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celebrating autism - awareness without acceptance is pointless

when i was 3 years old, i was diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome (now labeled ASD) and rediagnosed a few years later. although i am one of the lucky few who were able to be diagnosed so young, it was still mentally and physically draining for both family and friends. back then, autism was only starting to come to people’s attention and from personal experience, not a lot of people knew what to do when i had meltdowns* or when i would constantly stim** or become overwhelmed, which lead to ridicule. i used to be so ashamed; if you asked me in my pre-teen years what i could change about myself, i would reply ‘i wish i wasn’t autistic.’ this lead to years of constant battling with myself, low self-esteem and locking myself away in my room for weeks on end because i couldn’t accept myself for who i am. i would let it be a barrier for the majority of my developmental years and i punished myself relentlessly. now, i wouldn’t change a single thing about me. i am so proud to be autistic.

if you are unaware, autism is a lifelong, developmental disability that affects how a person communicates with and relates to other people, and how they experience the world around them. as it is also a spectrum disorder, this means that no two autistic people are the same and can affect everyone from any background. 

my personal journey with autism has been weird, to say the least. throughout my life i’ve heard and been subjected to ridiculous ‘cures’, for example, no gluten in your diet, the infamous belief that vaccines cause autism and even one mother putting bleach into her daughter’s drinks to ‘cure’ her autism. none of this works, obviously, but i wish i had the support and acceptance rather than people trying to ‘fix’ me. we are human beings just like everyone else, i wanted to be celebrated for being different rather than bullied. this is probably why i have such a strong love for social media, it was the first place where i was ever accepted for who i was. i met one of my best friends since 2012, anthony, through social media and our mutual diagnosis. even that is severely barely touching the surface; i have met hundreds and thousands of people online who supported me unconditionally. this attitude needs to be prevalent everywhere, however.

so how can you support someone who is autistic? well, that question is impossible to answer as, although we share the same difficulties, no two people are the same. however, here are some main things that are generally agreed upon:

do NOT support autism speaks. autism speaks are an awful organisation who try to find a ‘cure’ for autism rather than focusing on acceptance. they perpetuate that autistic people are horrible people who should be hidden away and do not listen to the needs of autistic people. this video explains wonderfully why they are not to be supported.

do NOT ‘light it up blue’ or use puzzle pieces as a way of celebrating autism. the ‘light it up blue’ campaign was created by autism speaks and autistic people generally do not like using a puzzle piece as a symbol to represent them as it comes off as being a missing piece or something that needs to be completed. go red instead! use infinity signs, not puzzle pieces!

be patient. new experiences are difficult for us. we may need some time out when a situation becomes overwhelming. encourage safe stimming when we do become overwhelmed and make sure to communicate effectively to us. since many autistic people find it hard to read others and process things a lot more slowly, this works wonders. 

use the right language. there is a really handy study that was conducted on autistic people, parents of autistic children and professionals on how to describe us. however, this differentiates between people so if you’re not sure, just ask!

over the last few years i’ve managed to go on an amazing road of discovery and acceptance in myself. autism is an integral part of who i am and i no longer believe in the stigma surrounded by it. however, without acceptance, awareness is pointless. having people who accept you for who you are makes all the difference. autism does not embody completely who i am, but a part of myself that i am so undeniably proud of. a better world for people on the autistic spectrum is a better world for us all.

*meltdowns are an intense response to overwhelming situations. it happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control.  **stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior and is sometimes also called "stereotypic" behaviour and can be anything that is considered appealing. examples include (but are not limited to) hand flapping, rocking and repetition of certain words and phrases.

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how the prodigy changed electronic music forever

the world received shocking news on the morning of march 4 as we learned that keith flint, singer of the prodigy, had died aged 49. flint’s plethora of wild stylings and performances changed the way we viewed electronic music forever. 

i’ll always have a special connection to the prodigy. our roots both connect back to essex, many car trips involved at least one listen through ‘the fat of the land’ and i can’t begin to describe, even to this day, how mad my local nightclub crowd goes for firestarter or omen. (god bless the pink toothbrush!) it’s unreal knowing that a group as rabble-rousing yet utterly brilliant burst from the essex scenes. however, in a time where teen rebellion was on the rise, the prodigy were the perfect soundtrack for those who weren’t too big on the grunge movement of the 90s. even so, the group were so diverse with their genres that most were able to resonate, sometimes going as far as even creating a genre of their own. there have been countless amounts of times where i’ve heard certain songs and called it a ‘prodigy beat’.

