♉️ • enfj • queer • 18 • writer • chemistry and biochemistry major• 🇿🇦
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nothing compares to the happiness I feel when I remember that I still have tea in my cup
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it's crazy how they only noticed my sh when I showed it to them by mistake.
it was summer
I had to wear sleeveless shirts.
the most I did was turn my wrists when they came near.
I got a paper cut in front of my mum and she saw and her eyes traveled up my arm from my fingers and saw my scars.
it had been 3 years by then. that was my 17th attempt to stop. that's why there were scars and not wounds.
the attempt didn't take. the method changed. they watched me for a few weeks and diligently checked my arms in that time.
all great, but they didn't think much of the burn from the stove, the careless cut from shaving, the blood from a broken glass in the sink, the scrape from rubbing against the wall or the stab from the compass that "fell" and so much more.
I'm much better now but...
I had to make my pain completely transparent before they noticed. I think about this way more than I'd care admit.
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I can't put my 7 year old brothers on suicide watch. that's not fair to them.
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just realized that I've been subconsciously putting my mum on suicide watch for years and it stopped the day she saw me crying in the dark in my room and just said good night and left...
what do I do now? I've been more or less okay since the but what happens when I get bad and no one's there? my best friend lives a half hour away and another lives 15 min away but he knows nothing about my mental shit. I can't tell him because whenever I open up I fall into *the pit* and I can't afford to fall into that right now.
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do you ever feel so strongly about someone that it's almost like your heart is about to explode?
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me every three seconds when i'm not in the mood for studying:
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what is your self-love language?
#thoughts on life#life#questions#self love#love language#love quotes#alonetime#who are you when you're alone
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it feels so weird to not have a crush... like what am I supposed to fantasize about now? not but really... I haven't even been able to muster up emotions for my celeb crushes. what's going on???? am I ok????
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I think my parents lives would have been better if they didn't have me. I think they would have broken up like couples usually do after high school. my dad probably would have went to study at some point and became a successful business man. I think my mum would have fallen deeply in love with someone that truly appreciates her intelligence, she probably would have went to study, traveled a bit, then got a job at a good company that paid her enough for her and her love to travel. I truly wish that in some other universe this is their lives and that they're happy.
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“The one thing you can change is how you treat yourself. And that one thing can change everything.”
— Unknown
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manifesting this kind of energy for 2023.
May you attract a divine partner that is as loving, deep, passionate, sexual, soulful and spiritual as you. Someone who is intimate, open, and vulnerable with you in every sense. Someone who is so perfectly aligned and compatible with you, it's like you both manifested each other
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someone develop a deeply fucked up psychosexual obsession with me rn or i am going to commit a horrible crime.
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so there's this guy that used to like me but that obviously didn't work out since I'm a lesbian or whatever. anyway, recently we've been hanging out and one day we saw this girl and I was " wow, she's beautiful" and then he goes "yeah, you're right she's hot" and then we started talking about how we liked her style and all that and now it's like 5 days later and I'm just realizing that we have the same type... but he liked me... I'm his type... I'm??? my???own??? type??? am I really that conceited that I like people that are like me???
#sapphism#wlw mood#wlw post#wlw memes#wlw message me#guy friends#realizations#funny content#funny post#queer humor
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I knew! I fucking knew from the moment you didnt meet my eyes after we kissed... I saw the signs. they read " she's falling out of love!!" in big, bold, red, capital letters. but I closed my eyes and let you drive aimlessly while I sat in the back seat. I knew that you were pretending, faking your heart eyes whenever you caught mine... but I loved you so much. so much. so I let you pretend.
-mars
#poetry#sapphism#wlw mood#wlw post#life#thoughts on life#love poem#my writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr
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I'm afraid of conflict, even in movies and books, when they reach climax I have to put put tye movie on pause or put tye book down and prepare myself. maybe it's just my taurisian fear of change or my stupid anxiety. idk.
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they hate me for protecting my peace instead of their rage.
-mars
#peace and security#life#my writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#poetry#poem#rupi kaur#female writers#poc writer#poc women#poc wlw#hurt/comfort#self healing#calmness#maturity
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loneliness is cured in solitude.
-mars
#poetry#thoughts on life#my writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#life#loneliest#healing#focus on yourself#solitute#live happily#peace and security#protect your energy#self improvement#self worth#self love#self ship#womenempowerment#feminism#self healing
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