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In the back of my mind
Paring: Anakin Skywalker x f!reader (she/her pronouns!) / Anakin Skywalker x Padmé Amidala
Feat: wildflower from Billie Eilish.
Summary: before PadmĂ© and Anakin there was someone else. But best friends donât betray each other, do they? (Mostly PadmĂ©âs POV.)
A/n: this might be a little more complicated, so pay close attention to whoâs meant with 'herâ and it really shouldnât be a problem! Just a short little angsty Drabble I wanted to share, enjoy!
Padmé and her had been best friends ever since she got into politics, she was the only one who understood her. They would sit and talk about all the world matters until they had to go home.
When they both were in desperate need of a bodyguard due to life threatening conditions, they were both so giddy knowing that the two best Jediâs were coming to protect them.
Anakin and her got along quick, quicker than Padmé had ever seen her best friend get along with anyone.
His ponytail and his hypnotizing eyes really did the trick.
Anakin only remembered being in love with PadmĂ© all his life, counting the days until he saw her again. But she didnât want him, and he was sick of coming across as pushy.
Padmé was so happy for her best friend when she and Anakin became official. She listened to all the stories with excitement, giving her advice on how to kiss, or which positions men liked best.
For two whole years she watched her best friend shine with the boy who used to be in love with her.
But she didnât reciprocate those feelings, so she really didnât have any right to be upset. Her best friend had deserved this. A great guy such like Ani.
When they broke up due to him cheating on her drunkenly, Padmé held her tight.
âHeâs not worth it.â âheâs such an idiot for losing you!â
The little twinge of hope in her chest didnât show.
She was crying on my shoulder, all I could do was hold her,
âYouâre the Best friend I could ever have.â She hugs PadmĂ© tightly, and she put on a fake smile.
Padmé watched her get ready for her date later, pretending to be so proud of her for finally getting over Anakin.
She didnât mention her own date that she had later that day.
Only made us closer
Anakin was desperate. He wouldnât leave her alone.
It was not her fault.
Until July,
She didnât want this, she didnât want to fall for her best friendâs ex boyfriend.
But she did anyway, doesnât matter how much she tried to deny and fight it.
âAnakin you know we canât!â she cried âwhat about-â but he cut her off,
âWhat about us, PadmĂ©? Donât we deserve happiness? I love you.â he begged.
And I know that you love me, you donât need to remind me.
The talk was what Padmé dreaded the most.
So she didnât talk.
She avoided her as best as possible, only talked when necessary.
Soon they grew apart, Padmé made sure she would think it only happened because of time,
Because sometimes friends just grow apart, itâs the circle of life, isnât it?
But when she and Anakin walked by her, hand in hand, and their eyes met briefly,
Padmé knew that she knows now.
That she knows why Padmé has been avoiding her.
That she knows why they grew apart, why their friendship had to end.
Because Padmé took something that was once hers.
And they never spoke again.
I should put it all behind me.. shouldnât I?
âWeâre here!â Anakin announced proudly, "do you like it?â
Padmé looked at the lake in front of her.
âAnd then he took me to the lake and told me he loved me! How sweet is that? It was-â both girls squealed together.
âPerfect,â PadmĂ© finished the sentence she had once heard in a different scenario,
âItâs perfect.â she looked at the lake.
But I see her,
In the back of my mind.
All the time.
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin skywalker angst#anakin x you#star wars anakin#sam monroe#padme amidala#padme x anakin
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hi love! do you have a masterlist?
Hey! I do have one, but it isnât very good at the moment, because I wasnât really able to figure out how exactly to link my stories, but I found a way. Iâll redo my masterlist once Iâm actually able to use tumblr x đ
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader
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My Masterlist xx đ«¶đŒ
who I write for:
Anakin Skywalker
Sam Monroe
Hayden Christensen
(And Hayden Christensen character)
Obi-Wan
Draco Malfoy
Harry Potter
Ron Weasley
(And you can request more characters, if I know them well enough, Iâll do em.)
