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Doctor: What do you see in this X-ray?

Students: *collective gasp*

Doctor: Please don’t do that in front of patients.

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After a grumpy internal argument with an article manifesting "damned lies and statistics" last night, I'd just like to say: here's a wave to the 50%+ of Millennial and Gen-Z and whatever the fuck is after that at this point (Gen Alpha? Can we just stop with this? I can't keep track) men, young and less so, who are just as non-rightwing-asshole, "progressive is pretty good actually, no it's not immigration's fault" etc as their female counterparts.

I know it probably feels like life is entirely a case of being yelled at by the manosphere on one side and yelled at for not being perfect on the other; and it's kind of like an entire life of the kind of thing that also happens with the kid that gets good grades and doesn't light shit on fire, so nobody ever thinks they might be dealing with some shit. And the world is scary and a never-ending slough of not knowing whose expectations are the right ones to live up to.

The thing is, being human is fucking hard, being a decent human is always going to be even harder, and every time I see something going "omg FORTY TWO PERCENT of young men believe [some horrific thing]" I always kinda want to point out that this means that fifty eight don't.

So heya to that 50+ percent. Here's a tired wave. It's been a fuck of a year so far hasn't it? Jesus. Here's some coffee, god knows I need it. This being human shit is so fucking hard.

(And for the guys older than me who are also in this boat with us, because the percentages get fuzzier and my head hurts this morning so fuck it: hey, nice to see you too, there's free advil by the coffee.)

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"I don't want to read this" is totally valid.

"This is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

"I don't want to read this because it is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

"I don't think anyone should be allowed to read or write this because it is disgusting to me" is authoritarian.

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"Two researchers in the US and Australia have discovered important mechanisms that prevent B cells from attacking the body’s own tissues in autoimmune diseases like arthritis, lupus, and multiple sclerosis—and in the process have won a prestigious prize.

Normally, the body’s immune system protects us from viruses, bacteria, and foreign substances. However, in autoimmune diseases, the immune system starts attacking tissues in the body instead.

Researchers had long tried to discover the cause of autoimmune diseases. But, Christopher Goodnow and David Nemazee, independently of each other, adopted a new approach.

They asked why we do not all develop these diseases. Their focus was on B cells which, together with white blood cells and T cells, are the building blocks of our complex immune system.

“They have given us a new and detailed understanding of the mechanisms that normally prevent faulty B cells from attacking tissues in the body, explaining why most of us are not affected by autoimmune diseases,” says Olle Kämpe, member of the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences and chair of the Crafoord Prize committee that awarded the pair 6 million Swedish kronor ($600,000).

Neutralize B cells

In recent years, physicians have started to experiment by using existing drugs to neutralize B cells for patients with severe autoimmune diseases, including lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and multiple sclerosis, which has proven to be very effective at improving their quality of life.

Thanks to this year’s Crafoord Prize Laureates, we have gained fundamental new knowledge about what is happening in the immune system during autoimmune disease attacks.

“This also paves the way for development of new forms of therapies that eventually can cure these diseases—or might prevent them in the future,” said one professor of clinical immunology at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences...

More details from the video, since the article glosses over the particulars:

"The laureates discovered what is now called B cell tolerance.

When B cells develop in the bone marrow, not all of them are perfect. To remove the faulty ones, a mechanism starts, in which defective cells are programmed to destroy themself through apoptosis.

The laureates discovered two new mechanisms that are used if some of the bad cells are left. Re-editing, where the immune system alters the combination of receptors, and anergy, that silences B cells with self-reactive receptors.

The laureates were able to demonstrate that these mechanisms sometimes fail. This means that faulty B cells can cause an attack on the body's own tissues – leading to autoimmune diseases.

Thanks to the laureate’s discoveries, doctors like Anders Bengtsson soon felt able to start treating patients with lupus, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, and many other autoimmune diseases, with medicines that eradicated B cells.

Anders Bengtsson: "I'm very happy that B cells has gotten so much attention because of the laureates. I have seen my patients getting so much better and getting a better life."

Autoimmune patient: "Today, I feel very good. I really have hope in the research that it will revolutionise things and perhaps even cure it all. That’s what I want, hope for, and believe in.""

-Article via Good News Network, April 6, 2025. Video via The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences, January 29, 2025.

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"I'm not skilled at gardening and i don't have the time/energy to learn, but i really want a pretty garden, so i hired a gardener"

That makes a lot of sense, it's nice to experience that beauty!

"I love writing music, and I can play a few instruments, but my playing skills don't cover the breadth or depth of what I want my songs to sound like, and none of my usual partners were available for recording this month, so I hired someone who's good on sax and another musician who plays an upright bass to help me record my new stuff, and they added a lot of depth to the experience!"

Good call, when you really want the right sound right now it makes sense to bring in people who are available and talented!