i was never able to fully put my finger on why the prodigy were able to stand out so much amongst other electronic and rave groups of the 90s until recently. flint’s stage presence, bursting with eclecticism and an unbeatable energy, the prodigy were absolutely unmatched. the breaking of musical boundaries propelled dance music overall into raves, clubs and stadiums. i’ve yet to find a group who can fit into so many stylistic crannies the way they can. 

flint was able to change the facelessness of electronic and techno music, which helped them soar from being played at raves to headlining festivals by the mid-90s. their music is able to unite those of all different backgrounds even across generations. trying to find performers that match up to keith flint proves to be extremely difficult, but even from the very beginning, the prodigy were true renegade revolutionaries.

keith flint will always stand as a true 90s icon, legend and my go-to voice for my own personal raves in my bedroom.

we live forever

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aliquis

last month i had the pleasure of talking to aliquis, a new synth pop rock band from brighton. i talk to matt, sam (pebbles), justine, isaac and bradley about what it’s like trying to stand out amongst the crowd, life at university and mental health.

from left to right: sam ‘pebbles’ sayers, justine perret, matt flood, isaac anderson, bradley bullimore

so, you’re quite new, i’m guessing, like you’ve only just formed within the past month or so. what made you want to form a band together and within this kind of genre? pebbles: that is a good question. [all laugh] justine: i wanted to be in a band, matt wanted to be in a band. pebbles: we all formed 2 or 3 months ago. matt: justine and i were originally sort of like, “hey, we wanted to be in a band for a good part of at least 5 years,” and now we’ve finally got actual musicians who also want to start a band. justine: you don’t find many good musicians in geneva where i’m from! matt: same in newhaven. it’s just one of those places where you just don’t find many musicians. pebbles: i think we’ve all got a common thing where we want to put energy into our performance, for example, we want to be pro-mental health in our music, like highlighting and breaking the stigma. that’s the main thing we went by. we started out with just doing the usual thing of learning a couple of covers which helped us find our sound. we’re a bit of a cross between paramore, chvrches, pvris but we’ve put our own feel to it. we just mainly describe our sound as ‘synth pop rock’ and that’s ultimately where we want to get to.

so, with the ‘synth pop rock’ genre, could you describe what you mean by that for people who may not know? justine: you take rock, you take pop, you mix them together and you add synth! [all laugh] pebbles: i suppose it’s big drums with guitar and bass backing it up. this explanation is going REALLY well so far. [all laugh] having synth at the forefront of it all. it’s almost like mixing dance with rock, i suppose. matt: as well as having electronic textures and backgrounds so you can have all of these mad guitar sounds making crazy textures everywhere. it’s a bit different, a bit weird, not on the mainstream. pebbles: i guess the best way to explain it is the fact that it’s something that’s not usual. we want to try and do something that hasn’t been done before.

speaking of that, how are you planning to stand out? especially in somewhere like brighton where it’s very musical. justine: we’re not there yet. pebbles: yeah, for example, the pop-punk scene is very heavy around here at the moment. we want to fill that niche market at the end of the day and bring some happy, energetic music where people can just go out and dance and have a good time. forget about their sh*t. [all laugh] 

so, where do you guys see yourselves in 5 years’ time? justine: doing festivals all summer! but being realistic, a uk tour would be great. pebbles: festivals, tours. matt: australian tour! [all laugh] pebbles: hopefully by that time, we should be on our second or third album. matt: maybe a good ol’ tour, that would be awesome. see, justine’s all like, “yeah, festivals all over the world!” whereas matt and pebbles are more like, “maybe a tour.” [all laugh] justine: but festivals are a GREAT way to get exposure.

following on from that, what’s your dream festival or venue to play? justine: leeds! and reading! pebbles: my dream venue is alexandra palace, festival would be download. justine: my dream venue is in geneva. it’s sh*t, but it’s geneva. since i was born there, it’s like, “hey! this is my hometown!” matt: i’d love to play glastonbury. it’ll be down the line quite a bit but reading, leeds, glastonbury. pebbles: that’s basically the dream. matt: headline glastonbury next year, why not? pebbles: you heard it here first, newly exclusive!

what’s your creative process, in terms of writing songs? have you also started to record any material yet? pebbles: we’ve started to record demos and at this point, we’re on 2 originals. justine ultimately is the main songwriter. matt: she’s an AMAZING songwriter. pebbles: she is the driving force of the writing process. she brings it to us and then we build a sound around it. justine: i can’t write instrumentals, so i just stick with the lyrics and melodies and they come up with the rest. pebbles: justine will write the lyrics and chords, but we’ll do the arrangement together. it’s a very collaborative process between all of us i’d say. everyone’s very equal. matt: and we all roast each other when something’s not right! [all laugh] we all want it to sound perfect. there’s me and [Isaac] on sound production. two producers in a band! so, we don’t just die when one of us is overly stressed since there’s two of us, it’s brilliant! so, there’s not one main creative force? all: no. matt: it’s all collective. and [Isaac] plays trumpet! i was going to ask, how does the trumpet come into all of this? isaac: just f*cking put a trumpet in a song. [all laugh] pebbles: since we only have one guitarist, having the trumpet and the keys and the synth, it gives us the chance to do a more rhythmic thing with our music. this way, we can have a really full sound with just the five of us.

