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Perspective

Another Monday in the newsroom, another tribute to a 25 year old woman who didn’t get to wake up this morning.

Last week, Lauren Brownlee. A 25 year old with a new boyfriend, a love of animals and photography, driven in her real estate role... Struck by lightning and killed while watching an electrical storm. 

This week, Samara Johnson. A 25 year old with a love of horses, a talented young jockey, also with a loving partner and a dedication admired by many... Killed after the car she was travelling as a passenger in struck a tree and burst into flames.

Those who loved them, left shattered.

It may sound like telling these news stories affects me. But the truth is, they affect me less than they probably should. Maybe because every tragedy is told with compassion, but a sense of detachment... unlike our remarkably resilient front line personnel, who attend these critical incidents, and perform CPR. And there’s something somewhat therapeutic about helping people pay tribute to the loved ones they’ve lost. 

But I want to make sure these stories do affect me. 

Why? Because like Lauren and Samara, I’m 25 years old too. And it’s a reminder that tomorrow is not a guarantee, but a gift. 

Both these young women were taken in tragic circumstances that were out of their control.

You may be guilty of approaching Mondays with a groan, and that’s okay because everyone has an ‘off day’. But we must remember that we truly are lucky, no matter how big our pile of washing is, or our pile of worries. 

My job gives me perspective, and I think that’s a privilege. 

The challenge of capturing someone’s personality, achievements and values into under 2 minutes has also made me think about how I’d like to be remembered if I was to go too soon. And I hope it would be for the lesson here... giving each day my absolute all. 

Join me?

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Miss Wagga Wagga closing address

It has been an immense privilege to be your Miss Wagga Wagga for 2017.

I joined this quest wanting to contribute to community projects in a meaningful way, develop a greater understanding of the remarkable work local charities do, extend my connection with people from all corners of our community and grow as a person. Little did I know I’d also fire a machine gun at Kapooka, dress up in a lycra ‘Mrs Incredible’ costume, and work in McDonalds drive-thru for a day... Anything to support local charities! Explaining this to a group of preschoolers one morning I asked… ‘does anyone know what charities are?’ A four-year-old girl piped up… ‘I love cherries!’

I’ve enhanced my skills in event planning, fundraising, time management, communication and networking. But also, unexpected skills, like the speed and stamina required for raffle ticket selling; being a judge – entrusted to pick the best Gumi raft, funniest high school comedian, or the most loved teddy bear… and at more than a dozen barbeques, I’ve mastered the art of not getting tomato sauce on my white sash.

The role of Miss Wagga Wagga is full of variety, and with great bling comes great responsibility. I was beaming with pride to represent Wagga Wagga in our US sister city of Leavenworth, in Kansas, and spread the word about the fantastic facilities, opportunities and people, in ‘the city so nice, they named it twice’.

This experience has given me a platform to share issues I’m passionate about in our community. Wagga Wagga Takes Two allowed me to tick off my bucket list item of being the lead singer of a band, despite having next to no vocal talent. And they let me come back for 3 nights! But what was most important was being able to assist local victims of domestic violence, by supporting the Wagga Women’s Health Centre and their amazing work in crisis support and trauma counselling, and raise more than $30,000. Our grand total as a team for Wagga Takes Two was $480,000 for 12 charities. That figure still astounds me. And that wasn't us - that was you. The ever-generous people of Wagga, opening your wallets, and your hearts, to local projects and people. I’m excited to see how the 2018 titleholders make the role their own and raise the profile of issues they are passionate about. My interest in being a leader really started for me as school captain of Wagga Wagga Public School. One of the first things I did after being crowned, and the last official duty I had yesterday, was go back and visit the students there. And it's one of my favourite things I've done in my year as titleholder. Not only because I had a young student come up and whisper in my ear “this is your kingdom now”. I hope to continue to be a leader, in any way I can. And I think we all can, without a title. You can be a leader by standing up against domestic violence, showing your disapproval for racist remarks, by helping an elderly person struggling with groceries. These acts are also called ‘kindness’, and are something we all can practice… leading to a more inclusive, united community.

I’d like to thank Joel and Rebecca Berrigan from the International Hotel for sponsoring me as an entrant, so I could begin this journey 19 months ago. To the quest’s major sponsors, Qantas, The Daily Advertiser, Hit 93.1 and Triple M Riverina and Wagga.TV. The quest has proudly continued for 70 years because of organisations like yours that champion its value - as an important piece of the city’s history, and of great benefit to the city’s future.

Thank you to Jes... Every one of the 123 events have been so worth it, with you by my side. You have absolutely blossomed in your role as Community Princess. Thank you for the friendship and fun; and for opening my eyes, and almost my ears, to country music!

Thank you to my friends and family for your unwavering encouragement, support and love, always. 

To my fiancé Jaime - As my journey as Miss Wagga Wagga comes to close, my journey to become ‘Mrs Zanotto’ begins. Thank you for supporting everything I do, and everything I am.

Lastly, I call on everyone here tonight to think of someone you know, who you can encourage to enter the Miss Wagga Wagga Quest. The hours are many, the commitments are plenty… but the rewards are priceless, and the memories are forever.

In life we can’t rely on luck, but must take leaps. I congratulate the 2018 entrants, Zoe, Aley Katharine, Maddie, and Sarah for doing just that.

You are all exemplary leaders for this great city.

Thank you very much.

Congratulations to the new Miss Wagga Wagga 2018, Zoe Martin & Community Princess 2018, Maddie Smith.

Photo credit: The Daily Advertiser

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An Open Letter to 'Media Bashers'

‘The media don’t care about anyone these days’

‘Fucking dogs…’

‘All about money, that’s it’

'Rotten scum’

These are just some of the comments I read directed at 'the media’ most days. And I sit back and try not to take the keyboard warriors personally, most of the time. But then there’s today.

