28, F I S H M A N, AZ. Untrusting of left-handed women. Women hate-follow me. Helen Keller Denier. NOT BALD!!! PROFESSIONAL white knight. Californians and New Yorkers DNI. I will use my eventual degree in physics to prove that the Earth is flat. Basically an NHL scout. I am the next Fergie. Oppressor of the Shorts (men under 6'1" and women under 5'6" DNI). Anti-cheesecake. ALL SIX FOOT THREE INCHES OF SOLIDIFIED SEXY. Currently on the hunt for the Scroll of Napoleon to turn anyone into a white manlet for the rest of their days. I will wed Carrie Underwood and anyone who reads this is an accomplice.
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recently we were out on a hilltop taking photos of the comet and suddenly some car's headlights blind us from across the bay. literally four miles away.
who the fuck is out here with these nuclear fusion powered headlights. who puts naval searchlights on their fucking toyota tacoma.
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Also if you regularly work with kids/teens I cannot stress how important it is that you know someone who's like really into lame emo junk. There was a girl my dad was working with who just flat out refused to talk to adults or anyone at all and one day I was there and I saw her wearing a homemade bracelet that had beads that said YLDNDAHFHHACYCSYCDAYDKK and since I was also once a 14 year old making niche homemade mcr merch I was like "oh my god you like dnd Audrey Hepburn Fangoria Harry Houdini and croquet you cant swim you can't dance and you dont know karate!!!" and she looked at me like I'd said literal magic words and now we talk about music all the time
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Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.
Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.
Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.
Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.
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if somone made pixel art of mulch id be very happy boy
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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
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My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.
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rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks
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