how are you planning to keep the sound from overwhelming people, since you’ve just mentioned a lot of things you want to incorporate into your music? pebbles: good point! [all laugh] i suppose that’s just more to do with production. so, for example, the lead synths aren’t on the ranges. justine: fill the frequencies! matt: we’ll have a bit of mystery in there and then slam it all back in again, i suppose. getting a good contrast between things definitely helps.

the majority of you don’t actually do performance courses at bimm brighton either, right? bradley: me and pebbles are. matt: yeah, isaac and i do production and justine’s on songwriting.

how has bimm helped you in terms of your influence and creating your sound since most of your courses don’t revolve around performing per se? matt: i mean, we’ve managed to meet so… [all laugh] that’s always a good thing! isaac: being able to hire out [brighton] electric has helped a lot. pebbles: having the facilities at brighton electric and being able to use even just the common room to chat and deliberate ideas. matt: the software on the computers provided and the equipment in the production suites is INSANE. you get way more sound ideas than i’ve ever personally had before since it opens so many doors. pebbles: i don’t know whether brad’s felt this, at least on my course anyway with bass, but being taught where more notes are and having the freedom of knowing what you can and can’t use on the fretboard has been really useful. bradley: yeah, definitely.

so, overall, do you feel like bimm has helped you to move forward in your music careers? all: yeah, of course!

you can follow aliquis on their facebook page!

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best songs of 2018

another year, another music list and trying to avoid the inevitable ‘drakening’. although 2017 still personally dominates as the better year, 2018 didn’t let us down with tunes that i’ll be listening to for years to come. here, i list some of my favourites!

hunger by florence & the machine the instant juxtaposition comparing the lyrics ‘at seventeen i started to starve myself, i thought that love was kind of an emptiness’ and florence’s delicate, airy demeanor hits anyone at first listen. this only grows throughout the song, showing vulnerability and urgency to fill a meaningless void with anything; drugs, love, fame. although ‘hunger’ doesn’t stray away from the classic florence and the machine formula, the musical form of trying to untangle what it means to be human feels refreshing. someone you loved by lewis capaldi newcomer lewis capaldi tugs at listeners heartstrings with ‘someone you loved’, a stunning, emotive power ballad expressing heartbreak over a previous relationship. the sickening ache in capaldi’s voice paired with a nuanced piano makes for the perfect combination and captures the pure intensity of agony. although i keep describing this song as painful, it starts to become ingenious as defenseless lyrics such as ‘i guess i kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain’ resonate with anyone who has experienced similar. wallowing in the misery of heartbreak has never sounded so divine. there’s a reason why (i never returned your calls) by blossoms throughout their first album, it felt as though blossoms weren’t really sure what they were trying to be, but ‘there’s a reason why’ is the definite standout track for me on ‘cool like you’. the band have skyrocketed and now sound more confident in themselves than ever. contemplative lyrics are dressed up in 80s vibes and catchy synths that’ll leave you tapping your toes days after listening. 

no tears left to cry by ariana grande i am so happy there is someone like ariana grande in the spotlight right now. although ‘sweetener’ was not all it was cracked up to be, ‘no tears left to cry’ is one of the best ways to do a pop song: playful, carefree but in no way is it crude or cringe. grande sounds more beautiful than ever with such power and control in her voice, it’s hard to amount to. despite all that’s happened to her in the past two years, she acknowledges that tradition will never be what she sets out to do and is only determined to rise through the ranks. i go crazy by orla gartland orla gartland’s years on youtube have finally paid off, becoming a well known name releasing ‘i go crazy’, a track that oozes ferocity yet quirkiness. throughout the rise in popularity, gartland has never sounded more authentic. the multi-talented singer songwriter magnetises listeners from the very first lyric, ‘i’ve got no clue what you’re thinking, you move your hand away from mine’. unrequited love is painful, but this song makes it sound so satisfying.