I pour my heart and soul into my work.  People’s stories touch me, inspire me, anger me, educate me, and make me want to share all of this with our viewers to enhance their perception of their world, and their connection with their community. For me it’s not a 9 till 5 job, it’s a way of life.

I have often attended community events on my day off to do interviews for 'free’, because the company may not have been able to afford the overtime, but I know the story matters to locals.

I have been so moved by stories of families battling with medical costs that I’ve dropped by their house after work and left a card and a $50 note in their mailbox. I know it won’t solve their problems, but I hope it will help relieve some of their stresses in some small way.

I’ve sat in the Supreme Court and listened to murdered school teacher Stephanie Scott’s mother Merrilyn read a victim impact statement with tears unashamedly falling into my notebook as she described how Stephanie’s last moments haunt her… “did she see the knife, and know her fate? Did she see his fist before he pounded her into oblivion?” How could I not react in this way, witnessing such raw, unfair, pain.

The people I interview often become great friends. We’re there with them in some of the most pivotal times in their life. We’re there as they rummage through their belongings after a devastating fire, we’re there as they receive a bravery medal for giving life-saving CPR, we’re there after a family finally gets the news their child is in remission, we’re there for their first day back at school after recovering from an almost fatal brain injury.

I see people I’ve interviewed in the street, at the movies, or in restaurants. I ask them how their new baby is going, or how they’re feeling after their double lung transplant. I ask them how they’ve been handling life after losing their loved one, what world record they’re attempting next or whatever other random thing I’ve interviewed them for.

How can you say I don’t care?

Slamming 'the media’ is a vague, intangible insult. It relates to hundreds of thousands of organisations and journalists. Just as you wouldn’t say all nurses or teachers are rotten scum, why do you generalise our profession? Some are good at what they do, some are bad, but all are different.

We are not “fucking dogs” (your words, not mine).

I’ve actually had a bar of it.

We are part of the community, and we are people. 

Please don’t paint us all with the same brush.

Sincerely, A journalist who’s in it for the right reasons... and tired of your abuse.

Editor’s note: I’m not alone in my frustrations, more about why there is no such thing as 'the media’ here - 

  https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/lifestyle/style/dear-readers-please-stop-calling-us-the-media-there-is-no-such-thing/2016/09/23/37972a32-7932-11e6-ac8e-cf8e0dd91dc7_story.html?client=ms-android-telstra-au

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Spotlight on Mental Illness - Fay Jackson

One in five people have mental illness; one in five people have blonde hair. Fay Jackson does not consider herself a victim, but a psychologically diverse citizen.

...

Visited by two nurses when she was psychotic and depressed, Fay Jackson told them that she had decided to kill herself. She asked them to tell her husband and two young girls, aged 10 and 13, that she was dying because she loved them and wanted to give them freedom, not because she was a coward: “I genuinely believed my family would be better off without me, that my girls needed a positive role model in their life, and that my husband needed a partner that was a wife and not a liability.” One of the nurses said, “No mummy, please don’t die mum. Nobody can love us the way you love us mum, nobody can stroke our hair the way you stroke us mum, please don’t die.” Her husband came into the room and said that in her delusional state, it wasn’t nurses she had told she was going to kill herself, but her own two girls.

It’s hard to comprehend that this is the same energetic woman who picked me up from the train station in Tempe, Sydney; in her “dirty Mazda”, dressed in a multi-coloured dress covered in butterflies, bright pink lipstick and sparkling blue eyes. She calls me “darlin”, insists on buying me coffee, and instantly I feel I’m in the presence of a favourite aunty. As she swirls the teaspoon through the airy foam of her cappuccino, she tells me about working as a clown; creating skits that conveyed serious messages through humour.

Diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 37, Fay Jackson is CEO of Vision in Mind. She talks at conferences all over Australia and internationally, as a motivational speaker and educator for mental health. Whether it is in Taiwan, New Zealand or here in Wollongong, she says each presentation has a “different flavour” to it.  She shares her own captivating stories with the audience, believing humour is important to change attitudes and create openness.

“Mental health has been made such a serious subject and that frightens so many people away, and I think that that’s a really big part of why there is such stigma around it - it’s so frightening and it doesn’t have to be… I think laughter breaks down the barriers.”

“She is genuinely a beautiful person, but she has had a very hard life,” says Mary Sparks, Student Residence Manager at the University of Wollongong, where Fay completed two degrees in Creative Arts and Education. She has been invited to speak at UOW for the past 12 years. “The work that she does with mental health throughout the Illawarra is just astounding. We are very privileged to have her come here.” Sparks discovered her through doing the Mental Health First Aid course herself, and admired her inspirational outlook on life.

Fay’s caring attitude towards others means she makes time to assist so many people in need, during her conferences or afterwards, “She always gives out her own personal telephone number. It’s unbelievable… I think she is just an absolute gem,” says Sparks. Fay tells gripping stories of having saved countless lives in tense situations; talking directly to people who are about to commit suicide in that moment, “That tends to happen to me, I don’t want to get all spiritual about this, but spirituality is important to me and I think I am here to do this kind of thing. So I think I do end up in places with people who are in need; I think that’s what I am meant to do,” she says.

Nominated for NSW Woman of the Year in 2007, Fay regularly speaks in parliament, and works with Beyond Blue, the Schizophrenia Fellowship of Australia and the Rotary Health Research Fund. She was Director of Consumer, Carer and Community Affairs for the Illawarra Health Service for four years before starting her own business, based in Kiama. Success beams from her list of achievements, but as we settle on a nearby park bench, Fay tells me the reality of her struggle: a stillborn child, suffering from two strokes and being fired from endless jobs because of mental illness.