Anakin Skywalker:
It was love:
It is love (part 2):
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker fanfiction
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Absolutely no rush my love! But I am DEATHLY and patiently waiting for the next part of the anakin fanfic when ever your ready my dear đâ€ïž
Posted!! â€ïž
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader
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It is love
Paring: Anakin Skywalker x Reader
Warning: Angst, heartbreak, fluff, Anakin is a senator here, not a Jedi.
Summary: In which Anakin does realize his mistake before it is too late, but will you be waiting for him?
Part two to: it was love.
A/n: I am so sorry for how long it has taken me, I was so busy with school, but proud to say I have my diploma now!! Enjoy xx
Also: English isnât my first language so feel free to make me aware of any mistakes you may find. Ps: not proof read! Please point out my mistakes x
He felt all the eyes on him, felt his throat go dry as everyone waited for him to say those two important words.
But he couldnât, how could he possibly marry her?
PadmĂš was everything he had ever wanted. Ever since he was merely a child and had first met her, he knew he was going to marry her, how could he not? She was so beautiful, and so nice.
But she wasnât as beautiful as you, and she surely wasnât as nice as you. She didnât have your hair, or your eyes. Her heart didnât beat the same way yours did and her hand wouldnât look the same with the ring on as yours did.
PadmĂš blinked at him confused as he stayed silent âAnakin, I believe it is your turn.â she whispered while keeping the smile on her face.
He swallowed.
He looked into the crowd, away from the eyes that werenât yours, âI canâtâ he whispered as gasps were heard all over the room.
âI canât.â He repeated as he looks back at PadmĂš, her face containing the same shock as everyone elseâs. âI have loved you for all my life, I have fought for your love for years, and you never even looked at me. And now, while Iâm standing here in front of you, I realize what love actually means,â
He swallowed again, though there wasnât much to swallow, his mouth was completely dry,
âIt means friendship,â he looks at the Preacher âIt means that I wonât have to fight for that love, that I can just be myself.â He finished âand I donât have that with you, Iâve had it before, but it wasnât with you.â
He looks down as his heart felt heavy again, being reminded of the love he had received, and how he had taken it for granted.
PadmĂš looks at him, tears in her eyes, as she ran out of the room, letting her wedding dress flow behind her.
Anakin made no move to stop her.
And while she would always hold a place in his heart, somewhere deep inside, his heart didnât burn for her anymore, perhaps it never did.
A few hours later, PadmĂš and Anakin stood together on the balcony they had shared their first kiss on, a few years prior. Nothing ever happened again after that, but it was still a dear please in both of their hearts.
She looked at him, and she told him she understands. She knew, somehow, why he was doing this.
Perhaps woman always know, he wondered.
âI know, Anakin.â She said, as he opened his mouth, âI was wondering how long it takes you until you figure out that you actually do love her, but I told myself I was just delusional, after all you left her, for me.â
She smiles sadly,
âThe universe has its own cruel ways, I suppose,â she adds, as she looks at him again.
All he could do was look away, âI am so sorry, i never wanted it to come to this. I thought I was doing the right thing, divorcing her for you.â
PadmĂš nods at that, âYou should leave, get her back, you shouldnât waste any time.â
And with that, he was through the door, leaving PadmĂš all on her own, mourning the wife she couldâve been.
But she knew love was rare, and if Anakin had found it in you, she wished him the best of luck, praying that she will one day find her own man to love.
And it surely wouldnât hurt if he hadnât been married before.
Anakin started his ship, immediately flying to Aldeeran. He hoped he would find you at the senate, he wouldnât really know where else to look.
As his ship landed a little while later, he felt his heart ease a little as he felt the grass under his feet, knowing he was one step closer to bringing you back home.
Back home as his wife.
He arrived at the senate, his eyes immediately spotting your bright smile as you stood with another senator, nodding your head along to what he was saying.