audrey tell me by juice the members of juice want to be your favourite guy in this playful funk tune. the band fix up a perfect concoction of rock, rnb and hip hop to create their own signature sound. the distinctiveness is clear to hear through the sheer amount of attention to detail. the best thing about this song is it is truly incomparable. i struggle to think of a band who are able to have such a groovy flair to them without either being a rip-off or getting too messy.

this is america by childish gambino it’s quite a feat to have a song define an entire year, but donald glover’s determination to make everyone question their true morals and bring light to what is truly important is too overwhelming to ignore. under his musical counterpart as childish gambino, he manages to invoke the entirety of the usa about their testy relationship with blackness in this satirical masterpiece. if any song were to go viral this year, i am over the moon it was this one. minacious cadences yet versatility galore, childish gambino manages to go against the odds with ease.

if you want to check out more song i’ve loved from this year, check out my spotify playlist!

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a brief inquiry into online relationships - the 1975 (review)

‘

the 1975 have never been ones to stray away from questioning contemporary culture especially in this social media driven era. in their third album, the band dress up disenchantment, bittersweet honesty and fury in a wide array of genres, from afrobeats to pop-funk. having the album produced almost entirely by drummer george daniel makes the album even more significant than it already is. matty healy’s lack of filter makes the 1975 one of the most relevant bands right now, unapologetically sharing their own personal philosophy on what it’s like to experience life in this day and age.

matty healy understands how absurd it can be growing up as a millennial and is able to channel that perfectly through this album. a common theme explored in this album is addiction, specifically healy’s heroin addiction. ‘it’s not living (if it’s not with you)’ personally shows one of my favourite things a song can do: sound joyful and pure yet the lyrics are dreary in comparison. ‘surrounded by heads and bodies’ is described as a rehab song by healy and a sweet dedication to a girl, angela, who he met while trying to recuperate from the addiction.

‘the man who married a robot’, the story of a troll who falls in love with the internet, feels like an unintended sequel to ‘fitter happier’ by radiohead. although the song is seemingly innocent with satire as the siri voice and carefree piano plinks shape the story, the message becomes disturbing when you realise the internet is forever, we are not.

even amongst the eclectic choice of genres, the record boasts copious amounts of ballads. ‘be my mistake’ leaves listeners vulnerable with healy telling us, ‘just wait till i give you a sign cause i get lonesome sometimes.’ however, ‘i always wanna die (sometimes)’ sounds like the album’s instant classic. lyrically, the band go back to their mancunian roots with an overwhelmingly britpop sound. 

‘a brief inquiry into online relationships’ is the dystopian perfection we’re already living in. already 10-20 years into this technology-dominated society, we still have no true idea as to how this will impact us all psychologically. as a lost generation, we are all perfectly happy mind-numbingly scrolling through facebook or twitter. this is what i feel the album is really encompassing; the way we struggle to relate to and communicate with one another through the suffocating rush of distraction and information alike. modernity may have failed us, but the 1975 definitely did not.

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how does music affect the brain and one’s feelings?

music has become an amazingly diverse phenomenon that has the capability of making us feel extremes of spectrums and digging deeper into the fundamentals of what it means to be human without becoming irrelevant in the slightest. it’s become a staple in modern society, giving us the eloquence that language alone sometimes cannot capture. this post will explore how much we can gauge the importance of music in relation to emotions and how it affects humans on a day to day basis.

an important observation to make when regarding music is that everyone has at least one genre they enjoy. obviously, when we experience something we enjoy, the brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is mainly responsible as to why you feel satisfaction, happiness and addiction (this becomes important later on). this also helps with the fact that the brain is constantly seeking order and structure, thus the combination of an enjoyable song and what the brain regards as sufficient arrangement produces all the dopamine the brain could ever wish for and upping the level of serotonin. however, this soon becomes boring and emotionally devoid when it’s realised that the same enjoyment also needs aspects of the unexpected. therefore, emotion can easily be manipulated by construing the audience’s expectation and controlling it to become something that resonates with others rather than leaving them in easy yet predictable comfort zones. this doesn’t mean these comfort zones can’t be entertaining. imagine you’re listening to something where a factor of a song is instantly recognisable, like ‘we will rock you’ by queen. with one of the most iconic drum lines of all time, the familiarity of hearing this is rewarding as it is easier for us to predict when the next beat will occur. this response is mainly unconscious as it is not directly processed through the brain’s frontal lobes, the part responsible for processing emotion and responding to memories.

we also perceive music in two different emotions: perceived emotions and felt emotions. this means that sometimes we can understand the emotions in a song without actually feeling them, which explains why some of us find listening to sad music enjoyable rather than depressing. we also don’t feel any threat from listening to music unlike in real life events, so we can have these vicarious emotions where we can perceive them without having to feel them. because of this, these violations are ultimately regarded as a source of pleasure. combining the expectations found in music and the emotions builds anticipation which eventually builds up into the reward reaction, found in addicts (told you it would come back!) 

