allidoisship

[allidoisship]

WIP Snippet: Jax/Opie

I know damn well this is arguably one of the rarest ships I could’ve ever written for but I fear I am obsessed with them. and there’s not enough fic of them. so i’m in the process of writing the longest fic i’ve ever written in my life currently at 30k and not even halfway done lmao. but I need to post SOMETHING about them or i’m gonna lose it rip

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jax lets the silence settle, the only thing grounding him being the counter behind him. he doesn’t know what he wants to say, but his mouth opens and he finds himself asking in a near-whisper, “how could you leave me without even saying goodbye?” jax sees a flicker of emotion cross opie’s face before it disappears just as quickly. opie shifts on his feet and makes his way to sit at the coffee table. he looks up at jax, silent plea in his eyes, asking him to sit with him, but jax stays rooted in his spot, not able to move himself just yet. jax continues, doing his best to keep an even voice, not wanting to show the hurt he felt grow and fester under his skin over the last few years, “we’ve been best friends for almost 20 years, ope. and you just…” jax looks around the room, trying to find his words. in the end, he finds his words on opie’s hands, crossed in front of him on the table as if he were in prayer. “you just left. and you couldn’t even spare a goodbye or explanation or a goddamn phone number to call you up on. and you were just gone. gone for damn near 6 years without so much as a stupid postcard my way. my best friend. do you have any idea what that felt like?”

opie hasn’t taken his eyes off of jax, he realizes when he looks up to see his green eyes boring into his soul, regret etched so visibly across his face. “jax…I—“

jax cuts him off, feeling the lid come off of his carefully bottled emotions because he hadn’t been expecting to have this talk. not now. not when his wounds were freshly ripped open after all this time. “and to top it off? you came back married. with not one, but two kids. didn’t even think to let me know after maybe the first? to visit before now? we’ve lived our whole lives together and you just cut me out like it meant nothing— like we meant nothing.” opie shakes his head and breaks the eye contact, opting to look at the table’s surface instead.

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t say bye to you, you know that,” jax laughs humorlessly and throws his head back, blinking up at the ceiling.

“yeah, that bullshit excuse about how you knew I would try to convince you not to go, but if you knew me, ope, really knew me in the way only you would, you’d know that I’d support you 100-fucking-percent of the way,” and that was true. jax wouldn’t convince opie to stay if he knew his friend needed to go.

but opie’s shaking his head again because, “it’s not that I thought you would try to convince me to stay. I couldn’t say bye to you because I…if I went to say goodbye to you, I would’ve never been able to go, no matter what you’d say”. jax heart thuds in his chest and his throat constricts, eyes unmoving from opie’s face. any words that he might’ve been preparing himself to say gets stuck at the back of his throat, unable to force their way out.

[allidoisship]

I’m upset that Moonlight didn’t get the audio commentary and long winded applause that La La Land did for their fail win. It’s so unfair. The memes are funny, but the Moonlight team has been robbed of a proper awarding and the Academy should be ashamed.

[allidoisship]

it hasn’t even been a week since trump got in office and he’s already making orders to fuck with people’s reproductive rights, advance the construction of oil pipelines on native american land, and repeal healthcare from millions of people so literally fuck anyone who says “just give him a chance”!!, because chances aren’t given to assholes who won’t hesitate when it comes to putting people’s lives in jeopardy 

[allidoisship]

[allidoisship]

When you’re in the middle of sobbing and you start dissociating so you’re like “okay I’m done now” and turn into an emotionless zombie