"I'm a decent cook and my friends love the food i make, but sometimes I enjoy a really high-quality meal in a carefully curated atmosphere or i don't want to do dishes, so i go to a restaurant and pay a chef and cooks and waitstaff and dish washers to make me a fantastic meal in a nice setting without any of the chores."

Of course, we all love a good time without the usual work sometimes!

"I love music and I play the piano really well, but sometimes I want to hear it played by someone who's really dedicated their career to it, or who plays in a style I'm not experienced with, so I go to a concert and pay a musician for their music, or I buy their albums so I can listen to it at home."

Yes, getting to experience an expert in their craft is a real treat!

"I've been way too busy to take care of myself or my living space lately and it's been taking a toll on my mental health, so i hired someone to help me tidy up this week and then went to a salon to get spiffed up so I could feel better about myself, and i paid those professionals for their work and education and experience and skill."

Good on you, self care is so important!

"I'm not very experienced with sex and and would like someone else to show me what it can feel like, or I want to enjoy sex at a time when I don't have anyone available, or I enjoy sex and am pretty good at it but I want to experience it a dedicated atmosphere with someone who takes it seriously, or I want to see what all is possible when someone is really an expert at it and treats it like a set of skills they've spent a long time working to master, or sex makes me feel good and i could really use that good experience in my life right now, so I paid a sex worker to help me achieve that goal."

...

If you think the last one is somehow fundamentally different from the others, that hiring a professional to provide a service that you want or need for any reason is suddenly immoral because it involves sex, you should probably reflect on why. Because really, at the end of the day, it's not.

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[AdventurersWiki, WorldTavern chatroom, 32nd century, year of the crystal choir, in the month of ambush, 20th night; a Thursday]

ShadowMage69: So ... is the world saved or what?

0verWitch: Looking at the feedback surveys, I'd say the world is 72% saved.

ShadowMage69: 72%? What does that mean?

Living!Sword: Aggregate saved level. Based on level of specific active threats & ambient injustice. An imperfect measure, but we like the numbers.

0verWitch: Gotta get a good grade in Hero.

RangerInShadow: if you consider a b- a good grade ;)

0verWitch: Average saved % across a ten-year window is 60.3%. This is a good day.

ShadowMage69: Sry, I'm new to this. We beat the Prime Witch, right? How is the world not saved?

RangerInShadow: World don't stay saved, newbie.

0verWitch: The expose on Prime Minister Matthews (aka Prime Witch) and his subsequent deposing resulted in a 12% bump. Possibly rising to 15% based on resolution of subsequent power vacuum.

ShadowMage69: 12%??? He wanted to eat the soul of the dark web, ascend to godhood and put chains around the sun. That's a world-ending threat! I had to teleport his Lich President into the Mariana Trench! :p

0verWitch: That was one of three (3) reported solar-scale threats curtailed this month. Albeit, the most advanced and high profile. 12% is significant on a worldwide scale.

Living!Sword: & it represents a lot of lives saved. A lot of lives improved. That is a win that cannot be measured on our limited metrics. Please see the 'Flowers & SwtNothings' subchat for a plethora of qualitative testimonials.

['ExclamationMarkSeraph' has entered the chat]

ExclamationMarkSeraph: Apols for interrupt, chummers. Got a quest hook. Neighbourhood-level, but high urgency. Family on wrong side of local town militia.

0verWitch: What's the high urgency hook?

ExclamationMarkSeraph: Family member is a nascent City Avatar (name translates as 'Spires That Snatch The Sunlight'). High potential for divine escalation. Needs a mentor profile.

RangerInShadow: I gotcha, bud. Sliding into your DMs.

['RangerInShadow' has left the chat.'ExclamationMarkSeraph' has left the chat.]

ShadowMage69: Huh. 'World don't stay saved'.

0verWitch: Some days it stays 72% saved :)

Living!Sword: I have seen worlds that stay saved. There are no mortal beings who live in them. We accept a world that is 'saved enough'.

0verWitch: A solid B Minus world.

Living!Sword: A world that is fine, thanks.

ShadowMage69: A 'cromulent' world.

0verWitch: Cromulent?

ShadowMage69: s'on my daily word calendar. Means, 'acceptable, satisfactory, or valid', but in like ... a [jester-face emoji] way.

Living!Sword: What do you think, 0W? Is the world cromulent?

0verWitch: Maybe cromulish.

Living!Sword: It is not so much cromu-lent, as cromu-borrowed.

0verWitch: I don't plan to return it.

ShadowMage69: cromu-stolen, then?

Living!Sword: That is indeed the job. To heist an acceptable world. Stealing dawn from uncertain dusk.

0verWitch: That's why we need the wiki, after all. It takes a village (sic: world) to raise a tomorrow.

---

With thanks to Ku for suggesting the word "cromulent".