Fay started experiencing depression in her teenage years, after a doctor advised her to smoke marijuana to relax. She grew up on a farm in Bowral, and speaks of her late brother Pete with enormous pride, “He and I were really really close and I loved him. He could do no wrong in my eyes as a kid.” She recalls the boys from nearby farms playing ‘wars’ on their farm, and Pete carrying her on his shoulders and sticking her under a blackberry bush until it was safe, “I would be there for ages and ages,” she laughs.

53-year-old Fay wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar until later in life because the psychiatrists didn’t ask if she felt extreme highs in emotion, as well as lows. “It’s because you go to the doctor when you feel really terrible and tell them of your aches and pains,” she says. “But you never go to a doctor when you feel fantastic and say, ‘This is the best I’ve ever felt, I’m loving life. Give me a pill to stop it’.”

Bipolar consists of periods of depression and mania, and for Fay it would flow through four-year cycles. Depression brought many physical burdens and plummeting cognitive abilities, “I was really, really unwell when I was depressed. My whole body would ache, I would lose a lot of hair, my teeth would even become sore and loose, my feet felt like I was walking on broken glass.  I couldn’t stand the weight of a blanket on my shins,” she says.

Her ability to think, reason and make decisions was affected, and her senses would virtually breakdown. She couldn’t feel hot and cold, or wet and dry on her skin. On one occasion, she burnt herself with hot water in the shower because she couldn’t make a decision if she had to turn on the cold tap, turn on the hot tap or get out of there.

Mania, on the other hand, brings Fay great joy, energy and powerful confidence. It has characteristics of heightened sensitivity and releasing pheromones, which attract people in a sexual or “party” way. Fay once invited neighbours to redesign the whole garden and pavement of her house. “It’s just so much energy, it is just so fantastic, I love it. You feel so alive; it is just so much excitement and happiness. And you feel the world sort of vibrating with energy in this lovely way,” she says with outstretched fingers and dancing eyes.

“I used to go to a local Woolworths shop when I was manic and stand just inside the entrance and welcome everybody - ‘Hello! Hello, welcome everybody!’ telling them where the specials were and everything. They never moved me on!” she says in amusement.

Mania allowed her to produce her best art and write creatively. She is an accomplished drawer and painter, and enjoys impressionistic portraits. Short stories and poems have been published in her name, and she longs to regain her creativity with deep nostalgia, “It was wonderful… I loved it, I really miss it. And it’s really tempting to go off my medication so that I can have it back.”

Fay acknowledges that her husband George finds her intense at times and that he needs a break to go fishing; but laid back, bohemian, hippy George is “no saint either”, she says with raised eyebrows and a cheeky grin. She insists there is give and take in the relationship, but she knew she was in love at age 15, “I walked into this party and he was sitting over the other side of the room… but honest to god, no word of a lie, I heard a voice say, ‘that’s him, you’re going to marry him, and have his kids’.”

There are dull squeals of delight coming from children in the nearby playground, as a boy whizzes down the slide and gets a mouthful of woodchips. I notice this spark joy in Fay as she tells me about her two grandsons, aged seven and four, “I am so in love with those two little boys. God I love ‘em. They are just so beautiful.” She looks down at her feet, and boasts that she used to wear stilettos, but since her grandchildren were born she feels old.

As we leave the park and crunch through the autumn leaves, Fay says it was her husband that gave her that motivation to grow old, during one of her lowest moments, “He said to me, ‘you say you love these girls enough to die for them, but the greater love is to love them enough to live for them, and to overcome this,” A smile creeps up her cheeks, “So he put that challenge to me… the bastard.”

As told to Sarah Navin during Interview conducted in 2012.

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Do Things Good For Your Soul

Can you think of a moment where you have felt blissfully calm?

I can pin-point the exact time.

I was lying on my belly, head resting on folded arms, on the edge of a jetty, morning fog floating across the water. Looking out 300m across a lake to the giant Christmas trees in the Catskill Mountains in Maine, New York, about 16,500kms from home. It was my last day as a summer camp leader and my 13-year-olds who I'd spent the last 9 weeks with, were still asleep in the bunk. I got up early to watch the sunrise and soak it all in.

Image: Conde Nast Traveller - Catskill Mountains.

Sometimes life is running a few feet ahead of us and we feel unable to keep up. We start sacrificing our 8 hours sleep and mastering the art of blow-drying our hair while sending emails and eating our cereal.

We all need a break sometimes. In fact we all need a little break ALL the time. Frequently take a step back and do something that really relaxes you, or makes your soul sing! It makes you more focused and productive when tackling the tasks your life demands of you. And let's be honest, the half hour it takes is only a third of the time you'll probably waste on social media today.

So what are the kind of things that can return your soul to that zen-like state?

- Soothing baths. A vanilla or grapefruit candle, some bubbles and some silence. The perfect recipe.

- Nanna naps – sometimes just 20mins is long enough to stop the pain behind your eyes and kick-start your alertness.

- Soup – There is something about the vegetable-charged hot slurp of soup, especially when your health is not 100%.

- Hugs.

- Freshly-washed clothes or sheets. Crisp citrus-scented linen. Mmm.

- Dancing - Ballet, burlesque, bellydancing, hip-hop, jazz, modern, pole, Irish, contemporary, swing, samba, the sprinkler on the dance floor, the macarena at your cousin's wedding. Whatever. Let loose.

- Bike riding in a scenic location. With lots of greenery. And ponds. And ducks.

- Reunions. Skyping with someone you haven’t seen in forever, whole-family shindigs or a coffee catch-up with an old friend.

- All you can eat restaurants. Nothing like the variety of choice and the satisfaction of a full belly.

- Exploring somewhere new.

- Road trips.

- Doing something you think you can’t do.

- Going for a walk – breathing the fresh air, being in nature, truly let your thoughts wander. And don't take your phone (Gasp!).

- Singing or belting out karaoke.

