you any idea how much money we spent on that thing?”

T.O. Morrow: “Ah, so what? We can steal some more! I just showed you a soul being born.”

JLA #5, “Woman of Tomorrow”

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“We are all dust. Flecks of matter in a universe with no center. But that dust is the dust from which all things were made[…] and in a universe without a center, each of us is the middle.”

Invisible Kingdom #5

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