A challenging word to pun! There is an alternate draft about a wizard called CROM who ran a loan shark business (CROM, you lent...).

Want to suggest words/puns to feature in my stories? Become a supporter on Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories

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Once, there was a Japanese monk who had a little personal superstition.

Every time he travelled to a new location, he’d find some wood that grew there and make it into a staff to defend himself from any bandits or ne'er-do-wells who attacked him.

He was convinced that the staff, being more in tune with his surroundings, would serve him better in a fight. One day, he explained this to a scholarly friend, who decided to do some investigating.

The scholar started swapping the monk’s staves while he was asleep. Some days, the monk would be using a staff he thought was from where he was, but wasn’t; some days he’d believe it was from elsewhere, when in fact it was the correct staff for where he was; and some days belief and truth would match.

Interestingly, the scholar discovered that it was the monk's belief that mattered - whichever staff he was using, if he thought it matched his surroundings he’d do a little better, and if he thought it didn’t he’d do a little worse.

Of course, since then there have been many more rigorous studies, but that scholar’s treatise remains one of the most important works in shaping human understanding of the place-bo effect.

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Cosmere Characters Play D&D

As requested by @cool-original-username :)

Somehow, Dungeons & Dragons, the role-playing game, has arrived in the Cosmere, and now everyone is playing it. What would that be like?

1. Kaladin: Has THE most ridiculous good luck with dice

DM: Okay, Kaladin. You're up. You're the only member of your party still conscious, and you only have 3 hit points left. DM: Lord Evil is about to activate the doomsday device that will level the capital city. Your weapon is broken, and you're barely conscious. What will you do? Kaladin: ...I want to pick up a rock and throw it into the gears of the machine. DM: ...The machine that is 60 feet away from you with a fist-sized opening? Kaladin: Yes. DM: Well...you can roll for it, but...you'll have disadvantage... Kaladin: Nat 20. Twice. DM: A-Again?! I swear you save your Nat 20s for the most dramatic possible moments! Kaladin: Dice love me.

2. Kelsier: Always tries to fast-talk the DM

Kelsier: I would like to pick up the crowbar with my mage hand. DM: Okay... Kelsier: And I would like to drop it on the bandit's head. DM: You can't attack with mage hand. Kelsier: Attacking? I'm not attacking. I'm just dropping something. DM: As an attack. Kelsier: Well, okay. I'll just lift the crowbar high above the bandit's head with my mage hand. That's not an attack. DM: Okay... Kelsier: Then I'm gonna dismiss mage hand. DM: ... Kelsier: What happens to the crowbar? Does it...drop? DM: ... Kelsier: [smiles sweetly]

2. Lift: Needs a DM who likes open world campaigns...or who knows Lift real well

Wyndle, the DM: Excellent job, mistress! You've rescued the prince, and received a Royal Feast as a reward. Wyndle, the DM: What will you do now? Lift: I wanna go to Beach Town. Wyndle: Beach Town, the name I came up with on the fly five sessions ago? Lift: Yeah. Wyndle: The place where that one mean messenger said he was headed next? Lift: The one who kicked that dog, yeah. Wyndle: [grabs a notebook from his box and flips it open] Wyndle: Ready! Lift: ... Lift: You knew? Wyndle: I had a hunch, mistress!

3. Steris: Is a rules lawyer...for good

Steris: As we move through canyon, Lady Stesir will keep track of our progress by sketching a map. DM: Sure! Why don't you roll me an Intelligence check to see how good your mapping is. Steris: Actually, per the Players Handbook pg. 185, no ability check is required for mapping the party's progress through an area. DM: Really? Okay! Steris: [whispering] I got your back, Lady Stesir.

4. Blushweaver: Keeps rolling to seduce everyone

DM: The dragon rears back, preparing to unleash its fiery breath! Blushweaver: I roll to seduce the dragon!! DM: ... DM: Look, dragons are sentient, but they're generally not interested in... Blushweaver: I roll Persuasion with Expertise, add my Proficiency Modifier and my Charisma Modifier, plus my bonuses from Bless and Bardic Inspiration...and I get 32! DM: ... Blushweaver: I'm so excited about my new dragon boyfriend!

5. Shallan: Cares a LOT about character creation

Shallan: [sitting at the table with a full stack of character drawings, having used lightweaving to turn herself into a full-on Orc Barbarian] Adolin: [wearing "a bit of a jaunty hat" for his bard character] Adolin: ...I've never felt underdressed before.

6. Wayne: Loves to role-play

Wayne: And as Lord Bandlebutt falls to his knees in the rain, he thinks back to the last time he saw that flower, when his adoptive fox parents turned back for the last time before disappearing forever into those woods... Wayne: "I should have said something back then," Lord Bandlebutt whispers, "I should have told them some rocks smoothed by the stream wish they could have remained rough." Wayne: "After what happened during the Seven Snake Festival, they would have understood..." DM: [openly weeping] Oh, Lord Bandlebutt! Wayne: [normal voice, also weeping] I know, I know!

