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gonna bust up that old arcade with some friends tonight. were gonna completely fuck it up itll be so funny. gonna destroy that stupid game that was like super rigged. hope i dont get my new sneakers too dirty tho lol!

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A Bug’s Life, 1998

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Out of Touch

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'this property says it has nine acres but those neighbours look pretty clo-'

oh.

ohhhhhhhhh no

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save me characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation…..characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation save me………..

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so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

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"You think you're informed just because you read a bunch of grainy PDFs?"

Yeah man. Reading scholarly works on a topic informs you on that topic. That's how this works.

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Thai tea I will blow you…one million kisses

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went to the nurse and i was like i need a period product. and they go. we are in the male ward. and I'm like i have a uterus. and they process it so slowly and they're like. do. do. you want a yorkie bar. will this help with the gender dysphoria. and i'm like ...you know what. sure.

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You there boy! What day is it?

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Martin: Hey buddy, you doing alright? Want some tea? A little break maybe.

Jon: SUPPLENEMTAL MARTIN IS MURDER STALKING ME, I ATE GETRUDE'S LAPTOP FOR SAFEKEEPING, ALSO I BROKE INTO TIM'S HOUSE AND STOLE ALL HIS BOOKS

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The Magnus Archives is like the SCP Foundation if they didn't Secure. Or Contain. Or Protect for that matter. So really they're like if you went to the SCP Foundation begging for help with the monster that had been tormenting you and some tired British academic just sort of nodded and said "Fucked If True." And then proceeded to Kubrick stare at you every night in your sleep for the rest of your life.

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I’ve come here to make an announcement! Shadow the hedgehog’s a JOLLY ass NICE LISTER! He GAVE PRESENTS to my fucking wife. That’s right! He took his hedgehog fuckin BURLAP SACK out and GAVE A GIFT to my fucking wife, and he said his BELLS were “this JINGLY!” and i said “that’s JOLLY!” So i’m making a callout-post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the hedgehog your STOCKING’S FULLA COAL and guess what? Here’s what my STOCKING looks like! 💣💣💣💣💣💥💥💥💥 That’s right baby! No coal! No sticks! No itchy sweaters! Look at that it looks like CANDYCANES and TOYS! He GIFTED my wife so guess what? I’m gonna GIFT the world! That’s right! This is what you get! My super RED-NOSED REINDEER!