anangryally-blog

[anangryally-blog]

The bad news is: people are crueler, meaner, and more evil than you've ever imagined. The good news is: people are kinder, gentler, and more loving than you've ever dreamed.

[anangryally-blog]

I'm very pissed off.

I learned a lot about patience and empathy when I was young.

I remember my mom pulling imaginary patience out of her heart and tossing it to me when she could tell I was low on it. She would toss it across the room and even though it was invisible I could actually feel it working. I’d go from emotional to stable with just a few handfuls. Real, live magic. Of course now I understand it was a placebo effect. This understanding, though disappointing, has given me the confidence to understand my emotions and do my best to control how I react to them. I’m not always good at taking the ‘high road’. I do not always choose to be calm. I argue. I get emotional. Typically I do what most people do - I make a decision and my pride glues me to it no matter how right or wrong it is. The tragedy of being human. But often I struggle to commit to a single belief or side because “what if I’m wrong?” Shouldn’t we all be asking that question? I want so badly to do what’s right but what’s right for me can be wrong for someone else.

At least I know that much.

I’m not sure what to say right now about everything happening in our country. It’s very difficult to remain composed, smart, and thoughtful when you’re simultaneously outraged. I can’t picture my moms handfuls of patience being thrown in my direction and I find it impossible to see the other side. I think I’m right, but what’s right for me might not be right for someone else.

Right?

I’m not so sure anymore. Sometimes there IS a right and a wrong and no grey space in between.

I got labeled a liberal or a democrat or a hippie or whatever else I’ve been told I am because of my focus on people. Had nobody ever thrown those labels at me I’d be hanging out somewhere in the middle. When my dad was a State Representative I’d hear him talk about all the political drama amongst the other reps. He would bring up controversial bills they were going over. Sometimes he’d talk about one and I’d think, “I don’t know what the issue is there, that one seems pretty great.” The republicans are for that one. Oh. “I don’t know what everyone’s whining about with this one, it seems very helpful.” The democrats are for that one. I see.

Sometimes politics obsess over money. Sometimes politics obsess over people. Lately it seems to be obsessing over the need to choose one over the other. This is where my composure gets a bit lost. This is where my label gets put on me. I am a dirty dirty liberal because I choose people. I will always choose people. I sincerely do not understand how I could be wrong here.

I have never been in a position where someone told me I couldn’t do something, until recently when some of my rights became threatened because I am a woman — a rant for another time. Can I get married to the person I love? Yes. Can I go to school? Yes. Can I see a police officer and know he or she will protect me? Pretty confidently. Can I travel the world? Yes. Even despite speaking only one language? Yes.

What would I do if anything in my life was taken from me from a total stranger?

…What would YOU do?

Call me overreactive, but I would be So. Fucking. Angry. If a stranger told me I couldn’t do something that had absolutely nothing to do with his or her life I would want to hurt that person. I would feel violent. Protective. Confused. Misunderstood.

I have the privilege to say, “fuck you, this is my life.” I have the privilege to not NEED to consider these questions. I have the privilege of knowing my family is safe and happy.

I could choose to be silent during times of injustice. I have the privilege of making that choice even though I’m aware that not everyone around me has the same comforts.

But I don’t choose to simmer down.

Because I’m not a piece of shit.

I’m a fucking human and so are you and so are 7 billion others. Seven. Billion. Seven billion adorable, tiny babies have been brought into this world and cried and laughed and grown up.

Not a single one of these 7 billion asked to be here. Not a single one requested to be born into any particular life.

Call me a crazy, illiterate, liberal bitch but my brain cannot grasp how some people think it’s FINE to fuck with another persons life FOR NO REASON.

And don’t give me a single “reason” that has to do with money or a book or petty personal preferences, because if it doesn’t directly affect the roof over your head, the clothes on your back, or the people you love, then it doesn’t fucking matter.

I am sick of being patient, calm, cool, collected, composed, indifferent, and peaceful. I am sick of saying, “Oh woah I’m sorry I forgot to fact check that part of this issue. I didn’t realize it was going to be so detrimental to your livelihood to let a gay man marry the love of his life. I didn’t realize saving boat loads of drowning children from Syria was going to make your house too crowded. It must have escaped me that all your efforts toward helping EVERY kid have a good life is compromised now because so many of them are being aborted. I can’t believe I forgot to think about the effectiveness of a wall while I ignorantly considered putting my tax dollars instead toward free education for all the non-aborted kids. I’m out of line, I’ll go do some more reading.”

Enough of that.

Fuck you guys. Seriously fuck every single person who thinks any of the inhumane things Donald Trump and his supporters are doing is okay. Fuck every single person who has the audacity to say “Liberals want free handouts” as if none of you have ever needed any kind of support EVER in your lives. And if you’ve never needed support then it means you were given hand outs PROBABLY FROM WEALTHY RELATIVES.

I don’t have any patience left because I am educated. Has anyone ever taken a history course? Has anyone ever been taught that history repeats itself? Does nobody care about the parallels between Hitler’s agenda and Trump’s agenda? Has anyone researched psychology? Does anybody know about the Stanford Prison Experiment? Did you comprehend the results and what they told us about human behavior? Have you heard of the phenomenon the “Bystander Effect”?

