alexwhitehall - Tumblr blog

[alexwhitehall]

Snoop Dogg watching the Skateboarding finals with an unidentified man

[alexwhitehall]

On the one hand, deciding to do a herringbone pattern probably increased the floor renovation project time by 4-5 hours. On the other hand, my library floor is going to look bomb as hell (just as soon as I run to Home Depot for more flooring because I ran out 😬). We’ll do black grout in here as well. And once the floor is done…I can start building bookshelves 🎉🎉🎉

[alexwhitehall]

[alexwhitehall]

if you’re white and wanna write a poc character and feel awkward about it i implore you to ignore any twitblr stuff treating it as a massive ethical burden and instead come in more with the same mindset you’d have if you wanted to write about idk firefighters but didn’t know anything about firefighters so you do... research. Like fuck off with the weird kinda creepy calls for spiritual introspection you’re not writing about god damn space aliens you’re writing about humans and if you think you need more perspective of different life experiences just read?

[alexwhitehall]

It annoys me unreasonably when you want to ask people "what bird and what mammal would make the worst gryphon" as a fun thought exercise, and people with no joy and no imagination always interpret it as "a gryphon that sucks, is physically impossible, and would hate being alive", and - being predictable and lacking in imagination - always, always answer with "a hummingbird and a blue whale lol".

Like come on. Why do you have to suck the fun out of everything. Why not use a fraction of imagination and delightful whimsy. Imagine the combination of a mouse and a sparrow. That creature would be merciless, burtal, absolutely determined to get into your trash and has the power of both wings and hands to do its will. Or a crow and a cat - that thing is smart enough to fuck with people and not afraid to do it. Imagine the ungodly shriek of the noble fox-seagull, also determined to get into your trash.

A gryphon that is a combination of a kangaroo and a cassowary. The only proof we have of a loving god is the fact that those things do not exist. If hell is real, it's full of them. That thing can't fly, but it will run you down, it will kill you, and you will look stupid the whole entire time you're dying.

Why would the first thing that pops into your mind at the words "the worst gryphon" automatically be "a gryphon that hates being alive". Can you not picture a gryphon that fucking loves being alive, and has both the power and the will to make it everyone else's problem.

[alexwhitehall]

A polyamorous thruple are taking a hike through the forest when they find a weird rock and lift it. From under the rock a pixie comes out.

"Thank you for freeing me. I am a pixie of love, and as thanks I'll give a gift of gold to each of you. But the gift will only go to the one you love most."

The first member of the thruple says "but I love both my partners equally."

"Then I cannot give you the gift." the pixie replies.

"I'm okay with that. My love is more important."

The second member also says "I also love both my partners equally"

"Then I cannot give you the gift either."

"I'm okay with that. My love is more important."

Finally the third member says "I love this one the most." much to shock of both partners.

"Then they shall receive my gift." the pixie says, grants the gift of gold and then vanishes.

After the pixie left, the first member says "I can't believe you don't love us equally!" and the second member concurs.

Then the third member sighs and then says "I love you both equally and very much so, but fucking hell are you stupid."

[alexwhitehall]

[alexwhitehall]

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

[alexwhitehall]

2024 is the year we stop “consuming” and go back to “reading/watching/listening to/playing” things

[alexwhitehall]

Now tell me, princess, are you strolling through your sacred grove?

And is the moon still shining? You're the only thing I'm thinking of

The sword you gave me, it was heavy, I just had to lay it down

It's funny how defenseless I can feel here when there's nobody around

(2023 version of this)