7. Vin: Wishes they could skip the whole "role-play" part

Vin: Okay, so my damage for that attack is 13. DM: With a mighty thrust of your longsword, you chop of the doppleganger's head and it falls to the ground! DM: You just killed someone who looks exactly like you--you're watching your own head roll across the ground toward your feet. DM: How does Lady Silverteeth feel in this moment? Vin: Uh Vin: ...Bad? DM: [Remembering to always match the player's level of comfort with role playing] Yeah, I bet she does.

8. Painter: Has THE most ridiculous bad luck with dice

DM: You see the vampire in the street below. You think she's following someone...perhaps her next victim. Painter: My Assassin will jump down from above and Sneak Attack her! I get a Advantage since it's my first attack, plus I have my new +2 dagger! Painter: My cloak will sweep back behind me as I land, soft as the night air, and plunge my dagger into her heart! DM: Roll first. Painter: Hi-yah! [dice clatter] DM: ... Painter: ... Painter: I assume I miss entirely and fall onto my butt? Into a puddle? DM: Into a puddle, yeah. Painter: ...Every [lowly] time.

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Weird and wonderful compilation of strange bird noises.

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glow in the dark dildos are all fun and games until it’s 3am and you’re wondering why there’s a quest item in the shower

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I love you, I hate you, I missed you.

My partner showed me Gravity Falls lol

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Guillermo del Toro on AI

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A Lich Lord covered his head with rags and disguised himself as a cleric, then joined the heroes' party. His reasoning? He was bored and wanted to see the world without instilling fear.

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Selected Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook

Or: Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko

1. Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko should not be referred to by his full titles and styles, no matter the context. This appears to annoy him. "Fire Lord Zuko" and "Lord Zuko" are acceptable, as well as "your majesty" and "my Lord".

1.1 "Lord Hotman", however, is unacceptable.

1.2. Even if the Avatar specifically requests you to address Fire Lord Zuko as that.

1.3. In fact, any attempts by the Avatar, the Lady Beifong, the honorable Tribesman Sokka or even Master Katara to get you to address Fire Lord Zuko by anything other than his proper title should be disregarded.

1.4. Referring to Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.) as "The Loser Lord", however, is acceptable.

2. Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty. Following activities should be discouraged: Free climbing, glider usage, contact with exotic animals larger than a turtleduck (or smaller, if the animal is known to be venomous), amateur theatre productions, cooking, sailing, spelunking, botany, please see full list in the Matron's office.

2.1. It should be noted that His Majesty's belief that mortality does not apply to him does not appear to be completely unfounded. After several "close calls", it has been decided that upon his demise, Fire Lord Zuko should lie in state for at least two weeks.

2.1.1. We do not want another incident.

3. The turtleducks in the Western Pond do not need to be fed by the servants any more.

3.1. However, the turtleducks should be rotated out at regular intervals in order to prevent overfeeding.

4. At any official social functions, at least three servants should be vigilant in case His Majesty tries to tell a joke.

4.1. It should be noted that there is no concern for His Majesty's jokes being offensive, crass or otherwise contrary to good taste. They are simply very bad. His Majesty always ends up embarrassed.

5. Any children left unattended in the Royal Palace for more than 15 degrees can be retrieved from the Fire Lord's office.

6. Should His Majesty go missing, the following places should be searched: roofs and any high places, cellars and secret passages, the fur of the Avatar's sky bison (which is surprisingly deep), and every place that an ordinary five-year-old would think to hide in during a game of "Hide and Explode."

6.1. All of the Imperial Firebenders as well as any soldier who wears a mask during the course of their duties should be questioned.

6.1.1. Important note: Some of the soldiers who are especially close to His Majesty can perform a passable imitation of him. Efforts should be made to prevent an uneducated soldier from, say, conducting a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture.

6.2. After the recent incident, that list is expanded to include the Kyoshi Warriors and any other groups that might wear concealing full face paint.

6.3. If all of these measures prove ineffective, a letter should be sent to The Dragon of the West, Prince Iroh, asking His Highness to return His Majesty.

6.4. If a ransom note is delivered, it should be immediately checked against the handwriting samples from the honorable Tribesman Sokka as well as Avatar Aang, before any other actions are taken.

6.4.1. Replying "Good luck, he's your problem now" to a ransom note is absolutely unacceptable.

6.4.1.1. To further drive home the point, the Royal Archives are required by law to preserve every single piece of royal correspondence. That thing will end up in a museum.

This handbook will be updated should it prove necessary.

[alrascala]

[video description: a man playing saxophone in front of a large pipe. everything he plays echoes back through the pipe, resulting in a call-and-response type song. the person behind the camera claps along to the beat. end description.]