- Sitting in front of a fire.

- Lying in the sun on the beach.

- Baking – the aromas of fresh bread, or chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house.

- Getting a massage.

- Fundraising for charity... Bake stalls, barbeques or community events.

- Dinner parties. Laughing with friends over wine.

- Having a warm shower at the end of a cold day.

- A home-cooked meal.

- Warm tea in your trackies.

- Running. Pounding the pavement, feeling the rhythm.

- Doing nice things for other people - The other day I gave a homeless man a pie. He was really happy. Which made me happy.

And of course my favourite foods - chocolate, bacon, hash browns and cinnamon donuts. 'Cause they definitely ain't good for my body...

And I've got to justify it somehow...

What have I missed that makes your soul sing?

[alilcharisma]

Top 6 Apps to Make Your Day Easier

Over 900,000 apps have been invented. Most of which are addictive time-sucking games to help you fill in the minutes when waiting for a train. Some a mind-numbingly pointless. There is an app called 'Zips' where you just zip and unzip a zipper. Don't worry, there's more - you can change what underwear you want to appear underneath. Then there is 'iPhone blower' to blow out your candles for you. 'Cause you only get once chance a year, so may as well give the glory to your smartphone. Then there is 'Hold the button' which needs no further explanation. The current winner is from Spain. He held it for 6 and a 1/2 hours. I surrender to you good sir, you can stay the reigning champion.

Apps are becoming increasingly creative however, and some can act as little personal assistants, to make life easier. Just the beginning of future robots that will sense our cravings and bring us a hamburger or scrub our feet in the shower so we don't have to bend down, I suspect.

SWACKKET

Abbreviated from sweater, jacket, coat.

I check the weather forecast everyday because I’m notorious for wearing the wrong thing for the weather. Don’t you wish someone could just tell you it’s a t-shirt, cardigan and possible scarf day rather than just ‘15 degrees’? There are so many types of 15 degrees! 15 degrees and sunny, 15 degrees with heavy winds, 15 degrees and thunderstorm...

The app features boy and girl ‘peeps’ that wear fashion suggestions based on the weather. It even gives possible occasions such as ‘meeting with the CEO’, ‘everyday comfort’ or ‘lunch with friends’. In settings you can dictate what temperature is ‘cold’ ‘hot’ or ‘frigid’ to you, because people feel the cold differently. All the essential stuff is there too - sunset, sunrise, wind speed, chance of storm etc. Swackett even gives a dog-walking comfort rating so you can keep your furry friend happy and tells you whether or not to take a brolly.

7-MINUTE WORKOUT

If you could squeeze one of these in everyday it would really help you tone. OR if you think 7-minutes is nothing, the app could be used as a warm-up before sports games or dance classes. Basically it gives you 30 seconds of each exercise, including jumping jacks, wall sit, push-ups, abdominal crunch, step-up onto chair, squats, tricep dips on chair, plank, high knees, lunge, and side plank. It counts down for you out loud telling you how many left, with 10 second rest breaks in-between.

You don’t need any fancy equipment and it is just a great high-intensity workout, aiming at using each muscle group. AND it tells you that you rock at the end. Everyone loves a bit of a self-esteem boost from a computer right?

  FRIDGE PAL

The ultimate food organiser. You can create a shopping list and tick items off at the supermarket as you go. You can even sync with other smart phones when shopping with your mum/boyfriend/housemates and you can monitor what they’ve already got and what is still to go. So you can be in and out in a flash!

The app monitors use-by dates by scanning bar-codes on products, which works really well. I got excited going around my unit scanning all my products to see how smart it was. It can send you use-by date reminders so you avoid wasting food.

The app has a recipe section so you can search for suggestions based on items that you have left in your fridge, just by entering ‘beef’, ‘carrots’, ‘potatoes’ etc. Good for when inspiration is lacking!

  CARROT

A to-do list with a personality! It’s really simple to use, you just add tasks on the main page and it motivates you with praise as you tick them off, “Aww you just completed 5 tasks all by yourself – how cute” or “you are the king of the world”. BUT if you’re lazy, Carrot also has attitude and mood swings - I signed in the next day and the colour of the app had turned to black and I got the message, “It’s been one day since you last contributed to society” It gets angry! You have to keep it happy.

As you tick tasks off you get points to move up levels and unlock new features. Plus it gives gifts when you complete levels. Carrot said, “I bought you a kitten, it’s really cute and fluffy”, I pressed “thanks”, then it said “his continued survival depends entirely on your ability to complete tasks in a timely manner.” You can then feed it and dress it. But today I haven’t accomplished much, and Carrot punched my kitten in the face! I was horrified!

Carrot basically breathes new life into to-do lists and helps you kick goals. It's really entertaining and there are over 400 different rewards you can get and challenges to do. The downside is it cost $1.99 but I couldn’t resist!

  WHITE NOISE

Audio designed to help you sleep better.

White noise itself is supposed to be the most effective at blocking distractions because it covers the full spectrum of sound. Apparently it's great for reading, writing, studying, and anything else that requires focus. It’s supposed to aid sleep and melt away stress.

I found it quite the opposite, I thought it sounded like that fuzzy noise when you used to get two television channels stuck, back in the day when there were channel buttons on the TV. But there is also beach waves crashing, a train ride, thunder storm (I liked the gentle thunder), extreme rain pouring, crickets chirping, grandfather clock (downright annoying), chimes chiming, oscillating fan (reminds me of summer), airplane travel (that dull roar of the engine – I thought it was really calming). The different noises are a personal choice, but you can set a timer to slowly put you off to sleep!

  INSTRUCTABLES

The answer to everything you wish you could know about, or do, but don’t. You can search for anything and everything and the app instructs / teaches / gives you information. Just to give you a taster – on the homepage today was: How to make an exploding pumpkin face, how to make a robot, DIY Octopus costume, how to make creamy onion soup, and how to recaulk window panes. I can imagine it coming in handy with a flat tyre on the side of the road. Your one-stop shop.