His body froze, suddenly all of his thoughts had vanished, all of the things he wanted to say died in his throat.
As your eyes made contact with his, and slowly widened at seeing him, his feet immediately started moving in their own accord.
Anakin moved towards you as he tackled you in his arms, closing his eyes and finally enjoying your presence again.
âAni, what on earth are you doing here?â you exclaimed, your voice shaky as you tried wiggling out of his arms to look at him.
âIâve missed you, I wanted to see you.â was all he could force out, his throat feeling even more dry than earlier.
You took a good look at him up and down, âdid you get married today?â
He blinks at that âsomething like that,â he said quiet âbut I needed to see you.â
at that, your eyebrows knitted together âon your wedding day?â
He shook his head,
âOn my engagement day.â he whispered out as he got on his knees, desperately taking both your hands.
âIâve been a fool, such a fool that it pains me to even think about itâ he said slowly, his eyes watering a little âI made a mistake by leaving you, a terrible mistake and I plan on spending our whole lives making up for it, if you will only let meâ he choked out.
You blinked at that âani, stand up, what are you doing?â You asked shakily, not even believing what was happening right now.
âNo.â Anakin Said determined âI want you back, I need you back. I will never disappoint you again if you will just give me this one chance.â he begs.
you just shook your head âyou donât mean it, youâve said it yourself, you never loved me. And I canât be the backup for you, Iâm sorry.â your own tears slowly streaming down your face.
âDonât say that, donât you dare say that, you were never the backup for me.â he said desperately, âI was just too late, too late in realizing that i do love you. I love you as my wife, I love you as my friend and I will love you as the mother of my children. I donât want anyone else.â he begs for your understanding.
you just blinked âhow can I be sure?â
He slowly slid the ring you have left behind back in your finger, âyou can be sure by becoming my wife again, and letting me show you all the love for you that I have been suppressing.â
Your teary face lit up at that as you looked at the ring on your finger yet again and gave him a tight hug.
He kissed your temple, âI shall never be as stupid again, you will be my wife in this, and in the next lifetime.â He promised.
And he held that promise.
A week later they stood before the same Preacher that Anakin had stood before just a week ago, and as he talked about love and friendship once again, his eyes watered, knowing he had finally found it again.
âI do, again!â you smiled happily, and this time, Anakin wasted no time.
âI do.â Anakin smiles, too.
And then, he took his wife home again, giving her many, many years filled with happiness.
Because love was always worth it.
And this,
This is definitely love
He thought, as he looked at his beautiful wife, playing with their son.
Yeah, this is definitely love.
A/n: wow, this was hard to write, but I had such a fun time!! Let me know what you think, and if you still want the sad version of this (which will probably take its time again). Love yïżœïżœall!
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#hayden christensen#anakin skywalker#Anakin Skywalker x you#anakin skywalker smut#hayden christensen x reader#star wars#sam monroe#anakin skywalker fanfiction
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Hey! I donât want to rush you at all as I completely understand how things come up but do you have any updates on part 2? đ©·đ©·
ahh! Iâm so sorry, I completely forgot to update. Iâve been a bit stressed bc of school recently. I am working on both parts, the âbadâ ending and the good one, but I do think I am going to update the good one first, so that should be in a few days, Iâd say two!
Much love x
Requests are welcome! đ«¶đŒ
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Hello, how are you?
I really loved Anakin's imagine. And I saw that you started a poll about part 2, and I wanted to know if it would be possible for you to do both versions, one with the happy ending, and the other with the "sad ending". I love happy endings (obviously), but I much more like women who move on and forget who made them sad (and that to me is also a happy ending).
(English is not my first language, so sorry if you couldn't understand something).