but why does music affect us so profoundly? music essentially is the notion of what it is to be human. i asked a bunch of my close friends how music personally makes them feel. from around ten different opinions, most were exactly the same. as one of my friends effectively put it, ‘listening to something like parklife by blur is quite playful whilst everybody’s changing by keane stabs you in the heart’. there’s no real way to measure how happy or sad songs are, but this blog post (an extremely good post, i recommend reading in its entirety) on what is considered to be the saddest radiohead song does a pretty good job. spotify uses ‘valence’, a metric that measures positivity in a song. we can also use the song’s sentiment found in the lyrics. somehow, not a lot of research has gone into the depths of this subject, but a lot of it can be based on coping strategies. we can listen to music that elicits emotions in a given moment, for example, if we feel down we can listen to uplifting music and vice versa with any other mood. while music can affect us in an acute emotional moment, it can also be used to teach us about underlying emotions and the unconscious elements of our emotional structure. unlike language, notes are free to convey pure emotion, unfettered by the need to be understood, giving musicians complete freedom when connecting with others.

recent studies have shown that music could also be used therapeutically. the american music therapy association (amta) reports that music therapy programs can be designed to achieve goals such as managing stress, enhancing memory, and alleviating pain. as surprising as it may seem, research has shown a clear link. a 2015 review in the lancet, an online medical health journal, found that people who listened to music before, during, or after surgery experienced less pain and anxiety, compared to patients who did not listen to music. the listeners didn’t even need pain medication! after reviewing 25 trials, it was concluded that music is a valid form of therapy to potentially treat depression and anxiety and could also be used for neurological disorders such as parkinson’s disease, stroke, dementia, and multiple sclerosis. 

music is something i have now realised i’ve taken for granted on the most extreme level possible. a true art form and a force to be reckoned with, it can bind people together in a way that nothing else can. as friedrich nietzsche said, “…without music, life would be an error.“

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the best albums of 2018 so far

already in the first half of 2018, we’ve heard some of the best music that’ll be released this year. here, i list some of my favourite albums from this year so far in no particular order!

isolation by kali uchis

to have an album with so many songs on it, yet have them all flow consistently with distorted bliss throughout is such a marvel and truly one of a kind. taking inspirations from reggae, r&b amongst other genres and infusing it with pop takes uchis’ as a force to be reckoned with. other extremely talented artists such as newcomer jorja smith and renowned rapper tyler, the creator feature and make this album such a statement. 'isolation’ has proved to critics and listeners worldwide that uchis is not one to mess with and has definitely made her mark on 2018.

staying at tamara’s by george ezra

ezra’s 2014 release ‘wanted on voyage’ was one of my favourite albums for the longest time. after listening to ‘staying at tamara’s’, i am beyond ecstatic that it took 4 years for a second release, despite my initial impatience. every song shows its own charm and vibrancy. he is so much more than just another guy who is able to strum more than your typical chord progression; his bassy voice feels like home complimenting songs that are just SO feel-good, this album will definitely contribute to my summer soundtrack of this year.

love is dead by chvrches

lead singer lauren mayberry may believe that love is dead, but my love for this band will never, ever die. cynicism and pessimism blazes throughout this album but the band stay true to their synth-pop roots. i personally dislike when artists stay closed in on one genre, but this is where chvrches truly excel. an edgier feeling is hidden under a shimmering yet vulnerable exterior and i certainly was not disappointed with this release, even considering how much i adore their previous releases.

so sad so sexy by lykke li

‘sad pop’ is probably one of my favourite genres and lykke li makes the sound of heartbreak so sweet, it makes a confectioner jealous. melancholia radiates from this album, but it isn’t all disheartening. tracks such as ‘sex money feelings die’ and ‘deep end’ take inspiration from r&b infused with electronic manipulation which accompanies delicate vocals so well. lana del rey may have a competitor to see who can evoke summertime sadness more!

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the best songs of 2017

 (this is from something i wrote at the end of 2017/start of 2018, but i still agree with this list 100%!)

2017 was a weird year for music. we had ed sheeran consistently dominating the charts, legends such as chris cornell and chester bennington sadly leaving us, the ‘one love’ concert in manchester held by ariana grande and featuring the likes of coldplay, miley cyrus and justin bieber and much more that is just WAY too much to write about. but something else that 2017 gave us was some amazing music. here, i list 10 of my favourite songs from this year in no particular order!