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[alilcharisma]

Europe: Keep your paddle while you travel.

Climbing the Eiffel tower to watch the sparkling lights in the city of love, eating a chessy pizza bigger than your head at Italy's Trevi fountain, and nights that turn into blurry mornings over too many celebratory wines with new companions.

Then there is other side of travel…  lost or delayed baggage, your camera and all its memories stolen from under a cafe table, thousands of dollars of unexpected international roaming fees, bed bugs from unhygienic hostels, or border security questioning your visa in a foreign airport when you don't know the time or what day it is.

Up shit creek without a paddle is not where you want to be, here’s to keeping out of trouble and drinking more wine!

                                                              Treat your passport as an extra limb.

They say if you are without your passport, you are without a country. If you lose this most important document, a whole lotta hassle with embassies and customs ensues. You wouldn’t leave your leg behind, so keep your passport secured to you at all times. It’s also good because you can be asked to present it at random occasions. Ie. Buying wifi in Italy? Make copies of your passport, visa, credit card and all other important documentation and email them to yourself in case of a drama, along with an emergency numbers contact list including the Australian embassy, your phone provider, your bank and your insurance company.

Never say 'no' to a free toilet.

If you spend a little extra money here and there on dinner or an entry ticket, eh, you can let it slide sometimes as priceless memories. But paying 2 euro a day just to wee? Ouch! Always keep 20c or 50c on you for slots that don’t give change. Every time you pass a free water closet or 'WC', take the opportunity so you can save the shrapnel for things that count!

Don’t catch babies.

(Fake babies that is). Pickpockets are creative, and even throw dolls at you so that you drop your valuables. They can pretend to run into you in crowded places to take things out of your backpack or pockets. Always carry your bag across your body, zipped up and in front you. Bags carried on one shoulder can be easily snatched or snipped at the straps. Keep your phone or camera tucked away in busy cities. Believe it or not, people can try to snatch it out of your hand.

Turn on your scam radar.

Scammers wait outside train stations, tour buses or big tourist attractions ready to pounce on unknowing tourists. They innocently ask you sign petitions for causes and then want donations, with the money going straight into their pockets. They come in mobs, you can't miss them.

Know the random crimes that you could accidentally commit.

Feeding the pigeons in Venice is a 50 Euro fine, and buying fake goods like Prada or Dolce and Gabbana bags at street markets can cost you a large fine. Take photos in the Amsterdam red light district and “you will have a bucket of urine tipped on you and be punched in the face by a gypsy,” quote my tour guide. Making any sort of Nazi gesture in Germany will see you in jail for up to 3 years.

Danger zones

Register you travel online with DFAT so the Australian Government know where you’re travelling and can get you out of trouble if you’re in any. You can also subscribe to email updates for the countries you are visiting, for information on news, security threats or natural disaster warnings.

Get translation apps

I have been travelling for 42 days and I have been sick for 42 days. Jet lag germs, Contiki cough and fresher’s flu have all been made welcome as inhabitants of my body. That means I’ve visited a lot of different pharmacies in foreign countries. Trying to sign-language in France a ‘flu’ by coughing and making sneezing gestures is harder than you think. Other than ‘fever’ or ‘blocked nose’, vital sentences include, ‘how much do I take?’ and ‘how many times a day?’.

Have a hard copy map on you.

Getting lost can be fun. Having a flat phone with the details of your hotel name, street address and city map on it when you eventually want to go home to your safe, warm bed, is not so fun.

Sayonara big phone bills!

Free wifi... Even typing those words makes me happy. For social media junkies, free-wifi is pretty much everywhere in Europe. Viber is your best friend for free call and text back home. Often at restaurants and cafes you have to buy something to get the access code but mostly you can walk around the city and pick it up without it costing you a single cent.

Homesickness and culture shock travel commandments.

Thou shall not seek to find things that are similar, because thou has left home to find things that are different.

Thou shall not let negative experiences with someone from a particular culture reflect on one’s thoughts about a culture or country.

Thou shall dismiss mishaps and misadventure as good stories to tell the grandkids.

Thou shall immerse oneself in adventure to distract oneself that the comfort of familiarity is gone, and remind oneself that inspiring experiences await.

[alilcharisma]

London Fashion Week - street style stalk

The first rule of street style during Fashion Week, is that there are no rules.

Newspaper theme meets Alice in Wonderland with this funky button-up frock paired with oversize Chanel earrings and crowned loafers.

The freaky futuristic look. How to: Ginormous eyeball shirt, psychedelic clutch and socks peeking above ankle boots. 

Monochrome and fluro, a winning combination. Teamed with trainers and I-don't-care hair, somehow this sporty look works.

I'm convinced this dear was dressed by my six-year-old self. She looks just like a life-size dolly. Pastels, flowers, hearts, bows and lace. 

Sexy schoolgirl meets punk with this fishnet, black leather cuff and blue eye-shadow combo. Cue mysterious eyebrow. 

Out with the gold, in with the new - metallic mayhem. After all it's London, it rains sometimes. Practicality is key.

Embroidered fabric in a peachy tropical print exudes a springtime freshness.

A touch of tradition in a deliciously zesty lemon. I'm just looking at the staple pointed-toe black heels.

Never has a bad biker looked so cute. Checkered flag heels, leather and stud detailing, and yes... a gun in the bag?

Just... YES. Tailored jumpsuit in fire engine red. Check. Gold Xena the Warrior Princess cuffs. Check. Satchel, chic hat. Check. Check.

Just... No. Pattern clash is in, but my eyes hurt. Thank goodness the look is saved by dip-dyed hair in green and purple and a bowl-cut fringe... *ahem*

Pattern clash 101 masterclass, superior level. Added points for Rapunzel hair.

