amisauruswrecks

[amisauruswrecks]

transformers is funny because it seems to be a simple niche interest but in reality its like if your hot wheels came with greek mythology

[amisauruswrecks]

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

[amisauruswrecks]

[amisauruswrecks]

People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.

An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.

Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.

It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…

It’s an ant again.

Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.

This is madness.

[amisauruswrecks]

Guys, this had to have happened. It had to.

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Saw this at the store today.

[amisauruswrecks]

— Jenny Slate, from Little Weirds

[amisauruswrecks]

The most disrespectful thing you can do is not buying yourself the King Size pack.

me

[amisauruswrecks]

me if i was a mutant, every time professor x stops me from killing a bigot because of his dumb liberal agenda:

[amisauruswrecks]

[amisauruswrecks]

Millennial Job Search Gothic

you have an interview next week. you always have an interview next week. The managers who interview you all seem to share the same pleasant, blank face. They promise to call you back in a few days. They never do.

they say the minimum wage is going up soon. 

you must have two years of experience. you must have five years of experience. you must have ten years of experience. experience in what, exactly? the job requirements bleed into an ancient latin text as you attempt to decipher them. 

the people in the photos in the craigslist ads smile eerily at you. their eyes seem to follow you around the room even after you click away from the job posting.

do not apply in person, the posting says. do not send in your resume. do not apply. we’ve lost too many employees to the creature as is.

you plan on leaving your job soon. you’ve been planning on leaving your job soon for months. you keep making excuses as to why you haven’t left your job yet, but you know deep down that even if you put in your two weeks tomorrow, you wouldn’t leave the company as the same person you were when you applied. if they let you leave alive at all.

you seem to see “help wanted” signs everywhere. when you enter and inquire about them, the employees wave you away. you hear their cries for help again as you leave.

you are more than qualified for the job that you are applying to. you are over-qualified for the job you are applying to.

you do not get the job.

[amisauruswrecks]

There is nothing heroic about this. These officers were working on a holiday. That barista had ABSOLUTELY no right to pass judgement on someone she didn't know. Furthermore she was fired for her actions. Fully deserved.

[amisauruswrecks]

My favourite thing about Zuko joining the Gaang is how seamlessly he assumes the position of:

sleep-deprived

over-aggravated

strict 

parent,  forced to play bad cop, to keep the children on task.

And my absolute favourite (without missing a beat):

Which is a pretty accurate approximation of daily conversations with a toddler.

[amisauruswrecks]

i am too lazy to look in to the science of this

[amisauruswrecks]

[amisauruswrecks]

Excuse-You had me at the words "quantum stealth".

⚡Step aside Harry Pottery there is another Invisibility Cloak on the scene and this time it’s available to Muggles.

No longer just a fictional device but a real world invention that hides a person in plain sight.

[amisauruswrecks]

guess who finished that entire fucking beatmap of the whole shrek movie on their first try