Thank you so much for your feedback! and I actually quite like the idea. I think the second part will be out in two days and then I could upload another post with an alternative ending. And donât worry, English is not my first language either ;) đ«¶đŒ
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Let me know what you guys would prefer, because Iâm tornnnn âčïž (acting like I donât prefer the happy ending)
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker smut#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen#darth vader
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It was love
Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Reader
Warnings: Anakin is a senator here, not a Jedi. fluff turning to angst, wrong choices (thatâs basically it.)
Summary: Anakin Skywalker, the senator of Tatooine, has to marry. Unfortunately, it happens to be the senator of Aldeeran, not of Naboo. He can never grow to love you, can he?
A/n: this is literally my first post ever and I would appreciate feedback + English isnât my first language so spread love <3
Anakin was fucking pissed. An arranged marriage? He was the senator of Tatooine not the fucking prince that he needed to be married right now. But his parents thought it was a good idea for him to be married to another senator. The wedding was yesterday, and he had to admit, you were beautiful, breathtakingly so. But he was in love with Padmé, and that since he was 9 years old and saw her for the first time. He instantly knew it was love.
Now he had been married to the senator of Aldeeran for two days, and you were actually pleasant to be around, you were nice and friendly and just over all a ray of sunshine. You tried your best to make the marriage work and he could see that, but his heart yearned for PadmĂ©, it always had. He couldnât possibly start liking someone else, it would be betrayal, even if the pretty senator of Naboo didnât even feel the same. His feelings were very much real.
Yet a few months into their marriage, Anakin felt himself starting to warm up a little. You always waited for him at home after he had a long day and he was immediately greeted by a comforted hug and a few kisses on his face
âOh Ani, long day?â you had asked, cradling his face lovingly âitâs okay, I made you lasagna, thatâs your favorite right?â Truthfully, you fell for him, fast and hard. He was already your husband so there was no shame in loving him, right? You had thought he was starting to fall in love too, he always reciprocated your kisses and always stroked your hair when going to sleep.
âAni?â you asked gently when laying in bed. âHm?â he quietly hummed back, âdo you love me?â you asked with the slightest fear in your voice. There were a few moments of silence
âOf course.â
A few more months later, surprisingly, PadmĂ©, after seeing him getting married, started falling for him too. She wasnât even trying to hide it. Anakin had yearned for her love for so long, he didnât even hesitate when she kissed him, and asked him to divorce you. She was a senator after all, so his parents would approve.
He felt bad, truly. But he just couldnât bring himself to love you, no matter how much and how long he tried. You werenât the problem, there was nothing wrong with you, it just.. wasnât there. The feeling he had when he had first seen PadmĂ© on Tatooine all those years ago, it wasnât there when he was with you. Sure he felt loved and sure he felt warmth, but it just wasnât the same.
He dreaded the talk with you, you were truly a sweetheart and despite not being in love with you, he still loved you. You were always so attentive, so loving and just so so pure.
âWe need to talk.â Anakin started, looking deep into your eyes. âAni!â you beamed, immediately running into his arms, âhow was your day?â
Anakin swallowed hard, looking into her eyes. So full of love. âLook, I love you-â Anakin started âI love you too!â you immediately beamed as you interrupted him. âBut Iâm not in love with you, Iâm in love with someone else.â he finished with a heavy heart. He knew you loved him, but hearing you say that in this right exact moment, made his heart drop.
Your face immediately fell, âwhat do you mean? Ani, donât make jokes like that.â you swallowed, trying to laugh and brush it off like it was just a joke. It was a joke, it had to be a joke, you were so happy together.
âit isnât you.. itâs me. I never loved you the way I love her. I tried-â he swallowed âI really did.â
And you didnât even have to ask who he was talking about.
You swallowed âso it is me, you canât love me.â she sniffles âhow could this happen? We were.. we were fine! You canât joke about something like that!â you said desperate, your pretty face already filled with tears. Anakin just gently shakes his head, looking at you with pure pity.
âShe makes me feel things Iâve never felt before.. Iâve loved her since I was a young boy, she was the whole reason I started being interested in politics. Sheâs my soulmate I just know it. Please understand.â Anakin begs you and you just sniffle as you trie to stifle your sobs. You didnât want him to feel bad, it wasnât his fault after all.