The pantsuit pyramid.

I 'aint saying she a gold digger, I'm just saying she's dripping in it.

It's hard to tell in the photo, but she actually had fuchsia pants with the red jacket. Breaking colour boundaries, but stunning paired with teal and leopard print pumps.

Back to the '80s.

Thinking outside the material box. No babies were harmed in the making of this outfit.

If the fluorescent pout mini skirt isn't the first thing to catch your eye, the dramatic difference in these ladies fringes will!

Mustard meets gold with a pop of fuchsia lipstick that (unintentionally?) ties in the brolly! And there's that hat again. Love.

Cutesy prints in pastel colours, woolen knits, dainty checkered shoes and pom pom embellishments made this pair turn heads. Just look at those socks!

This gal shows it doesn't take much to look fab, a killer jacket with statement buttons and some platform wedges. Nailed it.

All images copyright ©SarahNavin2013

[alilcharisma]

The Move In

Unlike my long distance lovin' post, this one's about getting up close and personal and shacking up. 

  Channing Tatum asked his lucky gal to move in with him by using blueberries on pancakes in The Vow. Oh schtapp it with the cuteness!

If you're going to ask anything, it should be done with dessert. Except maybe a proposal, it should be done more like this - (link to man falling off building).

But heck, even, 'do we need milk?', or 'did you pick up the dry cleaning?' should be asked in a strawberry and malteaser covered mud cake. Well, it's a way to get me to listen up anyhow. 

  All sweetness aside, moving in is no feat to be taken lightly. I think if the transition from courting to cohabiting scares you a little, it's a good thing. While split bills and movie night slumber parties are a given, adjustments occur both in the relationship, and the everyday living aspects which i'm talking 'bout here. Including reducing the collection of pink fluffy pillows. Can I hear a collective *awwwhh*. Relax, only reducing not eliminating. 

  Firstly, you can't make sure you're looking damn fine all the time.. It is an impossible task. (Have you seem Mila Kunis or Fifi Box without makeup?). Yep, celebrities also don't look as hot all-natur-al. Feel better now?

Maybe you want to hold-off on the deep pore nose cleansing strips till your boyfriend isn't home, and he might want to part with his oh-so-comfortable briefs that have so many holes in them they can barely be classified as underwear. Keep the romance alive my friends.

  Planning meals and cooking is fun, however playing house does not always go as gleefully and pleasant as it does in a 1950s sitcom...Take my third day of playing house with my boyfriend for example. Went to do the washing up one quiet afternoon and as I turned the hot water on, the whole tap detached so that water was ferociously spurting 3 metres into the lounge room. We didn't know where to turn the water off outside, and our roommate wasn't home, so he enlisted the help of neighbours while I controlled the water with a bucket and attempted to shove the tap back in the hole while boiling water squirted up into my face. There was a lot of swearing and a lot of yelling. Alas, 15mins later it was funny. Humour heals all. Things break, plumbers need to be called. It's all part of this 'being a grown up' thing we signed up for. Oh, you didn't sign that contract either? Can we go back to playing with play-dough for 4 hours now?

  Beware the deceiving portion size and relationship weight...Girl meets boy. Girl and boy start dating. Boy and girl share meals together. Girl serves up same size meal as boy. Boy has much bigger appetite than girl. Girl gets more bootylicious (to put it nicely...)

A friend agreed with the late night coffee / donut / snack runs that occur just for something to do. Are you really hungry a half hour before you go to sleep?

  Who gets the best side of the bed.

Just putting it out there. One of the toughest decisions. Not against the idea of a roster here.

  Us time, me time, friend time, work time... get the balance right. Repeat after me... I will not disappear off the face of the earth when I move in with my significant other. I will schedule romantic dates other than couch time, and set aside time to do individual things that make me happy. Also, sometimes you're going to want to exile yourself to the bath for an hour and give yourself an indulgent head-to-toe pampering session. Guys will never understand the point of this. Just like you might not understand hours playing COD, Spartacus re-runs or protein shakes. Don't even get me started on my frustration with why the audience stands up for a whole episode of Top Gear! Accept and embrace. Enjoy the fact that you get to see all of each others personalities and quirks and not just the one that was on show when you saw each other a couple of times a week. 

Still feeling the love? Happy days.

    Between us, my boyfriend and I have lived in 9 different houses separately, we've lived separately in the same town, lived 5 hours apart, lived together on two separate occasions, and had one month, three month and soon-to-be six month individual stints overseas. Love to hear your thoughts on the changes that come with shacking up!

... Of course I had to get a personalised pink house key!

[alilcharisma]

Gucci Spring 2013 had it all. Flirty lashes and exquisite jewel detailing. Amaze.

[alilcharisma]

How to: Dress Versace on a Budget

Any early 20-something female who walks around with a Chanel handbag, Tom Ford shoes, and a YSL Arty ring that she didn't get in Bali shouldn't be trusted. Surely she's either mooching off her ex-olympic sportsman father, is old friends with all the catwalk designers, broke into the warehouse or has sold everything she owns and lives in a cardboard box. It's simply not possible to make a wishlist from all the jaw-dropping fash-gasms we see on the catwalk.

The Autumn / Winter 2013 shows have swept through London, Paris, New York, Milan and most recently our very own show down-under. Now all that’s left is a sequin or two on the runways, a few hungry models and a whole lot of inspiration. Here's how to rock the three hottest trends for under $100, while keeping your wallet full and healthy.

DECADENT GOLD BAROQUE

                                         Dolce & Gabbana 

Luxe fabrics with embellished detailing will inject a touch of royalty into your Autumn wardrobe. It's all about renaissance revival, featuring ornate designs with a textured feel in shiny metallics and decorative velvet patterns reminiscent of the 1600s.