I don’t have any patience left because I am empathetic and I don’t live in a magical little bubble all by myself. I don’t separate my humanity from the humanity of another human because read those words and recognize how fucking absurd it would be to do that. It’s important to me to occasionally think “what would I ACTUALLY do if I were in their shoes?” Because I am a liberal bitch who is on the right side of history and I’m definitely not going to see a side that promotes oppression and regression.

I don’t have any patience left because I am American and I fucking love what my country was meant to stand for. Remember the statue of liberty? Do you remember where she came from (hint, she is not made in America)? Do you know what she stands for? Remember how we got here? You know how fun it is to go on ancestry.com and find out all the different countries your great great grandparents came from? WE ARE ALL IMMIGRANTS AND REFUGEES. Do you know the difference between the words UNITED and DIVIDED. Guess which one we chose to put in front of our country? UNITED. Remember?

I don’t feel comfortable living my happy life day to day anymore when so many people are affected by the political corruption. Do our politics not reflect our ethics? So many people keep telling me to forget about the politics. Stop worrying, Have hope. Don’t get so mad at the people you love for supporting different things.

I’m not pissed off at people because they are republican. I’m not pissed off at people because they voted for a candidate they thought would give us palpable, necessary change. I’m not pissed off that people are protective of our borders and of our economy. I’m not pissed off that we keep an eye out for terrorists. I’m not pissed off that people don’t want their hard earned money to go to someone else.

I’M PISSED OFF BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE OKAY WITH HURTING OTHER PEOPLE. I’M PISSED OFF BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PRETENDING SOME OF US ARE SOMEHOW BETTER THAN OTHERS.

I’m not angry about politics. I’m angry about ethics. And I don’t give a fucking shit if we are related by blood or if we have known each other for twenty years or if you volunteer at the animal shelter on the weekends. I don’t want anything to do with anybody at this point who thinks it’s okay that our president is not-so-slowly following in the footsteps of a man who gave us our largest genocide in history. I don’t want anything to do with anybody who thinks it’s okay to prevent me from getting birth control or from stopping an unwanted pregnancy. I don’t want anything to do with anybody who thinks it’s okay that racism is still an enormous issue. Nothing that’s happening right now is okay. And me trying to understand how that escapes so many people is like trying to justify slavery, the holocaust, rape, murder, child abuse, and everything else that we KNOW is wrong. There is no grey area in there. This isn’t a situation where we ponder the different sides. This isn’t about economics or politics.

I don’t support violent protests. But I don’t support silence either. I don’t want terrorists here. But I refuse to label 5 year old Syrian children as terrorists.

I don’t tend to be an extremist in any way except that right now I’m extremely protective of the people around me who don’t have my same privileges for the dumbest fucking reasons in the universe. I am unapologetically at a zero tolerance point right now. I am in FULL ally mode. I will not choose to live my life regularly because I get to. I am going to utilize my position to be here for all the people around me as best I can. I’m not going to stop complaining. I am not going to dramatically move to Canada because I actually want to make America great again, but for real this time and not on Trumps hateful agenda.

This is a terrible time for our country. And if you don’t see that, open your fucking eyes. And if you’re okay with that, remove yourself from my life because we no longer have any reason to be connected. You are supporting a divided frame of mind and the only part of that I support is you dividing yourself from me.

And if you’re scared or pissed off or confused or trying to figure out how to help, I’m here doing the same thing, always available to talk and find solutions.

I might not be able to create any huge difference, but I’m an ally for refugees, minorities, women, LBGTQ, everyone! My eyes are open always when I’m out and about and I am more than ready to stand my ground for both myself and my peers. I stand behind what I believe in and I’m done being patient.

So if you must keep asking when we will accept this presidency or when we will calm down or why I am still up and arms about everything or how on earth I can shut people out for mere politics, understand that to me and many other people in this country (and also the world) this is about ethics. And we won’t go away until it stops.

This will be in history books just like all the other shitty, unethical events our country has dealt with. Which side of history will you choose to be on?

[anangryally-blog]

A few years ago if you had asked me about what it's like to be a woman I would've said, "stfu and don't ask me dramatic, unnecessary questions. I have all my rights." I wasn't very appreciative of history and I certainly hadn't done very much research about our current issues. Now I get it. The fight isn't over. And this is for all the women out there who are where I was not too long ago.

[anangryally-blog]

My Cause is greater than your cause???

Getting really sick and tired of people feeling as though they can only choose ONE issue to protect.

I had this realization when Cecil the lion was shot awhile back. People were all up in arms because “Oh you care about a lion when there are American military men and women being shot at war?!?”

I was offended by that argument because people assumed that if I cared about one thing it meant I did not care about the other. Guess what? I cared for both. I care for so many things all at once that I can’t sleep at night and I feel useless for not being able to help. I cared that a lion got shot and I care that people are putting their lives on the line to protect me and the country I love.

It’s happening again.

“Oh you’d rather help refugees when we have homeless people right here?!?”

Um, no. I care for both. Thanks for your concern about my morals though.

I’d like to make it very, very clear that when I am speaking up about a specific issue it DOES NOT mean I have forgotten about all the others. I refuse to argue about who's cause is greater. If it involves a life, I care. Remember that.

[anangryally-blog]