amy494walker

[amy494walker]

TW: Talk of suicide

I'm sorry. I've been away for a while and ... not all of it was because I didn't have a computer. Truth is, the family have had one for a almost two months now. It's just that I've been working full time as well as part time and attending evening college courses so I'm almost never home. Which is of course the point. I am earning enough money to consider moving out in under a year but I doubt that will happen because my mom still needs the money I give her to live here. I constantly have panic attacks now and I tried to kill myself a few months ago, took a whole bunch of pills and passed out. My sister woke me up and said my lips were blue but she didn't know and I haven't told anyone. I just can't handle dealing with anything so I haven't been, I've just been working my dull, repetitive jobs, focusing on my English lit course and reading fanfics. So yeah, that's what I've been doing for the last two months during the hour or so I get online after everyone's gone to bed. I read fanfics and ignore my friends because I'm a terrible person who's too messed up and ashamed of her life to be herself amongst the people who know her, hides away because it's easier to ignore things than deal with them or bother trying to be a decent person. I understand if you hate me, and until I get a computer of my own I'm not going to be around much anyway so I'm thinking of just deleting this blog and giving up. I don't see the point in it anymore. In much of anything actually. I know it seems callous to my friends here, but I don't deserve you anyway so... Well, I only worked up the courage to post this because I was exhausted so I'm gonna go to sleep. I won't be around until at least tomorrow. I'm sorry again.

[amy494walker]

Well, after MONTHS of trying to reblog/queue posts via my sisters phone (and failling horribly) and waiting for the library to open again, I've finally decided to give up saving for something good and oder a crappy little netbook. I'll order it in about two weeks after my next pay check and then a few days after, when it's delivered, I'll be back in business. Well, I'm at work now - in the middle of a freaking blizzard so I'm gonna have to walk home >:( - so I can't stick around but I miss you all and hello to all the inexplicable new followers I've somehow managed to gain :D

[amy494walker]

Wow! It's been a while.

Hi guys. I'm so sorry I've been gone so long, even more sorry that I'm not sure when I'll be back. Thing is, I was working full time for a while – trying to save up money to buy my own computer – when my mother decided to scrap the one we had because, and I quote, “You're never on it anyway.” ~fumes~ Worse part is, all of my WiP's were on there and I don't have back ups. Every single fanfic and graphic I had saved half/almost finished is gone forever and I kinda of want to smash something expensive when I think about it because I struggle sooo much to write sometimes and it's all just freaking gone!

Ugh.

And to make matters worse, I switched jobs not long after and now I work in a shop where I don't even have access to the computer. So, while I'm not even close to being able to aford a computer yet – I had waay more debt built up than I thought – I did manage to scavange enough money to repay my debt to the library – where I am now – so I'll be able to use my library card to score time on the comps here to check in at least once a week!

I've been able to take a peek at the first page of certain blogs every now and then with my sisters phone but not only do I only get to peek while she's busy – she has the damn thing with her all. The. Time and refuses to let people use it. - but I couldn't figure out how to post or message or even change the page or anything (I dread to think how many emails I have at this point D:)

I didn't plan on coming to the library today though so I'm gonna miss my bus if I stay on tumblr long enough to talk/catch up/stock my queue but I'll be able to next time because I'll plan ahead ^.^ Just deleting my other two, admitedly unused, blogs to ease the number of things I have to check on and writing this <3

But seriously, you have no idea how much I miss you and tumblr and computers and omg it feels soooooooo freaking good to be on a computer again XD

Oh! And happy new year ^.^

[amy494walker]

3/5 Less Than Perfect

[amy494walker]

“I wanna be the reason for that smile on your face.”

[amy494walker]

Sara Rue

[amy494walker]

I’ve had a crush on this man since he was Kipp for Less Than Perfect. 

[amy494walker]

Клава давай!

[amy494walker]

robert downey jr’s face was meant to be on cats okay

[amy494walker]

Can We just imagine JARVIS Meeting Captain America And Thor?

Tony: So anyway I was thinking, Jesus where did I put that scotch?

Jarvis: The Drink you desire, sir, is two feet to your left beneath the paper.

Steve: OHCHRIST! Is that god?

Thor: AllFather? Is that you?

Tony: Guys-

Steve: IS GOD FROM ENGLAND?

Thor: What is this sorcery?! LOKI!

Steve: WHY IS GOD FROM ENGLAND?

[amy494walker]

[amy494walker]

[amy494walker]

can we please just take a moment to close our eyes and imagine how insanely hilarious and refreshing a public debate between tony stark and romney would be

[amy494walker]

Joss Whedon’s Avengers commentary

[amy494walker]

[amy494walker]

Howard Stark was a worse father than Odin. Pass it on.

I see your Odin and Howard Stark…

And raise you one Brian Banner.

[amy494walker]

Tom Hiddleston stares at your soul, Masterpost, Part I