Measure purchases by cost per wear. A nice pair of slacks, a white button up shirt and a blazer that hugs you in all the right places are investment buys that will be worth the cash for their longevity. It's harder to justify pieces that you will only wear a few times in one season. Embrace the baroque with these budget finds:

Skinny Jeans in Metallic Baroque - Asos.com $44.65

Baroque Jumper $89.95 - Sportsgirl

                                                       Indian Jacquard Bomber Jacket $89 - Topshop

PRINT TASTIC

(Left to right) Lisa Ho, Shakuhachi, Camilla and Marc at MBFWA

Whether it be tribal vibes at Camilla, futuristic florals at Shakuhachi or refreshing china-plate blues at Lisa Ho, it seemed the more outrageous the print, the more fashion editors everywhere fell head over heels. Choose items with unusual necklines and edgy cut-out pieces for a modern take on vintage prints.

Anna Lace Motif Dress $79.95 - Forever New

Dark Crystal Dress $99.95- Bettina Liano

Baroque Print Shirt $24.99 - Ally.

*This top is similar (if not nicer) than the Shakuhachi design for $220 seen here.

MONOCHROME MAYHEM

Inspired by My Fairy Lady going to the races, the ultra-chic black and white designs that dominated the runways featured sharp cuts and strong lines, tailored to a T. Throw in a blazer with leather detailing or a leather mini and you'll pretty much scream Autumn 2013. The trick of disguising budget for designer is often in the embellishments. If the buttons look a little bland, replace them with more sleek-looking ones. Always fork out the extra cash for jackets that have strong (and straight!) seams and that are lined. 

(Left to right) Moschino, Ginger and Smart, Marc Jacobs

Outer Jacket Dressy $39.95 - Temt

C&S Top SN Romantic $14.95 - Valleygirl

Hypnotic Bodycon $99.95 - Sportsgirl

[alilcharisma]

[alilcharisma]

9 beauty lust-haves to liven your look

Whipped berries lipstick, summer haze eyeshadow, coffee eyeliner, orgasm blush... Your face sounds like a party I’d sure love an invite to.

                                When you stare at the shelf of available creams, firmers, primers, highlighters, plumpers, and tinters you might be feeling as lost as a metal fan at a Bieber concert.

It’s time to shake up your beauty routine and add some colour, treat your skin to some summer hydration and get rid of that half-used powder compact you got as a gift from that boy in year 4, who stole it from his mother’s beauty cupboard. Gross.

Here's a handful of the newest inventions, must-have products and on-trend makeup looks. Give 2013 a welcome kiss with those bold fuchsia lips!

1. On-the-go quick fixes.

For nail polish on the train, nail polish on the bus, nail polish at the office desk and nail polish while ordering Thai food for lunch, you can’t go wrong with the LAQA & CO nail polish stick. If you have ever spilt a bottle of red polish on a white dress 10 minutes before leaving the house, save yourself the frantic scrub and get the training wheels equivalent. For portable perfume, adorn the arm with a roll-on scent. I adore the floral notes in Crabtree & Evelyn's Golden Petal Rollerball- great for the handbag!

       2. Day to night peepers

Eye shadow is at LEAST a four-step process and It’s all about blending to create after 5 eyes. Extend the lightest shade from your lid to just under your eyebrow line and sweep the main colour across your eyelid. Then experiment with your cut-crease and add a darker shade where you eyelid folds, making the colour heavier at the outer-eye. Add a sweep of shadow under your lower lash line, three quarters along from your outer eye. This season it’s all about the aqua blue colours. Invest in a palette that has some golden day tones and some deeper hues for a night on the town. Check out Guerlain's LIU eye and lip calligraphy palette - every colour you need in one compact.

   3. Fake it till you make it

So you’ve had 6 hours sleep but when you look in the mirror it looks like you’ve had 2, there are a few tricks to faking the fresh beauty-sleep eyes. White eyeliner is your best friend here. Trace along your inner eye above your lower lash line to make the whites of your eyes appear brighter. Also, eye firmers or tired eye reliever gels work wonders and often come with a silver ball roll-on application that feels absolutely divine by giving a cooling effect. Banish puffy eyes with Planet Eco Super 5 Eye Firming Gel. AKA the on-the-go equivalent of cold cucumbers on the eyes. Bliss. 

4. Lovely lengthy lashes

If you are less gifted in the lash department and have tried the ‘triple thickness max volume mascara’, bulky fake eyelashes or regular tinting treatments … please welcome the awesome invention - ‘lash fibres’! It normally comes as a double ended mascara, where one end is a brush with fine white, loose fibres that you gently brush onto lashes to extend and add volume and then a normal black mascara over the top to define them and make them stick. Could have fooled me! Try Model Co or Lady Lash.

                                                                 5. It’s a crime not to prime - Porcelain perfection.

Like we need another step in the daily make-up process right? Hold it there! This is definitely one of those ‘don’t knock it till you’ve tried it’ things like peanut butter on raisin toast or rolled up devon, rice and tomato sauce under the grill.

Primer = instant baby skin. It works to even skin’s texture by smoothing pores and making make-up stay put longer. It is a gel-like substance but absorbs INSTANTLY and makes your skin feel sooo soft to touch. Whilst it is often expensive, it’s worth the investment because you only need the tiniest amount each day. Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot Pre-Foundation Primer is one of the best. The latest craze in makeup is BB creams. Rimmel London's new 9 in 1 skin perfecting super makeup promises to prime, moisturise, minimise pores, conceal, cover, smooth, mattify and brighten. I just promise that it creates the ultimate doll face.