10 - ivory tower by everything everything

THIS BAND. i’ve already shared my undying love for these guys since my ‘get to heaven’ review, but this album did not disappoint either, especially with the release of ‘ivory tower’. everything is going on in this track, starting with higgs’ vocals accompanied by a bellowing drum which eventually builds up into a beautifully composed mad math-rock mess. with a theme of focusing on internet trolls and the vitriolic ways of many lyrics such as ‘shave my. head and call me monkey; let me see you with the caps lock on’, the awareness that is present in their songs just makes their music that much more enjoyable.

9 - lemon by n.e.r.d & rihanna

if this song somehow became personified and asked me of the most ridiculous request, i’d do it in a heartbeat. starting with the lyric ‘the truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off’ then suddenly introducing a pounding, intense bassline instantly gets you pumped. another song that is politically aware, cathartic and direct lyrics mixed in with lyrics that make it catchy enough to make it a decent hit, the comeback from n.e.r.d brought me one of my favourite songs to date.

8 - need you by allie x and valley girl

a heartwrenching song that was initially a hidden gem to me, allie x’s music is so spectacularly divine to me with such a bittersweet feeling resonating in this song. the synthpop ballad about an emotional aftermath of a breakup focuses on so much attention to detail throughout the entirety of production, and it shows. the acoustic version here is the best example of it, featuring falsettos that butter wouldn’t melt. one of the most undeniably talented people on this list, with a song from an album that is just as beautiful.

7 - idle worship by paramore

no one seemed to like ‘after laughter’ as much as i did, with the album being the ultimate soundtrack to my summer. ‘idle worship’ stuck out the most to me since my favourite kind of songs harbour sad lyrics hiding behind a happier sounding exterior. the inspiration taken from 80s’ pop and rock paid off, breaking through their previous labels of immaturity and somehow pulls off cynicism in a wonderful, crazy way. hayley williams still sounds as beautiful as ever. even if the old paramore is dead, this is clearly where they excel but have fun at the same time.

6 - all i can think about is you by coldplay

you’d think coldplay would’ve stopped by now with what seemed like an endless world tour for ‘a head full of dreams’ but they graced fans with their ep, ‘kaleidoscope’. with a slight comeback to their older sound, the band stay simple yet true to themselves in a classic love-drunk haze. the song truly feels like a dream; celestial, ethereal. it’s been dubbed as. one of the best things coldplay has released for years, which i certainly can’t disagree with.

5 - don’t delete the kisses by wolf alice

this is definitely a song where you could probably base a whole major motion picture around it. an extremely accurate representation of falling in love, it shows naivety, hope and vulnerability in the mostly spoken song. the amount of emotion felt is overwhelming with lyrics such as ‘i look at your picture and i smile, how awful is that? i’m like a teenage girl, i might as well write all over my notebook that you rock my world’. the song is just utterly incredible, the band tested the waters with something new and it works so well. so atmospheric and dreamy, listening to a song that’s viewing the world in rose-coloured glasses isn’t so bad.

4 - saw you in a dream by the japanese house

an absolutely stunning track from a stunning individual. named a heartbreak track by amber bain, the song filled with self doubt in the lyrics takes you into a different dimension. it stays gorgeous throughout, graceful and dainty with layered vocals, a synth-pop inspired instrumental and a vibe that makes you feel like you’re floating through a musical heaven. 

3 - not my baby by alvvays

a true middle finger to the ideals of ‘love conquers all’ and how relationships are made out to be a must to be truly happy, this song comes as a breath of fresh air. this self empowering song about picking up the pieces after a breakup features absolutely enchanting vocals, with lyrics such as ‘i feel alive for the first time since i don’t know how long’. just like ‘don’t delete the kisses’, this song paints a picture in your mind which seems stricken with grief. another heartbreaking song, yet filled with wit and a dreamy feeling.

2 - supercut by lorde

lorde has done it again and impressed everyone who listened to ‘melodrama’ with songs bursting with nostalgia. personally, i dub this the ‘ribs’ of that album, which is a song that resonated with so many. however, in ‘supercut’, the chaos that is presented to us looking through a relationship through rose-coloured glasses universally connects to listeners. there’s something so special about lorde; she somehow manages to reveal so many hidden feelings that we refuse to let ring true, yet makes it sound so deliciously tragic. heartbreak never sounded so good.

before we get to the number one song, here are some honourable mentions!

humble. by kendrick lamar passionfruit by drake anyone else by pvris pills by st. vincent homesick by dua lipa ubu by methyl ethyl creature comfort by arcade fire a young understanding by sundara karma

and now, number one!