âI want you to be happy, ani. Even if itâs not with me.â you sniffle and Anakin tears up. You were so sweet and you deserved so so so much better than him. You hug him tightly and whisper reassurances into his ear. He knew you were heartbroken, but you still tried to make sure he wasnât feeling too guilty.
And boy were you heartbroken. Your parents were proud of you, for once in your whole entire life. They were pleased that you seemed to hold the marriage, they were proud of you for making it work. What would they say now, especially if they hear the reason?
Especially if they see Anakinâs wedding to PadmĂ© and they will know he divorced you for another woman. But you loved him, and you wanted his happiness.
Seeing him so heartbroken made you want to stay strong for him, made you want to comfort him. Even though you were the one who needed comfort, you were the one being divorced for someone else. Someone who was âjust an old friend, baby. Donât think to much into it.â
You had packed all your stuff with Anakin helping you gently. âIâm just.. Iâm sorry, I wish it was different. I wish-â the last words hanging in the air, unspoken.
But you knew what he meant. He wished he couldâve loved you. âMe too.â your face lighting up at the thought.
He sighed, knowing youâre dreaming of the "what if" right now, in an alternate universe where things were different.
But things weren't different here, and that was painful. That was reality.
You didn't deserve the pain he was causing you, you deserved to go find someone who would actually love you.
When you finished packing, you stood up âiâll be going back to Aldeeran.â you said softly âI have to talk to my parents and figure everything out.â
He gave her a weak smile, he hated the thought of her leaving. But it was for the best. "Okay," he agreed softly, giving you a last look. He didnât know it, but anyone else couldâve seen it, wouldâve seen it. The look of longing in his eyes.
You gently take his hands and place your wedding ring into his hands, then she closes them tightly together and give his hands a light kiss âI wonât ever forget you ani.â you stroked his cheek, your tears running freely now.
He looked down at your gesture for a moment before meeting your eyes, âi will never forget you either.â and he meant it, he didnât know it yet, but he had meant it.
You gently made your way to the door, looking around, desperately trying to burn every detail of your once shared apartment into your head before leaving.
The sight of you, the one he had married, staring at the apartment, trying to remember every single detail in case you never saw it again, was heartbreaking for him.
He almost regretted it, almost wanted to take it all back...But he couldn't, he'd made his choice. And he couldnât go back, his love for PadmĂ© overthrowing it all.
When you had reached the door, being completely sure that every detail of your home was etched into your mind, you turned around and opened the door âi love you, i pray you never forget that.â and with that you close the door behind you, leaving everything behind, including your now ex husband.
He should be celebrating, he had gotten what he wanted, he was free to marry the girl he had always wanted, and he wouldnât even disappoint his parents! So why did he feel so empty?
A few days later Anakin and Padmé married. It was a grand ceremony, Anakin had previously planned it this huge to show his love for her. To show the appreciation for finally giving him a chance after all this time.
But right now, right in this moment, he canât feel anything. He heard the preachers words, he knows his words about love were true. But why wasnât he thinking about PadmĂ©, the one standing in the white wedding dress, right in front of him?
âLove is friendship, Love is warmth and a feeling of comfort. Love is acceptance and understanding. Love is knowing that you will be comfortable with this person for the rest of your life-â the preacher spoke
He knew it was his turn soon, his turn to say yes to the woman he has dreamt of for years.
âi do!â PadmĂ© replied whole heartedly
Anakinâs mind drifted towards you, the woman he had left behind. And now, right now, on his wedding day, when he felt his heavy heart over your departure, when he felt the tears stinging at his eyes over the thought of marrying someone else, when he yearned to run away and take the next ship to Aldeeran,
he knew it.
It was love, and it had been all along.
#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker#anakin x you#anakin skywalker fanfiction#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader
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