             6. All natur’al

When you think about it, feeding our skin a mountain of chemicals can’t be good. So call me a hippy, but I can’t get enough of the organic stuff. What’s even more intense is that on average, a woman swallows 2.7 kg of lipstick in her lifetime… So you may as well make lipstick somewhat nutritious! I love NVEY eco hydrating lip lustre gloss hydratant which is a lip gloss that smells like freshly squeezed lemon and lime... mmm mouth watering. Let’s face it, a lot of organic products smell like you rolled in grass all afternoon, but my favourites are Antipodes Reincarnation Pure Facial Exfoliator with avocado oil and Allegra Rhodes Red Lychee Body Lotion infused with White Chocolate. Heaven! Check out organic brands LaMav, The Aromatherapy Associates, OmVeda, Grown, Antipodes, Burt's Bees, AEOS, and Vapour.

   7. Oil me up

When you think of oil you might think of your dad’s hands after working on the car… or the way water glides over the cupcake tray after you've sprayed it with canola... Thick and greasy and slimy. But fear not, nourishing your skin in oils is like drinking water for your kidneys. Wear overnight to hydrate and wake up with glossy skin that is super soft to touch. Love LaMav Antioxidant Rich Nightly Repair Nectar with EIGHT different flower extracts.            

                          8. Illuminate ‘yo face

Illuminator is a sneaky little trick to give you that effervescent glow. Whilst we try to reduce shine in makeup, a touch of shine in the right places makes you look healthy, awake and radiant. Add a dash of an illuminator stick to the inner eye, on cheek and brow bones and the bow of your lips. Why leave that gorgeous glow to the pregnant ladies?

9. Embrace the colour

                     Splashes of colour swept through the Spring 2013 fashion catwalks. Pattern clashes and chaotic colours are dominating designer fashion trends, so it’s no surprise bright hues are back to inject vibrance to your makeup look. Think metallic shimmer in aquatic colours, citrus nail polish and bold fuchsia lips. I’m obsessed with Kate Moss’ Shocking Pink hue. But make sure you find a lip liner to match... you want the colour to be shocking, not the application.

Of course it’s the beauty on the inside that counts (all teeny bopper magazine editor’s nodding along approvingly)... but indulging in lavish beauty treats is all a bit of good, clean adult fun eh?

*this post was not created to endorse brands for advertising purposes. All products listed have been tested by the author and are a true recommendation.

[alilcharisma]

How the pill alters taste in men

You are attracted to a guy because of their sense of humour that has you rolling on the floor in stitches; their tall, dark and handsome looks, or the fact that they also enjoy raspberry liquorice and are die-hard fans of the Bourne Trilogy, right?

Or is it simply compatible pheromones?

The contraceptive pill has revolutionised female sexuality, but recent scientific studies suggest that the tiny four-millimetre pill could change women’s sexual desire and the men she finds attractive.

                            Is this another one of those medical studies that will probably contradict another medical study next week? Yes, yes it is. But this one isn't cancer-related, and could create a whole bundle of implications for relationships.

Research reveals how the hormones in the contraceptive pill disrupt a woman’s natural preferences in a man, resulting in her choosing different partners than she would if she wasn’t on the pill.

The idea centres on a man’s scent. Time to get a little scientific, but bare with me.

In a study by The Proceedings of the Royal Society of Biological Sciences, women are attracted to men with a similar major histocompatibility complex (MHC) gene when on the pill, and find themselves attracted to the dissimilar gene naturally. This changes our tendency to favour different smells and appearances of possible mates.

This is partly a strategy in evolution. Couples with different MHC genes produce a baby that is protected from more pathogens and has a stronger immune system. Like other animals, variation in the gene pool makes them more likely to survive. However, the hormonal make-up in the pill disrupts some of these chemical signals in women.

But with all the daily showers, aftershaves, laundry detergent, body sprays, deodorant and lotions can we really smell these pheromones anyway?

More importantly, do we want to?

                                   We all know there is this magical world called 'chemistry'. A 'spark' that we can't help imagine is something like zapping yourself on the metal part of the escalator, or making your hair shoot out like it did when you touched the static electricity ball in year 9 science.

Kylie*, 34 noticed a change in her attraction, “I got married to my ex-husband at 22 and on my honeymoon I realised I didn’t want to have sex with him. He is still my best friend and I love him to death, but yeah, the chemistry just wasn’t there. The $70,000 divorce is an expensive way to learn.”

Research began with the “sweaty t-shirt experiment” by Claus Wedikind in 1990, which studied a female’s ability to smell a genetically compatible mate. 44 women and 49 men were chosen for their MHC gene varieties and the men were given a t-shirt to wear for two nights to absorb their unique smell. The scientists invited the women to smell the shirts in the laboratory and describe the pleasantness, intensity and sexiness of each odour. Quite alarmingly, women favoured the smell of men with MHC genes unlike their own.

                In Australia, a third of marriages fail, and an estimated 50,000 divorces will be granted this year. Illawarra Women’s Health Centre specialist Edith Meltarego says that the pill’s power to affect sexual desire and make women attracted to different smells, leads to women being less sexually satisfied. This can mean reduced happiness, which leads to divorce.

Women of Australia, halt before you throw your contraceptive pills out the window and start smelling every man’s t-shirt at the pub, as an ‘audition’ to be a perfect match leading to a guaranteed lifetime of love. Edith says that while these studies have a good argument, there are many other factors that constitute attraction. Divorce is a more complex problem.

“So many other things come into a relationship, including financial situation, and different values or beliefs. It would be just speculating to say that the effects of the pill contribute to divorce. There are different factors involved, not just the hormones.”

Move over speed dating, you can even attend 'pheromone parties' where you sniff out partners literally by smelling their clothing in a bag. And perfume makers have created pheromone colognes containing the ingredients androstenone, androsterone and androstenol to apparently help make men irresistible to women. Well, that throws a bit of a spanner in the works doesn't it.

Listen to Hamish and Andy's experience with a pheromone wipe HERE