1 - she’s my collar by gorillaz

when ‘humanz’ first released, i hated this song. i didn’t get it; there was so much going on that just didn’t sound good to me, as if damon albarn decided to throw things in that weren’t needed and said ‘yep, that’ll do.’ but months later, i decided to give it another listen and i ADORE this song. the song was mostly constructed on an ipad and features vocals from kali uchis, who i’m sure will dominate the charts in 2018. this song is my personal collar; so sexy but bittersweet and follows no rules. it shocks me how no one ever really talks about this song, the hauntingly somber aura radiating from this song somehow gets my head bopping and my feet tapping up until the end. the instrumentation is so complimenting to everything else that’s going on and is just such a good listen. there’s nothing much else to say, otherwise i’ll be gushing about this track for ages!

[amylistens-blog]

all the things i never said - pale waves (review)

the wonderfully refreshing modern twist on 80s bubblegum pop is brought back by the mancunian band pale waves, formed in 2014. with this being their debut ep released on february 2018, the group make heartbreak sound so amazingly beautiful, releasing four of what i believe are some of their strongest tracks to date.

the ep is kicked off with ‘new year’s eve’, which is a track i adored even before the release of the ep, being released as the first single from the record. instantly, an echoey voice that honestly came from the angels is heard not long before a poppy instrumentation is introduced. a yearning chorus is repeated throughout; ‘i don’t want to be alone on new year’s eve, do you even wanna be with me?’, making heartbreak sound so sugary sweet. it oozes melancholy from the get go and pale waves encapsulate it so marvellously.

‘the tide’ then begins with some of the grooviest and slickest guitars i’ve heard, and from the lyrics, seems very inspired by the 1975; ‘you look so cool standing there, with your baggy jeans and silky hair’. however, the band have worked with matty healy (lead singer of the 1975) before, so this doesn’t surprise me. this track shows off their potential to become a household name, with the engaging vocals that i can’t get enough of, incorporating some harmless, synth-pop fun as well.

‘my obsession’ is an extremely romantic heartbreak song, bellowing the lyric ‘you’re such a mess but you’re always beautiful to me’. this song made my hairs stand on end when i first heard it, knowing it’s a track that so many people could resonate with, knowing the pain of letting go of someone you adore. the pain is definitely heard in lead singer baron-gracie’s voice. every part of this song is perfect to me, the instrumentation compliments the vocals perfectly without it seeming overwhelming and would definitely leave listeners begging for more.

the final track, ‘heavenly’ is boisterous with eclectic bass lines and a drum you can’t help but clap along to. echoey harmonies accompanying the already hauntingly gorgeous vocals, the newest track from the album to have a music video released for it has stolen my heart. the song encapsulates young love so well, ‘this night is so electric and i won’t forget it, you’re so heavenly but don’t you know it baby?’ an excellent end to a brilliant ep.

i will be astonished if pale waves aren’t being played on radio stations across the uk by the end of this year; these guys are an absolute breath of fresh air to listen to and are able to pull off the sickly sweet 80s pop vibe so well.

[amylistens-blog]

get to heaven - everything everything (review)

how can you explain a band like everything everything? words as descriptive as diverse, eclectic, spontaneous seem insulting when comparing it to a band as unique as this quartet from manchester, england. throughout the years since their formation in 2007, their critically acclaimed albums surprise audiences every time, somehow reaching new levels of distinctiveness with a touch of flair. admittedly, they are not for everyone, with a wide range of falsettos, disruptions and experimental styles, but for that, i can only personally praise. i saw these guys earlier this month, and they put on a show indeed. i thought my first review would be one of my favourite albums of all time to celebrate!

get to heaven is everything everything’s third studio album, released in 2015 and arguably their most loved album yet. an album which seems like an ode to the self destruction of mankind, solemn vocals are present straight away on the first track, ‘to the blade’, the instrumentation stays calm until blaring drums kick in about a minute into the track. with groovy guitars, eerie harmonies and bass lines added, the verses and chorus flows perfectly and sets the record up for a great start. 

‘distant past’ was the first & lead single from this record, and the second track. with unconventional lyrics and voice distortions, this single was definitely recognisable from the very first listen, featuring as zane lowe’s hottest record and radio 1′s hottest track of the day at time of release. the verses are choppy and kicky, yet the chorus somehow so simply sets the song aside from the others on this album. a true toe tapper and definitely a song to show others if you want them to get into everything everything.

the titular track, ‘get to heaven’, almost instantly introduces a catchy drum and one of the best bass lines i’ve heard in a song. the amount of instruments used in this song is insanely overwhelming, but done excellently so the listener can appreciate every single one of them. the vocal range is so effortlessly smooth from lead singer higgs and does an amazing job at showing what the band can do.

‘regret’, the second singl from the album, now shows a more melancholy side of the album, despite the happy sounding nature of the song. with the words ‘regret, regret’ being repeated over a blaring drum, the song instantly sticks. this definitely shows a more vulnerable side and the band do it well and is one of the more lyrically rich tracks on the record. this track was annie mac’s hottest record at the time of release additionally. how a sad song can also provide such eccentricity is beyond me, but this track is, in all regards, absolutely perfect to me. again, the instrumentation is all so beautifully constructed together and is definitely a favourite.

now, my all time favourite song from get to heaven, ‘spring / sun / winter / dread’. the third and final single from this album, the track carries on the melancholy yet europhic sound that the band capture so well. this song was like my personal cocaine for a long time and even to this day, i am still completely obsessed. another lyrically rich track, repeating ‘i don’t want to get older’, a phrase that many people around the world would resonate with. the track builds up slowly over the time played, with the finishing verse starting with guitars and drums, then bass kicking in and finally the most amazingly breathtaking guitar riff to kick off such a wonderfully fantastic track. 

‘the wheel (is turning now)’ welcomes us with haunting harmonies, not long before bold drums start to play. the narratives throughout this record stay persistent, but are particularly strong on this track. the rhetoric ‘do you want to know how far you’ve come? do you have any idea?’ repeats at the end of the song, making the track extremely atmospheric as it becomes more tenacious along with the instrumentation, becoming somewhat of a ‘nice disaster’ to listen to. the chilling vocals get me every time and is definitely more thought provoking, following themes of doubt within british politics.

‘fortune 500′, although my least favorite on this album, experiments with heavy synths, resoluted drums and echoey vocals to make it one of the more mysterious tracks on the record. with ‘i’ve won, they’ve told me that i’ve won’ referencing to the selfishness behind murder motivations is so magnificently chilling and, just like ‘the wheel’, becomes a ‘nice disaster’ to listen to with some of the most thought-provoking lyrics on the album.

the much more upbeat ‘blast doors’ confronts the listener with a beautiful hyperactivity of synths and guitars while brimming with lyrical genius. lead singer higgs admits he dealt with depression when writing and recording this album, and the track shows as it comes across as an angry rant towards himself; ‘you say you’re going to change but you don’t have any time’. this, much like ‘regret’ and ‘spring / sun / winter / dread’, would definitely be a song many would relate to. with slick raps being spitted in the verses contrasted with a debonair falsetto in the chorus, the song is all brought together with thrilling lyrics.

‘zero pharoah’ deals with political brainwashing, featuring lyrics such as ‘why don’t you think for yourself?’ accompanied with the famous falsettos and another groovy guitar riff. the end is definitely the stronger point of the song, constantly repeating the violent ‘give me the gun’ and slowly building up before ending with the calm riff. everything is encapsulated so perfectly in this track, nothing is overdone yet leaves you stunned by the end of listening. 

‘no reptiles’ focuses on feeling isolate from society, introducing us with the bold drums that are heard consistently on this record. with the verses being extremely snappy, the chorus challenges the listener with conformation; ‘just soft boiled eggs in shirts and ties waiting for the flashing green man’. more unconventional lyrics are heard but portrayed with such innovation, it doesn’t sound weird even upon first listening. the third verse is where the song really shines, with some of the most gorgeous and exquisite vocals that leave you stunned after the song ends. this song was also pretty awesome live. despite the theme of isolation throughout, this song made me feel connected and at home with everyone else in the room.

the final track, ‘warm healer’ starts with a polished bass riff and fights with itself to be calm, yet dancey. however, the best part about this song is the finishing line which closes the album, ‘what’s all that young life been wasted on?’. this recalls concern from previous tracks ‘spring / sun / winter / dread’ and ‘blast doors’ about the passing of time and fear of oblivion. it’s a much more relaxed, yet frightening way of saying ‘how have you spent your time on this planet?’. the synths, partnered with nifty drums, are prevalent as ever to finish off a superb album.

‘get to heaven’ is an album that you simply cannot listen to just once. with a manifold of thought-provoking themes, subliminally idiosyncratic instrumentations and the ever so breathtaking vocals staying consistent throughout, this will definitely stay as one of my favourite albums of all time and will be preeeetty hard to knock off my list!

[amylistens-blog]

hello!

i’m Amy and this will be a blog to track my music listening, specifically with album and track reviews. this will range from new to old music and will be updated whenever i get a free moment. since i found out last year i spent over a third of it listening to music, i’m a bit of a veteran, as some would say!

hoping you stick around for this wonderfully musical journey!